Raining Cats and Killers: Cozy Mystery (Country Cottage Mysteries Book 17)

by Addison Moore

  Nevertheless, I like to tease that I got Georgie in the divorce.

  My father is a collector of wives, and at the moment he happens to be happily married to Jasper’s mother. Yes, that’s right. My mother-in-law is also my stepmother. But that’s neither here nor there at the moment. This ruckus Georgie and my mother are causing is about to usurp Bea’s entire birthday party.

  “Ladies,” I call out as I grab ahold of the quilts they’re swatting one another with. “Save the pillow fight for later, would you? Or quilt fight as it were.” I narrow my eyes over the quilts in question and gasp. “Hey? Are these wonky quilts?”

  Wonky quilts just so happen to be what Georgie and my mother primarily sell at their shop, Two Old Broads, located right across the street. They sell other little knickknacks, too, but the wonky quilts for the most part are their bread and butter. After all, it was Georgie who more or less developed the quilts. They’re made of large rectangular swaths of fabric in every color and pattern, and the edges are left unfinished, giving them a soft fringe look. They sell everything from wonky wedding dresses—haven’t officially sold one yet—to dog beds and pet carriers, much like the one I have strapped to my chest at the moment. In fact, it was Georgie who gave it to me.

  “Hey?” I take the quilt from my mother’s arms. “Isn’t this one of your wonky quilts?”

  “It sure is.” My mother snatches it right back. “This entire place is crawling with them!” Ree Baker is a force to be reckoned with. She not only raised three children mostly all by her lonesome, but she had a real estate empire back in the day, too. Just last month, she found some lunatic on a dating website who almost took her for all she was worth. He was caught in the act, and Mom has since moved on with a handsome Scottish man named Brennan Gallagher, who oddly enough was a suspect of a homicide investigation last month as well. Thankfully, for my mother’s sake, he wasn’t the killer.

  Mom is petite, with caramel-colored tresses that have been permanently feathered and shellacked into place essentially since the eighties. And she likes to pay homage to the neon decade by way of her wardrobe, too. Mom is dressed as your typical preppy tonight, with the collar of her blouse popped up near her ears and a pair of white high-water pants.

  Georgie tips her head my way. “And do you know what else this place is crawling with? My money! Bea Crabtree is a thief, I tell you.”

  There’s a lull in the conversations around us for a moment as half the people in the place stop to look our way. I spot Bea having a rather terse conversation with her niece Kadence, the redhead, and lucky for us, the birthday girl didn’t seem to hear Georgie’s outburst.

  “Georgie.” I take the quilt from her and the one from my mother once again. “This is a secondhand store. When people move, or need to free up space, they donate things. And once the weather took a turn for the scorching, I bet a bunch of people threw out all of their winter things. It’s not an uncommon phenomenon when people are spring cleaning. They’re so sick of winter, they want all reminders of it up and gone. Bea has every right to sell these in her shop.”

  “For thirteen dollars a pop?” Mom harps.

  “Thirteen dollars?” I suck in a quick breath. “That’s a steal!” Especially considering they sell them for sixty dollars a pop across the street.

  “That’s right. It’s a steal,” Georgie says. “And I’m stealing them right back. Grab all the quilts you can get your little claws on, Preppy. We’ll sell gently used quilts at our own place for twice as much and still make a profit.”

  “Okay, fine,” Mom says, snapping up one wonky quilt after the other. “But once we walk these across the street, we’re coming right back to scoop up all of those miniature crystal decanters.”

  “And the blue miniature Mason jars,” Georgie adds. “And don’t forget the fancy perfume bottles. We can use those, too.”

  “Why am I afraid to ask what you’ll be using these seemingly innocent containers for?”

  “Well, genius?” Mom lifts a brow to Georgie. “Should you tell her, or should I?”

  “No need,” Georgie says. “Bizzy’s already given my Flask o’ Fun a test drive.”

  “Is it that stuff you called gun oil?” Georgie gave me a sample to help ease some leg pain Jasper was having last month. When I asked her why it was called gun oil, she said it was because she used it to oil up the weapons her gentlemen suitors were wielding in her bedroom. “You are not selling that in your shop.”

