Innocent as Sin

by C. A. Asbrey

  It was easy to be alive on a day like this—at least, it was for most people. Not for Nat Quinn.

  Jake Conroy darted an anxious glance at his nephew. He’d barely said a word in the last twelve hours. Jake wanted to help, but he had his own problems. He had sworn to protect Abigail and he had stayed with the man he had thought was dangerous instead of guarding the victim. It was a stupid mistake, and one he would regret to his dying day if she didn't pull through.

  Guilt sat in his belly like a ball of lead, but he tried to present as positive a front as he could to encourage the man who had been plunged into more emotional involvement than either of them had realized. It had snuck up on him, ambushing him totally and completely. One thing was sure, there was no denying the depth of his feelings for the woman he had left behind in Everlasting.

  "How you doin', Nat?"

  His answer was an indifferent shrug accompanied by an incomprehensible grunt.

  "Look, she'll be fine. She was even stronger this mornin’. The doc said so."

  Nat groaned and shook his head. "It's too early to tell. He was being kind. That blood could still turn bad on her."

  A flicker of a smile flickered over Jake’s stony face satisfied Nat had broken the silence at last. "It's Abi, Nat. She's a fighter. If anyone can get through this, it's her."

  "Yeah? And how will we know? Can we contact her family or her friends? How about we wait for someone to write to us?"

  Jake paused, knowing he was right. The possibility of never knowing whether she was alive or dead weighed heavily on Nat’s mind.

  "She'll let us know. She'll find a way."

  "So if we don't hear? Is she dead, or she can’t find us? How would we know?"

  They continued in silence as he tried to find a way to put a positive spin on the situation. "If we don't hear, it'll be because she'll have seen sense and gone home to her mother’s. She’ll surely quit this world after this. God knows I feel like walkin’ away and livin’ like a normal person. I’m sick to my stomach with this life. I wish I had a proper home to go to."

  "Maybe she will, but maybe she won’t. She might never be the same again if she lives. She might be fit and happy. We’ll probably never know."

  "She won't do that, Nat. She’ll find a way."

  He shook his head. "How? We found her by accident this time. Either way, it's over. It’s all behind us. Part of her will always be dead because I’ll never see her again, no matter what."

  "I know.” Jake sighed. “I'm just tryin' to help you. There’s hope, though, and we need to credit her with the fight to see it through. Then, you get on with your life, because either way it’ll carry on for you."

  Nat nodded. "I'm sorry. I’ll shake this off. It was the shock; thinking she was so safe at the boarding house. Everything she's done and it happens that way, just for a horse. There was no other reason. Violet didn’t know why she was really a Pinkerton. Abigail was working for her brother and became an inconvenience when Violet tried to steal her horse. Abi was shot by someone stealing a horse. It’s so pointless. You never know the minute."

  "Nope, you don’t. But she'd want you to live life to the fullest until it does."

  "I guess." He paused. "I feel so responsible. She was there to stop McCully killin’ us."

  Jake bit back the thoughts swirling around his mind. He wanted to talk more about how Nat really felt and what had really happened between him and the woman he had known for such a short period of time; but he couldn’t find the words. Part of him knew the answers, and most of him didn’t want to face the possibility that Abigail provided a window on the world Nat could have had if he had done a better job of raising him. She rejected Nat because he was a criminal, and Jake felt responsible for Nat’s dishonest career.

  He had seen Nat that morning, sitting on the bed staring at her blood on the shirt he had worn the night before. His eyes had been as black as midnight, as though recalling the nightmare could somehow change things. He had hurriedly put the garment away when he realized Jake was awake.

  It hadn't hit him in the same way as Nat. It wasn't even close. Had anything more happened between them or had it only been a meeting of two mercurial and cunning minds? Jake desperately wanted to break the silence to find out more. But he didn’t. It didn't feel right to intrude there. It felt too intimate.

