by Mark Tufo
“Mom, what are you talking about? Make what without you?”
“Clarence I know you’ve led something of a sheltered life. You don’t talk to people as much as you should and that’s my fault. These last few years I should have made you go out more. It’s just this pain has been all-consuming, each breathe becomes an exercise in exertion. I’m ready to go. The only reason I’ve stuck it out is to make sure you’ll be alright. Now I don’t know if you will be or not, but if I stay you’ll be in more danger.”
“Mom, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Clarence I took my pain pills…all of them.”
“Mom! I’ll call an ambulance!”
“It’s much too late for that.” she said calmly. “Come here, boy.” Clarence rushed over; she stroked the side of his face with her gnarled fingers. “I want you to do one thing for me, Clarence.”
“Anything, mom,” he answered through a curtain of tears.
“Survive.” Her hand fell away, her breathing became shallow, and finally…her chest stilled. Clarence stood over her for a while longer, unsure of what he should do. Glass shattering on the main floor got him moving. He rushed downstairs to come face-to-muzzle with an extremely large rifle.
“Listen, we don’t want any trouble. My sister and I are just trying to get away from the zee’s,” The young man holding the rifle stated.
“Zee’s?” Clarence asked. “My mom just died,” Clarence said crying again.
“Is she a zee?” Tyler asked.
“Put the gun down,” Anne told her brother. “What’s your name?” the angel asked him; at least that was how she appeared to him.
“Clarence,” he told her, his stomach heaving from the pain of loss.
Clarence cried in the corner of the room, Anne rubbed his shoulder trying to calm him down. Tyler kept looking through the window for an opening in the action.
“We’re clear, Anne. Let’s get the fuck out of here,” he told her.
“What about him?” She tilted her head in Clarence’s direction.
“What about him?”
“We can’t leave him here.”
“This is his house, why can’t we?”
“Tyler!”
“Sis, it’s not like we’re leaving him in a back alley. This is his house.”
“He has nothing here anymore, Tyler. His mother died.”
“Look at him, sis. He’s like three hundred-plus pounds! He’s gonna slow us up.”
“I’ll stay with him then.”
“You have got to be shitting me,” Tyler said in defeat. He’d seen that obstinate look on his sister before. When she said something like that, she very rarely recanted. And he didn’t have the time or inclination to fight with her. “Fine but if Porky can’t keep up, he becomes an all-you-can-eat buffet for the zee’s.”
“What a horrible thing to say!” Anne yelled at her brother, but she had a sly smile on.
Clarence never saw it. From that moment on he thought he was in love with the girl.
CHAPTER FIVE
“Fuck, you were pathetic,” I said as I came out of my doze. The sun had begun to set and it was almost ‘go’ time. “Remind me not to pick through your useless memories, even your jerk-off visuals are weak. Who the fuck strokes to men and women kissing? I did you a favor by killing you.”
Hugh had not done the story merely for my enjoyment. He had been busy while I slumbered. I could feel a massing of sorts around me. They weren’t ready to strike – not yet – but that they were there was unsettling.
“What’s going on, Hugh?” He knew why I was asking, his silence on the matter did not make me feel any better. “Hugh, I can tell you have me completely surrounded. I think we need to talk before we both do something we regret.”
Another pause.
“For safety,” Hugh answered.
“Mine or yours?” I asked. “Hugh, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. We have a deal. I keep you fed and alive. You eat and fix damage. It works well for the both of us.”
“Safety,” he said again. “We eat now,” he said forcefully, letting me know that our current conversation was over.
Shit, I thought. Hugh could overwhelm me. He had the numbers and the diligence. I was still tied to the human way of thinking. I needed to rest eventually. And even if I was holding my own in an all-out battle, it would be over once I slept. Could I really do something to rid this body of him? Is that why he had set up a perimeter? If that was the case, I sure wish that I had figured it out when I had my own body and not this Stay-Puft version.