  “Oh yes, we are,” my mother corrects. “If it can turn a dollar, we’re going to make that oil holler. Don’t be such a prude, Bizzy. Women of our age and stature need a little fun, too. Besides, it has wonderful medicinal benefits to it as well. Just last night, Brennan gave me a full body massage, and today I’m glowing and feel like a twenty-year-old.”

  A throat chuckle expels from Georgie.

  “Mother.” I bring my hands to my ears. “You know I don’t want to hear about the ways in which your boyfriend makes you glow.”

  Georgie hitches her thumb my way. “You pegged her right, Preppy. She’s a prude.”

  The two of them take off with their haul of quilts, and I spin on my heels in search for Emmie. There’s no sign of the blushing bride, but I do see Bea speaking with Magnolia, her dark-haired niece with the mile-long lashes.

  “I know what you’re up to,” Bea shouts as she pokes her finger in the woman’s chest. “And you won’t get away with it. Over my dead body will I allow you to do a thing to me!” She storms off, and Magnolia follows her with her eyes.

  So much for a happy family reunion.

  I’m about to shoot Emmie a text when a familiar pair of strong arms wraps themselves around my waist from behind. That familiar cologne ensconces me, and instantly the world feels like a safer place.

  I turn my head slightly his way. “I like where you’re going with this, but we’ll have to make it quick. My husband is on his way.”

  “Hey”—Jasper spins me into him by way of my hand, and I can’t help but bubble with laughter—“now where is this guy who was hitting on you? I’m packing heat, and I’m in the mood for a little target practice.”

  “In that case, I think it’s best I keep his identity to myself for the sake of all parties involved.”

  I hike up on my tiptoes and give him a warm kiss right over his lips. Jasper is tall, has jet-black hair and the facial scruff to match. His eyes are the color of lightning in a bottle, and wow, his body? Every last piece is set perfectly in place. He’s got muscles where he needs them. He always has a hungry look in his eyes whenever he’s around me—and I don’t make it a practice of letting this man go hungry.

  “Ooh, a challenge.” His left eye comes shy of a wink. “I have news for you. I can winnow him out on my own. I’m a detective, remember?”

  “How about putting those sleuthing skills to the test and helping me sniff out my bestie? Emmie is roaming the grounds unsupervised. I’m a little worried about what she might be coming home with. For the first time in our lives, I can honestly say my best friend is unpredictable. And that’s not a compliment.”

  “I can be unpredictable.” His brows furrow and make him that much more handsome. I’d bet good money I just heard three women sigh.

  “I’d say prove it, but I’ll hold that card for later.”

  True to his word, Jasper leads us straight to my bestie who, low and behold, is in the boutique staring up at what amounts to a glass coffin standing vertically, and encased inside of it is a stunning beaded wedding dress with a sweetheart neckline, hip-hugging curves, and a touch of a mermaid tail that fans out toward the bottom. Above it sits a small sign that reads Beware all who desire to take this haunted frock home. You won’t have a peaceful wedding. You may not get married at all. This dress is cursed!

  A tiny laugh thumps through me. “Isn’t that silly?”

  “You bet it is,” Emmie says, breathless as her fingers touch the glass case. “I’ve found it, Bizzy. I didn’t think it was possible, but this is
my dress.”

  “What?” I squawk. “You can’t be serious. That dress is cursed.”

  “Oh, it’s not cursed. You just said yourself it was silly.” She waves me off. “I have to try it on right now.”

  “No way,” I tell her, raising my voice just a notch as if to annunciate my point.

  Jasper shakes his head my way covertly. Let her try it on. You’ve been waiting for her to get into the spirit of shopping for a dress. This is obviously the push she needs.

  I frown up at him. “Fine.” I stretch a quick smile to Emmie. “I’ll go find Arlene and have her pull it out for you.” I shoot Jasper a look. “Keep an eye on this one. I’d hate for the dress to swallow her whole while I’m gone.”

  I take off and land right back into the jumble of bodies where the laughter and the jovial atmosphere only seem to be escalating, and it genuinely feels like a party. I head over to the register and spot Bea’s nephew Ryan emerging from a curtain that divides the stockroom from the rest of the store.

