P.S. I Like You

by Kasie West

  Ashley was sitting on the couch eating a bowl of ice cream. Her eyes went wide when she saw me. “What?”

  “This!” I held the shirt for her to see.

  “I was going to wash it.”

  “Why were you wearing it? You didn’t even ask. It probably doesn’t even fit you right, anyway.” Ashley was much taller than me.

  She made a face. “You weren’t home to ask.”

  “Ashley. Seriously.”

  “Fine. Chill. I’ll ask next time.”

  At this point, Mom walked in. “What’s going on, girls?”

  “Nothing.” I started to walk away. There was nothing I could do about the shirt now. I was meeting Isabel in an hour. I’d have to find something else to wear.

  “Where are you going?” Mom asked.

  She must’ve noted my hair, which I had managed to tame into relative smoothness tonight. “To finish getting ready,” I said.

  “Ready for what?”

  Just then, Jonah came bouncing over, wearing a blue-and-red dinosaur costume. “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” he yelled louder than necessary.

  My mom put her hand on his shoulder and he stopped bouncing. She continued to look at me, waiting for an answer.

  “I’m going out with Isabel,” I said.

  “You didn’t tell me that,” Mom said.

  I panicked, my mind rewinding through the week to try to pick out the conversation I could’ve sworn I had with my mom so I could reference it now. It didn’t exist.

  “You said you’d take us trick-or-treating,” Jonah whined.

  “Ashley can take you,” I said.

  My sister shook her head. “Nope. I’m going to a Halloween party tonight.”

  “Can’t Mom take you?” I asked Jonah, desperate now because I knew how he got when he had his mind set on something.

  Mom gave me her disappointed look but to Jonah said, “Yes, I’ll take you.”

  The dinosaur head tipped forward as he looked at the ground in a pout. It was a really pathetic sight. As I clung to my stained shirt, I knew neither it nor I would be going out tonight. I sighed. Oh well. It was going to be a group date that I would have to spend my last twenty bucks on, anyway. Might as well save the money for something I really wanted to do.

  “I’ll take you, Jonah.”

  Jonah cheered.

  “Thank you, Lily,” Mom said, giving me a quick hug. “Tomorrow night is all yours.”

  “Sounds good.”

  I shuffled back to my room and called Isabel.

  She answered on the second ring. “You better not be canceling on me.”

  “I’m sorry. I promised Jonah I’d take him trick-or-treating.”

  “What do you mean? We’ve been planning this all week. Why can’t Ashley take him?”

  “She’s going to a party.” I took my shirt to the bathroom where I treated the stain with an old toothbrush and soap.

  “Lily,” Isabel whined, sounding an awful lot like Jonah. “You promised.”

  I turned off the sink. “I know, but unfortunately my family has reigning power over my life.”

  “Didn’t you ask your mom about tonight earlier?”

  “I thought I had, but I guess I didn’t.”

  She sighed. “Fine. I’ll talk to you later.” She hung up before waiting for me to say good-bye. I felt bad, but she had Gabriel. She’d be fine without me.

  I glanced at my hair in the mirror. My waves were softer, straighter, tonight. When I put in the effort with a blow-dryer and a little bit of product, I could accomplish this look. I rarely did.

  “How come you can’t look this good when I actually end up going out?”

  “Stop talking to yourself,” Ashley sang out as she walked by the bathroom.

  “I was on the phone,” I called after her. Then I gathered my hair into a ponytail and left to grab my hoodie.

  When Isabel said she’d talk to me later, I hadn’t thought she meant that night, on my porch, with two guys flanking her.

  After taking my brothers trick-or-treating, I had changed into a pair of flannel pajama pants and a tee. I sat on the sofa with a large bowl of candy in my lap, in case any trick-or-treaters stopped by.

  But when I answered the doorbell, I didn’t find costumed kids out there.

  I clutched the candy bowl as I stared at Isabel, my mouth doing the fish thing it sometimes did when words wouldn’t come out.

  “Hey,” Isabel said, ignoring my expression. She adjusted the pair of cat ears on her head. “Trick-or-Treat. Can we come in?”

