Not According to Plan

by A. m Madden

  I focused on my business to escape my grief, and my brothers and I spent our free time supplying emotional support to our mom. Along with building my Manhattan gym into what it was today, the change in my path caused new dreams to form and those old dreams to fade with time.

  In hindsight, I really couldn’t regret it all that much, since I now had this flourishing business. But with each year that passed, I couldn’t forget my dream to have MAXimum Fitness mimicked in Miami.

  Besides the gym, with the baby coming, I’d be spending most of my time in Florida. Maybe I’d be ready to make the leap and move here permanently to grow some roots.

  My thoughts drifted to Jade for the first time since leaving New York earlier that day. She had made the decision for both of us that it would be only one night, and I couldn’t really argue it. Starting a relationship with her wouldn’t be smart at this point in my life, and she’d made it clear this wasn’t the right time for her, either.

  And that depressed me. I knew nothing about her, yet strangely enough, being with Jade for even such a short time felt familiar. The entire experience was weird…and smoking hot.

  In that bold, sexy move when she straddled me on that couch, feeding my hard cock into her warm pussy all while pinning me with her vulnerable gaze, made for an intriguing combination. Staring up into her big brown eyes as she rode me when she came had me releasing like a fucking fountain. I immediately wanted more, at least another round or two. And during those long motionless moments when neither of us attempted to disconnect our bodies, I could have sworn she felt the same.

  That was until she kicked me out.

  I had to stop myself from the urge to go back in and try to persuade her into one more time. Sure, it was the head below my waist responsible for that urge. The one above my shoulders had more of a “what the fuck just happened” attitude going on.

  There was just something about Jade that piqued my curiosity. She had intrigued me before we fucked and even more so after.

  On an impulse, I pulled up a florist’s website on my phone and ordered a dozen pale pink roses…the same color her cheeks would tinge when embarrassed…the same color of that sexy bra and G-string she’d been wearing.

  The arrangement would be delivered the next day with a card that simply read—

  Happy Birthday.

  Max

  No sooner had I confirmed the order than I was already second-guessing my decision. Who the hell sends flowers after a one-night stand?

  “Ah, fuck it,” I said out loud, my voice echoing in the cavernous space, mentally arguing with myself it was because of her birthday and not because I really wanted to repeat what we did last night.

  Chapter Six

  Jade

  Since my tryst with Max the night before, all day at work I had to force myself not to succumb to the memories of that man’s body and how he made my body feel.

  The way he never broke eye contact.

  The way his hands gripped my hips in desperation.

  The way he bit his bottom lip on a groan.

  The way he said my name as he came.

  The way I never had an orgasm so intense in my life.

  Yes, Max Navarro gifted me with the best sex I’d ever had…which was truly a pathetic realization for someone of my age.

  Sex was always good for me, satisfying. Equating my night with Max could be compared to when Amy convinced me that as a romance reader, I wasted my time on books with fade-to-black sex scenes. When I started reading her kind of erotic romance, I couldn’t believe what I’d been missing out on. There was a whole world of fictional foreplay that I could hold at my fingertips on my ereader, and it was hard to go back to the vanilla stuff now. Regardless, I separated that fictional world from real life. Such hotness was only make-believe.

  But after last night, I discovered it did exist—intense, toe-curling, heart-stopping, mind-blanking sex was out there.

  And now that I knew that, I felt slighted it took me so long to experience it.

  Come Saturday, I’d been proud of myself when most of the day went by before I thought of him. And then…a gorgeous bouquet of pink roses was delivered to my apartment.

  The smile on my face grew when I pulled out the tiny card to read:

  Happy Birthday.

  Max

  Surprised he went to such effort, a tiny nagging reminded me yet again that now wasn’t the time to go gaga over a man. But as I leaned in to smell the flowers’ fragrant aroma, the warmth spreading inside my chest contradicted my logic. After plucking one of the roses from the vase, I took it to my bedroom, pressing it to my nose, suspecting, whether I liked it or not, a sexy gym owner would monopolize my dreams.

  On a whim, I stopped by his gym the next day to thank him.

  A blue-haired receptionist, who looked like she could kick the shit out of me with little effort, explained Max was away on business and wouldn’t be back until the following weekend. Ignoring the prick of disappointment, I asked for a piece of paper and pen, wrote out a bland thank-you note, and asked her to pass it along to him when he returned.

  That was six weeks ago.

  I had only blinked and July was half over. It wasn’t unusual for weeks to fly by unseen when my workload kicked my ass. I’d be lying if I said not hearing from him bothered me a bit, until I reminded myself that was the universe keeping me on track with my professional goals. The light at the end of the tunnel was near—making junior partner.

  I wanted that promotion so badly I could taste it.

  It was what had me running like a machine. It was the reason for the many restless nights, which resulted in exhaustion like I’d never felt in my life. It was why I forced myself to forget that hot, delicious night I had with Max.

  Sure, I thought of him every now and again. Mostly when the office was quiet, like it was now. I may have denied myself of more sex with Max, but at least I could relish in the memory of it.

