The Howl (By Kiss and Claw Book 1)

by Melissa Haag

  I opened my mouth to ask if something was wrong with Dad when another thought occurred to me.

  “Adira,” I said. “She called you, didn’t she?”

  “She did.”

  “She’s trying to manipulate me into leaving Ashlyn’s to spend more time with you.”

  “Is spending time with me a bad thing?” Mom asked.

  Guilt hit me hard.

  “Mom, it’s not about you; it’s about Adira. She needs to stop trying to force me to do things.”

  “She told me you’re feeding on non-sexual energy, Eliana. Is that true?”

  “Yes, but not for food. I was just doing it to help people out.”

  “You need to come home now.”

  I pulled the phone from my ear and stared at it in shock. My mom had just used a mom-voice on me. She never did that. Ever.

  “Respectfully, I think it’s best if I don’t come home for a while. I don’t think either of us is in the right frame of mind for whatever talk you want to have.”

  There was a beat of silence before she answered.

  “You might be right. Be careful, Eliana. You have no idea what you’re doing to yourself with these false feedings. I’ll see you at dinner.”

  I hung up the phone with a shaky exhale. Adira’s words from the last dinner she attended at the Quills’ were starting to haunt me. She’d said I would regret my choice, and she was doing everything in her power to make that happen. A gut feeling told me that she was far from done.

  “I really hate Adira,” I said to Ashlyn.

  “Yeah, it was a real dick move for her to call your mom. You okay?”

  My phone buzzed with a text. Instead of answering it, I started cracking eggs into my lava cake batter and answered Ashlyn.

  “Not really. Adira just made a huge mess for me, and I’m not sure what’ll happen next.”

  “Nothing good, most likely.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  I finished mixing my lava cake and got it into a pan. When I was wiping my hands, my phone buzzed again. Giving in, I checked the messages. Instead of being from Mom or Adira, they were from Megan.

  Freedom is one phone call away. Get ready to say goodbye to mommy-dearest!

  She’d sent a second one three minutes after that.

  Everything okay?

  Everything was most definitely not okay. Adira was using Mom to try to control me. And just then, I realized what that meant for me. Freedom was far from one phone call away. Even if the Council officially pardoned Mom, they wouldn’t make her leave.

  I needed to come up with a plan of my own before I lost myself in the aftermath.

  Everything is fine, I sent back. See you soon, hopefully.

  Putting aside my concerns for the future, I focused on the now.

  Ashlyn and I made a mess of her kitchen and decimated her baking supplies, but managed to make three different dessert options.

  “Oh, these are so good,” Ashlyn said around a mouthful of warm brownie.

  I shuddered.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat a brownie again. Piepen’s scarred me for life.” Probably literally the way my luck was going.

  “I’ll take one for the team and eat all these myself. How’s the lava cake?”

  “Good.” And it was good. It just wasn’t as good as my dream lava cake, which was a huge letdown.

  “You’re still thinking about your mom and Adira, aren’t you?”

  I set my fork down and sighed.

  “Yeah. Dealing with Adira is bad enough. Now she’s trying to turn my mom against me.”

  “You know you’re welcome to stay here as long as you’d like. The threat of Megan’s retribution will be enough to keep Adira from doing anything too awful.”

  As tempting as that would be, I knew I couldn’t stay forever. Eventually my hunger would raise its head and put Ashlyn in danger.

  “Thank you,” I said. “But avoiding everything won’t make my problems go away.”

  With my container of lava cake in my hands, I entered the kitchen from the garage. Scents of grilled meat and vegetables filled the air. Mrs. Quill looked up from her place at the stove.

  “Did you have a nice visit with Ashlyn?” she asked.

  I stared at her for a second, wishing our lives were still at the point when I actually thought she cared.

  “The visit was fine until Adira called, trying to play her games again. I can’t wait to be free of this place.” I put my cake in the fridge and started for the door.

  “I’m sorry you’re hurting, Eliana,” Mrs. Quill said.

  I waved and kept walking. Her sorrow didn’t help anything. Her support would have, but heaven forbid she do anything against Adira’s wishes.

  From above, I could hear the thumping beat of muffled music. Resigned, I made my way to my bedroom and ignored the growing scent of lust. How many people did Mom have in Oanen’s room? I was no longer sure a professional cleaning would be enough. He’d need to gut the space by the time he and Megan returned.

  Another thought hit me hard. When he and Megan returned to Uttira, he likely wouldn’t be coming back here. He’d probably go live with Megan.

  I wanted to groan. Was I going to be stuck with my mom forever?

  Continuing past his room, I noticed the door to the entertainment space was open and looked in. Piepen flitted in the air, watching the TV raptly. His jerky movements, and the tiny glowing firework that exploded just in front of him, had me rolling my eyes. I would need to burn that couch when Piepen was gone.

  I glanced at the TV then quickly hurried to my room. I should have known how Mom would keep an adolescent brownie entertained while she was busy. Thankfully, Piepen’s skunk scent was almost completely masked by what was seeping from Oanen’s room.

