Wonder

by Christina C Jones

  Ruby straightened in her seat, propping her elbows on the arms of her chair. “Franchesca taught me how to be strong. I was already a bad bitch, but one with no backbone. Our friendship infused my spine with steel, and I am forever grateful to her for that. In exchange, she helped herself to my husband. At first, I thought it was about sex – I mean, for him, it was. But for her it was about never going back there again. It was about access, and power. So from there, they got what they got, and I got necessary cynicism. I only cared that she had him because it was a betrayal of our friendship, but when he was with her, it meant I wasn’t getting my ass kicked, or being used like a whore. Which gave me time to develop the darkness I wrap myself in now. That whole situation, it made us. It brought us here. Baron dead. Ches with the upper Burrows. Me with my crown. I was content – widowed, with access to big strong men, with big strong dicks. Power. Beauty. Money. I had – have –no true complaints. Is that ever a vibe you picked up from Ches?”

  I sighed and shook my head. “No.”

  “Of course not. Because once they broke Franchesca in that place, she never got fixed. She never stopped seeing their faces. She came to the Apex with me once – saw a group at lunch. Four guys, at a table – maybe they did everything together, including her, in that horrible place. She’s dying inside, but there they are… having lunch.”

  My eyes went wide. “Wow. She said nothing about that.”

  “She wouldn’t have. It was a hard day. But then she started fucking my husband shortly after that, so you’ll understand if my sympathy waned.”

  “I do.”

  “Good. To cut a long story short, yes. I believe Franchesca may have been driven by, blinded by revenge. I don’t believe you were subjected to quite the same horrors she was, so your demons may look different. Or more likely, you’ve beat them all away already in the cage, back when you were self-medicating.”

  I chuckled a little. “Something like that. Talking about it helped, but Ches never wanted to do that.”

  “No,” Ruby shook her head. “She didn’t. But, with that said, I pulled her history from the doctor you all use over there. She didn’t have the equipment to confirm before her death, but I gave her permission to look, afterward. Franchesca had a tumor in her brain,” Ruby revealed, with a little sigh. “That would explain the recent change in behavior, her demeanor.”

  I sat back, scrubbing a hand over my face. “She didn’t say anything about being sick. And there I was, being an asshole because—”

  “No,” Ruby interrupted with a little smile. “Nothing makes this your fault. Nothing makes you responsible. She should’ve stepped back. She should’ve asked for help.”

  “I should’ve known something else was going on.”

  “You didn’t because she didn’t tell you. Or anyone. That was her mistake. Taking on undue guilt about it is just going to make you sick too.”

  I frowned. “So, you don’t feel any remorse about killing her, knowing this?”

  “Not a shred,” Ruby answered. “She had that coming – she earned that, well before this tumor came. But because she was my friend – because I still loved the person who taught me so much about myself, I don’t think of what I did as killing her. She was already dying, Maddox. I gave her mercy.”

  I considered it for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah. I guess that makes sense.”

  “I know this is futile, but I’m going to say it anyway – don’t make this more than it is. I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t mourn Ches. More than anyone else, you have a right to. What I am suggesting is that, just like me, the person you’re mourning was already gone. And that is not your fault. Don’t let misplaced guilt tell you it is.”

  “I hear you, Ruby.”

  “Do you though?” She smiled, and stood, extending a hand across the desk, which prompted me to mirror her actions. I was being dismissed. “I’m giving you two weeks to get back with whatever plans you have for the upper Burrows. Please use any resources you have available – if you need property lines, demographic information, anything. We have it.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I think you will make an excellent leader, especially with Aly by your side. I know you see the potential in her – please don’t underestimate it.”

  I lifted an eyebrow. “Absolutely not. I don’t need to be concerned about all the favors she owes you, do I?”

  Ruby’s grin turned into something else – something… proud – as she nodded. “See? Smart man,” she chuckled. “But no, you don’t. Both of you had legitimate grievances against Ches – you both wanted her blood, but so did I. Aly negotiated her debt by conceding to my presence in the room.”

  “Are you telling me you wouldn’t have pulled rank and done it anyway?”

  She scoffed. “Of course I would’ve, nothing would have kept me out of that room. But I liked that she had the guts to make that deal, so I accepted it.”

  I laughed. “You like Aly, don’t you?”

  “Something you and I have in common,” she admitted. “Albeit, a very different fondness than what you feel for her. Every queen needs a protégé.

  Those words made my next few blinks a little harder, but I didn’t hate the thought of that. A penchant for violence aside, Ruby was a good leader, and possessed strength and general bad-assness I knew Aly admired. It wasn’t up to me either way, but I didn’t mind Ruby’s influence at all. Not if it helped Aly fully blossom.

  “Good luck to you, Maddox,” Ruby said, really dismissing me this time. We shook hands again, and I climbed on my bike with no intention of going straight home first. I needed to make my way to the empty stretches that separated us from the division borders, so I could just think.

  So I could process not just today’s information, but everything over the last week. I couldn’t help wondering if this was what Aly had felt, when her life had shifted so fast, in such a short time. The confusion, the guilt, the anger, the fear.

