I cleared my throat. Kelsey never danced around an issue like this. Part of the reason she was so good at her job is because she was direct and straight to the point. I always knew I could trust her to get things done and cut through all the bull shit.
If she was acting like this now, it was because she was especially uncomfortable.
“Out with it,” I said. If we were going to have this conversation, then I figured we might as well get it over with.
She nodded. “Well, to be quite frank, sir, you've been calling the girl from Social Media—”
“Jillian,” I said.
She nodded again. “Jillian. You've been calling her down to your office more than once. Always behind closed doors. And she leaves looking, well...sweaty.”
I drummed my fingers on my desk, trying to formulate a response.
“And that's after Las Vegas,” she added.
“What about Vegas?” I asked.
Kelsey met my eyes. I could see impatience building within her. “You two disappear the first night. You call me up the next morning, asking me for her phone number. Then she checks out of the hotel early, heading back before the trip was even over. I'm not stupid, Jack.”
I sighed, lowering my eyes. I continued tapping my fingers against the desk. Kelsey was right. She wasn't dumb. In some ways, she was smarter than me. “What do you want me to say?”
Kelsey crossed her arms, staring me down. “Tell me you're fucking her.”
I looked up at Kelsey, somewhat annoyed, but also relieved that she was acting like her usual self again. It almost felt good to be called out on it directly. I hated dancing around an issue and shoveling bull shit.
“It's complicated,” I said. I would rather have been able to explain it directly, and avoid more of this song and dance. But I wasn't the only one whose reputation was at stake here. I had to take Jillian's feelings into consideration.
Kelsey rolled her eyes at me. “Oh, come on, Jack. It's not that complicated. She's young. Fresh out of college. And she's hot. I mean, hell, even I've checked out her chest in that dress she's wearing today. You're sowing your wild oats. It's not that hard to figure out.”
“Sowing my oats?” I chuckled, shaking my head. “Is that what I'm doing?”
“You're at a certain age, Jack,” she said.
“Oh?” My eyebrows raised. “What age is that?”
“You're going to be forty next year, Jack. You've accomplished a lot in your life, but you haven't had the best luck in romance. It's natural that you'd have a bit of a mid-life complex and want to start banging the hottest young chick in the office.”
“'Hottest young chick'?” I arched an eyebrow, staring Kelsey down. I wouldn't have expected her to put it quite like that. I didn't know whether to be insulted on Jillian's behalf, or strangely proud that I had a girl who was so hot, young, and eager to please me.
Kelsey threw her hands up. “Look, a lot of guys your age do it. Not usually with someone they work with, but it's a common enough thing. You want to feel young again. Feel like you can still get with a younger girl, prove your virility. It makes you feel like you haven't lost it. My dad went through the same thing. I just don't want you to make the same kinds of mistakes he did.”
I rubbed my beard, thinking over her words. I wondered if she was right. I wasn't the kind of man her father was, of course. I'd never met the man, but Kelsey had told me stories about him cheating on her mother with a younger woman. It was natural that this would be the sort of subject that Kelsey would get defensive about.
I stopped to consider her words. Was it possible that I was just “sowing oats,” as she'd put it? Jillian was certainly far younger than the type of girl I usually dated. Not that I'd had much time for romance in my life. In the years since college, I'd never had what could be considered a serious relationship. I'd been too focused on work, on founding this company and building it into the success it was today. I'd made myself a wealthy man, and I'd built a good reputation for myself in the software industry. That hadn't left much time for love.
Maybe Kelsey was right. Maybe I was just trying to recapture the energy of my youth. Prove that I still had what it took to capture a young girl's interest.
Although...when I thought about Jillian, about how soft her skin was, about the sweet, eager look in her eyes when she looked up at me...it didn't feel like it was just about sex. She didn't feel like a conquest.
I didn't know what was really going on between us, but I knew it was something more than just sex. I felt a spark with her. Something I'd never felt before.
“Is this going to keep happening?” Kelsey asked.
I thought about my words for a moment. I considered telling her about the marriage, but that would just complicate things further. Normally, I ran most of my legal issues through Kelsey, even before I called my lawyer, Gary. She was better than I was at drawing up any paperwork I needed sent to my lawyer's office, and she often picked up on details that I might have missed. But this situation was different. I still needed to talk to Jillian more about the annulment. That was something that would best be kept just between the two of us.
“I promise you,” I said, “there will be no more clandestine meetings in the office.”
Kelsey narrowed her eyes. She could tell that I was keeping something back. Not telling her the whole truth.
“Fine,” she said. “Just whatever you do, keep it under the radar. People are going to start talking soon, if this keeps going on. You don't want to take that hit to your reputation, Jack.”
“I'll take that under advisement,” I said.
“And if she turns out to be a gold digger,” Kelsey said, pointing a finger at me, “don't say I didn't warn you.”
“Of course not,” I said.
Kelsey huffed, then turned and headed out the door. I could tell that she was angry. I felt bad for keeping things from her. For not telling her the whole truth. But I had to hold onto some thread of discretion. It wasn't technically any of her business. But we didn't usually have secrets from each other. Kelsey probably knew me better than I knew myself.
