by Karla Luna
“One minute,” Evelyn whispered as she began to lock lips with the one guy I hated the most. I just kept my fists clenched and glared at the stupid bottle that just had to stop on her first.
But why would Joss even give her that dare? Because she knew that they both deserved each other? Or because she knew about them all along?
A growl escaped my throat when I heard moaning and remembered that video. Davne’s hands were all over her and people all around were watching intensely with huge grins on their faces, as if they were freakin’ highly amused.
Dammit! Dammit to all hell! I was getting angry again!
Without even thinking twice, I abruptly got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen, gripping my hair in the process. I didn’t even notice Ian, Darrel and Jesse in there playing some drinking game until I heard Jesse quickly coming to my side, looking worried.
“Whoa dude, what’s…” He cut himself off and moved away while covering his head once he saw me punch the nearest wall with a loud groan.
It was quiet then as I tried to breathe deeply, tightly closing my eyes from the burn my knuckles were having. I was starting to bleed already but I freakin’ didn’t care. I wanted to punch the wall way more than just a dozen times. There was already a huge hole on it. It could use some more, right? After all, my hand wouldn’t hurt as much as my dumb heart.
“Well, shit,” Ian said.
“Impressive,” I heard Darrel whisper. “Thinking what I’m thinking, dude?”
“Zavier…” Jesse cautiously started as I heard him get closer again. But I put my hand up to stop him. I didn’t want to hurt my best friend again. I didn’t want anyone hurt except for Davne. “Hey, calm down dude. It’s all right. What happened?”
“She”--I clenched my jaw again--“is freakin’ making out with him right in front of me.” At that, I turned around and he was surprised to see the tears in my eyes. Why the hell was I crying over this? It was stupid to cry. I didn’t want to, but it just happened. “Why the hell did I even come?” I whispered, as I rubbed the tears off with my forearm.
“Joss was making out with someone?” he asked with an incredulous look on his face, as he suddenly turned mad. “What the f—”
“No, it’s not her. It’s Evelyn and Davne.”
It got silent again and after a few seconds, we both heard Ian and Darrel talk in unison, “Davne Conrad?”
“You know him!?” Jesse asked in surprise, as we turned to face the two guys.
“Yeah, he’s a dickhead,” Ian said with a shrug as he drank from his red cup. “Only dude with that ridiculous name. I mean, Davne?”
“It is pretty odd,” Jesse said.
“Seriously though.”
“Davne? Sounds like a fucking wanker.”
“All right,” I sternly said, making them both stop. “How do you know him?”
“Well, he’s practically known by any gang around here and Virginia. He’s just that notorious.”
“Never had the pleasure to introduce ourselves properly though,” Darrel said with a frown as he crossed his arms. “Evelyn’s with him?”
“She wouldn’t do that,” Ian shook his head. “She never knew about him. Dammit, if only we told her who he was so she’d stay away. I knew we should’ve.”
I just closed my eyes again and fought the urge to punch the same wall. “I just… I can’t do this anymore. I’m leaving,” I said as I slammed my hands on the counter and started to walk towards the door. But I couldn’t go since Jesse blocked the way while holding his arms up to stop me.
“Dude, don’t go walking out by yourself, it’s too dangerous.”
What, people don’t think I’d be able to take care of myself now? I almost scoffed and laughed at him. “Like I give a crap…” I was about to walk around him, when he grabbed my arm this time and gave me a serious look. But I saw how worried he really was. He actually cared for me.
“Zavier.”
I sighed and rubbed my face with my hand. “I’ll be fine, Jesse. I swear. I just need to breathe.” I was actually surprised that I was able to control my breathing enough to not have a panic attack. But I still felt like it was coming soon if I didn’t get some fresh air.
“Yeah, well, if you’re alive and can talk to me right now, then you can breathe. Just stay. You and Evelyn need to talk.”
Ha! Was he being serious now!? “I do not want to talk.”