  “I … ”

  She plucked a roll of Smarties out of the bowl I held and pushed past me, dragging Gabriel by one arm and the other guy, whose floppy hair and lanky frame looked vaguely familiar, by the other.

  “Sure, come in,” I said lamely, setting the candy bowl on the entry table.

  They all slipped off their shoes at the edge of the tiled entryway.

  “Oh, you don’t have to take your shoes off. Our carpet is a mess anyway.” I shut the door. They left their shoes off. “Okay. Let me just … um … put some jeans on.”

  My brothers, who had heard the doorbell, came running out of the TV room, holding the bowl of popcorn I had made them. It was leaving a white trail behind them as it spilled over the sides.

  “Go watch your movie, Things. I’ll be right back.” I rushed into the bathroom where I ran my fingers through my now crazy waves, in hopes of flattening them, and applied some gloss. Then I headed into my room where I threw on a pair of jeans and the first decent top I could get my hands on—it was pale mustard with little birds on it.

  By the time I got back in the living room, Isabel and the guys were sitting on the couch next to several piles of folded clothes, and my brothers had somehow managed to get the rabbit out of its cage and let it loose on the floor. It was hopping around, sniffing at the trail of popcorn.

  “When did you get a rabbit?” Isabel asked me.

  I had questions for her, too. Like, what was she doing here? Why didn’t she give me any warning? “Um … last week. I think.” I stacked the clothes and plopped them into the laundry basket on the floor.

  “Hi, I’m Lily,” I said to the stranger in the room before it became too late for introductions.

  “I’m David,” he said. “We were in Math together last year.”

  I looked at him again, closer, in this new context. Of course I knew him. We had Math together sophomore year. My brain hadn’t registered that when I’d thought he was Gabriel’s friend.

  “You go to Morris High.” I said it like an accusation. And it was. But it was meant for Isabel, not David. I shot her a look. She just smirked and shrugged. So this had been a setup after all. She’d set me up with a guy from school. No wonder she was so mad when I canceled.

  “Yes?” David said, frowning at me.

  “Sorry. I just thought you were a friend of Gabriel’s.”

  The rabbit bounced around a spilled bin of Legos and over Isabel’s foot. She yelped and pulled both feet on the couch before saying, “He is a friend of Gabriel’s. But he also just happens to go to our school.”

  I shoveled the Legos back into the bin and righted it. The rabbit scampered to David and sniffed at the hem of his jeans.

  “Things, go finish watching your movie. But first, put the rabbit back in its home before it has time to cast an evil spell.”

  “He’s not evil,” Wyatt said.

  “Ah, see, he already has you hypnotized. The rest of us would like to keep our senses.” I realized I was being stupid. I needed to shut up. But when I was nervous I tended to let all my odd thoughts come out my mouth. Well, actually, most of the time I let that happen, but especially when I was nervous.

  Jonah picked the rabbit up around its middle, its feet kicking wildly for a moment before they stilled, and the boys left the room.

  “Your mom got them a rabbit?” Isabel said, staring after my brothers.

  “Yeah, you know my mom. I guess she saw so
meone selling it on the side of the road and was worried it was on its way to a Crock-Pot … or a roaster or maybe a spit … how are rabbits prepared, anyway?”

  Everyone was silent.

  “Where is your mom?” Isabel finally said.

  “When I said I’d stay home, she and my dad decided to go to some friends’ Halloween party or something.” I ran my hand through my messy hair and plopped down on the couch beside Isabel.

  “Did they dress up?”

  “Surprisingly, no. Unless their costume was just ‘Weird Parents.’ ”

  The doorbell rang and I went to answer it, this time dropping a handful of candy into the bags of excited little ninjas. When I sat back down next to Isabel, I said, “So … was there a plan? Or you just decided to come say hi.”

  Isabel turned to me, her dark eyes bright. “We decided to come say hi and introduce you to David. He is in the band at school.”

  This was supposed to be our common bond, I could tell by Isabel’s proud smile. “Oh, cool. What instrument do you play?”

