by Karla Luna
“Whatever. Zavier!” Darrel paused to put the phone on speaker.
“Yeah!?”
“We’re sneaking in to a party today! You’re coming with us. I’m already on my way so you can’t say no. Invite your other little friends, too. Whoever the hell they are.”
Party? Oh, no. No, no, no. It has been long since I went to my first party and even that one didn’t go so well. I didn’t want to go to another! “But…”
“No buts. You need to loosen up a little. It’s just for a little while, too, I swear.”
“Jesse, I punched you in the face. Let’s not forget that.” I was even a prick with my friends. I really was changing for the worse. And if he thinks a party will heal that, then he’s insane. Well, even more than he already was.
“It’s all right. I deserved it for being an ass to you all these years,” he laughed, but I didn’t even crack a single smile, “I told everyone it was all right. Why do you think your mom’s not mad at you? I reassured her it was okay. You weren’t thinking straight, which was whyyy you need to come party! Just a small party. Nothing really huge. Hey, even Joss is coming. Just forget about the punch, my nose is fine. Didn’t even need the hospital. But I’ll probably get my ass whooped once I get back home for sneaking out. Ethan’s mad too, though, so he’s actually not here, which is weird since he’s always here.” He paused to exhale deeply. “Anyway, I'll see you there. Wear something purty, Zavier Coin. See ya!”
That’s when Ian spun around from looking at my stuff again, and Darrel hung up the phone with a huge grin. “Looks like there will be a party after all!” he yelled out in excitement.
“And no worries, we’ll show you what it’s like being with people like us, Zavier,” Ian said with a wink and a grin, causing me to gulp from the nerves that were quickly building up somewhere in my stomach.
This was not going to end well, was it?
The first party really didn’t.
But when did things go well when the bad were around?
36: The Sick Game We Play
• Zavier •
“Again… so glad we robbed that bank before getting here,” Ian said as we walked over to where this supposed ‘party’ was being held. Since there was barely any parking space left nearby, we had to walk a few blocks.
Honestly though, all I did was inch a bit farther away from the guy each time he said something like that. I couldn’t run. They’d catch me in a flash, especially with those long legs since they were both taller than me.
They actually seemed like nice, chill dudes, but they scare the crap out of me. I was still trying to act as casual as I could about things though. I really shouldn’t even be scared. I didn’t want to keep acting like the wimp I was. But what was I supposed to act like?
Was I supposed to act like they’re my new best friends? Because I’m sure Ethan’s done with me. And Jesse? Well, he seemed rather casual about everything as well, and he and Darrel seemed to be getting along pretty well.
Oh no!
“So, nerd.”
I inwardly growled and glared up at Ian. I bet he heard me, because I saw him grin.
“What’s the thing between you and Evelyn?”
Evelyn.
I was still worried about her and where she had gone to last night. She hadn’t come home yet, but I told my mom to tell me if she saw her. And yes, I did have to lie to her about this party. And I feel even more horrible knowing that Evelyn was out there, but I’m – we’re all – at some stupid party instead?
Doesn’t that make us seem, oh I don’t know, pretty low?
We were just great people, weren’t we?
“Don’t worry. She can take care of herself. Drake taught us all, you know? He was just as broken and fucked up as all of us. But he still decided to help and teach us this way of life.”
This way of life? Did he mean being criminals and delinquents? Drake seemed like a great guy, as I’ve said before, but did he really think being ‘bad’ would help them?
Then again, did I think being bad was going to help me? I guess I wasn’t thinking straight, what with everything that’s been going on. Deep down inside, I really didn’t want to be bad. I only ever wanted to be bad for her. Just for her.
But was she ever really worth the change?
Honestly, she was worth everything to me. But now, I didn’t even know what to think.
“Darrel actually lost his mother at age 13. Then his father turned on him after that, telling him it was his fault, and to go die and stuff. He was badly hurt until Drake found him. That’s when he stopped taking shit from people… completely. He was never that sad, shy boy ever again. He stood up for himself and even for others.”
