Forever & Ever

by Tere Michaels

  Then he was going to take ten back for not tattling.

  “She told me my shirt was inappropriate for dinner. It was one about laughing at my own jokes because I’m hilarious?”

  “And Elizabeth got mad because she bought it for you?”

  “No, because she said we were at a freaking Applebee’s and that’s not exactly black-tie and maybe Leah should stop telling me how to dress.”

  “I once arrested someone at a Subway on the Lower East Side wearing a thong and a Viking hat,” Matt said, elbowing Danny in the side. “Maybe keep that in mind as a potential date outfit.”

  Danny snorted out a laugh, but it petered out quickly. “I don’t know if there’ll be another time, to be honest. Like—I have school and work, and we’re talking about doing a big kayaking trip in a few months out West. I can’t be like, ‘Oh hey, Leah, can I hang out with my friends? Can I leave the state? Can I go home and have dinner?’”

  “She didn’t want you coming home for dinner?”

  Danny shrugged. “She made a face whenever I mentioned it.”

  “Yeah, so, there are about forty red flags going on right now. I don’t like the way this started, and I sure as hell don’t like her isolating you from your family and friends.”

  He waited for Danny to defend Leah, assure Matt that wasn’t the case, but his silence—and the averted face—told him what he needed to know. Danny knew this wasn’t right.

  Thank God.

  Matt patted his knee, then twisted and turned and hung on to the wall so he could stand up. “I’m going to go ask Leah to leave and hopefully not have to hide evidence to keep your father out of jail.”

  “Do you want me to….”

  “No, you go wait in the back room. We’ll talk about you breaking up with her after the house is clear.”

  Danny went back to looking miserable—less green, but still miserable—and slowly got up. Matt made a calculated move, opening his arms to offer a hug. Without hesitation, Danny wrapped his arms around him, giving him a strong squeeze.

  “Why are you so tall? It’s disconcerting,” Matt murmured, thumping Danny on the back. “Are you standing on a box?”

  “Thanks, Matt.”

  Matt tightened his grip. “Anytime, kid.”

  He gently pushed Danny in the opposite direction, then counted to one hundred before taking a step. After all this was over, a long-distance call to Liz the Shrink was going to need to happen.

  WHEN DANNY disappeared down the hall with Matt in hot pursuit, Evan felt everything tilt sideways. He thought he had everything under control—rational, logical, trust your adult son. But one look at “Call Me Leah” at his table and his terrified-looking kid—because he was still a kid, and no matter what Evan’s life was like at twenty, Danny wasn’t him—and oh. Yeah. The sudden anger took him by surprise.

  “Maybe I should—” Leah started, but Evan held his hand up.

  “No.” He breathed. “Please.”

  She settled back in her chair, her gaze direct and unflinching. She wasn’t going to back down, even if she knew she should. All those interrogations proved helpful in real humdrum life.

  “He desperately wants your approval,” Leah said, folding her hands on the table in front of her. “About me, about school. I’ve tried my best to help him… separate himself from wanting a committee vote on everything he does. Particularly with regards to his sister.”

  “So he just needs your approval?”

  She wrinkled her nose. “That isn’t what I said.”

  “Elizabeth and Danny are close—always have been. No girlfriend is going to break that apart.”

  She bristled at that, shoulders going up to her ears. “While I can appreciate the twin dynamic, Danny has to be able to live his own life. Make his own decisions. I merely suggested that to him. Unless you’re suggesting he live the life of a monk because his sister—”

  “His sister is my daughter, so let’s dial back the criticism.” Evan used the same tone he did in meetings where his presence felt like window dressing and all he wanted to do was quit on the spot.

  Or throw a couch out the window.

  Leah’s face pinched with displeasure; she sat back with a huffing sigh, all pretense of calm and collected discarded.

  “This seems a lot of work to date a twenty-year-old,” Matt said, walking back into the kitchen.

  “That isn’t your choice,” Leah snapped, standing up as she slammed her hand on the table. “And I don’t appreciate your implication.”

