Not According to Plan

by A. m Madden

  “It doesn’t have to be more than two people raising a baby together.”

  “It doesn’t have to be so boring, either.” Brad’s gaze flicked upward impatiently. “You still dig her, right?”

  The raise of my eyebrows gave him a silent duh.

  “So hang out. I’m not saying put a ring on it. Have some fun, and then if things don’t work out, then go with your original plan and be a dad with no strings tied to the mother. Shit happens.”

  “Shit happens?” I gawked at him for a few seconds. Between my two brothers, Nate would normally be the one I went to for advice. With him working around the clock, though, and out of the country the past few weeks, Brad probably felt obligated to step in.

  “Not the end of the world, dude. Life will go on, you’ll have your two kids, and you’ll still have your flourishing businesses. Some would think you’re blessed.”

  “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “It doesn’t have to be.”

  “Really?” I countered, staring at him, dumbfounded. “Two kids with two different women, in two different states, neither of which I’m in a relationship with, nor do either of them know of the other. I’d say that’s pretty fucking complicated.” In fact, the more I thought about it, the more my situation was a cluster fuck of epic proportions.

  The thought of having to tell each of them about the other had me feeling like a man-whore, which couldn’t be farther from the person I actually was. This predicament was more in line with Brad’s lifestyle than mine.

  “Look at the upside,” he said, grinning. “Those kids are going to have me as an uncle. Granted, they’re stuck with Nate, too, but he can teach them the academic shit, and I’ll teach them how to have fun. How lucky are they?” Brad paused for a moment, and then it was like a lightbulb must have flicked on in his brain, because he raised a hand with a sly smirk. “I’m telling you…a reality show called—MAXimum Dad. The millennial demographic would eat that shit up.”

  “Yes, that’s exactly why I knocked up two women at the same time. To become the next reality star.” Despite shaking my head at his ridiculousness, I laughed. “Asshole.”

  While in the cab, after leaving Brad’s, part of me wanted to head over to Jade’s place. But it was late, so I reluctantly went home instead.

  And I lasted a whole two minutes before I tapped her name in my phone contacts.

  “Max?” Her drowsy voice filtered over the line. The rasp beneath it called to a desire that manifested itself in a thrum deep within me.

  “I’m sorry, were you sleeping?”

  “No, just resting. I got home a little while ago from my parents’ anniversary party. Are you okay? This is late for a call…”

  “Yes, I’m okay. I just wanted to see how you’re doing, see if you needed anything.”

  The sweetest sigh filtered over the phone, and my tension eased a bit. “You’re so thoughtful, Max,” she said. “Thank you, I’m fine.”

  “Good, good. Did you have a nice time at the party?”

  “I tried. It was hard keeping my secret, though. My family is very close. But it was nice to see my parents having fun. They were so surprised and thrilled to see everyone.”

  “That’s great.” We both grew quiet for a moment. Now that I had her on the phone, and our conversation felt so easy and natural, I struggled between letting her go and keeping her connected. Of course, I wanted to talk to her as long as possible, all night if I could, but she needed to rest. Before we ended this call, though, I had to be sure she was really okay. “How are you feeling?”

  “Honestly? Much better now that, you know…I was so nervous to tell you.”

  “Why?” Did she think I’d be angry at her news?

  “Because you don’t deserve this, Max.”

  Her response shocked me even more than her admission.

  “I don’t deserve…?” I left my question hanging.

  “The stress over having a child with a stranger. You can’t deny this is a complicated situation. An unexpected burden. So”—she cleared her throat, as if trying to keep her emotions in check—“I would understand if you regret meeting me.”

  “I do not regret meeting you,” I said automatically, because that was the absolute truth. “That was the best night I’d had with anyone in a very long time.” And I wouldn’t mind a repeat or several. But maybe I was the only one who wanted that. “Are…you…having regrets?”

  “No,” she admitted. “But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about how this will work. We barely know each other, Max. What’s the plan?”

  Good question. Except I had no answer for her. For now, I settled on, “We’ll figure it out.”

  Just take what life throws at you and do the best you can. That’s the only thing that worked. It got me through the aftermath of my dad’s death. It would get me through this, too.

  “That’s hardly a plan, but…” She dragged in an audible breath then let out a massive yawn. “Anyway. We can talk about details another time. It’s late, and I’m tired.”

  Just like that, my opportunity had fled. It was time to let her go. “Get some rest. Good night, Jade.”

  “Good night, Max,” she said through another yawn.

  The moment the call ended, I instantly regretted not telling her about Tracey and that I had planned to move to Miami in a few months, and “figuring it out” was way more complicated than she was already worried about. Wondering how and when I’d drop that bomb made for a very restless sleep.

  Chapter Ten

  Max

  I had just gotten to the gym with a strong coffee in hand when I received a text.

  Tracey: Hey…just checking in. How are you?

  Remorse hit hard over not checking in with her more frequently over the last few weeks. I had dinner with her during my last trip to Miami, but besides a few calls and texts since then, I really hadn’t been a great friend. Or soon-to-be father.

