Memoirs of a Garroter (Nevermore Bookshop Mysteries Book 4)

by Steffanie Holmes

  “Stop being so dramatic,” Heathcliff turned my head around. “It’s not as bad as you think.”

  “Last time I opened te door it smelled like something died in there—”

  I gasped. The once-grotty bathroom gleamed. Brand new marble tiles surrounded a beautiful roll-top copper bath and a pristine white basin. Fluffy cream towels hung from a copper rack, and a mattee-black storage cabinet in the corner held all sorts of delicious-looking bath products. Beside the basin was a skull-shaped toothbrush holder. It looked like a bathroom from a fancy hotel.

  “It’s amazing,” I breathed. “But in a week it will be filled with mould and spiders…”

  “Not if we stick to this,” Quoth pointed to a chore-chart stuck to the back of the bathroom door. On it was a colour-coded cleaning schedule. The guys had already filled in their names.

  Tears streamed down my cheeks as I embraced the guys. They’d done all this for me. For us. They were in this. How could I have ever doubted that they wouldn’t want to be part of my harem? They wanted what we had to last forever, just like I did.

  “I love you all so much,” I whispered.

  Heathcliff’s mouth found mine, hot and needy. His broad chest pressed against mine. Behind me, Morrie brushed his lips against my ear, raking his teeth over my skin until I reacted with a shiver. Quoth laid a trail of light, fluttering kisses along my neck as he slid down my top, exposing my shoulder. We crashed out of the bathroom collapsed onto my brand new bed, the springs groaning under our weight as they rolled me over and…

  Downstairs, the shop bell tingled.

  “Fuck off!” Heathcliff yelled. I clapped my hand over his mouth.

  I kissed them each in turn as I pulled down my top. “There’s plenty of time for this later. We have customers!”

  I bounded down the stairs, excited to see who had come in. Would it be someone trying to sell us a first edition Oscar Wilde, or another idiot confusing E. L. James and M. R. James? (not a mistake I’d want to make, personally.)

  “Welcome to Nevermore Bookshop,” I grinned as I rounded the staircase and spied a figure by the front door. “How can I help you today?”

  The figure turned. Instantly, I recognized the stoic, grizzled face of Inspector Hayes. Behind him, DS Wilson stepped around the corner. “Hi, Inspector Hayes, can I help you find a book? We’ve got a pretty impressive true crime section—”

  “I’m afraid I’m not here for a book, Mina.” Hayes nodded to Wilson, who held up a pair of handcuffs and slapped them gleefully over Morrie’s wrists. “We’re here to arrest James Moriarty on suspicion of murder.”

  TO BE CONTINUED

  A science nerd heroine gets more than she bargains for when she inherits a real English castle complete with great hall, turrets, and 5 hot English/Irish tenants. She also ends up with magical powers she can't control and a horde of fae with a bounty on her head. Read the complete Briarwood Witches series now.

  Can’t get enough of Mina and her boys? Read a free alternative scene from Quoth’s point-of-view when you sign up for the Steffanie Holmes VIP list.

  From the Author

  I hope you enjoyed this mystery with Mina and her harem. I have a lot of fun writing this series and coming up with new murders.

  The next murder mystery – Prose and Cons – is likely going to be finished around November 2019. I’m sorry for the delay, but I promise it’s for a good cause. My husband and I are celebrating ten years of marriage by returning to Wacken – the German heavy metal festival where we spent our honeymoon (we are NOT relaxing on the beach kind of people) – and we’re going on an adventure of our own through Eastern Europe. I’m conducting some important research for a new series that will be launching in January, as well as visiting some important sites related to Mina’s arch nemesis – Count Dracula.

  If you want to see some pictures from my travels and get fun updates about the series, then you can join my Facebook group Books That Bite or follow my Instagram.

  And if you need something to read while you wait, I’ve got you covered. Check out my Briarwood Witches series – it’s complete at 5 books, so that’s 400,000+ words about a science nerd heroine who inherits a real English castle complete with great hall, turrets, and 5 hot English/Irish tenants. She also inherits some magical powers she can't control (also, there is MM). Grab the collection with a bonus scene. Turn the page for a teaser.

  For something a little darker, try Shunned, book 1 of my Kings of Miskatonic Prep series. HP Lovecraft meets Cruel Intentions in a dark paranormal reverse harem bully romance about three broken bad boys and the girl who stood her ground. This is my most popular release EVER and readers are calling it, “The biggest mindfuck of 2019” so if you haven’t read it already, I suggest you give it a try!

