Blind Faith

by Rebecca Zanetti

  But he’d never really known her, now, had he?

  “Sit.” He pulled out a chair for her and dropped into the remaining one, hoping it held his weight. “Now talk.”

  She gingerly slid onto the chair, eyeing the dented table. Her gaze rose to meet his. “There’s no child, Nate. I’m sorry.”

  The words cut into his heart like a spike. He studied her face, her breathing, her movements, eye flickers, and changes in skin temperature to ensure he received the truth. “Were you pregnant?”

  “Yes.”

  His gut heaved. He didn’t need to ask the next question as to whose kid it was. Audrey had been a virgin when they’d gotten together. “What happened?”

  “Miscarriage.” Her voice remained calm, but a flash of pain lightened her eyes. “Eight weeks in, and I miscarried. It’s common and not a reflection of your ability to have more children.”

  Sorrow wanted to choke him, so he numbed his feelings. “Did you know?”

  “Know what?”

  “That you were pregnant when we broke up?”

  “No.” She tapped pink nails on the table. “I found out a week later.”

  He eyed her closely. No signs of lying, and the truth ripped through him with painful blades. A kid. A real kid. “Were you going to tell me?”

  “Yes.” She lifted a shoulder. “I was trying to figure out a way to get to you without my mother knowing, and the world exploded. You disappeared, I lost the baby, and I thought that was the end of things. I always wanted you to find freedom, and you finally had a chance.”

  He leaned toward her. “Why didn’t you leave?”

  Her gaze dropped to her hands. “I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

  A lie. Or rather, an evasion. She wasn’t telling him something. “This is the time that you tell me everything Audrey. No secrets.”

  Her head jerked up, challenge firming her chin. “Or what?”

  He lifted an eyebrow. Good question. “You know I can make you talk.”

  She smiled, unveiling a dimple he remembered well in her left cheek. “I know you’re trained, Nate. But I also know that you don’t torture women to get information. I’m not exactly scared here.”

  He reached for her hand, flattening it under his. Fire lanced up his arm, settling through his body. One touch. All it took was one touch for his body to light on fire. Yet he kept his voice calm and his face expressionless. “Who said anything about torture?”

  She swallowed, a flush sliding from her chest up and over her face. “Get real.”

  He didn’t speak, just kept his gaze on hers. Knowing and hard. The way she met his stare impressed him, but he wouldn’t let her win the little contest of wills. Time was running short, and he required her cooperation.

  She gave in first with a little huff. “Fine. What do you want?”

  His gaze unwillingly shot to the bed before focusing back on her. “Information.”

  “About what?” A little frown settled between her arched eyebrows.

  “Everything. Where’s the commander, where’s the headquarters, where’s your mother, and more importantly, how do we defuse the chips?”

  “What chips?” she asked.

  Fury rushed through him so quickly his ears tingled. He grabbed her arms and hauled her up, stepping into her space and staring her down. “Don’t ever play dumb with me, Audrey. I promise you won’t like the result.”

  Sparks burst in her eyes, and she shoved him two-handed in the chest.

  He didn’t move.

  “I’ve never played dumb, and I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Her hands remained on his chest, nails curling into his pecs.

  The idea she couldn’t help him was unthinkable, and he gripped her tighter. “The chips near our spines. Where’s the computer to defuse them, and who has the damn codes?” Only stubborn will kept him from shaking her.

  She blinked and bit her lip. “I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “You’re lying.” She had to be.

  She shook her head, pursing her lips. Soft, kissable lips he still tasted in his dreams. Far too tempting for any man to ignore. “I’m telling the truth.”

  The denial cut him deep, and he struggled to maintain clarity. The woman stood so close—touching him. Her nails bit into his skin, sending electrical zaps through his body. His mind shut down. He yanked her closer, and his mouth took hers.

  * * *

  Anger and desperation hinted on his kiss as he took her mouth. No finesse, no cajoling, just a furious taking.

  Even so, she kissed him back, losing herself in his storm, her hands flattening across his hard chest. She’d missed him. Missed this. The feeling of being swept up, of being everything. His passion made her feel alive. Although the kiss was full of fury, her body ignited for the first time in five long years.

  His tongue swept inside her mouth, tasting her, taking everything. One broad hand slipped to the small of her back, pressing her against a rock-hard erection full of demand.

  Her cleft swelled, and her knees trembled. A cramp started in her bad leg, and she ignored it, caught up in the moment.

  With a low growl, his free hand tugged down the top of her dress. Wrenching his lips free, he nipped her earlobe, wandering lower, taking one nipple into his mouth. Electricity shot from her breast to her clit. She bit her lip to stop from crying out.

  Her legs gave out.

  He swept her up, her legs straddling him, and pressed her against the wall.

  This couldn’t happen. She stilled, her hands sliding through his thick hair. “I wondered if you’d grow it out.” Was this her voice? Husky and needy?

  He scraped her nipple with sharp teeth.

  Need zinged through her body to settle between her legs. She gasped. Nate had always been beyond gentle with her, and she’d wondered at the primal male she knew lived within him. But in their short time together, he’d treated her as something fragile and delicate.