  Matt put his hands up in supplication. “No implication. Just saying, there have to be better choices for a relationship, unless this is about to turn into you telling us you’d like his hand in marriage.”

  Evan bit his tongue at the hypothetical. If she said anything of the sort, he was going to require a sedative.

  “You’re being ridiculous.” Leah gathered her purse and coat off the chair next to her. “Blowing everything out of proportion. We were trying to be proactive—”

  “We’re being concerned about our son. I’m not going to apologize for that.” Matt crossed his arms over this chest, a wide-legged stance Evan labeled security professional in his head.

  “Danny is free to make his own choices, Leah. I’ve already said that. But this family… we’re involved with each other’s lives. Not apologizing for that either.”

  A cold silence settled over the room.

  “Leah? Can we talk outside?” Danny ducked out from behind Matt, still looking pale and shaky. “I think we’re done here.”

  Like magnets, Evan’s gaze snicked with Matt’s; the serious cop face wavered briefly as his husband tried not to laugh. “You okay, Danny?”

  “Fine.” Danny walked toward the living room, clearly expecting Leah to follow him. She did, looking none too happy about it. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

  Leah shot them each a glare, then hustled out, nearly hip-checking Matt on her way.

  “Not going to lie—I’m really glad she hates us,” Matt said as they disappeared.

  Evan heard the front door open and then close with a slam. “Good. As long as he doesn’t, I don’t give a shit.” He rubbed his forehead. “That was—I don’t know what that was. Is he all right?”

  “Stress and panic with a beer chaser.” Matt sat down at the table, pulling the danish ring box closer. “This whole thing was a lot more serious than we thought.” Matt frowned as he opened the box. “She did a number on him.”

  Evan’s stomach dropped. “I should have handled this better. I should have talked to him sooner….”

  “Yeah. Not gonna lie.” Matt tore off a hunk of danish, dropping bits of walnuts and sugar coating on the tablecloth. “Not our finest moment.”

  “I want to go stand by the front window like when Katie used to come home from dates.” He walked toward the living room, then back again, digging his hands into his pockets. No, he shouldn’t do that. No—he really should.

  “He came out to handle it—that’s something. A good sign.”

  Evan knew when Matt was sugarcoating something to keep Evan from losing his shit. The tone of his voice, the way he avoided eye contact.

  “What should we do?” Evan hovered between the living and dining rooms.

  “Give him a few minutes. If he doesn’t come back, we kick open the door and you flash your damn badge.” Matt wiped his face on a napkin. “But uh—after that? I’m calling Liz. And then we’re contacting that goddamn school.”

  Evan’s brain tried to process everything; his blood pressure peaked into a painful headache at the back of his head. Anger and a ton of shame rushed through him. They’d failed Danny on this one.

  “How can she be wrong and right at the same time?” he mused.

  Matt ripped off another hunk. “Meaning?”

  “He’s allowed to make his own choices. He’s his own person. He’s twenty! He should stand up to us.” Evan sighed, picking walnuts off the ring. “All of that is true. And his sexual—” He swallo
wed. “—relationships are his own. I don’t want to meddle in that.”

  “But.”

  “But. He’s also young. Maybe younger than we realized.”

  “Might be. Then again, he could have stayed hidden in the back, but he chose to come out and face her.” Matt shrugged. “That’s something.”

  THEY FINISHED the danish and two beers each before the front door opened again. Evan had remained at the table, and Matt’s “leave him be” speech worked well on both of them, because Matt wanted to check on things himself about a hundred times.

  Matt’s knee did a jig that rattled the table as Evan tightened his grip on the bottle.

  Only Danny returned, looking worn-out and cold as he walked back into the dining room. “Is it stupid to want a beer right now?”

  “Yes. Because you’re not twenty-one yet,” Evan said as he got up. “But I can get you coffee.” He didn’t resist the urge to wrap his arms around Danny, hugging him tightly.

  When he felt Danny relax a bit, Evan let him go. “Milk and sugar?”