  Part of the reason was how involved she was with Tristan. Using the excuse to give them space, and not wanting to remind him I was the man who knocked up his girlfriend just before he came into her life, I kept my distance.

  But now, with my new news, a call was absolutely necessary. Just as I needed to tell Jade, I also needed to tell Tracey.

  I had no idea what would happen in the upcoming months, but I suspected between my professional life and my impending fatherhood-times-two, I’d have little time for anything else.

  Me: Hey, Trace. I’m good. Can I call?

  Tracey: Yep. I can talk.

  Deciding to FaceTime instead, I tapped her contact and waited for her to answer. I smiled as her pretty face appeared. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” I said. “How are you feeling?”

  “Good. Tired, but good.” I first took a good look at her. Gone was the vibrancy that normally had her brown skin glowing. Even the way her braids were piled on her head in a haphazard bun, combined with the tiredness visible in her dark brown eyes, confirmed as much. But the sweet smile on her face was all Tracey. “I’m showing now, Max.” The phone shifted down to display her adorable little bump.

  That was my kid in there. Holy shit, this was happening.

  “You look fantastic.” I waited for her to lift her cell back to her face and then asked, “Can you send me the dates for your upcoming doctor appointments? I’d like to go to one with you the next time I’m there, if I can arrange a trip at the right time.” Sadly, I hadn’t been to the doctor with her since learning of the baby. Besides the obvious geographical obstacles, it was also out of respect for Tristan. Yes, that was my baby, but from the looks of things, he and Tracey had a future together. Tristan would be around my child more than I would, and he had every right to support the baby’s mother.

  “Of course,” Tracey said. “You can come whenever you want. I’ll send you the schedule.” />
  “Thank you.” I paused then took a breath as it all sank in. “It’s going fast, Tracey. Are you ready?”

  “Yes and no. Getting there. At least the nursery is painted.”

  Nursery. Fuck. In my case nurseries, plural. I still needed to set one up at each of my places for when the baby—babies—stayed with me. I’d been so busy with the gyms, I hadn’t had time, but I couldn’t put it off much longer. And that was only the beginning…

  A brief jolt of panic hit me square in the chest. After learning Tracey was pregnant, come December I had decided to spend most of my time in Miami, getting the gym ready to open and then up and running while being near my child. Living in Florida had been a dream for so long, and it finally had been within reach.

  But now, I had no idea what would happen. I couldn’t leave Jade alone right before her due date. Tracey at least had Tristan by her side to help. Jade had only me.

  “I meant are you ready to be a mother?” I clarified.

  “Emotionally, I’m in no way ready,” she admitted with a laugh. “I’m nervous. Tristan has been great. But there’s so much to worry about. So much foreign territory ahead.”

  Wasn’t that the truth? But forcing myself to remain positive, I said, “Everything will be fine. You have Tristan, your family, mine, and I’m here for you, Trace…and for the baby.”

  “I know you are.”

  Except that didn’t feel like enough. I wished I could do more for her. “How are things going with Tristan, still good?” I asked, redirecting my thoughts.

  “Great,” she said through an immediate smile. “He’s been so awesome and can’t wait to meet you. How about you? Seeing anyone?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Not exactly?” A frown puckered her forehead. “That doesn’t sound convincing.”

  “I have met someone,” I admitted, “but our schedules make it difficult. We’ll see.”

  “If you like her, then find the time,” Tracey said and then laughed at the raise of my brows. “I know, easier said than done. But if you found someone who can put that look on your face, then it’s worth working for it, Max. Better to have her in your life in any capacity than not at all.”

  “Well, it turns out Jade will be in my life.” Tracey waited for me to explain. “She’s pregnant.” Predictably, her mouth hung open in shock. “Yeah, I know.”

  “I…wow. I don’t know what to say.”

  “I supposed hearing that the father of your child was also having another could make anyone speechless.”

  “I’m fine. I…I just didn’t expect that.”

  “You and me both.”

  “How are you handling it?”

  With Tracey, I could openly share my fears and know I wouldn’t be judged. “In a nutshell, confused and scared shitless. I mean…I’m beyond blessed to be having two babies with two amazing women. But I’m not in a committed relationship with either of you, and you’re in separate states. Time spent with my kids will be scheduled and limited. What kind of a father can I really be to them? They deserve better than this.”

  “First off, we’re a few states away. It’s not like one of us lives in Australia. What matters most is both will have mothers who love them and a father who does as well. Max, your kids will be lucky to have you as their dad. There are blended families, nuclear families, divorced families, single parent, extended, the list goes on, and many kids have very healthy upbringings in each and every one of those situations.”

  I allowed a moment to let that sink in. Deep down, I think I’d known she would be okay with the news. Not only okay with it, but also supportive. We’d been friends for so long we’d always have each other’s backs. Why would this be any different? “Thanks, Trace. I needed to hear that.”

  “It’s the god’s honest truth. We’ll all make it work. And I can’t wait to meet Jade someday soon and that baby she’s carrying as well. They’ll be siblings, after all.”

  “You’re a gem.”

  “Aww, I know.” A giggle brightened her expression before she said, “I gotta go. I’ll text you those dates. Love you, my friend.”

  “Love you, too.”

