I Met Mr Darcy Via Luton

by Fredrica Edward

  "It is possible. I believe she was lucky, and I am not sure what she disclosed; but she is married, and happily, I believe."

  "In Yorkshire? That is where Jane lives, and it is next to Derbyshire… Is it possible I will run into this lady?"

  "Her husband is not within my circle of friends, but it is not impossible," Darcy said quietly.

  Elizabeth sighed.

  "I do not think you have cause to worry," he reassured her. "She is the sweetest thing."

  Elizabeth looked decidedly cross at this. "And you used her most abominably!"

  "Please forgive me, Elizabeth. I merely meant that I do not think she will do anything to come between us."

  "Why Yorkshire? You were not perhaps thinking of some future convenience?"

  "On my honour, I swear not! It was where she grew up, and where she wished to be. I was not entirely comfortable with her being so close, but it seemed churlish to deny her request. I only wished her well."

  "Very well, Fitzwilliam, enough. Are those all the skeletons in your closet?"

  "Yes."

  Elizabeth looked at him closely, but he returned her gaze earnestly.

  "You must let me think on this," she said, drawing away from him and standing up. Walking to the wardrobe, she held open the door.

  Darcy looked at her in disbelief at his summary dismissal. "You cannot be serious!" he uttered.

  She frowned. Clearly he takes his misdemeanours rather lightly.

  "I am hardly joking," she replied.

  Darcy saw a chasm yawn in front of him.

  "Please, Elizabeth!" he said jumping to his feet and sinking to his knees before her. He pressed his head against her belly. She felt something stir within it at his proximity, and it wasn't the petit fours she'd had at Gunter's.

  "Do not cry off!" he pleaded. "I do not think I can live without you!"

  "I promise I will do nothing rash," replied in Elizabeth, "but you need to give me some space. I want to talk to my Aunt Gardiner tomorrow."

  "Please, Elizabeth, no!" he said, looking up at her. "Surely we can work this out between us?"

  "Fitzwilliam, you can rely on my aunt's discretion. She was the only one I spoke to after Hunsford. I wish to a send a note to my aunt advising her that I would like to call on her tomorrow. I will go alone. Mary can stay here with Georgiana. I need to talk to her in private."

  "Very well," Darcy said reluctantly, getting to his feet. "As you wish."

  With a last soulful look, he disappeared into the wardrobe.

  Before retiring, Elizabeth wrote her note and set it on the salver in the hall.

  Chapter 58: Aunt Gardiner’s advice

  The next morning, Elizabeth went down to breakfast before Mary and Georgiana rose. The morning room was empty, but a footman appeared to take her order. She was not particularly hungry, requesting tea and toast only, which she ate quickly. When she requested the footman summon a hackney for her journey to Cheapside, he replied that the Darcy carriage was at her disposal. It seemed easier to take this than to argue.

  She arrived in the vestibule to find Darcy standing there, ready with her coat. He silently helped her into this, then walked down the steps to hand her into the carriage. He stepped back to let the footman put up the steps and stood as motionless as a statue as the coach drew away, his face a mask.

  The streets in Mayfair were largely deserted, but as they got closer to the City, the road became quite congested with carts and pedestrians vying for the same space. Soon they were travelling down Cheapside and Elizabeth began to recognise landmarks as they neared Gracechurch Street.

  Her aunt greeted her at the front door so soon after she banged the knocker that she must have seen the coach turn onto the street.

  "Elizabeth!" she said, giving her a quick hug and ushering her into the parlour. "I had hoped to meet you at the modiste today. Tommy is on the mend."

  Elizabeth waited until her aunt had closed the door before getting straight to the point. "I am having second thoughts, Aunt."

  "What has occurred?"

  "We had a talk a yesterday–about his past involvement with women. He already had a mistress, though he disputed with me when I called her such; and there have been others. He frequented a brothel."

  Mrs Gardiner sighed. "You seem to have had a very frank talk. I gather there wasn't a chaperone in the room. Are you being imposed upon? Would you prefer to move back here for the duration of your stay?"