“You two will talk. Or so God help me I will punch the both of you.” He paused, then glanced from side to side. “Actually no, Evelyn scares me shitless and punching would be abuse. And you punched me, so I’m pretty much screwed. But hey, hey. Ian and Darrel got my back. Right guys!?”
He looked to me with a huge grin, but then he frowned when he noticed that he was talking to an empty space.
“Those little shitheads,” he muttered. “You two are still talking. I will lock you in a freakin’ room if I have to.”
Well, that’d be fun.
37: Locked In You
• Zavier •
“I still can’t believe those fuckers. They left me,” Jesse kept repeating with his arms crossed, making me put my hand to my forehead. I was about to leave every time he looked away, but he always managed to grab my arm on time, which made me groan. “See, I should’ve known. Don’t trust the bad boys, no matter how fun they are.” He paused, but then made me jump when he suddenly laughed and hit my back. Hard. “Ha! What am I saying? What about Davne? He’s a total ass.”
I was about to open my mouth and finally say something, when I heard the kitchen door open again. I moved away and stood next to Jesse. Then, my eyes went completely wide once I saw Ian carrying an unconscious Evelyn in his arms, with Darrel at his side wearing the same huge smile on his face… only he held a chocolate bar.
“Hey, dude, we got her,” Ian said with a nod toward Jesse. “Now where do you wanna put her?”
I gaped at them. That was all I could honestly do at that moment. Did they really… What the… what did they do to her!?
They worked really fast, too. I wasn’t surprised at all, though.
But still. Why would they do this? I don’t even want to know how they got her unconscious in the first place. It made me shiver.
“I knew you guys had my back!” Jesse yelled at them as he went over and put his arm around Darrel. “Never doubted you for a second!”
“Are you…” I managed to say, but then I paused to cover my mouth and take a deep breath. “Are you serious right now?”
“Hell yeah, does it look like we’re fucking with you or something? Now hurry up before she wakes up. If she does, she’ll start kicking… and rather hard… in all the wrong places.”
“Wait, who’s gonna get Zavier?” Once Darrel asked that, my eyes went even wider and I tried to make a run for it. Though Jesse and Ian immediately blocked me. And even though Ian still had Evelyn in his arms, he still managed to grab me. Seriously, how the hell did he manage that?
Dammit.
Was Jesse right though? Did I really need to talk to her? It’s not like it would change anything. And I was being stupid again, wasn’t I? I needed to at least talk to her. I hated not talking to her like we used to.
I just wanted our friendship back, even though I couldn’t just be friends with the one girl I loved. It was torture not getting to see her smile the way she used to, even though it’s barely been like a day or so.
I wanted her to even call me ‘teddy bear’ again. I’ve taken a liking to that because she just looked so cute saying it. And I just wanted her back before she fully decides to completely ignore me.
I didn’t want our dinners awkward and silent. I didn’t want to see her in the house and have her glare at me. I didn’t want to see her in the halls, passing right by me like she never even knew me. And I definitely didn’t want someone to ask her about me, only for her to say she’s completely forgotten about me, or doesn’t even know me at all.
I was actually crumbling in my thoughts then.
So Jesse was right. I needed to talk to her and make things right before they went horribly wrong for good, even though it seemed like they were already starting to.
“Let me go,” I said to them in a serious tone, yet I heard my voice crack a bit. I felt everyone’s eyes on me but I just kept my head low and stared at the floor. “I won’t leave, just give me Evelyn and I’ll take her up to an empty room where she can rest.”
It got quiet for a second and I felt like the guys were just looking at each other questioningly.
“You… you sure?”
I turned to Jesse right then and he seemed to step back a bit when he saw my face. But I wasn’t angry with him. I was just really angry with myself. I needed to think straight and do this. I needed to do the right thing. “I need to talk to her,” I said in a whisper to him, and at the sound of my voice, his eyes went soft and he sighed while gripping his hair and looking at Ian.