I took a quick look at Darrel and saw his eyes shining bright like a little kid’s as he talked with Jesse. He didn’t seem so broken – more like happy. He really was happy, as if no one has ever hurt him at all in the past.
Though they’re considered bad people, I knew that wasn’t the case.
Bad girls. Bad boys. They’re just people with horrible stories.
Good girls. Good boys. They’re just people with stories. And really, people can be good or bad, but we never really know that for sure.
“Drake might have taught us to not give a shit, or to take anyone’s shit. But he made us feel safe, secure, and happy. Darrel’s my best friend and seeing him so miserable just made me miserable,” Ian said, as he pulled out a cigarette pack and lit one up. I watched him bring it to his lips and found the urge to grab one, too. But I knew he thought I was the nerdy good boy, so he wouldn’t offer. Though if he did, would I even take it? Am I even that good boy anymore? I don’t even know. I was only confusing myself.
“Did anything happen to you?” I cautiously asked before my mind went to extremes again.
Ian shrugged and took a deep drag of his cigarette before blowing the smoke out. I didn’t even get bothered by it or coughed. I just took the air in like it was normal.
“People are cruel. Doesn’t really matter now. I’m not one to talk about it. But you, nerd.” This time, I actually smiled and rolled my eyes as he put his arm around me and took another drag of the cigarette. “I want to know what is up with you and our little Eve. I know there’s more to the story.”
I started shaking my head, beginning to feel guilty yet again just hearing her name. All right, so I wanted to punch myself very badly, but Ian seemed like a pretty cool guy (even with the irritation he had given me earlier). I didn’t want him to know I hurt Evelyn. I mean, I knew I deserved the beating, but he seemed like he could really fight.
So if it wasn’t obvious yet, here’s the thing – I’d most likely be dead if he and Darrel found out everything. Well, I only didn’t let her explain, so would they give me a slight warning before they pounce on me? A five-second head start perhaps? Ian had told me that Evelyn was like their little sister and I knew that if I had a little sister, I’d be more protective of her than anything else in this world.
“I… look, there’s nothing really going on between us and even if there was…”
“Well, we’re here! Let’s party, people!” Jesse yelled out as he walked in front of us and turned so that we could see his face. I had to look away every single time he faced us because the sight seriously made me flinch. His nose looked horrible. I didn’t think I could punch that hard. I don’t even think I deserve his forgiveness for what I did. I mean, he’s my best friend. I can’t believe he’s still cool with this. His nose was a bit crooked now, and bandaged, and it was obvious that there was a big purple bruise around it.
Jesse was still the same though, and looked as happy as ever.
It made me hate myself even more. How could he still be that way? I would’ve punched myself back. You know, gotten up from the floor, pretend the nosebleed was no big deal, and bam!
But no, he just had to be nice. Dammit, Jesse! You chose now to be nice?
“So Zavier, put that frown away, we’re going to enjoy this,” he s
aid with a huge grin as he turned back around, smelled the fresh air, and walked towards the house like he owned the place.
I shook my head yet couldn’t help but smile as we all followed close behind him.
This wasn’t like the first party, where a drunken guy was guarding the door and Evelyn had to flirt with him just to knock him out seconds later. So we walked right in and the party seemed calmer. Maybe because it was barely starting? I don’t know. I asked myself why I even came here. To distract myself? Because these guys practically dragged me here?
They always dragged me to places, dammit. When am I going to stop being so scared and just say ‘no’ to them?
They practically dressed me, too! What was it with bad boys and bad girls wearing so much black all the time? To make them seem scarier? I guess it did, since people would probably end up chuckling if they wore something colorful and silly instead.
“So what does New Jersey do with its parties?” Ian asked, even though it seemed more like a statement. He licked his bottom lip before grabbing a cup of something and starting to drink it.
