Love Story for a Snow Princess

by Beth D. Carter

  “Hello,” he said in a raspy voice. “How can I help you?”

  “Are you Thistle Vann?”

  “I am.”

  Thea smiled and raised one leg. “As you can see, I’m in desperate need of decent boots.”

  The man looked over his glasses at her Ugg boots and raised both eyebrows.

  “So you are,” he agreed. “I don’t think you can wait for me to make you some.”

  “Oh. I don’t really have a choice, unless there’s a shoe store here?”

  He smiled then gestured to the doorway he walked through. “I have boots back here. Come on and take a look.”

  Thea frowned and hesitated. First rule of being a girl was never follow strangers into a back room to look at shoes.

  The man shook his head. “The front room is too small for stock. I promise, all legit.”

  “Oh, right,” Thea replied. “Of course. Um, after you?”

  When Thea left she wore brand new waterproof boots with something called faux shearling inside for a liner. The boots were black and laced up the front. She especially loved the rubber outsole that had a covering made with tiny spokes that could be slipped on in a minute to help prevent slipping on ice. Her feet felt warm and dry for the first time in days.

  She hurried down the street, able to walk confidently instead of hesitating over mounds of snow. As she passed in front of the medical clinic, Paden walked out and the two stopped in front of each other. It was the first time she had seen him in daylight and she couldn’t help but stare. Something fluttered in her belly.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked gruffly as he did that one eyebrow thing.

  The sun did not bring out his sunny disposition.

  “I got new boots,” she said, gesturing to her feet. “Aren’t they cool?”

  He glanced at them. “Good brand. Congratulations.”

  Somehow he made the compliment sound insulting. She bristled and looked at the medical sign behind him. “Are you sick?”

  “What?”

  She nodded to the building.

  “No,” he replied, his tone cautious. “I…had an accident in the kitchen. I didn’t have bandages.”

  He rubbed his forearm through his coat.

  “You don’t have bandages in your home?”

  He shrugged. “I didn’t think I needed them anymore.”

  Thea thought was a very odd thing to say. “How badly did you cut yourself?”

  “Not bad enough to need stitches.”

  “But bad enough to come to the doctor?”

  Again, he shrugged, this time looking uncomfortable. He looked past her, as if wanting to leave, and though she really had nothing more to say to him, she also had the inclination to keep him with her.

  “So, um, will you be at Suinnak’s tonight?”

  He hesitated, licked his lips and nodded. “Yeah.”

  “So I guess I’ll see you,” she babbled. “At Suinnak’s, of course. Usual time.”

  “Yeah, usual time.”

  “Good, good.” She bit her lip. “Well, um, take care, you know, of yourself. Be careful in the kitchen.”

  “I bought some Band-aids,” he assured and patted his coat pocket. And as soon as he said it he got this funny look on his face. Then he abruptly turned and walked away from her, without one word of good-bye.

  She watched his back, mouth hanging open in surprise, all the way down the block until he turned the corner and disappeared from sight.

  Chapter Nine

  When he walked into Suinnak’s later that night, Thea sat in a corner surrounded by a dozen napkin holders refilling each one. Their eyes met briefly before he looked away, taking off his coat and gloves before sitting down at his table.

  “Hey, Paden,” Miki called out, setting a cup of coffee down in front of him. “I knew you’d be in when you heard about the caribou steak. It should be ready in a few minutes!”

  “Sounds good,” he said.

  Miki looked between her and Paden. “So, let me go check on that!” She spun and hurried into the kitchen.

  Thea tried really hard not to look at him, but of course at him was the one place her gaze kept straying. Thea couldn’t help herself; she kept stealing glances at him, admiring the way his shirt seemed to strain over his muscles, how his lips pursed as he blew to cool his coffee. She wondered what he did to keep fit and her mind wandered for a moment as it visualized him lifting weights.

  “How’s your arm?” she asked, unable to keep from talking to him.