“EAT!” Hugh urged. He wanted me moving not thinking.
Fine we’ll play this your way for a while, but I’ve got a trick or two up my sleeves.
“I need fat boy’s voice back,” I told Hugh. It upset me to no end to be a full-grown man and sound like a chipmunk on helium, but that was the only way I was going to be able to get close to the store.
“Test, test, test.” By the third time, I went from a deep baritone to a pre-pubescent boy. “No wonder you never got laid. You’d have needed to hook up with a woman with fantasies of statutory rape. Fucking loser,” I said as I trotted onto the street.
I was still a good hundred feet away from the store when I was spotted.
“You can stop right there and save all of us a lot of problems,” a voice rang out from the roof.
“It’s me! Clarence!”
“Clarence? Where are Tyler and Anne?”
“I haven’t seen them.”
“They went out after you today, said you got bit yesterday maybe, and that they were going to check and see if you were alright. Haven’t seen them since.”
“I don’t know where they are, can I come in? It’s dark out here,” I added to make Clarence sound more pitiful.
“Why are you dressed that way?”
“I tore up all my clothes running from zombies…this was all I could find. Please let me in.”
“Something’s not right here, just hold on.”
I could hear him talking into a walkie-talkie.
Something heavy moved in the front of the store and then a side door opened up. Two people came out, both armed; one with an assault rifle the other with a pistol. The pistol stayed trained on me, the man with the assault rifle constantly scanned the entire area as they advanced.
“This could be a spot of trouble,” I said softly as I dipped my head, hoping the dark would hide my alterations for a few more moments. I was screwed if they saw me. I looked over my right shoulder quickly and then back towards the store. “Zombies!” I screamed. And I started to run towards the store door.
The man with the assault rifle was doing his best to acquire a target that had not yet presented itself. The woman with the pistol began to get happy feet, she was ready to bolt. I was running straight at the pair as if they weren’t there. I slid the small fillet knife I had grabbed at the house where Anne and I guess Clarence died, out of my pocket. It was tricky but I passed it from my right hand to my left as I ran.
“Zombies!” I screamed again when I was within a few feet of them. The man with the assault rifle saw my face and his eyes became wide. He began to swing the muzzle in my direction. The woman had already thought better of her exposure and was running back towards the store. I slammed the fillet knife twice into the side of the man’s neck. The harness he had on kept his rifle from clattering to the ground as he dropped it, his hand flying up to the burning wounds on his neck. By the arc of blood, I could tell I had struck true; his carotid artery was now a highway to death.
The woman with the pistol beat me to the door by a few paces and kept going.
“Hurry!” a man at the door was urging me on. He didn’t have time to look at my face as he watched the man with the rifle drop. “What is Staid doing?” he asked. “Staid come on man. I’ve got to shut this door!”
“Zombies!” I shouted again for effect.
“Dammit, I’ve got to shut the door,” he told me as I strode in.
“You’re not Clarence.”
Those were his last words as I shoved the knife hilt deep into his left eye. To be completely honest, it didn’t technically go into his eye but rather underneath it, between the eyeball and his orbital socket. Must have hit some important part of the brain, because he just ceased to exist in less time than it took for me to think these words. I pushed him over after retrieving the knife.
Hugh was not happy that I had basically just wasted two warm meals. “Relax, pal, there’s nine more.”
Now I had to be careful there were still eight people unaccounted for not including the guard on the roof. I had to figure that they were all armed. The knife was fun, it gave me the opportunity to get up close and personal with my victims, but I was not going to be on the butt end of the old joke about bringing a knife to a gun fight. I checked Lefty’s body, or I guess now he would be called Righty. He had a revolver in a hip holster and a pocket full of shells, both of which I liberated from his body.
“Clarence, what are you doing?”
I stood up. It was the same woman from outside. She had not gone as far as I had first thought. I pointed the pistol at her.