“We’re not really the party goers,” I said while looking around.
When I looked in front though, I abruptly stopped before bumping into Jesse since he had accidentally bumped into someone else himself.
I gasped a little and frowned with worry when I saw Joss right in front of him. And just like Jesse, she had a bruise right on her face. Although, hers was barely noticeable and it was around her left eye instead. I suspect hers was a lot bigger too, seeing as she could’ve easily used makeup to cover it up.
I walked right in front of Jesse without taking my eyes off her. Then I slowly started bringing my hand up, when she flinched away from me. “Joss… w-what happened?”
“Oh nothing um, just, walked right into a pole, is all,” she answered with a nervous smile.
We all then turned to Ian when we heard him scoff.
“More like smacked against the damn pole. That is the oldest excuse in the book, girly,” he said, pointing his cigarette at her while he held his cup with the other hand. “She clearly got punched in the face. I know a punch when I see one. And that, girly, was one hell of a good punch you got.”
“And who are you?” she asked, though she also seemed irritated with him almost right away. I guess that’s what Ian was like. Irritating, smooth, yet a jokester.
He smirked at her. “Ian, my darling. Virginian bad boy. Nice to meet you.”
She faked a smile. “All right. Well, Ian, I did not get punched in the face. Otherwise, I think I would’ve known.”
“You probably wouldn’t have since you probably fainted before getting knocked out,” Darrel commented with a chuckle, making Jesse bite his lip and look up at me. I think he wanted to tell me something but all I did was shrug at him. Then he folded his arms and raised his eyebrows at me while nodding over at Joss.
Seriously, what’s he trying to tell… Ohhh!
I cleared my throat and looked at Ian and Darrel. But then, Jesse cut me off before I was even about to open my mouth. “All right, let’s go guys. Leave the boy alone to deal with his girlfriend.” Now, instead of blushing, I just closed my eyes and sighed while throwing my head back to look up at the ceiling.
Really, Jesse?
I never even asked her out. It was just a date we had, that was all.
But no, this guy…
“She’s your girlfriend?” Ian asked with a playful tone. I didn’t even need to look at him. I knew he was smirking. “Oooh, nerd boy gettin’ it on! Ow, ow, ow, let me go! Damn,” he whined when Darrel grabbed his ear to pull him away from us. But when I looked at him again, he was still smirking while giving me a thumbs up, head banging to the current music playing.
He sure was going to be a handful.
Another handful, I should say.
It just never ends.
I turned back to Joss and looked at her bruise again. “Hey, you can tell me what happened now,” I said with a voice full of concern, because I really was worried for her. Who would’ve hurt her this way?
“It’s really nothing,” she replied with a serious face, but I just shook my head. I wouldn’t let this go. It must’ve been a fight, maybe a misunderstanding. Jesus, her mother could be abusive or something.
“Joss…”
“Zavier…”
I sighed. “That’s not right, you know? Punching people in the face.” … unless when it’s really necessary. It would be okay then, right?
“You did it to Jesse and he forgave you.”
Well, when you put it that way….
“That’s a best friend you gotta keep close. Don’t worry about me. Okay?”
I still kept looking at her bruise. Even though I knew she might’ve already taken care of it, I still wanted to get some ice for her or something. Just to help out a little. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m fine. Just go have fun with your friends.”
“I… well, they can have fun without me. I’ll just stay with you, if you’d like.”
She kept quiet for a while, then smiled at me and grabbed my hand. “Okay… um. Oh! There’s a spin the bottle game about to take place in the living room. Wanna join?”
I bit my lip and knew I was definitely going to cave in with those puppy dog eyes she was giving me. She didn’t use to do that with me. People hardly did those with me. They worked on me, but not with certain people… like Jesse – although, I suspect it would work with Ethan, for some reason.
Huh, spin the bottle… The game that in 6th grade started out my whole obsessive-like crush on Jocey Rodriguez.
I mean sure, I’ll play.