  He stared off into the distance, feeling impotent and powerless, little realizing his solid, ever reassuring presence was exactly what Nat needed right now. The fog of bereavement was as debilitating for those trying to offer support as it was for the person in the eye of the storm.

  Nat kicked his heels into his horse and cantered off before Jake urged his own horse forward to join him. They rode into one more day of many under acres of sky, and into one more day of wondering why they always chased the wrong prize.

  Chapter Nine

  The snow floated down in huge, feathery flakes which settled and nestled on the already frozen timber frame buildings of Pettigo. It silently covered the houses, sidewalks, and streets with a fresh covering of freezing fleece until the scene was blanched to fading shades of grays and white in the arctic landscape. January had been a particularly cold month, and the bad weather had trapped Quinn and Conroy in town until they had begun to worry about their lack of ready cash.

  Robbery was not an option to increase their funds. There was no easy way to escape, and in any case, tracks clearly stood out in the new snow for any following posse. That was especially true in a town which had decided to supplement its winter income by holding a January poker festival. Law enforcement here was good. It had to be, given the sums involved on the tables, but they never mixed with criminals in their downtime. That was how you got caught. They arrived in Pettigo as innocent, law-abiding gamblers, but had been driven into taking casual labor by their dwindling nest egg.

  An avalanche had swept down the mountainside, blocking the railway tracks under tons of snow, ice, and rocks. Blasting it was out of the question. The noise could trigger even more landslides. They had to rely on manual digging and a thaw for the town to get moving again. To make matters worse, a train had been caught in it. It had missed the worst of it and remained on the tracks, but it was still trapped by snow and rocks with people still stuck inside. Nat, Jake, and every other gambler trapped in Pettigo by the poker tournament had supplemented their income by helping to dig their way through the avalanche to clear the way.

  News had come through that the train had finally arrived in town after being snowed in on the tracks for two days. Celebration was in the air as tired travelers made it through to warmth and safety. Down-on-their-luck gamblers were paid to help out, so Nat and Jake were among those who swarmed forward to help passengers from the freezing train to guide them to a meal and hospitality. Those without somewhere to stay were found spartan, but suitable, accommodation. The men had been instructed to leave the hotel to stay in the church to make room for women and children, while the school had been allocated to younger, single women. A uniting stoicism had brought people together, sharing food, keeping people from sleeping rough, and helping those too old or infirm to cope with the conditions. Nat and Jake were right in among them, doing their best to fit in and look like normal low-paid drifters.

  "Down you come little man.” Jake Conroy lifted a tiny boy from the train before reaching to help his older sister. "Stand over there, inside in the warm. There are ladies in the station who'll look after you." Jake threw a cheeky wink to the thirteen-year old girl who looked into his startling blue eyes with awkward shyness before he wrapped his long fingers around her waist and settled her beside her brother. He looked back up at their mother. "Ma'am?"

  "Thank heavens, we're here at last." She held out her hand to Jake. "Thank you. Have you any idea what it's like to be stuck in the freezing cold for two days with eighteen bored children?"

  Jake laughed and shook his head, the frigid temperature seizing his exhaled breath leaving it hanging in the air like a frigid ghost. "Pure tort
ure I'd imagine, no matter the temperature. I’ll bet you need adult company. The ladies are in the station to help, ma'am."

  He glanced over at Nat before whispering in his ear. “Tempted to sneak into the baggage car and crack the safe?"

  Nat chuckled and nodded. "It doesn't feel right just helping folks off, that’s for sure."

  He put out a hand to help a youth who shook his head, refusing help as he bundled his jackets around him against the freezing air.

  "No. I can do it myself.” His voice had the amusing high-low of a boy whose voice was starting to break. "I can jump. Help the women."

  Nat smiled at him, recognizing the bravado and posturing of youth. "Sure, son. Go on."

  The boy leaped, slipping slightly before recovering his balance and composure as the next passenger appeared at the door. The boy walked off toward the railway buildings and glanced back at Quinn and Conroy.