“Wow, it was that easy,” Darrel said, as I turned to glare at him. He just shrugged and put his hands up in and continued to eat his chocolate.
“All right, dude,” Ian said as he carefully handed Evelyn over so that I could carry her in my arms instead. She was so small, light, and delicate… and she looked completely…
Dead.
I blinked hard and immediately threw that thought away from my mind. I had no idea why that thought suddenly came into my head, but I knew I wanted it away.
I looked up at the guys and they stared down at Evelyn, though I felt Jesse’s eyes on me. I saw him scrunch his nose up and then grab it as if it was in pain. And maybe it was. He really should’ve just punched me.
And it still made me wonder just who punched Joss…
“Take care of her. She’s like our little sister.”
“It’s not like you guys will leave us here,” I responded to Ian with a frown. “Wait… right?”
Ian smirked at me right then and there as he put his hand on my shoulder. “I meant for later, nerd boy.” I… later? What did he mean by that? “We’ll be around. Just tell us when you two are done with the frickle frack— I’m kidding, dude, I’m kidding. In the meantime, I will definitely keep Joss entertained with my… I’m kidding again! Jeez, stop giving me that look. Damn, for a geeky good boy you sure have a glare that’s scary enough to kill someone.”
That actually almost had me grinning this time.
I was scaring the bad boy? Well, that was something new to me.
Before leaving to go upstairs to find a clean and completely empty room, I looked at Jesse and nodded at him as a ‘thank you’.
A ‘thank you’ for making me realize how stupid I’ve been acting lately. If he didn’t want to punch me, he should’ve at least bitch-slapped me. I think it would’ve knocked some real sense into me earlier.
All right, another thing I had to work on was to stop swearing so much, even if they were only in my thoughts. It’s gotten much worse that I’m afraid my mom’s going to need a swear jar especially made for me. And I definitely didn’t want that. It would make me feel irresponsible and horrible – like I’m not the person I once was. But then, I did know I have changed already. So what would be the point of denying it, really?
Finding a suitable room around the house was quite difficult. I kept hearing moans, a few screams and some freakin’ pounding as I passed by them. Seriously, people?! It seems like they just come to parties to do these sorts of stuff.
Well, they basically do.
I shook my head and went all the way down a dark hall until I finally reached an open door that held a very dark room. I took a deep breath and slowly pushed it wide open with my foot to have a good look inside. It seemed completely empty, so I turned the lights on to get better look.
Sighing deeply, I walked in, closed the door behind me and locked it. Then, I gently placed Evelyn on the empty, neatly made bed. I was really surprised there was actually an empty room here. Usually, with these parties, all of them would be taken.
I swallowed hard and buried my hands in my pockets as I watched Evelyn with her eyes closed, slowly breathing in and out. If she didn’t wake up soon, I didn’t know if I could still do this. I mean, what was I even supposed to start saying to her? I’m probably going to end up saying something completely stupid and awkward. That’s how I’ve always been after all.
Stupid, awkward, and nervous.
But maybe I could start by letting her talk. She didn’t have a chance to before. I was just so mad that she was with Davne in that video. But once I saw it again – yes, I did, and I’m just crazy like that, it seemed like she was, I don’t know, pretty much forcing herself to do those things they did together? So there had to be a reason behind it. There had to be. I just feel it.
I felt like throwing something, though. Why couldn’t everything be simple for us? Why couldn’t reality be nice for once? Why couldn’t I just be with her like I really wanted to be?
I clenched my jaw and sat down on the bed close to Evelyn’s feet. Then I put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands as I rapidly tapped my foot against the carpeted floor.
All I did right then was stare at the empty space in front of me, for I don’t know how many minutes, while biting my lip. Then, I felt those stupid tears in my eyes already starting to form. I had absolutely no idea why I wanted to cry. I just felt my chest hurting, like it was tightening by the second. I didn’t do anything about it though. I just felt like I completely stopped breathing and I didn’t even care. I didn’t care at all.
