by Kate Hewitt
‘Yes. Soon.’
‘All right,’ she said again, and then she was gone, the door clicking shut softly behind her, the only thing remaining of her presence the faint lemony scent of her perfume—and the detritus of his papers scattered on the floor from when he’d swept them away in a moment of pure, blazing passion.
What was happening to him? What had happened to them? Alex walked slowly to his desk and sank into the chair, still dazed by the whole surreal encounter. Less than an hour ago he’d been intending to annul the marriage. He’d already called his lawyer to draw up the documents. And now...and now...
And now his marriage was going to look very different. Feel very different.
But not that different.
Alex let out a shuddering breath and reached for his papers. He still had work to do, a property deal in Sicily to look over, but he felt as if he couldn’t concentrate on anything. His mind kept going back to the moments he’d had with Milly, when she’d stared him straight in the face and said, ‘I desired you.’ When she’d thrown back her head, her voice a throaty growl as she’d pleaded with him. ‘Touch me, Alex. Touch me more, please.’
He rose abruptly, his blood heated simply from the memories. He was half inclined to take off after her now, spend the rest of the day and the whole night in bed.
But, no. He needed to think. He needed to remember to stay in control, because Milly might have, incredibly, accepted the scars on his face, but she had no idea about the ones on his soul. She had no idea what he was capable of, how he’d failed the people he’d loved. And if she learned any of that, she wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye. She wouldn’t be able to stand being touched by him. He was sure of it, and he knew already it would hurt more because of what they’d shared.
He had to find a way to keep his distance...and enjoy this bonus.
Which, Alex acknowledged, he should be able to do without a problem. He was a man, after all, a man who had once had an active sex life, who had managed to separate sex and love with absolute ease. This shouldn’t be a problem, he told himself grimly. He would make sure it wasn’t.
CHAPTER TWELVE
MILLY STEPPED INTO Alex’s penthouse apartment in one of Athens’ best neighbourhoods with a rush of released breath. Her body still tingled from their lovemaking, her mind still reeled. So much had happened. So much had changed. She hoped.
She put her bag down by the door as she took in her minimalistic but clearly luxurious surroundings. The penthouse was open-plan, with a soaring glass ceiling and floor-to-ceiling views of the Acropolis. White and grey leather sofas were scattered over the gleaming black marble floor, and a huge canvas of white with a few artful black splotches and lines took pride of place over the fireplace.
Milly stepped closer and realised the painting wasn’t the stereotypical abstract modern art; it was a child’s drawing that had been magnified, stick figures with lopsided heads and wide smiles. Her heart constricted. Why would Alex have such a picture in his flat? What did it mean to him?
She studied it for a few more minutes noting there were three people in the picture, two adults and a child. Who had drawn it? Or did it mean nothing—it was some interior designer’s attempt at modern art?
She turned away to explore the rest of Alex’s domain: a large kitchen of gleaming chrome and granite led off the main living area, and down a corridor were two sumptuous bedrooms, one done in navy, one done in cream, each with its own luxurious bathroom. Spiral stairs at the end of the corridor led up to a private gym and a study, as well as an enormous roof terrace with an outdoor pool, the water sparkling under the midday sun.
It was every bit as luxurious as the villa on Naxos, and yet besides the child’s drawing over the fireplace, it felt strangely impersonal. Just like the villa, there were no photographs, no knick-knacks, no books or mementoes. It was a blank canvas, a clean slate, almost as if Alex had tidied away evidence of himself on purpose.
Back downstairs, Milly wondered what would happen when Alex returned home. She recalled his remoteness with a prickle of unease; no matter how explosive their lovemaking had been, he’d still kept a certain emotional distance that she supposed was second nature to him. He was a guarded, private man, and his scars had made him even more so.
