Back to the Beginning

by Christina Gist

  After a rocky first week, Everley started settling into a new routine. There really wasn't much to do in Mer Harbor, but having a job helped. Having a cousin who had pull with the Sheriff had its perks. Answering phones in the tiny office may not have been her dream job, but it was a job, and it would help her get back on her feet.

  “Hey!” Brandi greeted her as she stepped into the sandwich shop. After her parents had retired, she’d taken over. The one time lunch stop had expanded into a “coffee and breakfast” stop. Everley was glad for the convenience… and the fact that the coffee was better than the sludge the gas station liked to pretend was coffee.

  “Your order is almost ready for pickup.”

  “Thanks.” Everley smiled as she walked up to the counter and took a seat. The shop wasn't exactly busy at the moment, so she thought a friendly conversation might be in order.

  “Your boy came in earlier,” Brandi grinned, “and he looked happier than I've seen him in years.”

  “My boy?” she asked, before realizing Brandi was definitely talking about Heath. “He's not mine, and I’m glad he’s happy, but it has nothing to do with me.”

  “He’s never moved on, you know,” Brandi commented.

  Everley groaned, “Brandi...”

  “I’m just saying. If you wanted to get back together, I’m sure he wouldn’t object.” The brunette was practically giddy about the idea.

  “No,” Everley corrected her, “I burned that bridge a long time ago, and we all know there are some things you can't come back from.”

  “But you want to,” Brandi stated.

  “I never said that.” Everley was done with this conversation. “Look, I think Ryan's going to be mad if I don't get his coffee to him soon.”

  Brandi gave her a disapproving look, but didn’t push any further. Instead, she disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a doggy bag and two coffee cups. “Just so you know, he never stopped loving you,” she said.

  “Thanks.” Everley took the food, paid, and didn't acknowledge the comment. The last thing she wanted to think about was Heath wasting his time pining for her when she wasn’t good enough for him. “See you later, Brandi.” She got up and headed towards the door, only to see Benjamin Masters walking by the window. With his son.

  What the hell was Benny doing in town?

  They looked like they were actually enjoying each other's company, which was odd, seeing as Benny had quite the blowout with his father back in high school. It was part of the reason he’d left town in the first place.

  “Everything all right?” Brandi asked, noticing her friend was frozen in place.

  Everley gasped when she saw the father and son start up the walk towards the door. She spun around, “Sneak me out the back?”

  “You can't avoid Heath forever,” Brandi teased.

  “Not Heath,” she said in a panic. “Benny and his dad.”

  The expression on her face went from smug to concern. “Come on!” Brandi unlocked and flipped up a section of countertop. “You remember the way?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” Everley sighed in relief, “thank you.” She slipped through the door of the kitchen just as the bells jingled at the entrance.

  ***

  “I'm sorry,” she heard Ryan say as she walked into the station, “you and I both know I can't touch the guy, or his slime ball of a son.”

  “He's going out of his way to make me miserable!”

  Jesus. It was Heath. Could this day get any worse?

  “If that's not enough, he keyed my car.”

  “Can you prove it?” Ryan asked. When Heath growled in response, Ryan sighed. “I don't doubt you, Heath,” he said, “but if we're going to pin anything on the guy, we'll need solid proof.”

  “The bastard hasn't grown up one bit,” Heath stated. “At least I only have to worry about vandalism. He hasn't got the balls to try anything else.”

  She couldn't help but agree. Benny had always done stupid things in school, but never anything serious enough to get him into major trouble. Heath had always been the target back then too.

  “I hate to interrupt, but I've got coffee,” Everley stated. She wanted nothing more than to slip out and wait for Heath to leave, but the coffee would get cold, and that would mean another trip to Brandi’s, and that would mean risking running into the other two people she was trying to hide from. At the moment, Heath was her safer option.

  “Did you know he was in town?” Heath turned to her, anger in his eyes. The whole town knew the Jones' and Benjamin Sr. had their differences, but the Masterses were the only ones who really caused problems over it.

