Beautiful Mistakes: Contemporary Romance Boxset Books 1-4

by Victoria Snow

  19

  Sebastian

  It was harder than ever golf with Henry knowing the debauched things I’d done to his daughter. Worse yet was that my intentions weren’t pure. I wanted her body, not her heart. Not that I didn’t care about her, because I did. More than I probably should, but my life path was set, and it didn’t include marriage or family. I’d tried that with Valerie, and it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I felt as fulfilled now as I had when I was with her, a sure sign that our marriage didn’t enhance my life.

  I grieved for her when she died. I still did. She was a smart ambitious woman. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit relieved that she wasn’t in my life anymore. I much preferred my independence. Especially since marriage didn’t really provide the emotional benefits everyone gushed about.

  I could see in Leah’s eyes that she wished I was different. For that reason, I shouldn’t have been seeing her anymore. But god help me, I couldn’t quit her. I’d decided she’d be gone soon enough and so why not indulge in her as much as I could? As long as she was willing and accepted the terms, why not?

  “I tell you, Sebastian, it was such a relief to have Leah finally meet Karen.”

  I walked with Henry on the fourth fairway toward the green. “So, it went well?” I figured it would. Leah seemed supportive of the idea that her father get back into the dating world.

  “It did. They seemed to really like each other.” Henry’s brows furrowed. “Is it weird that Leah is closer in age to Karen than I am?”

  Good god, if he thought that, I could only imagine what he’d think about my being with his daughter. “It’s not weird to me. Is it weird to them?”

  He shook his head. “It doesn’t seem to be.”

  “I suspect that as long as you’re happy, Leah is happy for you.”

  “I am happy. Christ, Sebastian, I never thought I’d be happy again after my wife died. I certainly never thought I’d be with another woman, at least emotionally, you know?”

  I nodded, even though my situation had been different from his.

  “I forgot what it’s like to crave a woman.”

  I lifted a brow. “I think that’s called lust, Henry. Most men have it.”

  Henry laughed. “Yeah, well, that part is there too. Jesus, don’t tell Leah that. She’ll think her old man is a pervert.”

  “Your secret is safe with me.” Turned out I was able to keep a lot of sexual secrets where the Hammond family was concerned.

  “It’s more than that, though. For a long time, I kept telling myself to stay away. I didn’t want any emotional attachments. I thought if I avoided her, that need in my gut would go away.”

  I frowned, because that I did understand.

  “Then I gave into it thinking if I did, I’d get it out of my system.”

  “It didn’t work?”

  “Hell no. The more time I spent with her, the more I wanted her. And I don’t just mean in bed, although that part is… well, we won’t go there.”

  “I understand.” Henry and I never spoke of our sex lives, although he didn’t have much of one until now, and I’m sure he didn’t approve of mine. I knew he wouldn’t approve of what I was doing to Leah.

  “Anyway, I finally accepted that my heart wanted… no… needed her.”

  “So, you gave in?”

  He nodded. “It was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. It wasn’t like that with Leah’s mother. When I met and fell in love with her, I was young and cocky. I didn’t worry about the ramifications.”

  “You mean Leah?”

  He seesawed his head. “Yes, although Leah has been encouraging me to date for some time. Mostly I worried about looking like a fool. She is much younger than me. Then I worried that I’d get hurt. I suppose a part of me thought I wasn’t good enough.”

  I stopped short. “Henry, you’re the best man I know.”

  He smiled and patted me on the back. “You’re a good friend, Sebastian.” Then he shrugged. “Insecurity is a bitch, though.”

  We reached his ball, and I moved out of the way so he could take his shot. As he did, his words ran through my mind. He’d tried to avoid his new girlfriend, and later thought if he gave in, the cravings would stop. But they hadn’t. Wasn’t that what I was thinking with Leah?