But she was right about one thing. I couldn't afford to keep having things happen around the office.
I gave it some thought, then came up with an idea. I looked up Jillian's personnel file on the computer, then pulled out my phone.
She and I still had a great deal to discuss. We just needed to go about it in a more appropriate way.
7
Jillian
Over the next few days, things were mostly back to normal around the office. I came in, did my job, kept my head down, and didn't draw any attention to myself. I occasionally passed by Jack in the hall, and he would nod and smile at me, and I'd do the same. But he never called me down to his office, and while I thought about him frequently, I resisted the urge to put myself out there and try to seduce him.
I still worried that the marriage would have to be brought up sooner or later. I'd tucked the annulment paperwork into a drawer at home, and I hadn't looked at it in days. But I couldn't just ignore it forever. And that was aside from the pregnancy itself. I still hadn't made a doctor's appointment yet, and I had no idea how or when I would tell Jack that he was going to be a father. I already knew that I was keeping the baby. That had never been a question. The only question, really, was how to proceed from here.
Friday night, I came home to a surprise on my front step. A bouquet of roses was sitting by my door. I stopped and put a hand to my heart, caught off guard by the sudden, sweet gesture.
I picked up the bouquet and inhaled the sweet scent of the roses. No one had ever gotten me flowers before. I didn't even need to check the card to know they were from Jack.
I took the bouquet inside, digging through my cabinets for something to put the roses in. My mind raced, trying to figure out what this meant. Was Jack asking me for something more in our relationship? Was this a gesture of romance, an attempt to win my heart? Or did he have some other motivation?
I put the
flowers in some water, then read the card:
Jillian-
Please join me for dinner tonight. We still have a lot to discuss, and I'd like to do it in a more private venue, away from the office. I'll send a car for you at 7:00.
I look forward to seeing you.
Jack
I reread the card again, trying to read between the lines. Jack wanted to have dinner with me? What did this mean?
I headed into my room and searched through my closet. My mind was in a tizzy while I searched for something to wear. What was this dinner going to be about? The roses made me think it might be a romantic get together. A real date. We'd never had a real date together.
On the other hand, the card said we “have a lot to discuss.” He might have only wanted to talk about the annulment. Which, considering the circumstances, was the last thing I wanted to discuss.
I considered a few different dresses. I could dress more professionally, and treat this like a meeting to discuss business. But that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to use this night to convince Jack that we should be together. I needed to try to break past his professional barriers and win his heart.
It put on a tight green dress that matched my eyes. The skirt was so short it barely covered my ass. I'd bought the dress on a whim years ago and I'd never had the courage to wear it. But tonight was the night.
I put on matching green panties, and no bra. I wanted to draw Jack's attention in every way possible, and the dress was low cut enough that I could lean over and show off the goods. I had never been the sort of person to act that way before. I didn't know if it was just that Jack brought this out in me, or if the hormones from being pregnant were affecting my judgment. But when I looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn't help but think that I looked damn hot. It made me feel empowered.
Surely, Jack would have to fall for my charms tonight.
I waited downstairs for the car to arrive. It was a black Lexus, and the driver got out to open the door for me. I noticed him looking down my dress while I climbed into the car. I knew I should have been offended, but it made me smile.
I squirmed in my seat the entire drive. I didn't even know where we were going. After the first few turns, I didn't recognize the neighborhood we were in. We drove for almost half an hour. The driver didn't say much, other than telling me I looked nice, commenting on the weather, and complaining about traffic. I gave him a few short replies, but I had too much on my mind to really hold up a conversation. He didn't seem to notice how distracted I was. I doubted he had any idea what was going on between Jack and I. As far as I knew, no one had any idea.
The car pulled up to a fancy restaurant that I'd never been to before. There were rose bushes by the front entrance, and the place offered valet parking. The driver got out and opened my door for me. Another man in a nice suit opened the front door to the restaurant for me.
I gave the doorman a grateful smile, stepping inside. I immediately felt out of place. I was used to going to family restaurants, with pop music playing, football games playing on TVs hung on the walls, and a hostess handing out place mats and crayons for families with young kids.
This place was completely different. Soft classical music played gently in the background. The decor was refined, with paintings hanging on the walls and potted plants dotting the room. The wait staff, rather than wearing simple uniforms, were all wearing shirts with ties. The clientele all looked to be wealthy, based on their clothes and fancy jewelry. Suddenly, I felt horribly under-dressed, and I wished I'd worn something with a longer skirt.
A hostess stood by a front podium. She looked up at me, eyeing my dress, then asked, “May I help you?”
“Umm...I'm meeting Jack O'Rourke.”
She looked over a list on her podium, then nodded. “This way, please.”
She led me towards the back of the restaurant, to a table that was thankfully isolated and private. Leafy plants sat on the short wall that separated the table from those nearby, giving it an added touch of privacy. I slid onto the curved bench seat and scooted around towards the back end of the table, where I was mostly hidden from view.
