Preconception

by Aliyah Burke

  Declan.

  “I see.” Her words were barely above a whisper.

  “Get some rest. I’ll be right here.” Another brushed kiss on her head.

  “Love you, Daddy.”

  “Love you too, sweetheart.”

  She lay as close as she could to his arm and closed her eyes, his scent comforting her as it had when she was younger, spiriting her away to the land of sleep and Hypnos.

  * * * *

  Terri sat beside her when she woke next.

  “Hey.”

  “What are you doing here?” Caro asked.

  “Came to visit and bring flowers.” She gestured over her shoulder.

  Tracking her movement, Caro discovered a large vase of vibrant-hued flowers. She smiled as she took in the mixture of roses, lilies, sunflowers and more. “Beautiful, thank you.”

  “Not from me, I just brought them up. From my office.”

  “Your people are so good to me.”

  Terri laughed. “They love you there. You always bring them sweets when you come. And we all feel horrible about what happened.”

  “You deserve the credit, Terri. You called him. I’m just glad they didn’t smash into your place as well.”

  “You know I’m here if you need to talk.”

  “I know. And I appreciate it. But I think this is something I have to work through on my own.”

  “I’ll save the professional speech and just say okay.” She paused. “This time. But if I think you need it and you’re not coming. I’m coming to you. I won’t lose my best friend.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Better not. We have plans to fulfill yet.”

  “I know.”

  “Did your dad tell you about what he read in the paper?”

  She readjusted her bed. “Yes. Have you heard anything else?”

  “Not a peep. I could call back down there and enquire if you’d like me too.”

  “No. I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

  “Okay. I won’t push that.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Now, are you ready to leave? You can go home today. That’s why I’m here. I’m taking you. Your parents wanted to set something special up for you.”

  “I’d figured.”

  They checked her out and she moved slowly from the wheelchair to the front seat of Terri’s BMW SUV. Buckling her seatbelt, she stared at the falling snow. Terri hopped in and got them moving. Part of her wanted to cry but more of her wanted to move on. She’d said her goodbyes to Declan and her thank you for what he’d done. He had come for her.

  * * * *

  Caro sat at the window of her apartment. Her landlord had offered for her to move into a different one, even in another of his buildings, based on what had happened. She’d refused—part of the reason she’d taken this one to begin with was because of her view. She loved it.

  Her bags were beside her and she waited for Terri to come to the door. She had a trip to take. All those long nights of lying awake and thinking about Declan had eaten at her. She had to see if she could wrangle up a face to face with him.

  “Ready?”

  Bending, she grabbed the handles of her duffle and said, “As I’ll ever be. Thanks for driving me.”

  “No problem. Can I assume you’re only taking one bag because you don’t plan on being clothed most of the time?”

  Caro laughed and rolled her eyes. “You have sex on the brain, Doc. You should see your boyfriend about that.”

  “He’s in Vladivostok for another week before he comes home.” A wink. “If you come back and your battery supply is depleted, I’ll owe you some.”

  “Yes you will.”

  Together they headed down, and in Terri’s vehicle kept up the light-hearted banter. Caro hopped out at the airport and waved to her friend as she walked inside. At her gate, she pulled out her Kindle and started reading a book, one that would normally keep her attention for she was a huge fan of the author, but this time, her concentration was nil.

  Her flights were uneventful and as she slipped behind the wheel of her rental she was nervous. What if he wasn’t there? What if he slammed the door in her face?

  “Oh suck it up, Caro. Get out there and find out for yourself.”

  She got on the road and drove carefully, grateful they were at least plowed. They weren’t in the best of condition but it was better than she’d been expecting, honestly. Darkness had fallen when she pulled into the small town. She parked before the first place she’d visited when she had been here before and shut off the engine. The town was still as silent as it had been then.

  “Stop procrastinating. Get going.”

  She took the keys and climbed out. Walking up to the door, she gazed around. Not a person in sight. With a deep breath, she opened the door and stepped inside the warm building.

  “Be right with you.”

  She waited near the entrance for Martin to appear.

  “What can I help you with tod—” He slowed to a stop. “Caro.” He looked beyond her. “What are you doing here?”

  “I need to find Declan. Is he here?”

  Martin approached and guided her to his desk where he pushed her into a chair. Seconds later she had a steaming cup of coffee before her as Martin sat on his desk.

  “You’re looking for Declan?”

  “Yes. Is he at his cabin, Martin?”

  “No. At least not that I know of. He’s not been in contact with me if he did come back. I just saw Tasha and she didn’t say he was home either.”

  “How is she doing?”

  “Learning to be a single mom. But okay. I’ll tell her you enquired after her.”

  The words weren’t spoken aloud but she knew he didn’t feel right about her being there. She drank her coffee before she spoke again. “I know my being here is a problem for you, Martin, and I’m sorry. I just…needed to thank him in person as opposed to the note I used before. That’s all.” She stood. “I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

  Heart breaking, she walked to the door and slipped through without a glance back. She was tired but it didn’t matter, she had to return to the airport. As she started the engine, she decided to swing by his place just to see for herself. If there was no sign of life, she would head back. If there was, she’d suck up her fear and go knock on his door.