  Like Henry, the more time I spent with Leah, the more I wanted her. And not just sexually, if I was honest with myself. I enjoyed talking with her. I loved seeing how her mind worked when doing a business project. If I was honest, I liked how she challenged my bullshit. Valerie had done that but often I came away feeling inept. When Leah did it, I felt more enlightened.

  Fuck, was I developing feelings for her? I knew I cared for her, but was I falling for her? Jesus that would be a fucking disaster, and yet, my heart did a little dance in my chest at the thought. I’d given up on the idea of love and marriage because Valerie had shown me that fairy tales were myths. But Leah was nothing like Valerie. Yes, she was as smart, and even ambitious, but she had compassion and tact, something Valerie had severely lacked. More than that, Leah’s heart was full of love and a need to give it away. I knew she wanted to give it to me, but I was too much of a coward to accept it.

  Henry’s ball dropped into the hole and he turned to me. “I do believe that’s a birdie. My luck is good. Let’s hope it holds, as I’m seeing Karen tonight.”

  I snorted. “TMI, Henry.”

  “Oh, come on, Sebastian. You peddle in sex; you can’t say I’ve embarrassed you.”

  I laughed. “Nope. In fact, if you want any toys to enhance your time with Karen, let me know. I can get you a good deal.”

  Henry’s face turned red. “You’re right, TMI.”

  I walked up to my ball, and in two strokes, I had it in the hole. “Par for me.”

  “Your luck will improve, Sebastian.”

  We walked to the next tee and hit our shots.

  As we headed up the fairway toward our balls, Henry asked, “Are you still dead set against ever marrying again?”

  “So, you’re going to marry Karen?”

  “I don’t know about that, but this isn’t only a fling.”

  “She’s young enough to want children. Is that something you’d want?”

  “I’m still young enough to give them to her. We’re not there yet, but I’ve given up trying let my mind dictate my heart. I’m giving it free rein.”

  My heart clenched in my chest. I couldn’t imagine being that vulnerable. “You’re the bravest man I know, Henry.”

  “It’s scary as shit, I’ll admit, but Karen is a good woman. And I want this. I didn’t realize it before, but I like being a part of something. That’s the key, I think. Find someone you can trust, someone that wants to be a partner in life, that shares your goals.”

  Valerie and I had that, except our shared goals were centered on business and sex. I knew Henry was talking about something deeper.

  “You’re lucky to have another chance.”

  “I think we can all have another chance if we’re brave enough to take it. Leah is young and has time, but she’s so focused on getting her career. She doesn’t spend hardly any time in her personal life. I worry, that she’ll end up not having somebody who loves her.”

  I swallowed hard. “Leah is a fantastic woman. When she’s ready, I doubt she’ll have any trouble finding someone to love her.” The thought of a man, loving her body made my blood boil. The idea that she’d give her love to someone, wholeheartedly, as I knew she would, made me insanely jealous. Jesus, I wanted that man to be me. The problem was, I wasn’t as brave as Henry. In my defense, I had more to lose than Henry did. I could lose control of my company. I’d lose Henry as a friend. What I feared most was losing myself.

  “Earth to Sebastian.”

  I shook my head to rid them of my whirling thoughts. “Sorry.”

  “You’re more on the game today than last time, but you still seem out of sorts. Anything up?”

  I shook my head. “Just a lot going on at wo
rk.”

  “You never answered my question about whether you were still a committed bachelor.”

  “I like my life, Henry.”

  “You never feel lonely at night?”

  Yes, I did. When Leah wasn’t there. “No.”

  “Toys can only do so much.”

  “Right now, they do enough.” I found my ball and set up for my shot. I hit the ball and hoped that the way it curved didn’t mean it ended up in the woods.

  “You deserve to be happy, Sebastian. I hate to speak ill of your marriage, but from what you’ve said about it, I’m not sure she really loved you in the way my wife or even Karen loves me.”

  I gritted my teeth. “I’m sure I didn’t love her that way as well.” I walked up the fairway ahead of Henry, not wanting to talk anymore about love and relationships.