  Now the real Nate was unleashed.

  At sensing the real man, her heart thumped. For so long, she’d wondered about him. Very few people in the world were allowed to see who he really was, and for the first time, she was on the inside. Where she’d always wanted to belong.

  With a soft pop, he released her nipple to glance up. Even behind the contacts, those eyes darkened, glittering with hunger. His nostrils flared as he exhaled. As he regained control.

  That cut jaw hardened. “Now tell me about the chips.”

  Vulnerability competed with the desire raging inside her. Her skirt had pooled up, and her legs were spread, his erection pressing against her panties. The top of the dress remained down, revealing her breasts. “Put me down, and we’ll talk.”

  “Oh, we’ll talk now.” His hands clenched on her buttocks.

  She began to struggle and only succeeded in brushing her breasts against his chest and her sex against his cock. Lust caught her breath in her throat. “Now, Nate.”

  “No.” Determination lived in every line in his chiseled face. “This is a perfect position for you to tell me everything.”

  She couldn’t physically take him, and she knew it. A punch to his eyes would result in an irritated smile from him—and she wasn’t armed. She tried to harden her expression, but her leg cramped, and she winced.

  His gaze narrowed. “What’s wrong?”

  She wanted to lie, but it was really starting to hurt. “Leg cramp.”

  He glanced down at her left leg and stilled. “What the fuck?” Moving quickly, he pivoted and deposited her on the bed, sliding the dress up farther. “What happened to you?”

  She sighed and reached down to rub the area right above her knee. “My leg broke in several places and needed a few surgeries to repair.”

  “How?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

  She’d give anything to be able to lie, but Nate was a human lie detector. “The day you escaped the military organization, I was at the facility.”

  “No.” He shoo
k his head and released her, stepping back. “I made sure you were off base when we blew it apart.”

  She nodded. “I started bleeding and went to the infirmary.” They had the best medical facilities in the world, and she had hoped they’d be able to save the baby.

  He coughed, going pale. “So I did this?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “The ceiling collapsed, and debris trapped me. You were right in that I wasn’t supposed to be there.”

  He paled further. “D-did I kill the baby?”

  “No.” She swallowed, tears pricking the backs of her eyes. “I promise. You didn’t.” She’d done everything possible to protect the baby, but what if the stress and fear about the military organization had caused the miscarriage? Logically, she knew better. But emotion, not logic, kept her up at night anyway. She couldn’t forgive herself, and there was no doubt Nate would ever forgive her. His world had to be black and white, and she had understood that from the beginning.

  He rubbed his chin, his shoulders relaxing. “All right.”

  She wiped her nose. “I’d already seen an ultrasound, and the baby was gone. I promise, the explosion didn’t harm the baby. It was already too late.” Nate would never be able to live with having caused the miscarriage. “I’m sorry.”

  He ran a hand through his thick hair, looking more out of sorts than she’d ever seen him. “Promise me.”

  She nodded, her gaze meeting his. “I give you my word.”

  He blinked and dropped to his haunches. Wide hands settled on her knees. Dark sorrow and determination angled his features. “I don’t want any more hurt between us, Audrey. I’m sorry about the baby, but I need to save my brothers.”

  “I understand.” She’d been trying to save both him and his brothers since the beginning. “But the best thing for you is to stay hidden from the commander. He’s looking for you.”

  Nate scowled. “I don’t have a choice, and you know it. Tell me about the chips.”

  What in the heck was he talking about? “Again, I don’t know about any chips.” She placed her hands over his.

  He frowned and studied her for several tension-filled moments. Then he closed his eyes on a strong exhale. “You really don’t.”

  “No. What chips?”

  His shoulders slumped. “The ones planted near our spines that are set to detonate in less than three weeks.”

  “Detonate?” Fear prickled her skin. “How did this happen?”

  “During routine surgeries, the doctors implanted the devices near our spine.” He rubbed his chin.

  She gasped. “My mother had a part in this?”

  “Yes.” He stood and pushed away from the bed. “If we don’t find the computer program and right codes, the chips will detonate, and we’ll all be killed.”

  Chapter 3

  Nate threw his duffel bag on the bed in the rustic cabin. The dump where he’d taken Audrey was rented by the hour, and he’d had no intention of staying there. After their discussion, he had taken Audrey home before returning to his home base a few miles away. The commander’s soldiers had remained out of sight, but he heard their hearts beating and their breath panting out. They were near her apartment, and he didn’t like that at all.

  He’d wanted to take them both out, but that would alert the commander he was in town. So, he’d headed back to his quaint cabin to get some work done.

  His hands shook as he allowed himself one moment to feel. No child. For the briefest time, he’d almost been a father. Sorrow and anger roared through him, and he took several deep breaths, his chin dropping to his chest. What would his kid have been like? What would he and Audrey have been like as parents?

  His brothers would’ve made wonderful uncles. Shane could’ve taught the kid sports, and Matt would’ve taught him hunting. Josie, Shane’s wife, could’ve helped with his or her math homework, and Matt’s love, Laney, would’ve helped with science.

  The kid would’ve had a great life with a real family and love.