  Danny nodded, his entire body sagging as he plopped into an open chair. “Is there anything to eat?”

  “That’s a good sign.” Matt winked up at Evan. “I’ll make coffee and dig out the Drake’s Coffee Cakes I hid in the pantry. Talk to your father.” He leaned over to ruffle Danny’s hair. “Then take a shower, you’re disgusting.”

  When they were alone, Evan cleared his throat. “So. Are you single again?”

  Danny thunked his head down on the table. “Ugh.”

  “I’m sorry, Danny.”

  “Why? Because I’m an idiot? Probably not your fault.”

  “We can debate that after you have a coffee cake in your system.”

  “I broke up with her, but like—awkward because we are on the same campus.”

  Evan shifted in his seat, leaning against the table. “You have any classes with her?”

  “No. Just—I see her around, you know?”

  “If she gives you any trouble, you tell me.”

  “Daaaaaaad.”

  “I’m serious.”

  Danny sat up abruptly, his expression a view of stubbornness Evan remembered seeing in many a mirror. “I’m a man. I can handle myself.”

  Evan suppressed a wince. “I know,” he said gently. “But she is still a teacher at the school, and I don’t want her to start any trouble.” The fact that Danny went to a place of protecting himself made his stomach twist. “And… if she confronts you on campus or your dorm, if she seems like she’s going to put her hands on you….”

  With a swallow, Danny shook his head. “Dad, she’s never done anything like that.”

  “Okay, okay. Good.” Evan put his hand on Danny’s shoulder. “If that changes, you let me know.”

  Matt’s whistling broke the tension slightly as he returned, carrying two cups and a coffee cake under each arm. “You need a restraining order?”

  “Matt. Not funny.”

  “Security cameras?”

  Danny laughed weakly. “I’m okay. Leah’s not dangerous. Just… intense.”

  “Blow-up doll?”

  “Matt, I swear to God.” Evan tried not to crack, he really did. “This is serious.”

  “Have you considered men?”

  “Matt!” He barely managed to choke back laughter—something Danny didn’t bother to do.

  Matt put a mug in front of Danny, then lifted his elbow so a cake fell in front of him. “Just for that, you don’t get a Drake’s.”

  “My first relationship was a doozy,” Danny said finally, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. “I think I’m going to take a break for a while.”

  “Good idea,” Matt said, sitting down. “You should try sleeping around.”

  “You’re sleeping on the couch forever.”

  Matt ignored Evan entirely. “There’s some learning to be done here, okay? And I think maybe you should talk to someone….”

  “I’m talking to you,” Danny pointed out.

  “Right, but there’s this whole thing that goes along with talking to your father, and your incredibly cool stepfather, that might not be the most helpful solution.”

  Danny frowned. “You mean like a shrink?”

  “I get ninety-nine percent off all services from my friend Liz, and you don’t even have to lie on her couch. Just… give her a call.”

  Evan cleared his throat. “I know it’s easy to brush this aside and pretend like it’s no big deal.”

  “I like that idea better.”

  “But.”

  “This sucks.”

  Matt unwrapped a coffee cake, then nudged it in front of Danny. “Sucks hard. But you ended it, and that’s great. Now, you just have to deal with your….”

  Danny shoved nearly the entire cake into his mouth.

  “Feelings,” Evan provided as Danny covered his eyes with both hands. “Sorry.”

  FIVE WEEKS later Evan’s phone buzzed as he walked from the car to the house, a bag of takeout in one hand and a briefcase overflowing with paperwork that represented the rest of his evening in the other. Juggling everything, he managed to pull it from his pocket.

  No text, just a picture—of Danny and a young woman Evan had been acquainted with since the twins were in kindergarten. They were smiling, heads pressed together, his son looking glowingly happy.

  Five weeks of conversations with Liz the Shrink, and a meeting with the dean no one wanted to have. Five weeks of Evan making an effort—with support from Matt and the rest of the kids—to keep Danny talking and finding comfort in his family. A few days’ worth of gut-busting stress aside, Danny seemed to be coming out the other side with a better sense of himself and a mature attitude that settled Evan’s nerves about his future.