  “It’s good,” he answered, flexing his right arm.

  “You’re left handed?”

  “Ever since I could remember.”

  “Do you know fifteen percent of people are left handed and males are twice as likely to be lefties than women?”

  He blinked at her but didn’t say anything. And of course, she couldn’t stop babbling now that she started.

  “And they, um, are supposed to be more creative. You mentioned that you write books. Anything I’ve read?”

  He shook his head. “I doubt it, unless you read graphic novels.”

  “Isn’t that like a comic book?”

  “More or less. But the type I write have more dialogue than illustrations.”

  “Did you read a lot of comics when you were young? Or now? I guess you could still read them, right? It’s not like you have to stop reading comics when you grow up,” she gave a small, high pitched laugh that sounded forced. “I always thought comic book readers wore Superman symbols all over their clothes.”

  He didn’t say anything and she flushed, turning back to the napkins. She had to bite her lower lip to prevent more mindless prattle spewing forth.

  “Captain America,” he said softly.

  “What?” she asked, looking back at him in surprise.

  “My favorite superhero was Captain America, not Superman.”

  “Oh,” she said. “I, um, liked the movies.”

  He gave a ghost of a smile, so fleeting she thought she might have misread it. At that moment Miki walked back in, carrying a plate steaming with food. She sat it down in front of Paden.

  “Medium rare, just how you like,” she murmured, casting another speculative glance between them. Thea refocused on the napkins in front of her. “Thea, when Paden’s done why don’t you have him walk you home?”

  “What about closing-”

  “You closed for me last night,” Miki interrupted, waving away Thea’s protest.

  Thea shot a quick peak at Paden. His green eyes never blinked as met her eyes. Every nerve in her body came alive, humming.

  “That is,” Miki continued, “if it’s okay with you, Paden? Do you mind walking Thea home?”

  He chewed, swallowed, and then shook his head. He didn’t say anything more, just finished his meal while keeping his gaze trained on her. By the time he laid his silverware on the empty plate, Thea was strung tight, and she wasn’t quite sure if it was from anxiety or excitement.

  Miki walked over to pick up the dishes.

  “Oh, Miki, I brought these for you,” he said, picking up a small duffle bag from the floor and handing it to her.

  “A present?” she asked, smiling. She unzipped the bag and looked in, the smile sliding off her face. “Wow, Paden, I’ve never received knives as a present. Has my secret identity of a psycho killer been revealed?”

  She pulled out a butcher’s block and started to put the assortment of different size knives in their places.

  “No, I just had a little accident last night so I thought better safe than sorry.”

  “There’s one missing.”

  “What?” he asked in a strangulated tone.

  Miki showed him the empty bag. On the butcher’s block one slot stood empty, the smallest slot at the end.

  “Oh,” he said surprised, a look of consternation crossing his face. “I’ll look for it at the house.”

  “Well, thank you very much. They’ll come in handy cutting up your dinner.” She smiled bright
ly at him before she balanced the butcher’s block in one hand and the empty dishes in the other as she headed into the kitchen.

  “Bye, Thea!” Miki called out as the kitchen door closed behind her.

  “Are you ready to go?” Paden asked, rising from the table.

  The dryness in Thea’s throat prevented her from speaking. She sat down the napkins, rose and rubbed her suddenly sweaty hands on the thighs of her jeans. In silence they bundled up.

  The cold night air sliced through her. Thea tugged her scarf up higher on her cheekbones. The hum of the generators reverberated though the air, marring the quiet serenity of the town. Paden hesitated for a moment before reaching into his pocket. He brought out a pair of goggles and handed them out to her. Thea picked them up, looking questioningly at him.

  “You wanna see Alaska?”

  “You mean there’s something more to this place than a blanket of white?”

  Again, he gave a hint of a smile. “I live at the base of the National Park. If you take it north and swing around the curve, there’s a huge lake in the bend. It’s partially iced over right now but in the moonlight it’s rather breathtaking.”