  With a sigh, I saved the file I had been working on and made my way home. At that hour, my commute was terrible. Around eight p.m., I walked into my apartment to find Amy on the couch, looking much like I felt.

  “Hey, are you sick?” I asked with a toss of my keys into our key bowl and dropping my workbag near the door.

  “Ugh,” she groaned. “Killer cramps.”

  “Sorry.”

  I headed for the fridge to grab anything that was quick and easy so I could get into a hot bath ASAFP—as soon as fucking possible—but options were limited. Because even grocery shopping was hard to squeeze into my schedule. I settled on an apple before pouring myself a glass of wine.

  “Did you eat?” I asked Amy, settling in the cozy chair near the couch. “Do you want me to fix you something? I could make you a…um…”

  “As appetizing as ‘ah um’ sounds, I’m not hungry. How was your day?”

  I swallowed a tart bite of apple. “The worst. That damn meeting was canceled at the last minute.”

  When Amy groaned, I suspected it had nothing to do with her cramps. “God, your job sounds awful.”

  “Being in estate law has its moments. Like winning a case in favor of a family who didn’t deserve additional grief during such a sorrowful time in their lives. That burst of compassion I experience is enough to carry me through all the not-so-wonderful parts of my job.”

  “If you say so.” Amy’s eyes slid shut as she asked, “Can you grab me a bottle of water? I need to take more pills.”

  “Sure.” My friend having her friend meant I wasn’t far behind. We tended to get our monthly visits around the same time, making us a delight to be around, I was sure. I got her the water then headed for my room to finish my pathetic meal.

  Once I stripped out of my suit and heels, before starting my bath, I quickly flipped through my calendar to see when to expect my period.

  And my heart stoppe
d. It should have come by now.

  “No,” I said to no one. “I can’t be…” I recounted the days that had passed on my fingers a few times, coming up with the same conclusion each time.

  I was a week late.

  …

  “Jade,” the nurse called as she stepped into the waiting room.

  While trying to keep my knees from buckling, I robotically followed her down the hall, moving through the routine weigh-in before entering an exam room.

  She shut the door. “Why are you here today, Jade?”

  “I’m late.” This can’t be happening, I mentally repeated for the hundredth time.

  She nodded and scanned the paperwork on her clipboard. “It says here your last period was the twenty-sixth of May. You haven’t menstruated since?” The woman had less warmth than the wall behind her.

  I wanted to say, obviously, but instead muttered, “No. And I’ve never had an irregular cycle.”

  “Okay, can you give me a urine sample?” She opened a cabinet and pulled out a plastic cup. With a casual wave of her arm, she sent me into the bathroom with it, like the possibility that my world could be shaken to its core wasn’t a valid one.

  A baby. How could I juggle my demanding job and a baby?

  The closer I came to learning the truth, the more panic clawed its way through me, leaving my insides feeling like I digested nails.

  A few minutes later, I reappeared, fighting nausea, because deep down I knew this possibility was inevitable. “I left it on the counter,” I told the nurse.

  Wordlessly, she pulled out a paper gown and plopped it onto the exam table. “Please undress from your waist down. Dr. Laramie will be in shortly.”

  I followed her directions and then waited in my flimsy attire, of which the hem was now wrinkled and torn from my white-knuckled grip. Without my phone, without a clock on the wall, the minutes stretched like hours, and the only magazines in the rack mounted to the wall catered to mothers.

  Hell. That might be me.

  With a shaky hand, I reached for one and flipped through it page by page. Each new article caused the tremors I battled to intensify, moisture to dampen my skin, and goose bumps to spread. So I slammed it shut.

  “This can’t be happening,” I mumbled to myself just as Dr. Laramie entered.

  “Hello, Jade. How are you today?” she asked, closing the door with a firm click.

  With flawless brown skin, beaded braids, and a bright, colorful blouse beneath her white lab coat, at first glance some might think she looked too young to be a doctor, but her easy disposition always calmed me. Today, though, the warm smile on her face failed to put me at ease.

  “I’m okay.” Lie. I’m freaking out. Tears threatened, forcing me to look away as I held them back. “Actually, I’m really nervous,” I admitted, staring at the floor.

  “Jade.” When I looked up, her features had softened. “I understand, but it’ll all be okay.”

  That was easy for her to say.

  She flipped through my chart to make some notes and then turned toward me, keeping the comforting expression on her face. “It seems your HCG levels are indeed elevated.”

  My already frazzled nerves spiked a sharp ache deep in my gut. I knew enough about basic medical terminology to know that meant out of the ordinary. “So, I am pregnant?” My voice came out barely above a whisper. People who only knew me as a confident, commanding lawyer wouldn’t even recognize me now.

  “I’ll do a pelvic exam and take a blood test to confirm, but yes, it seems you are pregnant.”

  “I don’t understand. We used a condom.” The tears escaped now, and I swiped them away in a weak effort to compose myself. “I know that’s not one hundred percent effective, but still.” Regret over not taking another form of birth control smacked me on the back of the head. But why take pills or shots or have procedures done to prevent pregnancy when sex wasn’t a common occurrence in my life?