Which she’d known going into this marriage, and still had to accept now. The trouble was, Milly acknowledged, what had happened between them today had changed things for her. She knew it wasn’t supposed to, and sex was meant to be just sex, but it hadn’t felt like that at all. It had felt intimate. Incredible. Important. And she was going to have to keep reminding herself that Alex definitely did not feel the same way...which was a good thing, because, no matter what their physical chemistry was like, Alex Santos was not a man to give your heart away to. He certainly didn’t want to take it, and she didn’t want to be hurt. Again. Keeping things on a physical-only level was better for both of them.
With hours before Alex was due to return, Milly decided to take advantage of the decadent bathroom, and filled the sunken marble tub right to the brim with hot water and plenty of luxury bubble bath. As she reached for a fresh change of clothes from her bag, her hand closed around the slim cardboard box she’d bought this morning. The pregnancy test.
For a second she hesitated; now would be a perfect time to take the test, to make sure she wasn’t pregnant. But without fully thinking about what she was doing, Milly shoved the box deeper into her bag. She was almost sure her missed period was down to nothing more than stress...there was no need to take the test right now. She could wait a little while.
But as she sank into the heavenly hot and fragrant water, Milly had to acknowledge her reluctance to take the test was more than the prospect of wasting it. She didn’t want to be pregnant yet. She didn’t want to upend things, not when she and Alex were starting to get to know each other. When their marriage could be just a little bit more than the business arrangement they’d both agreed on. She could wait a few days, or even a few weeks. In all likelihood her period would arrive by then anyway.
As evening approached, nerves started to flutter in Milly’s belly, of both trepidation and excitement. Since there was no food in the house, she ordered a meal to be delivered, and then she spent an age redoing her make-up before wiping it all off. This was ridiculous. It was too late to try to impress Alex, and yet she wanted to do something to show things had changed between them.
When the door to the flat finally opened, she was speechless with nerves, only able to stare at him across the darkened room, moonlight spilling in through the windows. Alex stood still for a moment, framed by the light from the hallway, the electric blaze of his blue eyes visible even in the dim lighting, and sending spirals of excitement and desire coursing through Milly. All she could do was stare—and want.
Alex’s briefcase fell from his hand with a thunk. In one fluid movement he closed the door behind him.
‘I’ve been waiting for you,’ Milly said breathlessly, half wondering if Alex felt the same taut need that she felt, running through her like a wire, pulling her to him.
Except she wasn’t being pulled; he was coming towards her, shedding his jacket and tie as he walked. Her breath bottled in her chest, her heart thumping double time as Alex discarded his tie and then pulled her into his arms. His mouth came down on hers and that was all she needed for the excitement to burst out of her in a frenzy of response; she kissed him back with all the urgency and passion she felt, her hands clawing at his shirt, longing to feel his bare skin on hers.
Shedding clothes, they tripped and stumbled their way towards the bedroom, and then fell on the bed in a tangle of limbs. Milly gasped and arched as Alex’s mouth roved over her, branding her skin with his hot touch. She came alive under his hands in a way she’d never experienced, never expected, and when he finally began to move inside her she cried out in both pleasure and surprise, that again it could be so incredible
between them. So important.
They were lying on the twisted sheets, their hearts both still thudding, neither of them having said a word, when the doorbell rang. Alex tensed and Milly laid her palm flat on his chest, revelling in the feel of him.
‘That will be the food I ordered,’ she said.
‘Ah.’ Alex relaxed, a smile teasing his mouth.
‘I’ll get it,’ she said, and she rose from the bed, flinging on a dressing gown before hurrying to the door.
As she signed for the food and took the order, her body feeling sated and sleepy and yet also achingly alive, she realised she was buzzing in places she didn’t even know she had. She was also happier than she’d been in a long while.
This was definitely some bonus, she thought, a smile curving her lips as she returned to the bedroom with several containers of takeaway.
‘Why do you look like the cat who got the cream?’ Alex asked, stretching in bed, his voice holding a teasing note that was entirely new—and wonderful.