  “O-okay,” she stammered. She hadn’t thought her heart could pound any harder but every word he said to her just thrilled her more. She realized, in that moment, that it was excitement coursing through her.

  Paden was an enigma. He was handsome, moody, funny in a non-funny way and though she didn’t even know if she liked him, he was slowly bringing all her feelings back to life. As he walked to the back of Suinnak’s, she followed. A snow encrusted snowmobile waited and he gestured for her to put on the goggles.

  “I guess you never rode a snowmobile?”

  “I’m from Malibu.”

  A slight smile appeared. “Jet ski?”

  “Of course.”

  “Same thing. Just hang on to me and move with my body.”

  That statement stirred up all kinds of visions. As she slid behind him, she encircled his waist with her arms and the position allowed her to lay her cheek against his broad back. Her breath caught in her throat and she closed her eyes for a brief moment, long enough to allow herself the feel of him against her.

  The snowmobile took off through the night, racing along the top of the snow, parting it like waves. Once they were away from the generated lights of the town, the night became peaceful. Motionless. Only the rev of the engine broke the stillness. She held onto Paden, her heart thumping heavily against the magic of the situation. They headed off into the wild, the unknown, at least for her. She watched the town light fall away as they headed toward the shadow of the forest where tall spruce trees stood guard for the mountain. As the land inclined the trees thinned to allow reindeer lichens and shrub thicket to grow, food for the caribou and other creatures. Further up the mountains the vegetation leveled away into a vast tundra, with white snowcaps sparkling under the moon. As they rounded the bend, she saw a huge lake.

  Paden cut the motor to the snowmobile and took off his goggles. The quiet was so complete that all she heard was her own breathing and the thumping of her heart in her chest. She slid off the machine and took off the goggles as well, walking a few steps away to take in the beauty of the moonlight upon the iced over lake.

  “Look up there,” Paden said softly and pointed. She followed his finger to see ribbons of blue and green over the northern cut of the mountain line. Her breath caught in her throat.

  “Is that the aurora borealis?”

  “Yes,” he replied. “Old Inuit legend says it’s flaming torches carried by departing souls.”

  “It’s amazing,” she whispered.

  “It’ll become more pronounced as winter sets in,” he went on. “There’s a major storm headed our way, probably will strike tomorrow night, so I wanted to show you this before it becomes impossible.”

  She looked at his profile. “How do you know about the storm?”

  “I have a satellite connection,” he explained as if this was normal for everyone.

  “Is that, like, internet connection?”

  “Yeah. Like that.”

  “Thank you,” she told him, smiling up at him. “I’m freezing to death but this is absolutely beautiful.”

  She couldn’t look away. The deep shadows of night collected in dark pools around his eyes, but she didn’t need light to know they studied her as well.

  “You’re no good for me,” he said solemnly. “And I’m no good for you.”

  “Paden…what’s your last name?”

  “Winters.”

  “Seriously? Our last names are slightly poetic with each other.”

  “Or, at least, interchangeable.”

  “A thesaurus dream,” she said dryly. Then she took a deep breath. “Paden, I never expected to feel things again.”

  “Me neither,” he whispered.

  She turned her body to face him and the next thing she knew he was lowering his mouth to hers. Cold lips, hot breath. He ran his tongue over the seam of her mouth and she opened, allowing him entrance. Magic sprinkled over the moment, under the moon, by the lake. She wanted more, so much more, and yet to have these feelings, to have any feelings, made her deliriously happy. She wanted to melt into him and his answering groan let her know he was having the same feelings as she.

  He pulled back and stared down at her in the moonlight. They were so close together she could see the dazed shock blazing across his features and it tempered her giddiness.

  “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

  She blinked. That hadn’t been at all what she’d been thinking or feeling.

