The Fiancé (It's Just Us Here Book 6)

by Christopher X Sullivan

  Mark came home at three.

  We sat on the couch and discussed plans for tomorrow when my parents would stop by my apartment. Then Mark brought up our upcoming weekend apart and he once again tried to subtly trick me into going with him. But we both knew what had to happen before I reintroduced myself to his parents. That was my goal and I was going to stick to it. Mark was familiar with my goal obsession—it was a benefit of giving our relationship a second chance. I didn’t have to explain much about myself.

  My phone dinged at about three thirty. On a Wednesday.

  I knew who that was.

  Boss.

  “Aren’t you going to get that?” Mark asked.

  “No.”

  “What if it’s Suhail?”

  “It isn’t Suhail.”

  “What if it’s your lover?”

  “What!” I retorted, my heart racing.

  “Travis. Chill, bro. Who did you think I was talking about?” He chuckled, unaware of how close he had come to the truth.

  Mark got up and grabbed my phone. I nearly had a panic attack.

  “Some guy named ‘Boss’,” Mark said without interest. He tossed me my brick and walked into the kitchen.

  My fingers were nervous as I typed out my reply. The text was a variation of the same message that Boss sent me almost every Wednesday afternoon. He knew I didn’t like doing sex stuff any other day, and he made sure to take advantage of every Wednesday.

  = Sorry. We’re done. I won’t be seeing you again. I met someone. =

  My phone dinged almost immediately after I pressed send. It dinged again and again and again, like it was angry.

  I didn’t open the phone. Boss didn’t know where I lived or what I did for a living. I could block his number... probably. I had never done it before, but assumed it could be done.

  My phone rang.

  “Who is it?” Mark asked curiously. He returned to the couch with two cups of water.

  “Nobody.”

  “Answer it. Do you want me to go in the other room?” He was teasing, but then he saw the look on my face and frowned. “Who is it?”

  I answered my phone on the last ring. Boss berated me.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re up to, you little bastard?” He was loud and I had to hold the phone away from my ear.

  “Hey, sorry, we can’t do this anymore.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about? You little bitchy ass cunt. Get that pussy over here in the next thirty minutes. You worthless piece of shit. Get over here and do the one thing you’re good at.”

  “Boss. I’m done with this. I don’t need it anymore. Sorry.”

  I hung up the phone.

  “Who was that?” Mark asked with an edge to his voice. “Don’t say nobody. He was screaming at you.”

  “He’s a nobody,” I said. “He doesn’t matter. It’s in my past.”

  My phone rang again. It was Boss. I answered the phone and hung up immediately.

  “Who the fuck is that?” Mark demanded, chest heaving and eyes wild.

  “Don’t worry about it. I took care of it.”

  “Chris...” He used my name like he was about to ring my neck. “No secrets. I’ve told you all my shit. What the fuck is going on?”

  “I don’t want to upset you,” I pleaded. “This is all in the past. Don’t worry about it. I’m handling it.”

  “What are you handling! You sound like you’re in the mafia!”

  “Don’t be so dramatic.”

  He grabbed the phone from my hand—I hadn’t expected that move. He had always trusted me during our first relationship. “If you don’t tell me what’s going on, I’m going to call this douche and ask him myself.”

  “Don’t do that,” I said quickly. “He’s the guy...” I looked away from Mark and my face burned. “He’s the guy that... did, well...”

  “Did what?” Mark was on edge. “What did he do? Are you still on drugs?”

  “No,” I said dismissively, casting about for another possible explanation.

  “What could be worse than that!”

  I sighed, watched my fingers twine into a knot. “He’s the guy that fucked me.”

  Mark was so silent I thought he had died and I dared not look at him to confirm the diagnosis. He finally took one long, deep breath. “What do you mean, ‘the guy that fucked me’?”

  “I mean... I mean what I said. I was missing you, and he happened to be there. And he made an offer, and I accepted.”

  “Like, for money?”

  I shook my head.