“Put down your gun,” I told her, happy that Hugh had already taken the initiative and was altering my voice back to a more sinister tone. Although did I really like that he had done that? And why? The woman complied easily enough as I figured she would, she had shown her true colors when she came out to investigate me and then retreat at the first sign of trouble.
“You’re not Clarence,” she said as she got a better look at me. She gasped when I stepped into a small pool of light. “Your face…what’s the matter with you?”
“Is that how your mother taught you to talk to people? You’ve got horrible people skills.”
“I’m sorry,” she replied, fear creeping into her voice, as she backed up.
“That’s far enough, don’t make me chase you. I get very hungry when I run. And I’ve never really liked fast-food. Man that’s funny, I think I missed my calling.”
“What? I don’t understand,” the woman said.
“Oh, I guess how could you? I mean I’m not a cannibal, I’m not a human that eats other humans.”
“Oh, thank goodness.” She placed her hand to her chest. “I guess I misunderstood.”
“No. It’s worse, I assure you.”
“What?” The confused look came over her face again.
“I’m a thinking zombie. I am now the top dog on the planet.”
“That can’t be.”
“Oh…trust me, it’s the truth. I devoured Tyler and Anne, and let me tell you, that little honey was succulent…like a Christmas goose.”
“You’re sick or something. You should and could get some help,” the woman said as she looked behind her. I took that opportunity to move in close. She was a second away from running and I couldn’t yet afford her to start warning the others.
She jumped and nearly swooned as I grabbed hold of her elbow. “I need you to show me where the others are.”
She didn’t move, I think she was fear-locked.
“Listen, you take me to them and I will save you for last, or I just kill you now and find them myself.” That actually got her feet moving. I didn’t promise her life, only a temporary extension and she had jumped at the chance. She was willingly going to give up those around her maybe with the hope that at some point she would get the upper hand or be able to get away.
Her legs kept quaking and her knees buckled as we began to move.
“You’re touch is so cold. You’re hurting me,” she begged, not daring to look at me as she spoke.
“Walk right, bitch. Even a blond like you should be able to figure that out.” I let go of her arm and gave her ass a thorough goosing. She was a little old for me, but virgins can’t be choosers. “Quick detour,” I told her as I snagged her by the hair and dragged her along. “You’re learning,” I told her when she didn’t cry out and only wrapped her hands around mine so that I wouldn’t yank her skull off her head; although…now that I thought of it, that sounded pretty cool.
The shelves were still reasonably well stocked and I did not have a hard time as I found what I was looking for. I ripped her hair back again after we started walking. “Gonna grab two,” I told her in explanation. “What’s your name?” I asked her as I lifted her off the ground by her hair. “Don’t scream. Don’t you dare fucking scream.” I told her as her feet wiggled quickly in the air as they fruitlessly sought out solid ground.
Both of her hands clinging desperately to mine trying to alleviate the pain she had to have been feeling. I jiggled her back and forth a little bit. “Are you light, or has Hugh just made me stronger?”
“Charlene...Charlene Bronson,” she squealed.
“You’re doing real good, Charlene. Let’s go get some of your pals.”
I let her down fairly gently, convinced if I slammed her down she would collapse and then I’d have to carry her – or just eat her, I suppose.
She led me to the side of the store where customer service and the rest rooms were.
“Where we going?” I asked.
“Employee break room has been converted into a large communal bedroom, there are usually a few people sleeping in there at any time.”
“You’re really getting into this. Nice,” I told her. She didn’t look at all enthused with my observation of her.
I heard the toilet in the bathroom flush just as we were passing the men’s room. I lifted Charlene off her feet again, she yelped. Then quickly clapped her hands over her mouth.
“You stay right here,” I told her. I placed her down a few feet from the door and got on the other side. I heard the sink run for a few seconds then the pull of paper towels from the holder. The door opened up softly.