  After I closed up the gym, I went for a long drive to clear my head. When an hour or so went by without success, I drove toward Brad’s bar on autopilot. So lost in thought, somehow, I managed to get there without totaling my car.

  Normally, I’d avoid my brother’s place of business on weekends, hating the sports-watching crowd, but there I was popping in for the second time in as many days.

  The humid summer air felt suffocating during my short walk, but once through the doors into the noisy tavern, I further regretted my decision. It was so hot, noisy, and mobbed, the cool quiet of my apartment beckoned me home with each step I took.

  Hanging out in bars wasn’t my thing. Massive TVs strategically mounted in each corner were all tuned in to the Yankees playing the Red Sox, making the noise inside deafening.

  These people laughing around me seemed ignorant to how things could change in their lives on the turn of a dime…for example, in the form of a pregnancy or two.

  With no barstools available, I waited in a sliver of space at the far end, hoping someone would get up, and soon. I watched Brad flirting with a smiling blonde until his eyes caught mine. He said something to her, filled a glass with beer, and walked to my end of the bar.

  “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your presence again?” my brother asked as he handed me the brew.

  I accepted and shook my head at his question. “I have no clue.”

  “Excuse me, can I get a white wine?” someone called.

  “Don’t move.” As he moved away to help another customer, the couple sitting beside me vacated. I sat on the stool, staring into my beer, trying to make sense of my life.

  When a firm hand clamped my shoulder, I realized Nate had plopped down on the stool beside me. “What the hell are you doing here? Why aren’t you home in your fortress, avoiding people who like having fun?”

  “Shut it. I needed a drink.”

  “In here?” he asked, an amused smirk on his face. “You despise this place when there’s a game on.”

  “Yeah, well, temporary insanity. How was Greece?”

  “Amazing.” He spent a few minutes telling me about his trip. A wealthy client Nate represented in his divorce had remarried on a yacht anchored in Santorini. “You need to go, bro. I’ve never seen water so blue.”

  “Someday,” I said. “What did you do on your off time?”

  “I saw everything. Ate my weight in Greek food. Best trip.” It sounded lonely to me, but Nate never needed anyone to enjoy life. “So, what’s going on with you?”

  “Isn’t that a loaded question?” I quipped without thinking.

  “You okay?” he quickly asked.

  “Long story.”

  At that moment, Brad came back, slinging a dishtowel over his shoulder. Typically, the females in the vicinity began giggling and whispering at seeing the three of us in one location. Ignoring it, Brad said, “Did you tell him?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Tell me what?”

  I held Nate’s gaze, but the words caught in my throat. Brad took my silence as an opportunity to blurt out, “We’re going to be uncles again.”

  Nate’s expression mirrored Brad’s from when I told him, and it had nothing to do with our likenesses.

  “Say what?” Nate said. “What do you mean ‘again?’ Tracey is having twins?”

  “Nope. Tracey is having one baby, and Jade is having one baby, as far as we know.” Brad smacked the bar and grinned. “Hey, could you imagine if they each had multiples growing in there?”

  When I said, “Oh my God, shut the fuck up,” the bastard cracked up.

  When Nate then said, “Who the fuck is Jade?” Brad lost his shit all over again.<
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  “Someone I met.”

  “How did you meet?”

  The grin on Brad’s face caused a scowl on mine. “Jade is the beauty I rigged him to meet at my bar on Kismet Karaoke Night. He needed to get laid, dude.”

  “So, this is actually your fault?” Nate accused with an eye roll and sigh before turning back to me. “And you slept with her that night?”

  “Yeah,” I said like a child being scolded. Predictably, my brother, always the counselor, listened intently as I explained the chain of events that led to where Jade and I were now. Once done, his silence continued to stretch. “Say something,” I prodded.

  “How well do you know this woman?”

  The question should have irritated me, but I couldn’t blame him for playing devil’s advocate. “Well enough,” I said, knowing it was a weak explanation.

  “Great answer,” he grumbled, shaking his head. “Shit, I leave you two for a few weeks and all hell breaks loose. I’d expect this from him,” he accused, thrusting a thumb at Brad. “Not from you.”

  “Fuck off.” Brad flipped him the bird.

  “So. Baby one is due in late November.” Nate’s brow furrowed. “And baby two?”

  “March,” I muttered, looking down at the beer I had barely touched while my stomach churned.

  “Wow. Baby in November, opening Miami location in February, baby in March…you’re going to be quite busy.” Nate laughed at the “duh” look on my face and added, “Well, at least they won’t be in the same school year.”

  “Ha ha.”

  “Hey, I have a stupid question,” Brad said. “Did you use condoms?”

  “Of course I did.”

  “Gold Shields?”

  “Yeah. What’s your point?”

  “Dude, there was a massive recall on them. It was all over the news.”

  My gaze flicked to Nate. “Is he shitting me?”

  “Afraid not. You didn’t know?”

  “What the fuck? Cars get recalled, not fucking condoms. Don’t they realize they’re playing with people’s lives?”

  “Yeah. Thus, the recall,” Brad offered with a chuckle. “Obviously, you don’t have sex enough to keep on top of these things.”