  “Then for what?” he pleaded. “Why would you, you of all people, do that?” Mark looked like he was going to smack me. “Why, babe?”

  I kept my head lowered. My phone dinged and Mark opened the message immediately. He apparently didn’t like what he saw. He dialed the number and jumped to his feet.

  “Listen up you piece of shit,” he stated. “You are never to call this NUMBER AGAIN, or I will HUNT YOU DOWN and rip off your FUCKING PENCIL DICK. I’m going to pound your head through the pavement if you come near him!” Mark had taken the phone from his ear about halfway through the call and held it in front of his face as he shouted into it.

  “Don’t break my phone!”

  He hung up and almost slammed it into the floor, but held back at the last second. “I’m getting you a new phone!” he yelled. Then he threw the phone at me harder than he intended. Mark didn’t say he was sorry. He stalked out of the room and into the guest bedroom. By this point I knew the drill. I could hear him yelling and screaming so I gave him five minutes to cool off.

  After the cool-off period, I knocked lightly on the door and tried the handle. It was open.

  “Give me a few more minutes,” he said with a weak voice.

  “Do you want something to drink.”

  “Bring the tequila.”

  “I meant water. Do you want water?”

  “Sure,” he sighed. I pulled the door shut. Then I waited exactly ‘a few’ minutes and returned with water in one hand and tequila in the other. “I brought both,” I said while approaching him. I tried to sound cheerful, but it was all fake. Mark was devastated and looked at me through puffy eyes.

  “So who was that guy?” he whispered.

  Do you really want to know? “You don’t know him. He was a guy that helped me get over you.”

  “We’ve been broken up for eight months.”

  “I guess I still wasn’t over you. I—” I had to stop myself from crying. “I’ve been trying to move on... but it was hard.”

  “It was hard for me, too.”

  “You went out and fucked around,” I accused.

  “Of course I did. Were you keeping tabs on me?”

  “I saw Marty once,” I lied. Actually, I had called him. “I wanted to make sure you were moving on.”

  “Just because you go out and party, doesn't mean you’ve moved on.” He allowed me to lie on the bed next to him. “You’re the one who says he doesn’t want sex, but who writes all these crazy sex stories. I don’t know... I guess I’m just confused. Why did you need him?”

  “Let’s not talk about it.”

  “I need to understand,” he said, overriding me. “I mean, were you...” he gasped. “Were you, like, punishing yourself? Is that what this guy was doing?”

  Bingo.

  The tears were back in his eyes and falling fast.

  “Why do you do that?” he whined. “You shouldn’t do that to yourself. You’re so much better than that.”

  “It’s nothing.” Let it be nothing.

  “IT’S NOT NOTHING!” he roared suddenly. Then he got embarrassed and buried his head in the pillow so he didn’t have to look at me. “It’s not nothing,” he wailed.

  “It’s in the past.”

  “How did it happen?”

  “You don’t want to know the details. It happened. It’s over. Let’s move on.”

  “Tell me, Christopher. Did he call you on the weekend, or was it onl
y during the week. Was it only... on a Wednesday?”

  I didn’t answer, which was an answer in and of itself.

  “Why do you do this?” he wailed again. “Why do you punish yourself?” He was begging me, trying to fix whatever problem was in the wiring in my brain. “You are the most talented, kind, loving person I’ve ever met... why do you do this to yourself? Why?”

  “I’m not going to do it anymore.” At least not like this.

  “Not with this asshole,” Mark snapped fiercely. “And not while I’m around.” His demeanor changed. “Oh babe,” he said with a tremble in his voice. “I’m so sorry. Please, this never should have happened.”

  “I’m an adult. I made my own decisions.”

  He was sobbing, but I was clear-headed and ready to move on.

  “THIS IS A BIG DEAL,” he shouted again, like he was exorcising a demon. “You weren’t doing it for pleasure, you were doing it for punishment.”

  “Yes,” I agreed. “That’s over now.”