  * * * *

  “Got a minute?”

  Declan rolled his eyes at the feminine voice. “What do you want, Jackie?” He continued to put items in his box.

  “Why are you quitting the force? You’re a hero.” She appeared in his line of sight.

  “None of your business why I do anything.” He stared at the picture of him and some of his fellow brothers. With a puff he added it to the box.

  “You know we were good together.” She lifted out one of his first commendations. “I remember when you got this.”

  He snatched it back. “What do you want? Is this a now I’m finally worthy of the great and powerful Jacquelyn Ashcraft because I’m known as a hero for what I did? Because if that’s what you’re here for you can turn your bottle blonde ass around and leave. I’m not interested. I’ve been on that ride and it wasn’t a fun one.”

  Her green gaze hardened. “No need to be an ass.”

  “Why not? You’ve been a bitch the entire time. Why are you allowed but I’m not.”

  “You know I’m an ADA.”

  “Oohhh. Ladeefuckingdah. Congratulations. I’m a man who doesn’t give a fuck. Are you here for a real reason or just looking out for number one again?”

  She ground her jaw and normally he would back off but right now, he didn’t care in the slightest that she was angry. So was he.

  “I wanted to say there’s a PI spot available for the DA’s office if you’re interested.”

  He lifted one eyebrow and held her gaze. “Put myself in a position where you can give me orders? Thanks but no thanks.” He dropped in the last of his stuff and stepped closer to her, voice dropping
. “You’re all about you, Jackie, and that’s fine. You do you. But I’m not giving you that kind of say over me. Thanks for thinking of me, if that’s even why it came up—which I highly doubt—but I’m going to have to decline the generous offer.” He leaned closer. “I can’t live like you, not giving a damn who gets hurt along the way as long as your record doesn’t suffer. Have a good life, ADA Ashcraft.”

  Declan picked up his box and walked to the door. The men and women in the area watched him, his old LT included. He didn’t slow, didn’t stop to look at them. He’d already said his goodbyes, no need to do so again.

  He took the elevator down, his hip hurting him, and rested the box on the bar as the car moved. Limping to his truck, he wondered how he would make the adjustment. He’d been a cop for so long he didn’t know how to be anything else.

  “Something to think about later,” he muttered.

  He drove away from precinct for the last time and didn’t even bother trying to justify the pricks of tears in his eyes. He’d loved his job, there’d been no doubt about that. At his home, he set the box in his office then walked out of the room, shutting the door decisively behind him.

  Slumped on the couch, he dangled a beer in his hand as he stared at the television. His phone rang and he ignored it, draining the rest of his drink. Three more times it rang. On the fourth time, he reached for the handset and snarled into it.

  “What do you want?”

  “Is that any way to answer a phone?”

  Martin. “What do you want, Martin?”

  “Just wanted to let you know your woman came here.”

  “My woman?”

  “Caro.”

  He sat upright in a flash. “Caro? Came there?”

  “She said she was looking for you. I told her you weren’t here.”

  “Is she still there?”

  “Nope. She left. Swung by your cabin, though. Guess she didn’t believe me when I said you weren’t around.”

  “How’d she look?”

  An understanding chuckle left his friend. “Sad. Definitely not as full of fire as she was previously. What happened to her?”

  “A lot, Martin. A lot. She was shot a few times and almost died.” Christ, it still made him sick to his stomach to think about that day. His final in a uniform.

  “You should find her, son. Find her and get her back. You both sound like shit.”

  “Why would she want me? I’m jobless and I told her I never wanted to see her again.”

  “Who saved her?”

  “I carried her to the ambulance.”

  “And you found her why? Because you were looking for her.”

  That was true. They had been doing a property by property search for her. If that explosion hadn’t happened when it had he would have left never knowing she was being held prisoner there.”

  “She’s a fighter, she would have been found.”

  “So you tell her all you did and still save her? Seems to me, son, if you’d get your head out of your ass you would see what I do.”

  “Which is?”

  “She loves you. Why else would she come all the way out here looking for you? Lord, you young people sure are stupid at times.”

  “You really think she loves me?”

  “Declan, it don’t matter what I think. It all matters what you think and the actions you take because of that belief. Me, though… If I had a woman who would track me down out here just to say thank you face to face, I’m thinking there’s a bit more there to it than just gratitude.”

  “Thanks, Martin.”

  “Go get her, kid.”

  The call ended and Declan smiled as he hung up the receiver. “I plan on it.”

  He went to his closet and changed into some clean clothes. The knock on his door gave him pause as he shoved his cell phone and wallet into his pants. Opening it, he groaned with disbelief.

  “Wasn’t once a day enough, Jackie?”

  “We need to talk about this, McBride.”

  “You have your car?”

  “Not mine but the job’s car service, so yes. Why?”

  “Good, I have somewhere to be, we can talk on the way.”

  “Okay.” They rode down the elevator in silence and at the car, he slid in first.

  “Where to?” she asked.