  “Well if that’s the case, I feel sorry for you.”

  “I don’t want your need your pity, Henry.”

  “No. Clearly you don’t. But there’s nothing better than the total and complete connection… soul to soul… between a man and woman. I wish that for you.”

  The way my heart rolled in my chest suggested it wished for that too.

  “Promise me that if you ever meet a woman that does more than give you a hard on, you’ll be open to an emotional relationship. You’ll be a better man in life and business for it.”

  I had an urge to tell him that his daughter stimulated my dick and my emotions just to make him back off on this topic. I was surprised when I said, “I promise.”

  The following week, Leah and I continued as usual. But her father’s comments were never far from my mind. They forced me to study how Leah treated me. The way she looked at me. Was she a person that could be all that Henry talked about in a love partner? I was terrified to find out because there was so much at risk. If I lost my company, what would I have in my life? Love didn’t pay the bills. And while Leah often looked at me with emotion, she was young and inexperienced in life. For all I knew, she was idolizing me. Or in a few years, when I was older and grayer, suffering from erectile dysfunction, she’d find someone else.

  I sat at my desk, looking at the itinerary I had for a trip to Paris. It was a last-minute business meeting to see about having Sensual Delights sold in France. Who knew more about sexual pleasure than the French? Well, maybe people in India, since they wrote the Kama Sutra, which Leah and I had been working our way through.

  “I’m heading home, Mr. Cox.” My secretary poked her head in my office.

  “See you tomorrow.”

  Five minutes later, on time, Leah walked into my office, shut the door and locked it. “Mr. Cox.” She had a flirty smile that had my dick up to full staff.

  “Ms. Hammond.”

  “You wanted to see me?”

  Valerie and I used to do a little role playing during our relationship, although usually it involved some sort of domination. Leah’s play was flirty and sexy. It was light and clean, not hard and dirty.

  “I do want to see you.”

  She smiled and began to undress. “I always wonder if today will be the day you’ll have had enough of me and then you look at me like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like you want to devour me.”

  “I do want to devour you.” I also was beginning to think I’d never get enough of her. But sex wasn’t what Henry was talking about when he mentioned about joining souls. I rose from my chair and watched as her eyes went to my groin. “You can see it’s true.”

  Her eyes flashed with fire. “When you get an erection because of me, I feel so powerful.”

  She did have power over me, and it scared me to death. “Do you know any French, Leah?” I dropped my pants, letting my dick spring free.

  “Oh la la.” She dropped to her knees and immediately took my cock in her mouth. I let out a hiss as pleasure spiked, heating my body.

  She sucked my dick a few times and then released him. “You want me to be a French maid?”

  “No.” I took her arms and lifted her up. “I have to make a business trip to France.”

  “Oh. When?”

  “I leave Thursday night. The meeting is Friday.”

  “Will you miss me?” She hooked her arms around my neck.

  “No.”

  She jerked back.

  “I won’t miss you if you come with me. I can initiate you into the mile high club.”

  Desire and something more shone in her eyes. “I’d love to go. My internship is on Fridays.”

  “You’ll be with me and since I’m your supervisor, I think it will be okay.” I sat on the couch with her straddling my legs, a position I knew to be her favorite. It was one of mine too, as it allowed me to watch her as she took her pleasure.

  “In that case, yes, I want to come.”

  “Come?” I moved her hips until she was poised over my burning cock.

  She slid down taking me inside her. “I want to come with you, Sebastian.” She rode me hard, fast, and she did exactly as she said; she came with me.

  20

  Leah

  I grew up with a lot of money, but my father was afraid to fly, so we didn’t travel a lot.

  “The whole world comes to New York City,” he’d say. “You can see it all without leaving the city.”