  She recoiled, taken aback by the harshness of his tone. “Not until about ten minutes ago.”

  Heath took a deep breath and his expression softened. “Sorry, Evie. I shouldn't have made assumptions. I hope he didn't cause you too much trouble.”

  “Brandi helped me escape,” Everley said as she handed Ryan his coffee and food. “I'm sure I'll run into him eventually though.”

  “I'll find a way to get some proof,” Heath turned back to Ryan, “and I don't give a damn if it's just an infraction, he needs to start paying for his idiocy.” He frowned as his watch chimed. “Dammit, I need to get back to class.”

  “See you around,” Ryan said as Heath muttered goodbyes on his way out.

  Everley sat down next to the silent phone and frowned. “So, Benny’s in town and he's starting already?”

  “Those two have always hated each other,” Ryan sighed, “but Benny was always the antagonizer. I never could understand why you started seeing him, of all people.”

  “I was young and stupid?” she offered. Ryan raised an eyebrow, as if he wasn't buying it. Everley sighed, “I was heartbroken, wanted to escape, and he said the magic words.”

  “He asked you to run away with him?” Ryan guessed.

  “Exactly,” she said.

  “Did you love him?” he asked.

  That was a question she didn't want to answer, because the truth was, she hadn’t loved him, at least not like she should have. He had been a distraction and an escape. They’d run away after graduation, after his father forbade him to hang around “that troubled girl”, citing a need to protect his only son's reputation.

  Apparently, getting pregnant in Mer Harbor automatically made you a harlot. It didn't matter if you slept with one guy, or a hundred. If you were underage, or unwed, people stared at you like there was a huge scarlet letter stitched into your clothing.

  So, Benny had used her as a way to rebel, and she’d used him as a way to forget. It had been fun at first, but she’d still been in pieces over her loss, and eventually, they’d started to fight. He’d accused her of being in love with Heath still, and she’d insisted she wasn't, even though she’d known she always would be.

  Part of her had felt terrible, knowing she could never truly give Benny her whole heart, but it hadn’t stopped her from trying. She’d made a mistake going with him, but there was no turning back, so she’d done her best to make him happy.

  Marriage had always been an argument. Where she’d been content to just live together, he’d wanted that extra reassurance that she was his. He’d proposed several times, each proposal setting off alarm bells in her head. As bad as the relationship had become, she’d felt as though she owed him. He’d given her freedom, so she’d decided she could give him marriage.. It wasn’t long after they’d wed that he’d wanted more.

  He’d wanted children.

  She’d figured, why not? Maybe a baby could help her love him the way she should. Of course, common sense said that was not how things worked, but she could try. A new baby would never replace what she’d lost, but maybe it would help fill the hole in her heart just a little bit.

  It hadn’t taken long for them to get pregnant. Benny had been thrilled, and for a moment, she’d thought she could be happy again.

  Things had taken a rotten turn when she miscarried. He’d accused her of all sorts of irrational thin
gs, from never wanting the baby in the first place, to insinuating that she’d lost it on purpose. She’d been devastated, but he hadn’t believed that her grief was genuine, and so she’d been left to mourn alone, while he’d gone out to find a replacement.

  The truth was she had loved Benny, even when things started rolling downhill quickly. So it had hurt when he cheated, and it had hurt when she filed for divorce. There was no denying that. He’d made a point long ago that she would never love him like she’d loved Heath, and as much as she’d denied it, that was the truth.

  “Not enough,” she finally answered.

  Chapter 5

  “Hey sweetheart.” Heath sat down on the grass by the headstone that marked where his little girl was buried. “I brought you a daisy.” He pulled the little white flower from his coat pocket and laid it next to the stone.

  She couldn't answer, and the grave was nothing more than a memorial, but visiting and talking as if she were listening made him feel better. “I know your birthday's not for another two weeks,” he continued, “but I've had a rough few days.” He choked up, “It's been nearly eight years, yet I still feel as if we lost you just yesterday. Your mother's come back into town, and that's probably part of the reason it hurts so much more right now.”