  “The station house, boy.” Jake pointed at the building. “There’s soup and hot drinks. They’ll find you and your folks a bed for the night, too. The women have everything organized.”

  ♦◊♦

  Later that night, Quinn and Conroy walked back from the bar making their way to the church and their palliasses, knowing the straw-filled mattresses would keep them warm, as they crunched though the fresh, crisp snow

  “Darn it. That drafty church will be borin’,” Jake said.

  Nat shrugged. “We haven’t got much choice. We need to save what little money we have. We’ve no idea how much longer we’ll be stuck here.”

  “We’d have a chance of winnin’ some cash back if all the big games stopped all the gamblin’. I can see the sheriff’s point, though. It could lead to trouble in a cut-off town.”

  “Yeah, and we’re not sitting in on an illegal game. Getting arrested for something that stupid is how folks like us get locked up.”

  Jake chuckled. “There are folks like us? I thought we were originals.”

  "We might have stood a chance of earning decent money, but all the big games were closed by the time we got here," Nat said. “Stake money doesn’t last long when all you do is spend it.”

  "It's been a disaster from start to finish. Right from the first day, when our train was held up," Jake answered. “I hate public transport. Why didn’t we ride here?”

  “Because it’s too far and too cold. It’d have taken twice as long.” Nat stepped over a patch of ice. "I really thought you were gonna draw on that fella when the train was held up."

  "He wasn't gonna get my gun or my money. It’s lucky for him he changed his mind."

  "Lucky for all of us, but I thought the coach ride was worse."

  "I sure ain't getting in another coach with a pregnant woman, that’s for sure.” Jake frowned. “I’ll never look at them the same way again. Whose idea was it to come out here, anyway?"

  "You said I needed a break. It was far enough away that no one would recognize us, and the poker would put my mind on something else."

  "You asked to come.” Jake scowled. “You said it was the biggest tournament in months you were actually free for. You were desperate. You shoveled on loads of guilt about how much you needed a break and the distraction."

  Nat grinned at the memory of the naked manipulation he had used, but he wasn't about to admit this to Jake and be held responsible for the catalogue of errors which had dogged them since they had left Ghost Canyon for the winter.

  Jake whispered urgently to his nephew, still walking on. “Don’t react. We’re bein’ followed. I’m sure of it."

  Nat darted a concerned glance at him. "You want to hang back, or me?"

  "You do it. I’ll double back and cover you."

  They strolled on together until they turned a bend and Nat dove behind a bush as Jake strolled ahead. A small, dark figure approached tentatively, looking at the footprints in the snow before staring at the divergence, noting one set suddenly disappearing.

  Nat leaped out, snatching the lad, taking him by surprise, and knocking him onto his back. He held him down with his weight as he clasped a hand over his mouth. In a harsh voice, he whispered in the lad’s ear as he pressed a cold blade against his throat. "Looking for something?"

  Nat felt the boy relax. Bemused by the strange reaction, he barked a warning. "I'm gonna take my hand away. Don’t try anything stupid."

  He felt the small figure exhale before he removed his grip. It took a few seconds before he heard a quiet voice whisper close to his ear.

  "Since you ask, Mr. Quinn. I’m looking for you."

  His heart froze, unsure if he had heard what he thought he had. His dark eyes glittered through the darkness a few inches from hers.

  "Abi?" he queried, the uncertainty coming over in his voice at the sound of her rich, warm voice and the rounded Celtic tones of her Scottish accent coming from a pubescent boy.

  He felt a gentle rumble of laughter vibrate against his chest before she spoke again, slightly louder this time. "The very same."

  "Abi!" He sat upright and looked at the "boy" as well as he could in the poor light, still sitting astride her as he replaced his knife in the sheath. Incredulity swirled around in his head before it finally hit him he wasn't imagining things. She was really here, despite the finality of her appearance in Everlasting. "Abi? My God. I’ve been so worried."

  "I heard. I had to come and thank you for your care, for your blood. Without it, I would have—well. You know." Her whisper trailed off.