  “Ryan, have you seen Arlene?” I ask as he passes me.

  “No,” he growls as if he were livid. “I’m too busy looking for my aunt.” He stalks off, and I take a step toward the stockroom.

  “Arlene?” I call out before stepping behind the curtain into an area cluttered with boxes and tables with potential merchandise sitting on top of them. “Arlene?” I call out again, but my voice comes back to me as an echo.

  I turn to leave and nearly trip over a shoe sticking out from the corridor covered with a curtain to my left. I give the shoe a quick kick in an effort to prevent anyone else from tripping over it and it hardly budges. I bend over to pick it up and freeze solid when I note there’s a foot still attached to it.

  I pull the curtain back and a scream gets locked in my throat.

  Bea Crabtree won’t have to worry about being social anymore.

  Bea Crabtree is dead.

  Chapter 3

  A shrill scream escapes me. Lying on the ground is Bea Crabtree with a red floral scarf cinched impossibly tight around her neck.

  I lunge her way just as Jasper appears and pulls me away.

  “Bizzy?” He drops to his knees and quickly checks her vitals before he glances my way. “I’m sorry. She’s gone.”

  “Oh no, not Bea,” I pant, suddenly dizzy from the reality setting in.

  Jasper quickly calls the sheriff’s department before wrapping his arms around me as we look to where poor Bea lies.

  Jasper inches back and bores those silver-gray eyes into mine. “Did you see anything else?”

  “Nothing,” I tell him. “I just stepped back here thinking I might find Arlene and I tripped over a shoe. I thought it was out of place, so I tried to move it and that’s when I found her.” A glint of something red and glassy catches my eye and I lean toward it. “Jasper, look.” I point over to it. “Right there attached to the edge of the scarf looks to be an earring.”

  “You’re right.” He pulls out his phone and snaps a quick picture of it just as a swarm of deputies burst into the stockroom, right along with Arlene Scully.

  “Bizzy?” Arlene’s doe eyes widen my way. “What is going on? Are you okay? Did something happen?”

  My mouth opens to say something, but she quickly glances to the left to where those deputies are now conversing with Jasper and she spots Bea lying on the ground.

  “Bea?” She starts to take a step in that direction, and I pull her back by the elbow.

  “You don’t want to see her like that, Arlene. I’m sorry. It’s too late.”

  “What do you mean it’s too late?” She cranes her neck in that direction. “Why is Bea wearing my scarf? Bizzy, what’s going on?” Her voice hikes as a genuine panic begins to set in.

  “I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but somebody strangled poor Bea to death.”

  She gives a few quick blinks as she glances toward the store. “That must mean the killer is still here. They must have seen me put my scarf and my earrings down behind the register. Bizzy, do you think someone is trying to pin this on me?”

  “I don’t know.” But it sure as heck sounds like it.

  I help Arlene back into the bustling store as the voices and the laughter of the partygoers only seem to escalate despite the fact a swarm of sheriff’s deputies showed up in droves.

  “Look at all of these people, Bizzy. And Bea’s poor family.” She nods to where Kadence, Magnolia, and Ryan are noshing on Emmie’s butterscotch cookies. “I have to be the one to tell them.” She rushes over just as a loud noise erupts from the stockroom.

  We turn around to see Jasper giving a few loud claps over his head and by his side is deputy Leo Granger, Emmie’s soon-to-be husband. Leo has dark hair and a no-nonsense look to his handsome face. And the best part about Leo is that he happens to suffer the same supernatural affliction as I do. He can read minds.

  He lifts a hand my way. I’m sorry, Bizzy. I know Bea was your friend.

  I nod, because she was—and it’s horrible thinking about her in past tense.

  “I’m sorry,” Jasper shouts to the crowd. “But I’m afraid there’s been an unfortunate incident, and until we can notify family, that’s all I am allowed to say. I implore you to head for the door. There are six deputies stationed outside who will be collecting your name and contact information. If you think you saw something suspicious this evening, anything at all, I need you to mention that to the deputy you’ll be speaking with. Thank you so much.”