‘I did get the cream,’ she dared to tease, and he laughed, another sound that was both strange and wonderful. She felt as if she were chipping away at Alex’s icy exterior, and the glimpses of both the heat and heart underneath thrilled her.
She shed her dressing gown and got back in bed, and together they relaxed, eating Chinese food amidst the tangle of the duvet. Milly felt buoyant with happiness, as if she could float right up to the ceiling.
‘So did you close any property deals today?’ she asked, and Alex looked surprised by the question.
‘Do you really want to know?’
‘Of course I do.’
He shrugged. ‘I’m working on a low-income housing development in Piraeus. It’s an area of the country that has suffered from the economic crisis, and the housing stock is shockingly substandard in places.’
‘That sounds like a worthwhile project.’ For some reason Milly had imagined that Alex’s property deals were for top-end resorts and hotels, not housing for people in need. ‘Do you make money from that?’ she asked curiously.
‘Yes, assuming you do the thing properly. The houses are environmentally friendly and made of locally sourced building materials, and everyone employed to work on the project will be local. It’s meant to revitalise the community, not just provide housing.’
‘That’s amazing, Alex.’
He shook his head. ‘Not really, it’s smart. There is a profit in it for me.’ He looked at her seriously, the light-hearted expression dropping from his face. ‘Don’t start seeing me as some white knight, Milly, just because we’re good together in bed.’
She felt her face warm because that was exactly what she’d been doing. Every little thing he did or said that was kind or good helped her construct a picture of him—the picture she realised she was desperate to see.
‘I wouldn’t say white knight exactly,’ she said as lightly as she could. ‘But why dismiss it when it’s clearly something good?’
‘I’m not dismissing it,’ Alex said shortly. ‘I’m just warning you.’
Stung now, she stared down at her half-eaten noodles. ‘Of what, exactly?’
He touched her chin with his fingers, tilting it so she had no choice but to gaze up at him—his smile strangely compassionate. ‘What we have is good, Milly. It’s a bonus, like you said. An amazing bonus. But that’s all it is.’
‘I know that.’ She spoke stiffly, embarrassed that he felt the need to give her such a warning. He could see right through her, and she felt as if she couldn’t see him at all.
‘I just don’t want to disappoint you.’
‘You won’t, Alex.’ She eased back so his hand fell away from her face. ‘I’m going into this with my eyes wide open, trust me. I won’t let myself be disappointed.’
* * *
He certainly knew how to ruin a mood. Alex watched Milly broodingly, half wishing he hadn’t issued such a bleak warning, yet knowing he’d had to. He’d seen the stars forming in her eyes, and he even understood why. Their incredible physical intimacy made her want a deeper, emotional one. It was natural, expected. They both needed to guard against it.
The smart thing, he knew, would be to send her back to Naxos and get on with his work. Yet despite the words he’d just spoken, he was reluctant to do just that. They were married; they enjoyed each other’s bodies. This could be simple.
‘Why don’t you stay in Athens for a few days?’ he suggested. ‘You could do some shopping, if you like.’
Milly wrinkled her nose. ‘I’ve done enough shopping, thanks to the assistants you had come to the hotel before. But I would like to take in some of the sights. I’ve never seen the Acropolis, or any of the museums.’
‘Then you must do so.’ He gave her a wolfish smile. ‘Tour Athens by day, and then we can entertain ourselves at night.’
She smiled back, but he saw the remnants of shadows in her eyes, and he knew she took his words as he meant them—another warning as well as a promise.
* * *
The next few days were some of the most pleasant Alex had ever known—and not just pleasant, but truly happy. He thought back to when Milly had asked him if he was happy, if he would be happy, and he’d told her being happy with their business arrangement was enough. But now that didn’t feel like nearly enough, and he was far happier than he’d ever expected or hoped to be. It made him feel uneasy, because he knew all too well how happiness could be taken away. How he could destroy it.