  Plus, the proof of one kid would show Shane and Matt that they could have kids. Something they desperately wanted.

  The families on television had parents, kids, and cousins, and that’s all the Dean boys had ever wanted.

  His lungs seized as the impossible picture of a family, of his child, faded into nothingness. For a very brief time, even though the kid hadn’t made it, Nate had been a father. He’d deserved to know that at the time and to experience the reality of that miracle while there had still been hope.

  Audrey had kept that from him. Sure, she’d said she had planned to tell him the truth, and he wanted to believe her. But even with his abilities, he wasn’t sure. He was as damaged as a guy could get, so why would any mother want him near a child?

  The life he’d lost threatened to consume him, so he slowly, bit by bit, stopped feeling anything. His head lifted.

  He stalked over to the cut-off door perched on an old tree trunk that served as a table. One of the two green striped patio chairs creaked as he lowered his bulk to sit and booted up his laptop.

  Five minutes passed while he typed in security codes until finally his oldest brother came into focus. “I made contact,” he said.

  Matt leaned forward, gray eyes concerned. “And?”

  “She lost the baby.” Nate kept his voice level as he gave his report.

  Matt blinked and ran a hand over his face. “Jesus, Nate. I’m sorry.”

  Pain spiraled in Nate’s gut, and he shoved emotion away. “And we hurt her. When we blew up the facility… Audrey was there.” He didn’t have the strength to keep his voice from cracking on the end.

  Matt stilled. “Was she pregnant? I mean, did we—”

  “No. She’d already miscarried when she was at the facility.”

  Matt shook his head. “But you made sure she wasn’t there, that she was scheduled to be in DC.”

  Yeah. He’d thought he’d taken care of her, even though they were over. But he hadn’t, and something had gone wrong. The woman definitely had a limp. His guilt angered him, and he fought to keep his expression stoic so his brother wouldn’t see the turmoil. “Apparently Audrey was at the medical facility because the miscarriage had started.”

  “So she lost the baby.” Matt swallowed. “How many experiments did the scientists put her through at that time? Just because a woman finally got pregnant by one of us?”

  Nate sat back, his mind reeling. He hadn’t even considered what the commander and his scientists had probably done to Audrey in testing after they’d finally found a female who could get pregnant with one of the Gray brothers’ sperm.

  The evil scientists had harvested the brothers’ sperm during surgeries to repair injuries sustained while on missions, and then they had tried unsuccessfully to impregnate surrogate mothers. Even before this violation occurred, the brothers had fully intended to escape the group that had raised and trained them. Freedom mattered.

  But the military group, led by the commander, had made sure there was a brother out on mission at all times, and if he failed, his brothers would die back home.

  Until they finally were at the base at the same time.

  They’d blown it all to hell and escaped.

  “When we finally got loose, Audrey stayed with the commander and her mother,” Nate said slowly. “Her mother always had a hold on her I didn’t understand, and now Audrey is working with them.” Of course, he’d never had a mother, so he didn’t understand the bond.

  Anger blazed across Matt’s face before he quickly banished it. “Maybe Audrey didn’t have a choice?”

  “No. She chose them, chose working with them over me, before she knew she’d become pregnant.” Nate shook his head. “When she ended things between us almost five years ago, she even admitted her mother set us up from the start. I assume Dr. Madison wanted to see what I’d be like in love. If I could feel love for somebody who wasn’t family.” The thought that he’d been used by the one person he’d ever let in shot spikes into his gut, even after al
l of these years. When Audrey had confirmed her mother’s involvement in their relationship, she’d been telling the truth.

  “I know it was an experiment initially, but that doesn’t mean she knew all the facts. Maybe she was supposed to befriend you,” Matt said.

  “I know.” Nate stretched his neck, his shoulders settling. “We started as an experiment, but her feelings were real. Just not strong enough to trust me when things turned bad.” And that was the crux of the matter.

  Matt nodded, turned to the side, and glared. “Stop poking me.”

  “I’m not.” Shane, Nate’s younger brother, came into focus as he shoved a shoulder into Matt and scooted him over. “Are you in a secured place?”

  “Yes.” Nate glanced around at the two-room cabin. A bedroom took up one room, while a small kitchenette fronted the far wall near a rugged stone fireplace in the other room. “Nobody followed me from town.”

  “You didn’t take Audrey there?” Shane asked.

  “Of course not,” Nate said. “I believe I taught you evasive maneuvers when you were eight years old.”

  Shane frowned, his eyes identical to Matt’s in both gray color and deep concern. “Just wanted to make sure your head was on straight.”

  “I’m fine.” Nate drew in a deep breath, calming his racing heart. Seeing Audrey again had taken a toll, but he was fine now. Reaching out, he widened the scope of his screen to better see. His brothers were both over six feet tall and broad with strong features, and their similar faces took up too much room on the screen. Matt had a square jaw, and Shane’s features appeared more angular, but there was no doubt they shared a sperm donor. “Audrey is working for Senator Nash, who’s on the appropriation’s subcommittee for advanced defense spending.”

  “In other words, for top-secret, bullshit military experiments and funding,” Shane muttered.