  The room roars back to life, this time with darker whispers and hisses as the word murder swims around the room at top speeds.

  Ryan takes a step toward Arlene. “What’s going on, Arlene?”

  Arlene shoots a knowing look my way. “It sounds as if he assumes I know exactly what’s happened. I already feel accused.” She scoffs at the three of them before her expression softens. “I’m sorry. Somebody killed Bea. It looks as if she was strangled in the back room—with my scarf.” She glares at the three of them as they gasp in unison.

  Kadence, the redhead, looks my way. “What is she talking about? Who would want to strangle Aunt Bea?” Me for one, but now that it’s happened, I’m keeping my mouth shut.

  I raise a brow at the comment.

  Magnolia presses a hand to her chest. “Oh dear, this is terrible.” Oh, thank God. Now we can get on with it. She glances to the crowd. And I don’t for a single minute think anyone here is sorry to see her go. I doubt her cats will notice. I’d better take them to the shelter myself. I’ll make sure they’re put down this very day. They’re all Aunt Bea cared about, she can have them.

  A choking sound emits from me. “I’ll watch over the cats until everything is figured out. Snuggles and Bingo get along great with my pets. That will work out fine.”

  Magnolia averts her eyes. “Thank you. I’m allergic.” Another animal nut-cake to the rescue. Sorry, Aunt Bea, no cats for you today. Although from what I understand, cats don’t take to heat very well.

  Another breath hitches in my throat.

  How can she be so cruel?

  Ryan blows out a breath. “Well, this is a nightmare. I’ll contact her attorney.” He nods to Arlene and me. “No need to prolong the reading of the will. We all know Aunt Bea has spent her entire life squirreling away her money. She bragged quite a bit about some advances she made in the market. You wouldn’t peg her for the Wizard of Wall Street, but according to her own bravado, she was just that. I guess we’re about to find out.”

  Magnolia bites down on a smile. “Do you think she split it evenly among the three of us?”

  Arlene sheds a wry smile. These twits have no idea how close Bea and I had gotten over the years. I can’t wait to see their faces when they see another name popping up in the will—mine. And I wouldn’t be so cocksure if Bea hadn’t let me in on it a few months back. I told her not to do it. God knows what difficulties it will bring into my life with these three. I bet there will be lawsuits. Honestly, depending on the sum, I might choose to forg
o it. Can you choose to forgo something like that? See there? I knew my addition to her will would only complicate things.

  “Well”—Arlene clasps her hands together—“I’m going to make sure things are running smoothly around here. I don’t know what the three of you have planned for this place, but I’m holding out hope I’ll still have a job.”

  “You will,” Kadence is quick to assure her. “I’m busy at the nursery, but if you need assistance, I suggest you hire someone. I trust you, Arlene. And we’ll keep the accountant for now as well.”

  “Wait a minute.” Magnolia snaps her head toward her sister, and her dark tresses fringe her face like black shards. “We might decide to sell this place. Why are you encouraging her to hire people?”

  Kadence scoffs. “Because God knows you’re not going to roll up your sleeves. This place was Aunt Bea’s heart and soul. It stays open for now. Besides, wouldn’t you rather offload all of this junk at a profit?”

  And just as I was starting to like her.

  Ryan steps in close to me. “I’m sorry you had to see her like that, Bizzy.” He picks up my hand and gives it a squeeze before I take it back. “I’ll check up on you at the inn.” He gives a sly wink before pulling out his phone and stepping away to make a call, presumably to the attorney.

  Wait a minute. How did he know I had found her body?

  Arlene takes off, and I leave the sisters to duke it out verbally as I take off for my mother and Georgie as they scoop up as many miniature crystal decanters as they can squeeze into those shopping baskets in their hands.

  “Whoa”—I say, holding a hand out as they struggle to clear an entire shelf of its crystal offerings—“Bea passed away.”

  “We heard.” Georgie clucks her tongue. “Couldn’t you have waited, Bizzy? Bea was a good egg. I would have liked to have said goodbye.”

  “We’ll do one better,” my mother says. “We’ll give her one last financial boost.”

  “I can’t believe you’re still shopping.” I scoff. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.”