  David pushed his floppy brown hair off his forehead. Considering how thin he was, he had a baby face—round cheeks and a wide nose. “The clarinet.”

  “Like the King of Swing?”

  “What?”

  “You know, Benny Goodman. Isn’t he proof that clarinetists can actually make it somewhere?” The words were out before I realized how offensive they sounded. “I’m sorry. That was rude. There are lots of great outlets for the clarinet. Marching bands, orchestras.” Now I just sounded patronizing.

  “Lily plays the guitar,” Isabel said.

  “I try.” Was it too late not to let them in my house? “Do you guys want something to drink?”

  “Sure,” Gabriel said.

  “Isabel, help me in the kitchen.”

  She followed me in and when I was sure the guys couldn’t hear, I whispered, “Why would you do this to me?”

  Isabel sighed. “I thought that if you didn’t know you were going on a date tonight, you wouldn’t have time to stress. That you wouldn’t practice lines in your mind and imagine outcomes.”

  “You thought my awkwardness was from preconceived plans to be awkward?”

  “Yes, actually.”

  I laughed. “Well, now you know the truth.”

  She laughed too. “I guess I do. But come on. Isn’t David adorable? And it’s not like he’s super smooth. You guys fit well.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Give him a chance?”

  I grabbed some cups down from the cupboard and scooped ice from the freezer into them. “Why not?”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you. I really, really thought it would be better this way.”

  I knew her intentions were in the right place. “It’s fine. Here, take these two drinks. Let me check on my brothers. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  I opened the door to the TV room. Wyatt and Jonah were sitting on the couch, the rabbit between them. “Hey, I told you to put the rabbit away,” I said. “He’s going to pee and Mom won’t be happy.”

  “He’s watching this show. It’s his favorite. When it’s over,” Wyatt said.

  I smiled. “You two are strange.” And I loved it. “As soon as it’s over. Not one second later.”

  “Okay,” they both sang out.

  I went back to the kitchen and filled the remaining two cups with water. Okay, self, you can hold a normal conversation with a group of people without looking stupid. There. That was a good pep talk.

  Back in the living room, Isabel had retrieved my guitar from my room and was strumming made-up chords.

  “Oh, Lily, come here. Sit down,” she said. “I was just telling the guys you would play for them.”

  I froze in the doorway, cups in hands. Not only because I wanted to rush in and take my baby from her and tuck it back in its protective case … I did let Isabel touch my guitar; I trusted her … but I did not want to play. At all. It was hard enough talking to new people, but playing, that was a different level. I taught myself the guitar so I could write songs, songs other people would play. I was not a performer.

  Isabel met my eyes and I could tell she instantly knew my thoughts. “Never mind. I’ll keep playing,” she quickly said.

  “Oh come on. Isabel’s been bragging about you for months now, Lily,” Gabriel said. “Let’s hear it.”

  “I … ” The cups in my hands were slipping. I put them on an end table and wiped my hands on my jeans.

  “You don’t have to,” David said, and I gave him a thankful smile.

  Isabel stood. “I’ll go put it away.”

  “I got it.” I reached out and took my guitar from her. After securing it in its case and stashing it under my bed, I joined the others again.

  Isabel was sitting on the floor now, looking repentant. I gave her a smile so she knew I wasn’t mad, and sat down next to her.

  “Sorry,” she said under her breath.

  “It’s okay.”

  Isabel dug her hands into the bin of Legos next to her. “We should have a ship-building competition.”

  “Yes,” Gabriel said. “I am the King of Legos.”

  “Is that a self-proclaimed title or one that was appointed?” I asked.

  Isabel laughed.

  Gabriel acted offended. “Appointed, of course.” He joined us on the floor and scooped out a handful of Legos. “By my father.”

  As I was about to respond that fathers are not fair judges, Wyatt ran into the room, holding something up. Jonah came in after him, crying, blood dripping down his chin.

  Oh no.

  “I got it out!” Wyatt announced. It took me a second to see he was holding a tooth and another second to realize it was Jonah’s.

