The Money Moon: A Romance

by Jeffery Farnol

  CHAPTER XX

  _Which relates a most extraordinary conversation_

  In the days which now ensued, while Anthea was busied out of doors andMiss Priscilla was busied indoors, and Small Porges was diligentlyoccupied with his lessons,--at such times, Bellew would take his pipeand go to sit and smoke in company with the Cavalier in the greatpicture above the carved chimney-piece.

  A right jovial companion, at all times, was this Cavalier, an optimisthe, from the curling feather in his broad-brimmed beaver hat, to thespurs at his heels. Handsome, gay, and debonair was he, with lipsup-curving to a smile beneath his moustachio, and a quizzical light inhis grey eyes, very like that in Bellew's own. Moreover he wore theknowing, waggish air of one well versed in all the ways of the world,and mankind in general, and, (what is infinitely more),--of the SexFeminine, in particular. Experienced was he, beyond all doubt, in theirpretty tricks, and foibles, since he had ever been a diligent student ofFeminine Capriciousness when the "Merry Monarch" ruled the land.

  Hence, it became customary for Bellew to sit with him, and smoke, andtake counsel of this "preux chevalier" upon the unfortunate turn ofaffairs. Whereof ensued many remarkable conversations of which thefollowing, was one:

  BELLEW: No sir,--emphatically I do not agree with you. To be sure, youmay have had more experience than I, in such affairs,--but then, it wassuch a very long time ago.

  THE CAVALIER: (Interrupting, or seeming to)!!!

  BELLEW: Again, I beg to differ from you, women are not the same to-dayas they ever were. Judging by what I have read of the ladies of yourday, and King Charles's court at Whitehall,--I should say--not. Atleast, if they are, they act differently, and consequently mustbe--er--wooed differently. The methods employed in your day would bewholly inadequate and quite out of place, in this.

  THE CAVALIER: (Shaking his head and smirking,--or seeming to)!!!

  BELLEW: Well, I'm willing to bet you anything you like that if you wereto step down out of your frame, change your velvets and laces fortrousers and coat, leave off your great peruke, and wear a derby hatinstead of that picturesque, floppy affair, and try your fortune withsome Twentieth Century damsel, your high-sounding gallantries, andflattering phrases, would fall singularly flat, and you would bepromptly--turned down, sir.

  THE CAVALIER: (Tossing his love-locks,--or seeming to)!!!

  BELLEW: The "strong hand," you say? Hum! History tells us that Williamthe Conqueror wooed his lady with a club, or a battle-axe, or somethingof the sort, and she consequently liked him the better for it; which wasall very natural, and proper of course, in her case, seeing that herswas the day of battle-axes, and things. But then, as I said before,sir,--the times are sadly changed,--women may still admire strength ofbody, and even--occasionally--of mind, but the theory of "Dog, woman,and walnut tree" is quite obsolete.

  THE CAVALIER: (Frowning and shaking his head,--or seeming to)!!!

  BELLEW: Ha!--you don't believe me? Well, that is because you areobsolete, too;--yes sir, as obsolete as your hat, or your boots, or yourlong rapier. Now, for instance, suppose I were to ask your advice in myown case? You know precisely how the matter stands at present, betweenMiss Anthea and myself. You also know Miss Anthea personally, since youhave seen her much and often, and have watched her grow from childhoodinto--er--glorious womanhood,--I repeat sir glorious womanhood. Thus,you ought to know, and understand her far better than I,--for I doconfess she is a constant source of bewilderment to me. Now, since youdo know her so well,--what course should you adopt, were you inmy place?

  THE CAVALIER: (Smirking more knowingly than ever,--or seeming to)!!!

  BELLEW: Preposterous! Quite absurd!--and just what I might haveexpected. Carry her off, indeed! No no, we are not living in your bad,old, glorious days when a maid's "No" was generally taken to mean"Yes"--or when a lover might swing his reluctant mistress up to hissaddle-bow, and ride off with her, leaving the world far behind. To-dayit is all changed,--sadly changed. Your age was a wild age, a violentage, but in some respects, perhaps, a rather glorious age. Your adviceis singularly characteristic, and, of course, quite impossible,alas!--Carry her off, indeed!

  Hereupon, Bellew sighed, and turning away, lighted his pipe, which hadgone out, and buried himself in the newspaper.