  "Aunt, I'm not sure I can marry Mr Darcy. When Jane left, I felt so lonely, and I think that influenced my decision. I am also worried that my stubborn wish to thwart his Aunt Catherine forced my hand when I should have reflected more deeply…"

  "All our choices are coloured by the events that surround them, Elizabeth. Let us try to look at the problem as a whole. You have mentioned two adverse events that have made you question your decision: firstly, you discovered that Mr Darcy has a past; and secondly, that your decision was an emotional one. Is this the sum of your worries or is there more?

  "There is so much more, Aunt!"

  "Then we will go through each thing one by one, my dear. It is, after all, a life-changing decision. May I ask about the nature of your discussion: was there an argument? Did he get angry?"

  "No, Aunt, but the way he kisses and… the things he knows about underwear… it's quite clear that he is very experienced. So I asked him, and… he already had a mistress at the time he asked me to be his mistress."

  "Lizzy, would you mind relating the conversation to me as best you can remember it?"

  By the time Elizabeth had finished an almost verbatim account that also touched on the list of her wedding clothes, her aunt was quite surprised at the frankness of their discussion, not only because she knew her niece to be virtuous maiden, but also at Mr Darcy's willingness to engage on the topic. She knew many men would have considered it their own personal business.

  "Lizzy, it is very unusual for a man of money to come to a marriage an innocent. I recall we had a similar conversation before on Oakham Mount. I believe Mr Darcy is an extraordinary man. Clearly he was no angel, but he has answered you calmly and honestly. He is obviously a very careful man, and he is a planner. This much is in accord with what we learnt of him in Lambton. He acknowledged that he was not doing the right thing after you abused him at Hunsford and tried to make amends by ceasing his relationship with his paramour. He is also a very caring man; he could merely have paid out his mistress's contract and walked away, but he was concerned for her welfare."

  "That is true," replied Lizzy quietly. "But it is so unfair! Why must women be saints when men can do whatever they like!"

  "It is the way of the world," said her aunt. "But Mr Darcy has acknowledged the basic unfairness of it by changing his behaviour. He cannot erase the past. You must forgive him."

  "Aunt, I haven't told you the whole story,"

  "I'm still listening."

  "Fitzwilliam has been visiting me in my bedchamber."

  "Ah," replied her aunt. "You did mention that he kissed you. Has he forced you to do anything against your will? Have you anticipated your marriage vows?"

  "No, but I do not feel comfortable being alone with him so secretively."

  "I can understand that. Where are Mary and his sister? Does his sister not have a companion?"

  Elizabeth explained the sleeping arrangements and the secret stair.

  "Good grief!" replied her aunt. "The shifts that people go to!"

  Aunt Gardiner sat on her hands and thought for a moment.

  "So you are unhappy being imposed upon. This, I'm sure, is a problem we can fix. Besides Mr Darcy's overeagerness, are there any other problems?"

  "I just feel I am not cut out to be his wife, Aunt! I enjoy working at the hospital, and I do not think I wish to leave it. It makes me feel useful. Before Dr Gregory came along, all I did every day was make dresses and embroider handkerchiefs. It all seemed so self-serving and pointless! Nor do I wish to adopt any of the habits of the wom
en of Mr Darcy's set. At Netherfield, the Bingley sisters played cards all day, and Georgiana seems to spend her entire day playing the piano…"

  "What does Mr Darcy do all day?"

  "Well, he spent yesterday in the City regarding one of his investments…"

  "And what did he do at Netherfield?"

  "I believe he spent most of the day managing Mr Bingley's estate."

  "He does not sound slothful to me," said her aunt. "You should remember too that Mr Darcy purchased Netherfield so that you could continue your interest in medicine. Perhaps he would be willing to allow you to do something similar in Derbyshire?"

  "I think he would not wish his wife to be involved in such a thing."

  "Have you discussed it with him?"

  "No."

  "Then I think you should."

  Lizzy sighed.