  Jonah shoved him in the back. “I wanted to get it out.”

  I jumped up and slung my arm around Jonah’s shoulder. “Whoa, vampire, you need to rinse out your mouth after feeding.”

  He laughed through his cry, but no one else was laughing. They looked horrified.

  “He had a loose tooth,” I quickly clarified. “Wyatt, next time leave his teeth alone.”

  “He was being a chicken. Mom said if he didn’t get it out, he was going to swallow it in his sleep.”

  Just then the rabbit came hopping into the room. It went directly to David and proceeded to pee all over his socked foot. I wasn’t sure if it was out of reflex or disgust, but David’s foot flung forward, kicking the rabbit a good three or four feet across the room.

  Jonah gasped. “You hurt him, meanie!” he cried. More blood oozed out of his mouth and dribbled down his chin with the exclamation.

  I might have felt the need to apologize for my brother, but I kind of agreed with him. Who kicked a rabbit?

  “Wyatt, take care of the rabbit,” I said, then directed Jonah into the bathroom down the hall to help him clean up his face.

  “Is Bugs Rabbit going to be okay?” Jonah asked.

  “He’s fine. He has a lot of fur. It protects him.”

  “You said you’d watch the movie with us, Lily, and now you’re playing with your friends.”

  “I know, kid. I’ll send them on their way.”

  But I didn’t have to. After I’d finished helping Jonah and went out to the living room, they were all standing by the open door. Isabel was handing out candy to some trick-or-treaters, but Gabriel and David were putting shoes on.

  When Isabel shut the door, she twisted her bracelet back and forth on her wrist. “We need to get going.”

  David wouldn’t meet my eyes and seemed like he couldn’t get out quick enough. He was holding his right shoe and walking on his tiptoes out the door.

  “Well, when you get your special rabbit powers, give me a call,” I said.

  He tried to laugh but it came out more like a nervous cough.

  Sorry, Isabel mouthed. I shrugged. I didn’t blame her. My family was very overwhelming and only half of us were here. And besides, I didn’t care. I was pretty sure David didn’t even know w
ho Benny Goodman was and for a clarinetist that was a sin as far as I was concerned.

  David was somebody Isabel had picked out for her quest. And he only further proved my point that said quest was impossible.

  “Has anyone seen my blue-handled pliers?” my mom called out to the house in general. When six people lived under one roof, it was often the quickest form of communication. It didn’t necessarily produce results, but it was the fastest. “Anybody?”

  “No!” came the reply from Wyatt.

  My mom poked her head in my room. I was sitting on my bed, in my pajamas, still contemplating whether I wanted to get up or not.

  “I haven’t seen them,” I told her with a yawn.

  “You want to come with me today?”

  About once a month, my mom went to different outdoor craft fairs or flea markets where she sold her creations. “How far away?” I asked.

  “This one’s in town. The Fall Fest. You’d make twenty percent.”

  That was her draw for us to go help—twenty percent of the profits. It seemed like a good deal, unless she only earned fifty bucks, which wasn’t unheard of. Then our take for an entire day’s work was ten dollars. But sometimes she’d earn three hundred dollars and I could walk away with sixty dollars in my pocket. It was a gamble. One I was willing to take because I didn’t only go for the money incentive.

  I went for the people-watching. People-watching inspired me, and I could use some inspiration. Ever since scribbling down a couple of great lines while listening to The Crooked Brookes the other night, I couldn’t conjure up any more good ideas. The newspaper clipping taunted me from the wall next to my bed. It reminded me that I had less than two months to write an entire song—music, lyrics, everything. And I’d barely completed a few lines.

  “Yeah, I’ll go,” I said, finally getting up.

  Mom nodded. “We leave in thirty minutes.”

  The kettle corn cart was closer to our booth than normal and the sweet smell in the air almost made up for what I’d discovered upon arriving at the Fall Fest. In the booth right next to ours was Cade Jennings. His father owned a very successful insurance company and they were giving out quotes today right in the middle of all the craft booths.