  I didn’t know how any of this shit would go.

  So I’d stay on the bike until I figured it out.

  I found them.

  It was the tiniest mention, with minimal details, but as soon as I ran across the words, I knew they were about my parents.

  “… working with a consultant from the Burrows, a team of activists attempted to arm an APF truck with explosives. This act of protest was never meant to have casualties – not even APF officers. The goal was for the truck to make it back to base where it would be parked among hundreds of other APF vehicles not in use. The explosive would be detonated overnight, handicapping and distracting the APF long enough to secure other parts of the resistance. Instead, the team was discovered, and an officer opened fire, detonating the explosives at a transit gate, resulting in hundreds of deaths. The failed exercise sparked increased police presence, stricter laws, and much harsher punishments for perceived crimes. This reaction from the Apex suppressed any attempt at resistance in the Mids since then.”

  Damn.

  I closed the book I’d been looking through, unsure of how to feel.

  The strongest reaction was guilt.

  All those people who died, and all the ones who didn’t – all affected by my parents’ failed mission. How much different would my life look if they’d succeeded – if they’d gotten away with it. Would it have been the start of a revolution in the Mids? If so, would we have survived it?

  Or what if they hadn’t done it at all?

  Not even an attempt?

  Would they still be alive now? Would Gran?

  Would I ever have known there was a possibility of life outside the Mids?

  Would someone else have done it?

  But all of that was irrelevant.

  The fact was that they’d tried, and failed, and everyone left behind had been forced to face the consequences. They’d sacrificed themselves, and not a single one of us had been better off for it.

  That made me angry.

  But somewhere in there, tucked way d
own, there was a bit of pride. No, it hadn’t worked – it had gone horribly wrong. But it took courage to try something like that – to try to save the world as you know it. Courage that most people didn’t have, but they did. They’d tried.

  It was okay to let that, privately at least, count for something right?

  “Isn’t this the coolest library?” Nadiah called from the doorway as she stepped into where I was. I’d been surprised to find this huge room full of books at Ches’ compound, but I was glad it was here – I needed to learn as much as I could.

  “Yeah,” I nodded, looking up to find her with her usual smile on her face. “It’s all cataloged and everything.”

  “You gonna read them all?”

  I grinned. “Maybe. Surprised to see you by yourself,” I teased, and she wrinkled her nose at me.

  “I could say the same for you – where’s Maddox?”

  “Still not back from his meeting with Ruby,” I sighed. “That’s why I’m in here keeping myself busy. Picking up a few things along the way I guess.”

  “Anything interesting?”

  I thought about it for a second, then opened the book back to the page I’d been on before. I slid it across the table toward her, and she stepped forward. Her eyes moved fast over the words, identifying and absorbing. Then, she looked up, meeting my eyes.

  “You think this is about mom and dad?”

  “I do.”

  “This is messed up.”

  “It is.”

  Nadiah sighed, then dropped into the seat across from me. “Can I tell you a secret?”

  “Of course. You can tell me anything.”

  “Even if you might wanna bludgeon me after you hear it?”

  My eyebrow went up. “Yes. Even then.”

  She wet her lips with her tongue, then met my gaze. “I don’t think Adam Bishop showed up at our house just because I hadn’t responded to the scholarship.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah. After we went to the Burrows, after I met Mosley, and had access to the computers, all that… my classes just weren’t doing anything for me anymore. I had a project I was working on – the project that earned the scholarship, actually. Drones. The Apex hasn’t re-mastered them yet, but I did. Well, almost. I talked to Mos about it, and he helped me figure out this last piece, but when I made it back to class I couldn’t make myself finish it. I knew they’d just confiscate it, and someone else would get credit. The instructors pressed me about it, and I stopped going.”

  My mouth dropped open, and I leaned forward. “Did I hear you right? You stopped going to school?”

  “They were all over my back, Aly! I didn’t know how to tell you, and it didn’t seem like anybody cared anyway. Instead of going to classes, I spent my days at the library, trying to figure out if I could get a job, studying and researching, looking up stuff about that bombing.”

  I shook my head. “Nadiah, how long did you think you’d be able to keep that up?”

  “I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I didn’t know what to do. And then Adam Bishop shows up at the door. The same Adam Bishop whose name was in all those lying ass press releases about the bombing that killed our parents.”

  “I didn’t realize. Didn’t recognize the name.”

  She nodded. “Yeah. He’s a scary dude.”

  “Now that I could tell.”

  Nadiah chuckled, then pushed out a breath. “Are you mad at me?”

  “Mad? No. Do I wish you wouldn’t scare the hell out of me? Yes.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whined, sounding so pitiful that I wasn’t sure I could be mad, if I wanted to.

  “It’s over now, so nothing to be sorry about. Ruby assured me she would put an end to the whole bounty thing, and I have no reason not to believe her,” I said, offering a reassuring smile. “We’re safe. At least for now.”

  “Speaking of Ruby… Mad has been gone a long time. You don’t think she’s torturing him or anything do you? She is terrifying.”