  "Abi.” His voice dropped to a purr as he lowered himself to her lips. He felt her hands start to press against his chest as she pushed him away, but he enveloped them in his own and pushed them over her head and he held them fast against the ground. "Not this time, Abi. Not this time."

  He captured her mouth in a hungry kiss, pushing into her with eager fierceness before he pulled back and smiled. The light danced in his eyes again for the first time in months. "Do you know how worried I was? How devastated, when I thought— How are you? How did you find us?"

  “Which question do you want me to answer first?” She gave him a weak smile. "They told me how you reacted. I was shocked."

  "Not as shocked as me."

  He felt her tug her arms against his hold and he released her before pulling her up and lifting her from the snow. He embraced her, trying to forget the last time he had nuzzled into her neck as he sucked in her scent. He filled his lungs with her essence, only to be reminded once again of that terrible night in the stables.

  He shook his head, scattering his nightmare at the sight of her here in his arms, before running his lips softly against her generous lips, dropping butterfly kisses at each corner before working his way back to taste her again in a probing kiss. His heart missed a beat as he felt her return it, clinging to him with genuine affection.

  "Abi?"

  They turned at the sound of Jake's voice behind them. "How did you know it was her?" demanded Nat.

  Jake shifted his weight to his right leg as he fixed Nat and the boy with a grin which caught in the moonlight. He snickered. “Judging by what I've just seen, it had better be."

  Chapter Ten

  They sat in the saloon, the "boy" clutching a glass of bourbon watered down with lemonade. Nobody turned a hair, as this was often the way youths were introduced to alcohol in an area where the only legislation was shaped firmly around being able to judge if the dead man had drawn first.

  Nat stared at her, barely able to take his eyes off her. “I can’t believe you’re here, Abi. How did you find us?”

  “An instinct.” She shrugged. “You use a lot of poker terms. You talk about people using tells, bluffing, and the like. I know you don’t mix with criminals in your recreation time, or we’d have more information on you. You don’t tend to work in the winter, and that’s obviously because it’s too easy to track you through the snow.” She eyed them, one to the other. “Put all that together, and a massive poker tournament reachable from your area was obvious winter entertainment. It was worth a try.” />
  “Smart deductions, Abi.” Nat sat back, his eyes glittering with caution.

  “Too smart. We’ve gotta be more careful. And the disguise?” asked Jake.

  “Boys can go unnoticed up and down alleys and the like. Women can’t.” she smiled. “It was also a lot more freeing to travelling in.”

  A saloon girl drifted by, eyeing the adolescent hopefully. Introducing young virgins to fleshly pleasures could be as lucrative as it was fast and undemanding. "Hi, there, handsome. You looking for any education tonight?"

  Jake snorted into his glass while Nat marveled at the prosthetics and make up which gave the impression of fledgling stubble and a wispy moustache. Abigail looked into the girl’s eyes after glancing at the men.

  Jake flicked a censorious look at her, deciding to play her at her own game after her antics in the restaurant in Bannen on their first meeting. Abigail had embarrassed him in front of an attractive waitress. He faced the saloon girl. "Yeah, sure. How much, honey?"

  Abigail stared at him in horror. “I don't think I can afford it."

  Jake Conroy’s huge grin said it all. "Don't worry about that, Albert. We’ll pay."

  The girl eyed Abigail expectantly as the men smirked, realizing that she had no way of knowing they were on their uppers.

  "Well? I ain't got all night, sonny. Come on."

  Abigail glowered at them as her shoulders sagged, admitting defeat. There was no graceful way out of this. “No, thanks, ma'am."

  "Aaaah, go on, Albert." Jake laughed as he gave her a gentle punch to the shoulder. "Make a man of you. A real man."

  She glared at him. "No. Really."

  The men dissolved into laughter as the girl turned away with an annoyed harrumph and an indignant look spreading over her face. "I can't abide time-wasters, sonny. You’d best learn not to mess with the help if you intend to start comin' in places like this."