  “Airport.”

  “You heard him, Karl. Drive to the airport.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Jackie looked at him and crossed her legs. “Why are you so determined to ignore our past?”

  “Ignore it? I’m not. What I’m doing is called moving on. Remember? You told me to do that when you left my bed for that other man’s.”

  She flushed. “So I wasn’t the best wife in the world. But we were good together.”

  He shook his head. “Let me stop you before you even go further. I’m not helping you boost your career. I’m not the man for that, Jackie. Let it go. You don’t get to shove people to the side then expect them to come crawling back and be grateful to do so just because you put some attention their way. We’re finished. There’s no second chance anything.”

  “You don’t have to be so crass.”

  He laughed. “That’s not crass. Trust me, I’ve cleaned it up a lot out of respect for your driver. You know me, Jackie. I don’t give a damn about a lot of things. I cared about you and my badge. You killed that when you cheated on our vows. You cheated because I wouldn’t seek out the title you wanted me to have. If you thought sleeping with a detective would get me motivated to get the shield you were sorely mistaken. I loved you. Loved. Past tense. Don’t anymore and I’m not willing to be pawn to your social and political climbing.”

  “Nothing I say will ever change that fact, will it?”

  “Here’s fine,” he told the driver who pulled up to the airport. He opened the door and glanced over at his ex-wife. “Nope. Never. Have a good life, Jackie. Thanks for the lift.”

  “Wait,” she said.

  He stuck his head back in. “Yes?”

  “No luggage. What are you doing at the airport?”

  “Catching a flight. There’s a woman I need to see about a happily ever after.” He slammed the door and jogged to the entrance of the airport. At the counter he said, “I need the first flight to Madison, Wisconsin, please. Your line and the others.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Caro sat before her computer typing on the keyboard, entering her latest findings. She rolled her shoulders, trying to alleviate the tension and stiffness.

  “You should go home.”

  “Thanks, Thad. I will as soon as I finish entering this information.” She glanced over at him. “What are you still doing here?”

  “Same as you. Entering data.”

  They shared wry smiles. Thad Claire was a great co-worker. He wasn’t one who wanted to prove himself as smarter than the women. He wanted to do his job. Well. The man was super-intelligent and she genuinely liked him as a person.

  She stood and stretched. “Well, I need coffee, can I bring you anything?”

  “Coffee would be awesome. And some kind of candy bar. I need some energy or I’m going to fall asleep right here.”

  “Got it. Be right back.”

  She walked slowly down the hall and when her phone rang, she didn’t stop, just answered it. “Hey, girl.” Terri had her own ring.

  “Hey. When are you getting home?”

  She entered their break room. “No clue. Probably not for about two hours or so. I’m in the middle of entering my data. Well, not right now, right now I’m getting coffee and candy for myself and Thad. Why?”

  “I left something for you in your place and I have some food I’m going to heat up for you. Call me when you’re about to leave and I’ll take it over and put it in the oven.”

  “You’re the best.”

  “I know.”

  Caro laughed. “And so modest. What’d you leave for me?”

  “Something I think you’ll like. I know you will. I’m taking batt
eries as payment.”

  She poured their coffee. “I should be worried you know where my batteries are.”

  “I should be worried you have such a large collection of them.”

  She snorted. “You should be thankful. I’m apparently buying them for two.”

  “You’re the one with the extensive collection, I just have—”

  “Lalalalala, I don’t want to know.” Caro smiled as she fixed Thad’s drink and grabbed him two candy bars. A Snickers and a Whatchamacallit.

  “Come back soon and don’t forget, call me when you’re ready to leave there.”

  “Will do and thanks again, hon.”

  “No problem.”

  She hung up and walked back to the room. Thad thanked her and they got back to work.

  As promised she called Terri as she finished up and got ready to leave. She and Thad walked outside in the snowy night.

  “See you later, Carolyn.”

  “Night, Thad.” She climbed into her vehicle and sent up thanks she had automatic start for it was warm and she got on her way. At her apartment building, she parked in her spot and made her way up to her door. Fighting a yawn, she unlocked it and let herself in.

  The air smelled of manicotti and garlic bread. Her stomach growled in anticipation. Bless you, Terri. Setting her keys in the bowl beside the door, she toed off her shoes and flipped on a light.

  “Wonder where she put this package she said was waiting for me?”

  “Right here.”

  She screamed before she realized who stood in her place. Declan McBride. Hungrily she trailed her gaze over him as he stepped from the shadows into the light. Scruff on his jaw made him appear darker even. His harsh features seemed gaunter than when she had seen him last. Still, he had those same broad shoulders and lean hips. Past him she saw his black leather jacket hanging over the back of her sofa.

  She ogled his jeans—looser than usual, yet still not doing anything to hide the powerful legs. His dark blue Henley had its sleeves pushed up showing off the dark hair on his muscled forearms.

  “Declan.”

  “Caro.”

  Torn between her desire to run into his arms or hook her own around her waist to keep from touching him and letting him see how much she trembled, she stayed where she was. “Wha… What are you doing here?”