  "Lizzy, may I ask how you feel about Mr Darcy? I know your view of his character has changed drastically since you first met him. Do you feel any affection for him?"

  "Yes, Aunt, of all the men I have met, he is the only one who I have ever felt tempted to marry. But I feel like I am being subsumed into him. I do not know if there will be any of me left. I will be like his dog!"

  "Are you physically attracted to him, Lizzy?"

  "I think he is handsome, the handsomest man I know, but what does that mean?"

  "When he kisses you, how does that make you feel?"

  "I feel out of control, Aunt. It scares me."

  "Lizzy, I think the biggest problems here are that you are scared of losing your independence and frightened of the feelings that Mr Darcy is stirring within you. Your anger about the clothing list is a good example. You didn't like it because he was managing you, but you specifically mentioned the nightgowns and underwear which pertain more to your feeling of being imposed upon."

  Mrs Gardiner could see from her niece's expressions that she had hit the mark.

  "With regard to retaining your independence, I think you need to stop worrying about Mr Darcy's past and talk to him about your future together. You need to encourage him to consult you on decisions that involve you."

  Lizzy nodded to indicate she was attending her aunt's words.

  "I think he is just trying to look after you. He has been his own master for many years now, as well as Master of Pemberley and guardian of Georgiana since his majority. It will take him some time to adjust those habits; but based on his past behaviour, I believe he would be willing to do that for you."

  Upon reflection, Lizzy agreed this was likely.

  "With regard to his amorous attentions, you need to set some ground rules. It is not unusual for people from any level of society to anticipate their marriage vows. Within the Ton, it is considered acceptable. That is why a gentleman can never cry off, but a lady may do so–she knows how much she has been compromised. If you are not comfortable doing that, let him know."

  "I have, Aunt, but I am not sure how in command of the situation he is. I don't even trust myself–these feelings threaten to overwhelm me."

  "Perhaps it would be best to avoid meeting in your bedchamber. You said the stair goes down to the library–why not meet him there? It would give you a chance to discuss your future together."

  "That's a good idea, Aunt."

  "I don't think it would hurt you to let him take some liberties either. It might assuage some of your worries about the wedding night."

  Lizzy was rather surprised by this suggestion.

  "I realise it's difficult for you to feel in control when he knows what he is doing and you don't. I'll get some tea, and we can discuss some strategies to cool Mr Darcy's ardour without using a carpet beater."

  After Lizzy had consumed a more leisurely second breakfast with her aunt, the Darcy carriage was summoned; and together they wended their way back to Mayfair.

  Mr Darcy was at his desk in the library when Mrs Gardiner was announced. After walking into the room, she made the unusual move of shutting the door behind her.

  "Good afternoon, Mr Darcy; I thought I would say hello before I departed with the ladies for the modiste."

  Darcy looked with some consternation at the closed door.

  "I won't keep you five minutes, Mr Darcy. Lizzy was having a few pre-wedding jitters. If you will excuse my impertinence, I have two pieces of advice for your future happiness: consult with Lizzy, and try to engage her on more neutral ground."

  "I'm not sure I understand you, Mrs Gardiner."

  "Your secret stair, Mr Darcy. The library might be a safer place to meet privately."

  Darcy blushed like a naughty schoolboy. "I had no wish to intimidate Elizabeth…"

  "I understand, Mr Darcy; but try to put yourself in her place–it's your house, but visitors might find it rather unnerving if they could not lock the door to their bedchamber; even one who is to eventually become your property."

  "I understand," he said, chagrined.

  "And the small matter of the clothing list for the modiste, Mr Darcy: if you write such a list again, ask Lizzy's opinion before finalising it…"

  "I was merely trying to help…"

  "I understand, and I sympathise, Mr Darcy; but its appearance in association with the other matter, containing items that were, shall we say, related… I believe the feeling of being imposed upon was compounded. You are a managing person, and she is a managing person. She's feeling overwhelmed. You need to work in partnership."

  Darcy looked at the blotter on his desk for a moment before raising his eyes again. "Thank you, Mrs Gardiner; I see that is wise advice."