  “No, they aren’t foolproof, unfortunately.” Dr. Laramie must have had pity on me when she came over to place a supportive hand on my shoulder. “Let me examine you, and then I’ll answer any questions you have.”

  I had only one.

  How do I tell him?

  Somehow, I managed to get back to my office. Based on my pale skin, the sheen lining my temples from cold sweats, and a dazed expression, my coworkers assumed I had come down with something and insisted I go home to rest.

  Once in my apartment, I spent the rest of the afternoon and most of the evening sitting on my couch, staring into space, wracked with continuing bouts of nausea and body shakes. In fact, since leaving the doctor’s office, my body felt like the flu had indeed hit…or a bus.

  Amy walked in, took one look at me, and said, “What happened to you?”

  “I’m pregnant.” Even saying it out loud, I still couldn’t believe it.

  First her jaw hit the floor, and then her handbag followed. “How?”

  “Really?” I asked sarcastically.

  “You know what I mean. Didn’t you use a condom?”

  “Of course we used a condom. Do you think I’m the type of person who would fuck a stranger without a condom!”

  Unfazed by my outburst, she said, “How are you sure? Did you take a test? A missed period doesn’t necessarily mean…”

  “I went to the doctor today. They took a urine test, did an exam, and took a blood test. The urine test was positive, and the results of the blood test will be in tomorrow, but it’s just a formality to confirm. I’m pregnant.” Bile rose when my reality hit me again for the thousandth time since leaving Dr. Laramie’s office.

  Amy sat beside me, put on a brave face, and smiled. “Jade, this isn’t the end of the world.”

  Yes, it was.

  In the form of a baby.

  From a one-night stand.

  My head landed on the couch behind me with a despairing thump. “Ugh.”

  Amy reached over and took my hand. If I hadn’t seen her hand over mine, I wouldn’t have known it was there. My skin felt as though I’d received some kind of local anesthetic. In fact, every part of me felt numb, except for my heart, which pounded in my chest as a painful reminder I was on the verge of panic.

  “I feel like this is all my fault,” she said, wrapping her other hand around the ones already entwined.

  “This isn’t your fault, Amy.”

  “I’m the one that forced you to hook up with Max. I’m so sorry, Jade.”

  “Stop it. I’m an adult. I take full responsibility for my own actions.”

  “Do you regret it?”

  Even with how my life had taken a hairpin turn today, could I regret my time with Max? “I don’t know,” I answered truthfully, pausing with a sigh. “I need to really think this through. I’ll have to move out—”

  “Whoa, move out? Why?”

  I gawked at her in disbelief. “Where would I be putting a baby in this little apartment?”

  “Aren’t babies like”—she positioned her hands about a foot apart—“this big?”

  “Yeah, for like two months. They do tend to grow up, Aim. And as they do, they need special furniture, tons of supplies, toys, bottles, monitors, carriages, carriers, highchairs for each stage of their lives—”

  “Okay, I get it,” she interrupted. “But how about we worry about it growing up after the munchkin arrives?” She squeezed my hand and plastered a bright smile on her face. “It’ll all be fine, Jade. What happened was not according to plan, but you have me, and your family, and even Max. Does he know yet?”

  “No.” The thought of telling him terrified me, slicing across my throat like a razor blade. It happened, and I’d deal with it. And if Max weren’t the kind of amazing man that I had gotten a glimpse of, I’d be okay handling this on my own as a single mother. But I knew once he knew about the baby—about his baby—
he wouldn’t walk away. Not knowing how he’d feel about me was what freaked me out, along with not having control of the situation. A persistent tear swelled and then fell, and I used my free hand to wipe my cheek. “He’s going to hate me, Amy.”

  “Aw, sweetie.” She pulled me against her with a firm, comforting squeeze. “He’s not going to hate you.”

  Maybe not…but he would resent me.

  Chapter Seven

  Jade

  It was sad how useless at living I became since getting my news. I was fully aware hiding in my apartment like a coward for the past few days wasn’t the most mature thing to do. Keeping up with my paperwork at home in order to keep the avalanche from destroying me once I returned to the office became my sole focus. Unfortunately, my determination was futile when my mind wouldn’t concentrate.

  During the past forty-eight hours, all the stages of befuddlement I moved through had mimicked the worst kind of flu. Therefore, lying to my boss on how sick I felt turned out to be true, after all.

  Besides the obvious angst over becoming a single mother, the probable outcome of doing so alone while juggling a very demanding career consumed me. I worried Max would forever resent me over this bomb that would soon detonate in his life.

  Shit, getting this news was such bad timing. My parents’ thirtieth anniversary dinner was tomorrow, and I dreaded seeing them while lying through omission. The “flu” I suffered from could get me out of the party altogether, but guilt over missing such a profound event in my family’s life superseded that selfishness.

  I’d worry about all that later, because I had a much more pressing matter to handle first. I searched for the number to Max’s gym on my phone and then tapped it to call. With each ring, my heart pounded harder. After asking for him, and then a torturous wait on hold, his sexy voice filtered through my cell.

  “Hey, there,” he said, like he was happy to hear from me, and my gut clenched. “How are you?”