  Mark was completely gone. Over the deep end. Inconsolable. All I could do was lay there as he cried. It was like he had just learned one of his siblings had passed away unexpectedly. He pulled me into his body for a bear hug.

  “I’m here,” he said, over and over. “I’m here now. I’m always going to be here. Forget about that fucking douchebag. I’m fucking going to kill him.”

  “Calm down,” I said.

  “YOU CALM DOWN!”

  I moved my head away from his mouth.

  “Sorry.” He sobbed into my neck. “I’m so, so sorry.” He lightly touched my body, then the hiccups started.

  I eventually got him in the shower. It was still early in the afternoon. I managed to get him down to the gym, but we used the one in his building instead of walking to his expensive place. We showered together again. Then we lay in bed and held hands.

  Mark stroked my face. His eyes were still not quite right. He had been emotional all evening, more emotional than I had ever seen him, actually. I had seen him cry before, but never for an entire night.

  “You don’t even understand why this is such a big deal,” he said at one point.

  “It’s over.”

  “I said I would protect you,” he whispered. “That was my job. That’s what I’m supposed to do. Make sure shit like this doesn’t happen. I failed. I ran away.”

  “Stop,” I said. “I’m supposed to be the depressive one, not you.”

  He laughed harshly. “I haven’t been myself these last few months. The past two days have been the happiest in a long, long time.” He touched my face again. “I hate hearing about this... I hate that you did that. I never want you to punish yourself like that again.”

  “I won’t. You’re always going to be here for me.” I didn’t mean to taunt him, but my words sounded bitter.

  “You don’t believe me yet, but one day you will.” He kissed me on the forehead. “One day you’re going to look back, and we’ll have been together for a long time, and you’re going to think, where did all the time go? How did this happen?” He kissed me up the right side of my face, over my forehead, and then down the other side. “I will always come back to you,” he pledged. “And you’ll...?”

  “I’ll always be waiting for you,” I finished. “You shouldn’t even have to ask.”

  “I just like hearing you say it,” he said quietly. “This is fucking hard right now, but just you wait.” He kissed me on the lips. “Just you wait.”

  Beth

  THURSDAY MORNING BLOOMED and the tensions from the previous night were like a foggy, unpleasant dream. I woke up and Mark was almost completely covering my body. Normally, I was the one to throw a leg or an arm over him, which was how we had woken up on Tuesday and Wednesday... so Thursday morning was a real change of pace.

  I had to gently extract myself from under my Grumpy Bear. My movement woke him... it was impossible not to. He grumbled. I maneuvered him until he was on his side so I could escape and use the bathroom, then I returned to my sleeping beauty. I crawled onto the back side of the bed and took the big spoon position. He smelled so good... it was just the perfect way to drift off to sleep.

  I woke up again when Mark finally did at ten.

  “That was a rough night,” he commented.

  “Let’s make breakfast.”

  I cracked some eggs. He told me to relax because he wanted to make our meal. Mark placed the laptop in front of me and gave me his saddest look—just begging me to get back to my morning writing.

  I didn’t.

  Instead I helped him with the food. We ate. He didn’t comment on my broken writing habit.

  Mark was very attentive to me that morning. He watched my every move and tried to predict my every thought. It got annoying.

  We somehow made it through the friction. He never left my side while I made phone calls, took notes, and read through grant proposals. He didn’t even go to the gym like usual because he assured me would go while I was eating dinner with my parents.

  Then it was time for our short separation. First, I had to wait in my apartment for my parents to arrive and then we would eat dinner and then Mark could come over after everyone left. It was a simple plan. We would later encounter so many unforeseen obstacles that would shatter the plan into a million tiny pieces.

  Our first problem was that Suhail chose Thursday night to move his stuff (he always was kind of a procrastinator), which meant that Melanie was right there helping him. They were loading both of their vehicles when I parked beside them. I helped them move because Melanie really needed to be gone before my parents arrived, just to be safe.