  But I wanted to see it. I’d been thinking of taking a few months off after I got my MBA to travel and Paris was at the top of my list. To be going there with Sebastian seemed like a dream come true. I’d been surprised he’d invited me, as I’d have thought he’d worry about how it would look to the outside world. But he’d explained to his staff and my father that the meeting was related to a project I’d worked on, which wasn’t a total lie, but not completely accurate either.

  Now, we were on a private plane he’d charted, flying over the Atlantic. We’d eaten a fancy dinner served by an attendant who paid way more attention to Sebastian than me, although I couldn’t blame her. He was a handsome, sexy man.

  He picked up the bottle of champagne and two glasses. “Come on.” He said to me.

  I followed him to the back of the plane where there was a small bedroom.

  “We’ll be flying all night, so we need to get our rest.” The wicked gleam in his eyes told me rest wasn’t all we’d be doing in the bedroom. I got wet thinking of all the things he might do to me.

  “Is this when I get initiated into the mile high club?”

  “If you pass the first test.” He shut the door behind me.

  “Now I’m nervous.”

  He smiled. “I have no doubt you’ll pass with flying colors.”

  “So what’s the test?”

  “Take your clothes off.”

  I laughed. “I think I can manage that.”

  Minutes later, he had me pinned to the bed, pumping his cock in and out of me in a delicious slow slide. He pushed my knees up to my chest, opening me up further so he could slide in deeper.

  “Fuck Leah… your pussy…” He groaned, and I swore I could feel him getting thicker, longer, inside me.

  “Sebastian.” I always said his name when the words “I love you,” buzzed in my head.

  “Come baby. I want to feel you come on my cock.”

  The fantasy part of me would translate that to “I love you too,” which proved how stupid and doomed to heartache I was.

  He picked up the pace, levering himself up over me to plunge again and again, until my pussy contracted and then exploded in exquisite pleasure.

  “I’m coming…” I gasped and arched my body.

  “Fuck yeah… Jesus I love your pussy.”

  I closed my eyes, riding out the storm and wishing he loved me as much as my pussy.

  When he finally collapsed, he rolled off of me, as he usually did. “Welcome to the club.”

  I smiled, even though the moment was bittersweet. I really need to get my emotional shit together. “It’s an honor to be included.”

  He laughed, the deep free one that I didn’t hear
very often. Sebastian didn’t just control emotions such as love. He was guarded in all expressions, from laughter to anger. Not that I hadn’t seen him angry. I’d been able to push his buttons a few times. But his attempt to keep himself emotionally distant was always clear.

  He turned on his side toward me, resting his arm over my middle. It was the closest thing to after sex cuddling he was able to give. “We’ll land in the morning. We’ll have a short time to clean up at the hotel, and then we’ll head straight to the meeting, so we should get some sleep.”

  “Okay.” I rested my hand on his arm, and closed my eyes, wishing I could stop loving this man, yet knowing I probably never would.

  We landed in Paris in the early morning and took a cab to the hotel. We took showers and changed and then headed to the meeting.

  “When we’re done here, we’ll have the rest of the day and weekend to ourselves,” he said as the cab zigged and zagged through the busy streets of Paris.

  I looked at him wanted to believe that this was a romantic weekend away, but I quickly corrected course. This was a fun erotic weekend away. No romance. No love.

  I smiled. “What should we do?”

  His eyes gleamed. “The regular. Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, sex. We are in a country that knows a little something about sex.”

  And romance, I thought, but didn’t say.

  “Is there something you’d like to do?” he asked.

  “I’d like to see the gardens of Versailles and maybe shop.”

  “Shop? Is shopping part of a woman’s DNA?”

  “Of course. I know you sell your own lingerie, but maybe I can find some sexy little French teddy or something.”

  His eyes flashed with heat. “I wouldn’t mind buying that for you.”

  The meeting went well. I got wet and hot watching Sebastian in his element. He exuded confidence and, to my mind, he was sexy as hell. Who better to sell sex toys than him? By the time we left, it appeared that he’d be exporting about a quarter of what was in the Sensual Delight’s catalog to France.