Her Protector

by Rianna Campbell

  Am I living, though?

  She was functioning, as he’d said. She had healthy relationships with the few friends she had and with her family. She had a career, she had hobbies. Was it enough to say she was really living? It had been for years. But now…

  “Thank you.” She said.

  “You’re welcome.” He smiled. “Now if we’re done thanking each other, we should get some sleep.”

  She frowned and before she could ask, Connor spoke up.

  “I’m not leaving you in this state. I was on my way out before, when you were asleep, but I can’t leave you alone knowing you might need me again. It’s for your own safety. Can’t have you fainting in the bathroom and cracking your skull now, can we?”

  Alexandra gave him a skeptical look and he offered her a sheepish smile.

  “Besides, it’s well past midnight and I’m knackered.”

  Alexandra closed her eyes, thinking she must be out of her mind, but at the same time, she was grateful to have someone with her so she wasn’t alone. She said nothing, simply scooted farther under the covers and rolled over. She felt the bed dip and shift as he settled in beside her. Once he stilled she risked a glance.

  He was still fully clothed, though he’d removed his shoes- and socks, of course- and his sweatshirt. He was on top of the covers and turned to face the door. Two thoughts struck at once. She mentally drooled over the muscled expanse of his broad back, and his taut backside. And it was sweet of him to give her as much distance as possible while sharing the same bed.

  He might have pressed her into letting him stay, and she might be an idiot for believing this, but she really felt like he only wanted to be there for her. No ulterior motive. No agenda. He just acknowledged that she was having an awful night and that she needed someone to be here with her- for her- when she needed it.

  “Aren’t you going to be cold?” She asked, concerned. Although as soon as she said it, she realized it gave away her covert observation.

  He rolled onto his back and his unbelievably blue eyes were amused.

  “Nah,” He shrugged. “I’m a furnace, or so I’ve been told. Sleeping with a blanket just means I wake up sweating.”

  Alexandra scrunched her face in distaste. She couldn’t imagine not having… something, anything to cover up with. Even when it was unbearably hot, she still had a sheet draped over most of her at night. She just… couldn’t sleep without one.

  “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Sleep now.” He murmured. Alexandra rolled over and closed her eyes. She was tired, hell she was exhausted, but sleep was a long time coming.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  When she did sleep, it wasn’t soundly. She awoke twice more throughout the early morning hours, not from nightmares, but her body just seemed too tense to allow her to sleep for long.

  Each time she woke, Connor was there, murmuring soothingly, rubbing her back, until she fell asleep again. After the last time, she must have slept more soundly, because the sun was streaming through the curtains and her body retained the weight and warmth of a deep sleep. Her head ached slightly, but she was warm. Too warm.

  She cracked an eye open to survey the situation. She half expected to see Connor had gotten up already. Possibly he’d already left. She hadn’t expected to see his sleeping face, mere inches from hers. God he was beautiful.

  Up close he was even more handsome, which was rarely the case. His eyelashes were dark and long, his dark hair was rumpled and falling into his face and his lips, which were parted slightly in sleep, were full and tempting.

  She lifted her head slightly and realized that she was so close because her head was actually resting on his arm. He was still on top of the covers, leaving a barrier between them, but his right arm was snaked under her head and wrapped around her shoulder. His left arm, and his left leg for that matter, were thrown over her.

  She was completely surrounded in sexy Scotsman and she had no idea what to do about it. She had a very pleasant idea, actually, but realistically, she was all but panicking. He’d taken pity on her last night and taken care of her in her wretched state, and now here they were cuddling. CUDDLING, for fuck’s sake. She couldn’t possibly come off more clingy and needy if she tattooed “property of Connor’ on her forehead.

  Damnit, Alexandra, get your shit together.

  She took a calming breath and decided she needed to extricate herself carefully without waking him. Put some distance between them, so that she didn’t come off like such a psycho.