  I’d like to thank my amazing family of writer buddies – aka, the Professional Pervets – for keeping me sane while finishing this book before my trip. Thanks Bri, Katya, Elaina, Kit, Jamie, and Emma for all the laughs and love.

  And a big shout out to my adventure buddies – Gronk, Olya, Amy, Tony, Allan, Ian, Lee, Chrissy, Eli, Bree, and my amazing cantankerous drummer husband. I can’t wait for European shenanigans with you!

  Until next time!

  Steffanie

  Want more reverse harem from Steffanie Holmes

  “Sizzling hot, sexy characters, and a plot filled with magic, mayhem, excitement, suspense, and fairies. Fantastic.” - Laure Eccleston

  “I love all the guys and this book is hot!” - Gilda Rodriguez

  “Maeve is feisty and no damsel in distress. I want more!” - Stephanie

  Dear Fae,

  Don't even THINK about attacking my castle.

  This science geek witch and her four magic-wielding men are about to get medieval on your ass.

  I’m Maeve Crawford. For years I’ve had my future mathematically calculated down to the last detail; Leave my podunk Arizona town, graduate MIT, get into the space program, be the first woman on Mars, get a cat (not necessarily in this order).

  Then fairies killed my parents and shot the whole plan to hell.

  I've inherited a real, honest-to-goodness English castle – complete with turrets, ramparts, and four gorgeous male tenants, who I'm totally not in love with.

  Not at all.

  It would be crazy to fall for four guys at once, even though they're totally gorgeous and amazing and wonderful and kind.

  But not as crazy as finding out I'm a witch. A week ago, I didn’t even believe magic existed, and now I’m up to my ears in spells and prophetic dreams and messages from the dead.

  When we're together – and I'm talking in the Biblical sense – the five of us wield a powerful magic that can banish the fae forever. They intend to stop us by killing us all.

  I can't science my way out of this mess.

  Forget NASA, it’s going to take all my smarts just to survive Briarwood Castle.

  The Castle of Earth and Embers is the first in a brand new steamy reverse harem romance by USA Today bestselling author, Steffanie Holmes. This full-length book glitters with love, heartache, hope, grief, dark magic, fairy trickery, steamy scenes, British slang, meat pies, second chances, and the healing powers of a good cup of tea. Read on only if you believe one just isn’t enough.

  Start The Briarwood Witches series today.

  Excerpt

  The Castle of Earth and Embers

  Rowan showed Maeve around the kitchen, pointing out the spice racks and explaining his stupidly complicated fridge-stacking system. Maeve listened attentively, and she didn’t laugh or poke fun of any of Rowan’s OCD tendencies. The tension slipped from his shoulders. She was affecting even him.

  “What are you making here?” Maeve peered into the baskets of produce and empty preserving jars on the island.

  Rowan’s face reddened and his shoulders hunched back up again. I winced. That didn’t last long. Maeve looked at Rowan’s face as his jaw locked. He stared at his feet and twirled the end of a dreadlock aroun
d his finger.

  “Rowan, is something wrong?” Maeve’s voice tightened with concern. She reached out a hand to him, but he stepped back, leaving her arm hanging in the air. The awkward tension in the air ratcheted up a notch.

  Time to save this situation. I stepped forward and grabbed Maeve’s arm, doing my best to ignore the tingle of energy that shot through me when our skin touched. I’d have to get used to ignoring it. I dragged her across the room.

  “This is really cool,” I said, opening a door at the back of the kitchen to reveal a narrow staircase. “This was installed when the castle was a grand stately home so the servants could rush meals up to the bedrooms without being seen in the main part of the house. It comes up near the staircase that goes up to your bedroom, so it’s a good shortcut down to the kitchen if you fancy a nightcap.”

  “Duly noted.” Maeve sashayed across the room and peered up the narrow staircase. “Are the bedrooms upstairs? Can I see?”

  At the word bedroom passing through her red, pursed lips, my cock tightened in protest. Don’t think about it. But that was like telling Obelix – the pudgy castle cat – not to think about all the delicious birds sitting in the tree outside the window.

  “Sure.” I gestured to the staircase. “After you.”