  In the peace of my own space, I sighed and went to my closet to change for a dinner I didn’t want to attend. Adira would expect it, though, even if she wasn’t there. Based on her call, Mrs. Quill was giving her sister full reports of how much time I was spending in my mom’s presence.

  As if summoned by my thoughts, my mom knocked on my door and entered without waiting for a response.

  “Hey, baby. I thought I heard you come home.”

  “Not sure how you can hear anything with your music so loud.”

  Mom smiled.

  “The music sets the mood for the humans. You know that.” She tilted her head, watching me consider the dresses. “Are you going somewhere?”

  “Mrs. Quill is almost done with dinner. They expect me to change into something fittingly succubus.”

  “I see. There’s no need for that anymore, though. I think it would be better if we stopped with the pretext of eating human food unless we’re using the experience as it’s meant to be used.”

  I frowned at her, confused.

  “It’s a form of foreplay, baby. Putting the fork in your mouth, licking it, swallowing what it provides. It’s a phallic representation to your male companion.”

  “And you’ve just ruined eating for the rest of my life.”

  “Don’t be so dramatic. Human food is a tool, not nourishment. If you’re hungry, I have a buffet in my room. Why don’t you come and sample a little? You might find something you like.”

  “Thanks, but I’m not really in the mood for an orgy.”

  She sighed and stood.

  “Fine, but I’ll leave my door open just in case you change your mind.”

  “I won’t.”

  She’d no sooner left than Piepen came buzzing in, his iridescent wings fluttering behind him.

  “You’re home!” he cried, zooming at me.

  “Stop.”

  He halted midair, just shy of my hand.

  “Baby, don’t be like that,” he said. “I got what you need. Come here and let big P treat you right.”

  “I think I just threw up in my mouth. Stop talking like that.”

  “Like what? You don’t want your baby daddy sweet-talking you?”<
br />
  “Baby daddy? You are not—”

  He zoomed over to my bed and landed face up on my pillow.

  “You know what you need? A ride. Hop on, mama,” he said, patting his tiny hips.

  “I should sit on you and end my suffering, you annoying little P.”

  “Hey now,” he said, sitting up. “Don’t be like that. Is the baby giving you trouble?”

  I threw my hands in the air just as my phone started to ring. I grabbed it, thankful for any reason not to continue the conversation with Piepen.

  “Yeah, what’s up?” I answered.

  “Everything okay?” Megan asked.

  Piepen chose that moment to start humping my pillow. I covered the phone to yell at him before answering her.

  “Not really. I need to find Piepen a better home.”

  Piepen squealed and started pleading with me to let him stay until the baby was born. I rolled my eyes.

  “You do what you need to do,” Megan said.

  “Thanks."

  Piepen came flying at me in all his naked glory.

  “I gotta go,” I said quickly then hung up.

  “No, Piepen. Enough is enough. Get back to your drawer pillow and stay there, or I'm going to put you in a cage. And for the last time, I am not pregnant with your baby or anyone else’s. I’m still a virgin, and so are you.”

  I slammed my door on the way out of my room.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Winter’s wind cooled my face but not my temper. A faint howl echoed in the distance followed by another further off. How great would it be to just change what I was and run free? No. Instead, I was stuck at the Quills’ in my own personal hell. What would Dad say about all of this? He’d lecture on promiscuity then ask if I’d spoken to my mother lately.

  Sighing, I brushed the snow off of a bench and sat. I was who I was. Not a product of my upbringing but of my experience and the personal decisions made because of those experiences. People, whether human or not, weren’t just food. Each life mattered regardless of birth or background. Why couldn’t the Council see the same thing I did? We were all connected. People who knew people who knew people. Every time I heard a human say, “it’s a small world, isn’t it?” I was reminded of those connections. Yet, people with influence and power tended to forget that.

  Was it fear that kept them rigidly holding to their beliefs that only their way could be the right way? Heaven forbid I be allowed my differences or be shown any acceptance because of them. My thoughts ricocheted back at me. Was I being the stubborn one? Was I unhealthy? I wished that everyone would stop telling me what to do and let me figure it out on my own.

  I kicked at the snow at my feet and looked up at the stars.

  “What are we looking at?”

  The voice, so close to my ear, made me jump.

  Swiveling, I glared back at Fenris.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Creeping around in the dark. That’s what we werewolves are known for. That, and chasing girls dressed in red.”

  I glanced down at myself.

  “I’m wearing green.”

  “I thought you might want to go change for me.”

  His humor in the face of my troubles irritated me.

  “Do you ever take anything seriously?”

  His expression sobered.

  “Yes. What’s wrong?”

  “I have an insane, sex-obsessed mother, and she’s staying here. I hate my life and wish I had my mark so I could just leave this place.”

  He stepped over the bench and sat beside me.

  “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

  “Don’t be. None of it’s your fault.”

  “Fault doesn’t matter when someone I care about is hurting. Want to talk about whatever’s going on?” He bumped me lightly then stilled and sniffed.

  I glanced at him.

  “Is that you?” he asked, leaning in and sniffing again.

  A flash flood of heat consumed my face when his nose almost touched my chest. He inhaled deeply. He didn’t pull back when he tilted his head to look up at me.

  “What is that smell?” he asked.