  And this text suggested Danny’s future had just gotten a bit more populated.

  Jane says hi, Danny texted him a second later. Then, dinner soon?

  Absolutely, Evan sent back, a smile spreading across his face.

  5: It’s Always the Quiet Ones

  EVAN WASN’T sure when it happened. One day he was bringing the twins home from the hospital, and the next Elizabeth was sitting across from him and Matt at the kitchen table with police academy brochures.

  A flicker of pride, coupled with pure abject fear, tempered him as he listened to his youngest daughter—and the quietest, most sensitive of the bunch—rattle off thoughts about the orientation she’d just attended.

  Her liberal arts credits weren’t a waste, she insisted. No, they’d just provided her with a feeling of the world around her, and history and abstract thinking. She’d take some criminal justice in her junior year and then move to the academy when she graduated.

  It was decided.

  Except Evan’s brain jumped and danced over a list of things, both rational and not, that kept him nodding and nodding and not much else. In moments like this, when Evan disappeared into a whirling mass of overthinking and panic, it was Matt’s job to rescue everyone until Evan came back online.

  Those were the rules. Except, of course, at this moment, when Evan’s nodding was coupled with Matt’s silence.

  Stone.

  Cold.

  Silence.

  Silent enough to signal Evan’s brain. He blinked a few times, then tried to emulate WWMD (what would Matt do)—just in the nick of time.

  Elizabeth finished her breathless recitation, then looked expectantly at her father and stepfather.

  “How does that sound?” Her eyes were big and excited, and for a young woman who scarcely peeped louder than a whisper, she seemed to be almost shouting now. I picked this. This is my decision.

  “Wow, you’ve really thought this out,” Evan said, testing each word on his tongue before it slipped out. “What do you need your old dads for?” The latter was a joke that wobbled on its landing.

  Elizabeth’s smile deflated a watt or two. “Well—I mean, you guys have both done this, and I… I wanted to make sure you thought it sounded right. The
way I want to do it.”

  Still nothing from Matt. Evan didn’t chance a glance.

  “Matt and I both went into the academy with different circumstances. At a different time.” Did he sound diplomatic? He was still parsing out his own feelings on this. “You need to make your own path.”

  She nodded enthusiastically. “I just feel like… like maybe a different perspective will help the police force and then help the citizens of New York! Community policing, Dad—that’s where the future is.”

  Evan felt Matt’s lips purse and the tensing of his thigh where their legs touched under the table.

  “We need people who want to shake things up—and that’s me. I want to be that person.” Elizabeth paused and took a deep breath. “Like you, Dad.”

  “I am so proud of you,” Evan said, and that was sincere, truly. Because his sensitive little girl was a smart young woman with a true goodness inside her. He wanted her to succeed.

  Even as he worried she wouldn’t.

  THEY SENT her back to her dorm at Stony Brook with five bags of groceries and clean laundry in the back of her Toyota. Matt slipped her fifty bucks as he hugged her goodbye tightly; he assumed Evan did the same. Elizabeth would probably stop and buy food for the homeless on her way back.

  Nothing about how he handled her announcement sat well with him, but the red alarm claxon in his head was unrelenting. Jim and Helena were thrilled with Elizabeth’s choice, peppering her with advice and pep talks and “insider info.” So far none of the other siblings expressed concern over Elizabeth’s career aspirations, or maybe—as a sympathetic Griffin pointed out—they didn’t think it would come to pass, so they weren’t worrying.

  Having his best friend’s husband play agony aunt three times a week over the phone would be embarrassing, but Matt was starting to feel crazy. Did no one but him think this was a terrible, terrible idea?

  Evan hadn’t made a comment about Elizabeth’s choice one way or another but seemed—to Matt at least—to be going along with it. Griffin told him to just ask, for God’s sake, and Matt called him a name, but he wasn’t wrong.