But he pushed those thoughts away, determined to enjoy this brief respite. In a few days Milly would go back to Naxos; this was a moment in time, nothing more. They could both afford to enjoy each other.
And they did...both in bed and out of it. Alex was surprised at how much he enjoyed the out of it part, because when they were in bed, everything was explosive. But out of it, he found he liked chatting over a meal, or watching something inane on TV. He especially liked coming back to a warm and lit flat, to a home. As the days progressed, Milly filled the kitchen with food and started preparing their evening meals. Alex had told her they could order in, but she was insistent, saying how she liked to cook.
And he liked her cooking—liked the fragrant smells that filled the rooms, the simple but delicious meals they ate together. It felt like a family.
Which reminded him of their true purpose. ‘Do you think you might be pregnant?’ he asked matter-of-factly one evening as they lay amidst the tangle of his sheets, their hearts still thudding from the intensity of their lovemaking.
‘Pregnant?’ She tensed, and he didn’t miss the flash of something that looked almost like fear streak across her face before she schooled her expression into something far more innocuous. ‘It’s a bit early, don’t you think?’
‘You’re young and healthy, and the doctor said there were no medical issues.’
‘Yes, but we’ve only been married a month, and we’ve been apart for most of that.’ She let out a little, uncertain laugh. ‘We don’t have to rush things, do we?’
‘Rush things?’ He stared at her, trying to discern what was clearly making her uneasy. ‘It’s not a matter of rushing things. Nature will take its course, and we’re certainly doing as much as we can in that regard.’
‘Yes...’ She looked relieved, and unease trailed along his spine. Was she hiding something—some fear, some feeling? What was she not telling him?
‘I just wondered. You will tell me, of course, if you think you might be?’
‘Of course.’ She spoke quickly. ‘Of course I’ll tell you.’
Alex told himself to banish that faint unease as the days moved on, and it was easy enough to do so. And somehow the few days in Athens turned into weeks, and neither of them spoke about her going back to Naxos.
And then one day, when he came home from work, the flat as lovely and welcoming as ever, she sprang something on him.
‘Anna rang.’
‘Oh?’ As usual Alex dropped his briefcase and shed his jacket and tie. ‘How are things at school?’
‘They’re really good.’ She sounded hesitant, which made him wonder.
‘And?’
‘And she’s been selected to play at a charity gala next week, a black-tie event. It’s a huge honour, and she asked if we could go.’
‘To Rome?’
‘Yes.’
He stared at her for a moment, registering the nervous, beseeching look in her eyes. ‘That’s not a problem. You’re not a prisoner, Milly. You’re free to go. I have a suite on standby at the Hotel de Russie.’ One he had not needed to use since his accident, but still. ‘I’ll make arrangements for you to stay there.’
‘I don’t want to go alone.’ She spoke softly, imploringly, her eyes huge. Alex stilled.
‘What are you saying?’
‘Why don’t you go with me? Anna asked specifically for us both to go. She wants us both there.’
‘At a charity gala? With hundreds of people present?’
Milly tilted her chin, a gesture Alex recognised for when she was settling in for a fight. ‘Yes.’
‘Milly...’ He blew out a breath, resenting that she’d put him in this position. ‘Do I really have to explain...?’
‘I know you don’t like to go out in public, Alex, because of your scars.’ Milly spoke softly, but with determination. ‘I understand that.’
‘Do you?’ he burst out. ‘Do you really?’
‘How long has it been?’ The words were little more than a whisper. ‘Since the fire?’
He felt his hands clench and forced himself to relax them. ‘Twenty-three months.’
‘And in all that time you haven’t gone out in public?’
She made him sound like some sort of pathetic hermit, which infuriated him all the more. ‘I go to work, I travel as needed, I am perfectly content as I am. Don’t try to rehabilitate me, Milly. That’s the last thing I need, trust me.’ Because it wouldn’t happen, no matter how hard she tried, and in the meantime she’d ruin what was between them, between her pity and his pride.