  I could barely think with his face so close to mine. Dirty thoughts filled my head, and my pulse skipped several beats.

  “Eliana?” he said softly. “What happened?”

  I planted my palm over his face and pushed him away. He chuckled and sat again.

  “One of my many problems happened. You know about the goblin at Megan’s. Well, he arrived with a brownie. A fourteen-month-old brownie who can’t stop touching himself and makes me dream of skunks making babies.”

  Fenris snorted a laugh, which he quickly smothered with a swipe of his hand.

  “Please, continue.”

  “It’s far from funny. He saw me naked in the shower more times than I care to recall.”

  “Naked?”

  “Very.”

  “Lucky little flitter.”

  “More than you know. This last time, I hit him with water and he fell right between my…well, he was so excited by it he exploded.”

  Fenris arched a brow at me.

  “Exploded?”

  “Yes. It’s as dirty as it sounds. That’s what you smell. He just keeps going. He thinks we made a baby and is saying the most ridiculous things now. I just can’t anymore. He needs to go. So does my mom. Either the goblin needs to talk, or Megan needs to find the killer because I’m two seconds from losing my sanity.”

  “It can’t be that bad.”

  “My mom made me breakfast in bed.”

  “See? That’s motherly.”

  “Breakfast was two naked boys tucked in with me when I woke up.”

  He exhaled heavily and looked out at the trees. We listened to the distant howls, and I wondered if he could understand what they were saying.

  “I’ll make you a deal,” Fenris said finally. “If I can find a happy home for your pocket pool playing pixie—"

  “Brownie.”

  “—you repay me by showering me with your undying gratitude.”

  I stared at him for a moment. His brown gaze, while still filled with humor, held mine with complete sincerity.

  “What exactly are you asking for?”

  “I want a hug a day until Megan gets back,” he said.

  “Hugs?” Hugs were dangerous. They were full-body contact, usually front to front. I could feel my hunger stir just at the thought of all that touching.

  He shrugged slightly.

  “What can I say? It’s in my nature to like affection.”

  “Are you making a canine joke?”

  “Are you thinking of petting me?”

  My vision sharpened, and he grinned.

  “No. No petting,” I said, blinking in an effort to return my vision to normal. “While I appreciate the offer to help, hugging is too dangerous. For you, not me.”

  “I disagree. I think you hugging me could help us both. I’d get my daily dose of affection, and you’d be doing something that would appease your mom enough to get her back on your side instead of Adira’s.”

  “Hugs aren’t going to appease any of them. It’s gone way beyond that. Give me a real reason why you want a hug, and I might think about it.”

  He studied me for a minute.

  “Because you hate your life and think no one cares. You need to remember your mom, Adira, and the Quills aren’t the only people in your life. You have friends. And I’m willing to remind you of that for as long as it takes until Megan’s here to remind you herself.”

  He nudged me then stood.

  “Come on. Let’s get you back inside before you freeze.”

  We walked the path back toward the house. Before we reached the door, I groaned.

  “I forgot to feed the goblin.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of him before I start looking for the brownie’s new home.”

  “You’re going to start tonight?”

  “Sure. Just be ready to pay up tomo
rrow.”

  The sound of my phone pulled me out of a deep sleep.

  “Hello?” I answered groggily.

  “Get out of bed, beautiful. Your meat-beating brownie issues are solved.”

  My sluggish brain struggled to process what Fenris was saying.

  “My what?”

  “I found your brownie a new home as promised. Meet me at the marshes in thirty minutes, or we’ll miss our chance.”

  I looked at the time on my phone, saw that it wasn’t even six in the morning and that Fenris had already hung up.

  He couldn’t be serious, could he? How had he found a family overnight? Had he slept? Had I? Mom’s party had kept me up until close to three. My eyes felt gritty like I needed at least another two hours. But thirty minutes barely gave enough time for me to drive to the marshes.

  My eyes, which had closed again, flew open, and I scrambled from bed.

  “Piepen, get dressed. We need to hurry.”

  He sat up in his drawer, his shaggy hair wild around his head.

  “Is it the baby? Is it time?”

  “What? No. Get dressed.”

  He flopped back onto his pillow.

  I rushed to the closet, threw on some clothes, and was out the door with a naked Piepen and a handful of brownie clothes two minutes later.

  “I’m going to freeze my bells off,” he said when we reached the garage.

  “I think you mean balls, and they wouldn’t be cold if you’d gotten dressed like I’d said.”

  “No, I mean bells. They make beautiful music when I—”

  “Don’t want to know, Piepen. Just get in and get dressed.” I tossed his clothes into the back seat with him and hurried to pull out of the garage.

  He bombarded me with questions as we drove. Wisely, I didn’t say much.

  “You’re making me nervous,” he said, landing on my shoulder. “Why won’t you tell me where we’re going? Are you going to lock me in a cage and eat my wings?”

  “No. I’m going to do the opposite so you can truly be happy.”

  “I am happy. I’m with my woman who’s carrying my baby. What more could a man want?” He stepped closer to my cheek and stroked a hand over it. “Well, I could think of something,” he said, lowering his high-pitched voice pseudo-seductively. “How about you pull over and I make you really happy?”