  Oh. My. God. What if he starts thinking this is all a ruse to get a guy to spend all this time with me? What if he starts to think I posed for those photos so Daddy would hire me a hot bodyguard who’d have to stay with me all the time?

  She groaned. They’d even decided he’d pretend to be her boyfriend around her friends. Wait, that was his idea. He’d introduced himself that way without her instigation and out of the blue. And she’d been pissed at the time.

  She realized she was monumentally overreacting and she took a few more deep breaths. One thing at a time. She checked to make sure he was solidly asleep and then she very slowly and carefully rolled onto her back, her plan being to slip sideways out of the bed and hightail it for the bathroom.

  She shifted fully onto her back to find his hand had slipped from her back to her front in the process. On her right breast to be precise. She held her breath and began scooting sideways toward the edge of the bed. By necessity his hand slid over both her breasts in the process. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her breath was coming in small pants.

  After a small eternity, she was able to slide one leg, and then the other, off the bed. Keeping her torso as horizontal as possible, she slipped free and stood. She walked quietly backward to the bathroom, afraid to breathe in case he woke.

  Once inside, she shut the door and sagged in relief. She locked the door, turned on the shower and began stripping out of her clothes. She stepped in and spent several long minutes letting the hot water sluice over her skin, trying to find her calm center after the hurricane that had been the last 24 hours. Only then did she proceed with her usual routine.

  ✽✽✽

  I deserve fecking sainthood for this.

  Connor immediately winced, knowing his Gran would be rolling in her grave at that. Staunch Catholic, she didn’t appreciate any kind of irreverence when it came to such things.

  But it was an honest reaction. He woke up more than half an hour ago. At first he’d just watched Alexandra sleep and took in all the details of her face. The gentle curves of her jaw and the soft slope of her nose lightly dotted with freckles. The long dark lashes against her smooth, fair skin. He hadn’t intended to end up this close to her, at least not yet, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to enjoy it a little.

  Then he’d been trying to figure out what to do about it. He knew she’d be embarrassed to wake up like this, even though she shouldn’t be, she’d had a hard enough night as it was. His best option was to try and slip out without waking her and let her wake up on her own. He was set to do just that when she stirred, her lashes fluttering slightly, and emitted a soft contented sigh that almost made him groan.

  He was already glad for the blanket between them, but even more so after that sigh she made. Otherwise, it would have been even more awkward.

  “Good morning, and yes that is my tadger pokin’ ye.”

  His window for slipping away completely gone, he decided the next best thing was to pretend to still be sleeping, so that she could be the one to slip away and thus still preserve her dignity. She’d still be embarrassed, no doubt, but at least she could believe that he’d never know that they’d spent part of the night tangled together.

  He kept his body, what parts he could control, carefully limp and focused on deep, even breaths to mimic sleep. When his hand slid, entirely by accident, to her breasts- first one, then the other, it had taken every ounce of will he had not to react. Sweet Lord, but they were amazing. The perfect size, the perfe
ct combination of firm and soft and entirely natural.

  He held perfectly still, but as soon as he heard the bathroom door close softly, he cracked an eye open and adjusted himself. His jeans were becoming increasingly uncomfortable. He rolled over, to his side to get more comfortable, but waited until he heard the shower before getting out of bed.

  He went downstairs into the kitchen and hunted for the supplies to make coffee, giving her privacy to shower and dress. She’d reasonably assume that the shower had woken him and he’d gone foraging for coffee.

  ✽✽✽

  Seeing that the bedroom was momentarily empty, she quickly retrieved some clothes and retreated to the bathroom again. She’d forgotten to grab underwear in her haste, but decided not to risk going back for them since she didn’t know where Connor had gone.

  Her stomach rumbled and she realized she was starving. She was going to have to do some shopping since she was practically out of food, which meant that Connor was going to have to spend at least part of the day with her. The idea made her smile.