“Hey, Charlene, you startled the hell out of me. What are you doing there?” a tall thin man asked. He was maybe mid-thirties and balding heavily. Looked like an undertaker or a supermarket manager, and considering my locale I went with the latter.
I put the barrel of my gun to the back of his head.
“Is this a joke?” he asked, turning around, hands half upraised as he thought he would be preparing to laugh.
“Sadly…no,” I said, grinning at him and giving him a full view of my altered teeth. He blanched faster than any human I’d ever seen. Even mousey Charlene had at least stood her ground. “Didn’t you just go?” I asked as the front of his pants darkened. With my free hand I handed one of the rolls of duct tape I had grabbed to Charlene. “Wrap his mouth, then his hands behind his back.”
She started to shake her head in protest.
“Do it, Charlene, you know our deal. It all hinges on what you do.”
“I’m sorry, Calum,” she said as she pulled a strip of tape off and placed it over his mouth.
“That’s pretty weak, Charlene. All the way around his head this time,” I said as I circled my hand around my head for demonstration purposes. She did two times around. She was so nervous that the second pass around went over his nostrils. “I like my meat warm, Charlene,” I told her as I yanked the tape down so he wouldn’t die from asphyxiation.
“Calum, please put your hands behind your back,” Charlene said, tears were falling from her drawn face.
“How many people are in the employee break room?” I asked him.
He knew why I was asking and was less willing to roll over like Charlene. The tape muffled the words, but it would have been impossible not to hear the distinctive. “Fuck off” in his tone.
“I wouldn’t have figured you to have a spine. Good for you,” I said as I patted him on the head. Then I punched him; he was probably lucky he had the tape on since I was pretty sure I busted his jaw and at least it would now be held in place. Defiance turned to agony in an instant. I’d probably eat him second to last just so he could suffer longer. A deal’s a deal, and I wouldn’t break my word with Charlene unless she forced me to.
I had her lead the way as she escor
ted Calum along. The break room was dark except for two candles on the small countertop next to a microwave that suspiciously smelled like fish heads. Not sure why I found that particular scent disgusting, I’d been ripping through shit filled intestines for close to a week now, I would have thought I was beyond caring.
There were two more people here and by the size of them they were either kids or women. I jerked Calum down onto the nearest cot. “You move and you’re first.” I don’t think he gave a shit what I had said to him his jaw was hurting so much.
I could hear light snoring from the person farthest in the corner. Charlene and I went to the nearest person to us. “Wrap the tape all the way around their midsection and under the cot.” There were ten military-style cots arranged in the room. Perfect for human storage, I thought contentedly.
Charlene pulled the light blanket down, it was a woman. Not very big, she was going to be more like a late afternoon snack than a full meal. She was on her side. I pushed her over onto her back. Her eyes flew open just as Charlene started the preservation process.
“Shhh.” I placed a finger to my red oversized, made up lips. Fuck that was funny, I wouldn’t doubt if her heart had stopped for a few beats.
“I’m so sorry, April.” Charlene was crying again.
“Hey it’s alright, Charlene.” I said tenderly. “You’re just doing what you have to, kind of like the Nazi foot soldiers to the Jews. It’s the same kind of thing,” I said as I stroked the side of her face.
“What’s your name, sweetheart?” I said to the girl below me.
She didn’t move, I think she thought she was having a nightmare and she was trying desperately to rouse herself out of it.
“Still here.” I smiled at her.
“Her name is April Springer. Please just leave her alone, she’s only twenty-three,” Charlene begged even as she was wrapping the bonds around her.
“Oh, my pretty Charlene, are you so willing to exchange your place in line? Now tape her mouth so we can get the other one.”
I looked over to Calum. He was either faking sleep or he had passed out from the pain. I was more inclined to believe the passed out part. The side of his face I had broken was swelling angrily against the tape. It looked a lot like a fat chick trying desperately to stuff herself into her favorite pair of Spanx. My bet was that the constricting tape hurt as much as the broken bones – that was just a guess on my part.