  He pulled completely back from her. Without his body heat or his kiss to heat her blood, the cold settled on her quickly. Her breath was little puffs of smoke coming quickly out of her mouth. She reached out with a hand to grab him and he pulled away from her sharply. Her arm lowered back down to her side.

  “What’s the matter?” she asked.

  “I shouldn’t have kissed you,” he repeated.

  “You said that already.”

  He ran a gloved hand over his face. “I don’t know what you expect of me, Thea, but I can’t be…”

  His voice trailed off.

  “Can’t be what?” she prompted.

  “Can’t be the next man who promises you anything.”

  She blinked, her mind trying to process his shifting moods. “But I didn’t ask you to promise me anything. You didn’t like kissing me?”

  “It was wrong.”

  “Then…you don’t like me?”

  He sighed. “That’s not it, Thea. It’s just very complicated, okay? I’m…I’m just a very complicated man.”

  “Can you make it uncomplicated?”

  ‘This can’t happen again. Come on,” he gave a nod towards his snowmobile. “I’ll get you home.”

  She was so confused. Clearly he had demons down deep. “Sure. Home to the hotel.”

  Their drive back seemed colder. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Paden had kissed her so passionately and then did a one eighty, leaving her heart iced over.

  Chapter Ten

  Paden threw his goggles across the garage then ran a hand through his hair. She was driving him mad and he didn’t know what to do. Her eyes were changing. They were losing that sad and lost emptiness that had drawn him in, seduced him. Those eyes he could relate to, he could handle, maybe even keep the monster tamed because it would all be meaningless. Being with her would’ve meant nothing.

  Except now her eyes were going soft whenever they looked his way. They were filled with eagerness, a hint of excitement. She wanted him and the problem he faced was the fact that he wanted her back.

  He could feel himself losing control. The monster inside him stirred.

  “Fuck!” he yelled and picked up one of his kitchen chairs and threw it against the refrigerator.

  He tried to calm his breathing. Tried to relax. He closed his eyes and tried the mental techniques he’d been taught to try to calm his min
d. Nothing worked. He opened drawers looking for the knife. When the kitchen proved fruitless, he stalked into his bedroom and checked the nightstand. There it lay, dull silver gleaming in the hallway light. He stared at the blade, straight edged and sharp. His demon moaned, calling for it.

  I need it. The weight of the knife in the palm. The handle against tightening fingers. Glint of light off the blade. Sharp prick of the knife point. Stinging bite of smooth metal slicing soft flesh. Watching crimson liquid bubble up, growing darker as it streams out in tiny, thin rivers. Fascinating. Acrid smell of blood. Almost taste the metal. Endorphins flooding the bloodstream. Pleasure with the pain. Need it. Meeting steel to skin. Heightened refocusing of the mind. Forget everything. Sink into it. More pain. More pleasure. All else drops away. Oblivion. Bliss cocooned in craziness. Craziness cocooned in bliss. So enjoyable. So euphoric. Mind clearing and mind numbing all at once. Want. Need. Crave… Feed…

  Paden’s mind went blank as he reached for the knife, clutching it in one hand.

  Chapter Eleven

  “I found a place for you to live,” Miki said casually the next day as Thea was changing the coffee filter.

  “Oh,” Thea replied, concentrating on pouring the grounds. “That’s great. But how long do you think it’ll be before Hank can fly back?”

  “Not before the hotel shuts down on Saturday.”

  Thea grunted. “Good point. Where is it?”

  “Here!”

  Thea paused and looked down at her friend. “Here? At the Suinnak?”

  Miki clapped her hands, clearly excited. “I can put all of Hank’s stuff in the shed and you can use his room.”

  “Oh, Miki, I don’t know,” Thea hedged. “I don’t sleep very well. I would hate for my insomnia to-”

  “Pfft,” Miki said, waving away the protest. “I sleep so soundly a nuclear bomb could go off and I’d not hear it. I would love to have you, and this way you won’t have to worry about forking out any money for rent.”