“Mr. O'Rourke hasn't arrived yet,” the hostess said. “But we'll have a bottle of wine sent out while you wait.”
“Oh. Umm, thank you.” I blinked, caught off guard by the gesture. I wondered how expensive the wine in a place like this was. I was used to buying twelve dollar bottles of cheap wine at the corner liquor store. Somehow I expected this place would hold a much higher standard.
The hostess delivered a bottle of expensive wine and poured me a glass. I pushed the glass to the side, unable to touch it, though I couldn't exactly explain that to the staff here. Maybe I would pour some into a potted plant when no one was looking, so it would seem like I'd been drinking.
I was still sitting there in front of a full wine glass when Jack arrived. He was dressed casually, in black pants and a shirt with the top two buttons undone. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me, his eyes taking me in. I caught him peeking at my cleavage, and I leaned forward a bit to give him a better view.
His breath caught. “You look...”
I grinned. “I know,” I said.
He cleared his throat, sitting down and sliding across the bench seat until he was close to me, though not as close as I would have liked. Close enough for us to talk intimately, but not quite touching.
“I'm glad you came,” he said.
“Well how could I say no?”
He chuckled. “I know things have been awkward lately. Especially considering out...behavior around the office.”
“You mean you pinning me down on your desk and fucking me?”
His face turned a light shade of pink. “Yes. That.”
I put a hand on his knee.
He looked up at me.
“I know we shouldn't do it in the office,” I said. “But I really love the...the way you touch me.”
His eyes locked onto mine. I could see the desire in them.
But he pulled back, moving a few inches away. My hand fell away from his knee.
My heart clenched inside my chest.
“Jillian,” he said. “You understand that no matter how much we might have enjoyed those times together, it can't be like that. We work together.”
“I work for you,” I said, correcting him.
“That just makes it even more inappropriate.”
I looked down into my wine glass. I hadn't touched it, of course. I couldn't drink in my condition. I wished for a moment that they made pregnancy-safe wine, because I really needed a drink right then.
“We should talk about the annulment,” Jack said.
I looked up at him, searching his eyes. I could sense conflict there. I knew this wasn't as simple as he was trying to make it out to be.
“I...” I wrung my hands on the table top. I still wasn't ready yet to tell him that I was pregnant. I needed for us to build our relationship more first.
“I don't want the annulment,” I said.
Jack was silent for a long time. He tapped his fingers on the table, watching me. Finally, he asked, “And why is that?”
I shrugged. I stared down at the table, unable to meet his eyes. “It doesn't sound right. I mean, isn't an annulment meant for people who were never involved in a relationship to begin with?”
“Well, we weren't,” he said. “We got drunk and did something stupid.”
“I know that,” I said. “But we weren't drunk the other day in your office.”
He sighed, rubbing his beard. “That's true. But it doesn't change things.”
“I think it does,” I said. I sat up a bit straighter. “We might not be in a 'normal' relationship, Jack. And I know things are weird, with us working together and all. But...”
I reached out and placed my hand on top of his.
“But I think it's unfair to get an annulment,” I said, “and call what exists between us 'void.' To pretend like it never happened. An annulment means nothing t
hat happened counted. And I think it counts for something.”
He stared at me for a long, silent moment. Then he smiled and squeezed my hand. “I suppose I can see what you're saying,” he said. “But all that does is make things more complicated. A divorce is a lot harder to go through than a simple annulment. Despite what it might mean, how it might define the nature of our relationship, an annulment really would be the easier option.”
I sighed. He wasn't hearing what I was really saying. He thought it was a choice between annulment and divorce. A choice between a quick, easy legal fix, and a more complicated, drawn out one.
But I didn't want either. I needed for him to stay married to me. For the sake of our child.
I could only think of one way to get my message across.
The server arrived. We ordered our meal. Jack sat in awkward silence. I tried to work up the courage to go through with my plan.
“I'm just trying to do what I think is best for you,” Jack finally said.
I almost laughed. I knew he really was trying, that he thought this was for the best. But he didn't know the whole story. That was entirely my fault, for not telling him the truth. But it was what it was.
“I think I know what's really best,” I told him.
He arched an eyebrow. “Oh? And what is that?”
I slid down, slowly and awkwardly, moving off the bench seat and under the table. I pulled the tablecloth aside, ducking all the way under, out of sight.
“Jillian?” Jack asked, a touch of confusion and alarm in his voice. “What are you doing?”
“Showing you how I feel,” I said.
I moved over to him under the table. I lifted the edge of the tablecloth out of the way. From where I was, on my knees, I was right at face level with his crotch.
Jack glanced under the table at me, his eyes wide. “Jillian, you can't be serious...”
I reached for his zipper, pulling it down. I intended to show him just how serious I was.
Jack looked around, a nervous expression on his face. He sat there tense, gripping the edge of the table in his hands. Part of him probably wanted to tell me to stop. To tell me that it was inappropriate to do this in a public place. To tell me that we couldn't have this kind of relationship.
Beautiful Mistakes: Contemporary Romance Boxset Books 1-4 Page 60