  Maeve started up the narrow steps, her gorgeous arse hovering inches from my face. I made to follow her, but something heavy slammed into my side, knocking me against the wall. I cursed as my elbow scraped against the rough stone of the wall.

  “Sorry mate,” Flynn flashed me his devil’s grin as he leapt past me and followed Maeve up the stairs. “I didn’t see you there.”

  “I believe you,” I mumbled as I followed them up. “Millions wouldn’t.”

  At the top of the stairs, Maeve pressed her hands against the wood panel. “How do you get this open?”

  Flynn tried to reach around her to unlock the clasp at the top of the door, but this time, I beat him to it. As I reached around Maeve, she turned slightly to press her back against the wall and her breasts brushed against my shirt, setting off a fire beneath my skin.

  Her lips formed an O of surprise, and I couldn’t help but mentally fill in that O with the shaft of my cock. I blinked, trying to stop thinking about her like that, trying to remember that it was the magic making me into this animal.

  The air between us thinned, and an invisible force drew my body forward, my arm brushing hers. A few inches more, and my lips would be pressed against hers—

  No. You can’t do this. You can’t encourage her to choose you.

  “Well, isn’t this intimate?” Flynn shimmied his way through the gap so that he had his back against the opposite wall, his hands falling against Maeve’s hips. If he wanted, he could slide her back so her arse rubbed against his cock, and even though that was totally cheating, I wouldn’t even blame him. I was cheating just as bad – my face in hers, my eyes begging for her touch. All I’d have to do was lean forward, press my lips to hers, and it would all be over…

  Want to find out what happens next – Start The Briarwood Witches series today.

  Other Books By Steffanie Holmes

  This list is in recommended reading order, although each couple’s story can be enjoyed as a standalone.

  Kings of Miskatonic Prep

  Shunned – READ NOW

  Initiated – READ NOW

  Possessed – Coming in Oct 2019

  Ignited – Coming in Nov 2019

  Nevermore Bookshop Mysteries

  A Dead and Stormy Night – READ NOW

  Of Mice and Murder – READ NOW

  Pride and Premeditation – READ NOW

  Memoirs of a Garroter – READ NOW

  Prose and Cons – Coming in Nov 2019

  Briarwood Reverse Harem series

  The Castle of Earth and Embers – READ NOW

  The Castle of Fire and Fable – READ NOW

  The Castle of Water and Woe – READ NOW

  The Castle of Wind and Whispers – READ NOW

  The Castle of Spirit and Sorrow – READ NOW

  Crookshollow Gothic Romance series

  Art of Cunning (Alex & Ryan) - READ NOW FOR FREE

  Art of the Hunt (Alex & Ryan) - READ NOW

  Art of Temptation (Alex & Ryan) - READ NOW

  The Man in Black (Elinor & Eric) - READ NOW

  Watcher (Belinda & Cole) - READ NOW

  Reaper (Belinda & Cole) - READ NOW

  Wolves of Crookshollow series

  Digging the Wolf (Anna & Luke) - READ NOW

  Writing the Wolf (Rosa & Caleb) - READ NOW

  Inking the Wolf (Bianca & Robbie) - READ NOW

  Wedding the Wolf (Willow & Irvine) - READ NOW

  Fallen Sorcery Fae (shared world)

  Hollow - READ NOW

  Witches of the Woods

  Witch Hunter - READ NOW

  Coven - READ NOW

  The Curse (coming in 2018)

  Want to be informed when the next Steffanie Holmes paranormal romance story goes live? Sign up for the VIP Readers Club to get the scoop, and score a free bonus prequel to enjoy!

  About the Author

  Steffanie Holmes is the author of steamy historical and paranormal romance. Her books feature clever, witty heroines, wild shifters, cunning witches and alpha males who always get what they want.

  Before becoming a writer, Steffanie worked as an archaeologist and museum curator. She loves to explore historical settings and ancient conceptions of love and possession. From Dark Age Europe to crumbling gothic estates, Steffanie is fascinated with how love can blossom between the most unlikely characters. She also writes dark fantasy / science fiction under S. C. Green.

  Steffanie lives in New Zealand with her husband and a horde of cantankerous cats.

  Steffanie Holmes VIP List

  Can’t get enough of Mina and her boys? Read a free alternative scene from Quoth’s point-of-view when you sign up for the Steffanie Holmes VIP list.

  Come hang with Steffanie

  www.steffmetal.com

  hello@steffanieholmes.com