  I laughed. “Yes, she is, but to answer your question, no, I don’t think she’s torturing him. I think it’s a big undertaking for Mad, to be promoted like this. I’m sure he’s just processing.”

  That made a huge smile spread across Nadiah’s face.

  “What?” I asked, and she shook her head.

  “Oh nothing. I just love how you know him so well already.”

  “I wouldn’t say that at all,” I denied. “But I’m enjoying getting there.”

  Nadiah’s lips twisted. “Mmmhmm girl. Anyway, I’m going to go find Mosley.”

  “Of course you are,” I teased. “I think I’m going to call it a night too though.”

  “We should have breakfast or something tomorrow,” Nadiah suggested. “The four of us.”

  I nodded. “Okay. I’ll let Maddox know. I love you.”

  “I love you too,” she told me, blowing a kiss in my direction before she headed out. I wrote the book down in the log to show I was checking it out, to take with me to Maddox’s house.

  Home.

  It was late when he came in, but I was awake. In his bed, reading, with the help of a book light Mosley had gifted me.

  I could tell he thought I was asleep, based on his deliberate movements. He was trying to be as quiet as possible in the removal of his heavy boots, getting something to drink, and then climbing into the shower to wash the day off.

  I stayed where I was.

  Listened.

  Waited.

  And then, after what felt like forever, he joined me in the oversized bed.

  “Rough day?” I asked, propping up on my elbow. I’d turned on the lamp light so he’d know I was awake, instead of letting him poke around in the dark. Even in just that soft illumination, I could see the exhaustion that laid on him. Could feel it almost.

  He nodded, hooking an arm around my waist to drag me on top of him. I put my head down on his chest, settling into his body.

  “Ruby told me about the deal you made.”

  My head popped back up, and I met his gaze. “Are you mad at me?”

  “No. She tried to have you abducted. As good as signed a death warrant on you and your sister, basically. If Ruby hadn’t gotten her, I probably would’ve had to do it myself, once I confronted her. It was inevitable.”

  The pain and fatigue in his eyes were so, so clear. “But that doesn’t make it hurt any less?”

  “No,” he shook his head. “It doesn’t. I’ll be good though.”

  “I know you will,” I assured him. “Except for the times you aren’t, and that’s okay too.”

  His hand came to the middle of my back, for a lazy back-and-forth stroke. “I appreciate that. Appreciate you.”

  “Yeah, well the feeling is mutual.”

  I pushed myself up, bringing my lips to his. What was intended to be sweet and reassuring shifted to something else, something deeper, as he took over my mouth.

  “I’m gonna need you,” he said, when we pulled away from each other.

  The corners of my mouth turned up. “You have me.”

  “I mean in this new role, that Ruby put me in. I mean, the other way too, but you already know that. I’m saying, I can do this by myself. But I don’t want to. So I need you.”

  “Then you’ll have me,” I told him, settling back into a comfortable place in his arms. “Tell me what you need first.”

  “A plan,” he answered, immediately. “I have some of it – a lot of it – in my head already, just have to refine it. But I don’t want to be in this position symbolically. Or worse, selfishly. I want things to be different. Better. And I feel like you probably have ideas about that.”

  I sat up, staring at him, sprawled wide across the bed. “How much different? How much better? And for who?”

  “The most we can. On all counts.”

  My gaze landed on the nightstand, on the book I’d been reading – The Anatomy of a Revolution. I looked back to Mad and nodded.

  “Yeah. I have a few ideas.”


  Acknowledgments

  If it weren’t Alexandra, Jeanette, and Love, there wouldn’t be a “Wonder”.

  Periodt.

  Ladies, I cannot say enough about what your encouragement has done for me, but I hope you know how deeply I appreciate you.

  Thank you.

  To my betas… y’all took one for the team with this one LOL. Thank you!

  Also by Christina C Jones

  Love and Other Things

  Haunted (paranormal)

  Mine Tonight (erotica)

  Equilibrium

  Love Notes

  Five Start Enterprises

  Anonymous Acts

  More Than a Hashtag

  Relationship Goals

  High Stakes

  Ante Up

  King of Hearts

  Deuces Wild

  Sweet Heat

  Hints of Spice (Highlight Reel spinoff)

  A Dash of Heat

  A Touch of Sugar

  Truth, Lies, and Consequences

  The Truth – His Side, Her Side, And the Truth About Falling In Love

  The Lies – The Lies We Tell About Life, Love, and Everything in Between

  Friends & Lovers:

  Finding Forever

  Chasing Commitment

  Strictly Professional:

  Strictly Professional

  Unfinished Business

  Serendipitous Love:

  A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

  Didn’t Mean To Love You

  Fall In Love Again

  The Way Love Goes

  Love You Forever

  Something Like Love

  Trouble:

  The Trouble With Love

  The Trouble With Us

  The Right Kind Of Trouble

  If You Can (Romantic Suspense):

  Catch Me If You Can

  Release Me If You Can

  Save Me If You Can

  Inevitable Love:

  Inevitable Conclusions

  Inevitable Seductions

  Inevitable Addiction

  The Wright Brothers:

  Getting Schooled – Jason & Reese