  When she found him, Connor was leaning against the counter in the kitchen, sipping coffee from her favorite mug. She gave him a scowl as she reached into the cupboard for her backup.

  “That’s my favorite one, you know.” She said as she poured herself a cup from the steaming pot.

  “Sorry, lass.” He grinned. “You snooze, you lose.”

  “Excuse me, but I was up first.” She retorted, even though she was struggling not to smile.

  “Very true.” He nodded. There was clear amusement in his eyes. “Tell you what. Next time I sleep over, I’ll use a different mug.”

  Next time…

  She stared, dumbfounded. Heat rose predictably on her cheeks, but she ignored it and looked him in the eye.

  “See that you do.”

  He raised an eyebrow in surprise and then a slow smile spread across those too tempting lips. His eyes had gone from amused to hungry in mere seconds. She willed her hands to remain steady as she took her time adding the right amount of cream and sugar. The right amount for her was a buttload of each.

  She sipped, groaned slightly in appreciation and leaned against the island opposite Connor. She noticed he was barefoot and for some reason it thrilled her. He looked so relaxed in his rumpled clothes with his hair a sexy mess, drinking coffee barefoot in her kitchen. Such a domestic scene, but anything but boring.

  Connor’s stomach grumbled and he gave her another one of those sheepish smiles that made him look so charmingly boyish.

  “Hungry?” She asked. He nodded. She yanked open the fridge’s double doors and started scrounging. She really needed to go shopping. She finally started pulling out ingredients for something she could throw together fast. Eggs, shredded cheese, a package of ham, half a green pepper and half an onion. She also grabbed butter, and a couple potatoes from the pantry.

  “Need help?” He asked, setting his coffee cup aside.

  “Sure. Can you peel the potatoes?” She asked. He grinned as she handed him a paring knife and a glass bowl.

  “It’s pronounced tatties, and I think I can manage.”

  She retrieved a cutting board and chopped the peppers and onions, and then diced the ham. As she worked she checked his progress with the potatoes. He had some impressive skills with a knife. That should probably scare her more than it did. He peeled the potatoes efficiently and without wasting the tiniest bit of the flesh. And he did so quickly.

  “You cook much?” She asked.

  “Some.” He shrugged, now dicing the potatoes into perfect cubes. “Da was a terrible cook. Burned everything, even water. It was either learn to do for myself or spend all my money on pub food every summer.”

  “What about your mom?” His hand stilled for an instant and his brows drew together a fraction.

  “She was a decent cook, but she wasn’t home much. We always had plenty of easy meals in the fridge that we could make ourselves, and she’d always leave us a little money for take away.”

  “Sounds like you were pretty independent as a kid.” She said quietly. She got the impression it wasn’t fun for him. It seemed as though he hadn’t had a choice. He shrugged again. He took the bowl of peels and tossed them in the garbage, swiped the potatoes into the bowl and rinsed them a few times in the sink. Alexandra was just about to change the subject to try and salvage the conversation when he surprised her.

  “It was hard having to take care of myself and Angel most of the time. I felt bad in the summers when I was gone and she had to stay with our grandmother.”

  “I can understand that.” She nodded. She’d put water on to boil and retrieved a cast iron skillet from the cabinet. She sipped her coffee as she waited for the water to boil.

  “You seem pretty close to her. How close are you in age?”

  “Five years. I’m 32, she’s 27.”

  “What does she do?” Alexandra asked.

  “She’s a nurse.” He replied. “Pediatrics.” He added with pride.

  “Wow.” Alexandra said honestly. “That must take a lot. I certainly couldn’t deal with sick kids.”

  “Ah, she’s grand with the wee ones.” Alexandra snickered and Connor grinned.

  “She sounds wonderful. You must be very proud.”

  “That I am. She’s had a rough go of things since Ma died.”