  "And now let me have tea with your lovely sister before we step out. I believe my niece would like to speak to you privately."

  Mrs Gardiner had not long left the room when Elizabeth ran in and threw her arms around Darcy's neck. This was not the reception he had expected. Standing, he hugged her tightly.

  "I'm sorry if I caused you any pain, Fitzwilliam. Aunt has given me some useful advice, and I believe I understand you better now."

  "I am also sorry if I caused you any anxiety, my love. It was not my intention to do so."

  "I think it would be best if I went to the modiste as planned. Perhaps we could talk down here tonight after the others have retired?"

  Darcy's arms lingered around Elizabeth as he rocked her slightly from side to side before finally releasing her.

  "I love you, Elizabeth," he said, grateful the shoal had been passed without greater incident.

  Elizabeth stood on her tiptoes to give him a peck on the cheek, and he had the presence of mind to lean down to meet her lips; then she was off in a flurry of skirts, and Darcy heard Georgiana give a most unladylike squeal of delight from down the hall.

  Despite Elizabeth's protests regarding the frivolity of being the future Mrs Darcy, the trip to the modiste turned out to be a welcome distraction after the emotional upheavals during the past day. While their first visit to Bond Street had been fraught with indecision, the presence of her aunt made the rest of the day fun and resulted in great progress in ticking off items on the list.

  The wedding dress mock-up drew enthusiastic appreciation from Mrs Gardiner, much to the satisfaction of Madame Bouchet, who took the credit all for herself.

  After discussing the fashion plates that the girls had favoured on the previous day, Madame Bouchet matched them with suitable fabrics, and Mrs Gardiner suggested some alterations in colours and style to compliment Lizzy's complexion and physique.

  The modiste then suggested she have some of her girls model nightgowns and wrappers. Because these were looser garments, some were ready made. Nor were they unnecessarily revealing with the foundation garments the girls wore under them to prevent them being soiled by the models. Lizzy favoured three styles: one with vertical lace insets, another where the bust was constructed of cleverly twisted material, and a third that threatened to expose her navel. She knew the pink and peach colours chosen for the final garments would look well with her chestnut hair.

  By the tim
e madame was ready to close her doors for the day, the order had been finalised, and it only remained to return for the final adjustments once the fitted garments were ready. On the whole, it had been a very successful day for all concerned.

  Chapter 59: A chat in the library

  After depositing the three young ladies in Grosvenor Square, the Darcy carriage headed back towards the City to return Mrs Gardiner to her residence. Hearing the voices in the vestibule, Darcy appeared from the library to help them out of their coats.

  "Well, are you all exhausted from your shopping?" he smiled gently.

  "Hardly," replied Elizabeth, "we barely walked five feet."

  "My poor dear, I can see you are missing your country rambles."

  "I am going to have to learn to ride if I am to abide living in London. Either that, or have a footman trail after me all over Hyde Park."

  Darcy smiled to himself as he sat down to dinner with his sister and guests. He hoped to solve that problem shortly.

  When they withdrew to the parlour after dinner, Darcy indicated to Elizabeth to hang back and whispered he would meet her in the library an hour after she retired. Mary and Georgiana employed themselves with the piano as Mrs Annesley stitched by the fireside while Darcy and Elizabeth played a game of backgammon. After three games, the first two won by Elizabeth, and the last won easily by a suspicious Darcy; Elizabeth expressed a wish to retire.

  The girls went off to Georgiana's suite while Elizabeth lay down on her bed to think of the conversation before her. An hour later, when the piano had stopped tinkling next door, Elizabeth opened the door to her wardrobe.

  When Elizabeth entered the library, Darcy was sitting in a wingback chair, reading by the fireside, still in his daywear. He looked very solemn.

  "I hope you enjoyed your shopping trip today?" he said rather formally. He had spent the last half-hour staring at the same page of his book, trying to think of an opening gambit.

  "Yes, we finalised the order at Madame Bouchet's," replied Lizzy, sitting in a fauteuil opposite. "It all went so easily when Aunt was there."