  Mel was pleasant. She asked how I was doing. I said “fine” and didn’t ask her about Mark, seeing as I had just seen him half an hour ago and had slept in his arms the past few nights. Then I started to worry that maybe this would appear unnatural and maybe if I hadn’t just reconnected with Mark a couple days prior then I would have asked Mel about him.

  With those thoughts sabotaging me, I managed to find some alone time with Mel while we walked up the stairs.

  “So, uh... how’s Mark?”

  “He’s doing better.”

  “Me too,” I said quickly and let the topic drop. I couldn’t look her in the face after my small deception. It was practically a lie: How’s Mark doing... because I don’t know, how would I know, I haven’t seen him in a long time and I was just wondering... nothing to see here, nothing suspicious, keep on moving, that’s it, like I didn’t just incriminate myself.

  Then my parents showed up with dinner. My mom usually made enough for three people (me, Nick and Suhail), but that night she had made enough for half a dozen. My parents had invited themselves over to wish Suhail goodbye and to share one last meal with him. I told my mom that this going away dinner wasn’t necessary, but she knew how much time I spent with Suhail and how good of friends we had become. She wanted to do this dinner... and when she wanted to do something, you just got out of the way and let her do it.

  My mom walked in with a salad bowl under one arm and a carrying case in the other. My father had a large tray of stuffed peppers. I helped my mom set the food on the kitchen counter. Nick cleared the table. My father helped Travis assemble the two oval half-tables into a proper table in the center of the living room. Nick found enough folding chairs for all of us.

  Then Suhail walked in the apartment followed by Melanie. They both smiled. Suhail introduced his girlfriend.

  “Oh yes,” my mother said. “Your brother helped organize Chris’s book party.” I about turned into a puddle; I’m sure my face was twisted in an expression of pure horror. “How is he doing? Such a charming young man.”

  “Oh, uh. Mark,” Melanie stumbled through the niceties. “Yeah, he’s doing well. Haven’t heard from him much lately. Doing a lot of commercial advertising that keeps him busy.” She glanced at me as if to apologize.

  I pulled everyone into the living room and attempted to distract my mother from asking any more probin
g questions of Melanie. How the fuck did she come up with that? Pulled it out of her ass? That was eight months ago!

  My armpits were sweating big time. It felt like my entire life was about to come apart at the seams. I was trying to hide Mark from Melanie and forcing Suhail to keep my secret. Travis could slip up at any time and bring up my ‘new-old boyfriend’. Nick could be trusted to stay mostly silent unless he was talking about computer stuff and wasn’t stoned. And any of these friends could reveal to my parents that my former partner had been a man.

  I was, once again, in the position of hiding Mark from my parents. Not where I wanted to be. I knew then, as I had probably always known, that I needed to be upfront about this... the relationship needed to come into the light so that it had a chance to live. It was shameful to keep such a good man from being a true member of my family—I had to come out. Four people in that apartment knew I had been with a man... and they didn’t care.

  I could do it.

  I was going to do it.

  I wasn’t going to do it right then, not as we were wishing Suhail good luck. Fuck, it’s always like me... trying to steal someone else’s thunder... and, shit, Mel will be caught off guard by this revelation.

  My phone rang.

  “Are you going to get that?” my mom asked.

  “It’s not important. All the people that call me are in this room,” I said. Except one. Fuck! Except one!

  My phone stopped ringing. It rang again fifteen seconds later. “Guess I have to get that. Sorry.” No one else apologized when they texted at the dinner table or took a call—I really was behind the times.

  I went into my tiny bedroom and checked the caller ID. It was Tim.

  “Hey Tim. I’m kind of busy now.”

  “You need to get over here. ASAP.” There was yelling in the background behind his voice. I distinctly heard Stacy holler like I had never heard her yell before.

  “What’s going on?”

  “It’s Mark—”

  “Oh shit.” What’s he doing there? She hates him... “Oh shit, oh shit.” I kept my voice low. “What, uh... what’s he—” I heard something crash like it had been thrown across the room. My imagination went wild.