  “One thing I’m curious about,” Alexandra began. “But if it’s too personal, feel free to tell me to bugger off.” Connor chuckled at her attempt at slang, and she smiled. “You said your mom was a flight attendant and your father was Scottish.”

  “Yeah.”

  “But they were married at some point?”

  “For a while.” He sighed. “They met when she had a three day layover in Glasgow. She went and saw the sights the first day and then ended up in a pub for a pint and some dinner. She met my Da and they talked and had a few drinks. She went home with him that night and they spent the next day together. He took her to the airport and dropped her off with his phone number. Said if she was ever in town again to ring him.

  “She went home and about two months later found out she was pregnant. She called him and told him. Said she didn’t want anything but that she thought he’d want to know. He wanted to be involved so they kept in touch. Over that seven months, they talked a lot and decided they wanted to try to make things work between them. After I was born, we moved to Scotland.

  “Da was almost done with law school when they met and by the time I came along he was licensed to practice and Mom could conceivably be based anywhere with her job. According to Da, things were good for a while. Mom went back to work, but tried to limit it to the weekends. They were together for about a year when Mom started to work more. By the time I was three, she’d be gone days at a time and he’d had to hire a nanny so he could work.

  “They fought about it for another year and she said she didn’t want to have to give up her career or her life for him. That she could do just fine without him and still take care of me. So when I was four we moved back here and moved in with her mother. Her mother would watch me while she worked, which was a lot.”

  “How did your dad take it?”

  “Poorly. He loved her and he was sad they couldn’t work it out, but he still wanted to see me. She insisted he could come see me whenever he wanted, but she wouldn’t bring me to him. He offered to pay so that she could afford to come to Scotland with me a few times a year, but she refused.

  “Finally when I was eight years old, he decided that seeing me for a week twice a year wasn’t good enough. He threatened to take her to court and sue for custody. He didn’t want to but he was out of options. If he moved here, he would have had to start over from scratch. His parents were still alive and his brothers. So, they came to an arrangement. I would spend my summers there, along with two weeks in the winter, as long as I was in New York for Christmas.”

  “That’s so sad.” Alexandra said, touching his arm. “It sounds like they really loved each oth
er in the beginning.”

  Connor nodded. “Mom just loved herself more.”

  “I’m sorry, Connor.” She murmured.

  He gave her a strange look.

  “What?”

  “That’s the first time you’ve used my name.”

  Alexandra shuffled a little nervously. “I guess it is.”

  “I like the way it sounds.” Connor said softly. He touched her cheek with the back of his hand, dragging it down along her jaw to her chin. He tilted her chin up and brushed his thumb gently across her lips. Back and forth. Her heart hammered in her chest and her skin tingled from her scalp to her toes.

  His touch was electric. She shivered and goosebumps scattered across her skin. Her eyes flickered from his mouth to those intense eyes. Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me… Her body hummed.

  His other hand had found her hip and he pulled her closer, slowly. It was agonizing. Their bodies now flush, she could feel all those delicious muscles beneath his shirt. His stomach, his chest, even his thighs, were rock solid. And warm. Heat radiated off him as if he actually were a furnace. She could feel it through both layers of clothes.

  The brush of his thumb on her lips stopped and she almost whimpered at the loss of that connection. But he cupped her face instead and, just as he had with her body, he pulled her closer, millimeter by millimeter, silently asking permission. He was giving her a chance to resist, to say no.

  And that did it. That sweet patience. Waiting to be sure that she wanted his kiss. Making no mistake about his intentions and letting her make the decision. He was offering her something, making himself vulnerable, and giving her the space to reject him. Not only was it painfully sweet, it was enormously brave.

  Instead of merely allowing him to pull her closer, fractionally, she tilted her head back and stood on tiptoe, leaving only a hair’s breadth between their lips. She would be brave. She would offer his invitation back to him. She would say YES!, loudly but without words. He made a satisfied rumble in his chest, cupping the nape of her neck in his hand and pulling her to him That kiss melted her completely.