But… should I really? What could possibly go wrong?
I shouldn’t even say that. Seriously, I felt like it was about to bring me a ton of bad luck.
“I’ve always loved the game,” Joss stated with a shrug. “Have no idea why. I just like the mystery in it, I guess? We get to find out more about people. What they’re capable of. How they really feel…”
“Joss, this is high school. Not 6th grade. Who knows what they’re capable of asking.” In 6th grade, we were dared to throw an egg at a runner, but even that was too extreme for me. And a little kiss on the cheek from Joss? Way too extreme for me, even though it wasn’t even my dare.
Now in high school, people are most likely dared to go into a closet with five people to have a…
I don’t even want to think about it. I’m thinking of backing out already, but that’ would make me seem more of a wimp than I already am.
I also didn’t want Joss getting involved in any of that inappropriate sort of stuff. And I obviously didn’t want to get involved in that sort of stuff, either.
But she was already pulling me over to the living room, where there was a group of about ten people around the table, and they already had the bottle in place.
We’re really going old school with this, huh?
“Hey guys, I’m back. We can go ahead and start now,” Joss said as she sat down on the couch. But there was no more space where she was at, so I sat down on the couch right next to her instead.
I felt my heart stop once I saw who were sitting in the couch with me though.
Evelyn and Davne.
I almost immediately turned back around when I saw them, but I knew she noticed me. She pretended otherwise though. She didn’t even take a single look at me as she drank from her Jack Daniels bottle and then gave it to Davne.
So that’s how it was. I was here, worried sick for her and could not stop thinking about her the whole day. I was horrible for not letting her explain. I was horrible for not going out and looking for her.
But this made me almost want to laugh!
She was here, at some stupid party. With him!
How fucking fantastic of her!
Should it even matter now? I don’t even know why I care anymore, honestly. It just made me so mad. I couldn’t control it. She liked him instead of me. She liked the bad boy ins
tead of me. She wanted him… and not me.
It hurt too. I’ve done nothing but care for her, and even covered for her whenever she needed it, just so that she wouldn’t get in trouble with my mother. But this is what happens when you’re too good and too freakin’ nice with people.
I’m done.
I knew I was done.
“I’ll spin it first,” Joss said as she grabbed the bottle from the table and spun it around. I paid no attention to it at all. But once it landed straight on Evelyn, she sprung up from her seat on the couch almost right away, raising her arm up in excitement, making almost everyone turn to look at her.
Of course. She was drunk already, wasn’t she?
As Evelyn looked at Joss, I noticed that she had this dark look in her eyes while her lip quivered, as she wore one of those smug grins she usually has. I took a look at Joss very cautiously and noticed her trying to avoid looking at Evelyn, almost as if she was scared to even say anything to her. And she moved so that her hair would also cover up the horrible bruise on her eye.
“What’s the dare, my dear Jocey,” Evelyn said as she lay back on the couch as if without a care in the world. I looked at her again, but she kept her eyes straight on Joss with the same smug grin. Davne also had a smirk, but he was looking at the others surrounding the table.
I turned to Joss and saw her look down while smiling, or giving a fake smile. I couldn’t even tell at times. Seriously, was I missing something here or…?
“Evelyn, I dare you to straddle Davne. Make out for one whole minute without stopping. Should be easy, right?”
If I was drinking something, I’m sure I would’ve thrown up on her.
What. The. Hell!
No! No fucking way, were they doing that here, not in front of me. Please not in front of me!
But Evelyn just seemed as bored as ever as she shrugged. “Cool, whatever.”
Oh.
Ha. That’s right. It’s not like she doesn’t do these things with him anyways.
I scoffed.
Should’ve known.
Putting my hand to my forehead, I tried my very best not to hit anything. I took deep breaths and clenched my jaw as I watched Evelyn get up from the corner of my eye, and go over to straddle Davne, who I’m sure still had that stupid smirk on his stupid face.