I was losing her already. I was going to lose her. And losing her just meant I was over and done with everything in this world.
If only she…
“Dammit,” I whispered to myself as I tightly closed my eyes and let one tear roll down my pale cheek.
And that’s when I heard her gentle voice calling out to me.
• Evelyn •
Seeing him like that… it was just the worst scene I could ever lay my eyes on.
Seeing him hurt made me want to hurt every single person that even dared to look funny at him. Seeing him broken made me want to punch somebody… anybody. Seeing him cry made me want to hug him and comfort him throughout the night so that he would feel safe and protected from any danger in the world.
I was stupid. I’m sure everyone has established that enough already. I’ve hurt my good boy when that’s what I was trying to avoid in the first place. I had no idea what I was thinking last night. I was just angry that he didn’t let me talk.
So I went over to Davne’s house after finally giving Joss what I thought she deserved. No biggie. We had a few drinks, talked a bit, but that was it. I wouldn’t give myself to him. I wouldn’t help him with anything, either. He didn’t ask for anything, which made me grateful, but I decided that this was done. Everything was just done.
I did this to protect Zavier, but all I’ve done is fucking hurt him in the worst possible ways. And I just couldn’t do that any longer.
So if Davne wanted to hurt him, he was just going to have to hurt me instead. I didn’t even care. As long as he left Zavier alone, I was good.
Hey, Hell, I’m Evelyn. I bet you’ve been expecting me for a while now.
For now, Zavier and I did need to talk. I’m guessing that’s why we were here in the room in the first place. Or maybe he just wanted me to rest. But whatever the reason, I was going to talk to him. I knew the Zavier I first met was still in there. He would listen to me – no matter how long it took for me to explain.
“Um… Zavier?” I whispered, making him freeze up as he slowly turned to face me. I saw his teary eyes as he sniffed and rubbed his face with his hands and turned to look at the space in front of him. Then he clenched his jaw before slightly opening his mouth to press his tongue against the inside of his cheek. I think he was trying to calm himself down since he tightly closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and then angrily tightened his fists.
It got silent in the room and all I could hear was the music slightly blaring f
rom downstairs and a ton of voices outside all jumbled into one distracting cacophony.
Though all I really cared about was Zavier at the moment.
His first words shocked me.
“I’m such a dick.”
Whoa… that one surely surprised me. I never would have thought that he would call himself something bad, especially not something like that. There was a huge reason why he felt this way and I hated hearing him say something bad like that about himself. He really shouldn’t have said that. It did things to my heart that I couldn’t exactly comprehend.
“Zavier…”
“No, just…” He immediately got up once I started to reach for him. That little movement itself made pain shoot through my chest. I absolutely hated it. “It’s hard enough.” He gripped his hair and pretended to laugh like all of this was funny. But he got serious right away and I still saw those tears in his eyes. “All right? It’s hard enough to see you every damn day and not get to hold you like I want to hold you. It’s hard enough to see you and not get to kiss you properly. Hug you just to make you feel safe and secure. Protect you from any danger coming your way. Be with you like I really want to be.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but only a slight whimper came out. I had no idea what to say to something like that.
I was stunned and surprised. My heart was going crazy and my thoughts were full of only his face, his laugh, his smile – just anything and everything about him. That’s what I wanted to see again. I just needed my good boy back.
I didn’t want to change him. I didn’t want to be a bad influence. And I didn’t want to see him like this. I wanted to see him happy – because if he was happy, then I would be happy as well.
“But that’s crazy.” I turned to him again as he continued to speak. “It’s stupid.” He laughed and covered his mouth with his hand. It made me frown, because him doing that was something new and I didn’t think I could get used to it. My guess was that he laughed to keep his stronger emotions inside. But why did he become so serious so quickly after he laughed? “The bad girl and the good boy. What would people even think, huh?”