  “Sorry,” someone whispered softly. Heath looked up and saw Everley walking towards him, stopping a short distance away. “I didn't know you were here... I can come back later. ”

  “Nonsense,” he said quietly, “there's plenty of room here.”

  Everley hesitated, then started shaking. “I haven't been here since the funeral. It was always too painful-” whatever else she was going to say was lost in mumbles as she started crying.

  Heath stood and crossed the distance she'd left between them. He expected her to pull away when he wrapped his arms around her, but she stayed, burying her face in his chest as he tried to calm her. She continued talking, but it was hard to understand her muffled words. It sounded like apologies, but he couldn't quite make out for what. “Shhhh,” he soothed, “it's all right... I've got you.” He felt her arms wrap around his waist, and he squeezed her tighter, letting her know he wasn't going anywhere.

  Eventually, the tears stopped, and the sobs became softer. “Why?” she asked as she pulled back. “I don't deserve it.”

  “Evie,” he brought a hand up to her face and brushed a couple stray tears from her cheek, “why would you say that?”

  “I pushed you away, and I've been terrible to you the entire time I've been back. Why would you be nice to me?”

  “You've got your reasons,” he stated.

  “It's hard to be around you,” she admitted and tears started falling again, “because being around you brings back so many memories. But that's no excuse. You've never done anything to hurt me.”

  “I walked away,” he said.

  “Because I told you to,” she reminded him.

  “Didn't mean I had to listen,” he said. “I took the easy way out, because for the first time in my life, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't make it better, I couldn’t make you happy again, and it killed me. So, when you told me to get lost, I did just that, hoping it would help, but knowing it wouldn't. I'm sorry, Everley. I failed you.”

  “Is that why you came back?”

  “Yes. I came back because it was impossible to chase my dreams when I was missing half of them. Only, I came back too late. I missed you by mere days. I hoped with all my heart you would find the happiness you deserve, but now you’re back and I know you haven’t.”

  “But none of that is your fault,” she said, “I made my choices, and they were mine alone. You're not the one who failed, I am.”

  He could see in her eyes she was trying to process all the confessions. In a way, he was doing the same. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to kiss her, but he did… and for a brief moment, she kissed him back.

  Just as quickly as she gave in, she pulled away. She squirmed out of his arms and stepped back. “Are you crazy?” She hissed.

  “Maybe I am,” he said, defeated. It was just one moment, but all he needed.

  He was still hopelessly in love with her.

  “We can't do this,” she stated.

  “Why not?” He took a step closer to her, only to be crushed all over again when she backed away even further. “Everley, just talk to me. Please?”

  “I have to go,” she said quickly, turning away and running towards her car.

  “Dammit,” he muttered. He wanted nothing more than to chase after her, but as he watched her car speed away, he knew that was the last thing she needed. Everley liked to run, and chasing her would only make her run faster.

  ***

  School was the worst. It was bad enough that her parents kicked her out, did everyone in the whole town have to know about it too?

  Everley and Heath had skipped school that Friday, and by the time they returned on Monday, rumors and speculations were running rampant.

  “They've got nothing better to do,” Heath assured her. “Don't pay any attention to the gossip.”

  She wished she could be as strong as he was, but then again, he wouldn't have to deal with the whispers and stares when she started showing. As the weeks wore on, she knew she was right. Even when her bump was practically microscopic, people seemed to notice. The end of the school year just wasn't coming fast enough either. Every time she wanted to disappear though, Heath was right by her side, protecting her from the worst of it. Girls who had been with half the football team were the meanest, treating her like she was some sort of slut who got what she deserved. Finally, Heath had enough of that and started calling them out whenever they started in on Everley. At one point, he made the head cheerleader cry after he named off all the guys she'd been with.

  “How did you know all that?” Everley asked.

  “Guys talk,” he shrugged, “I may not be on the football team, but we've got some of their guys playing baseball. She's also slept with the pitcher, second baseman, and the catcher. Anyway, are you coming to the game tonight? I've gotta be there early, but I'm sure Harper could give you a ride.”

  “I don't know,” she frowned.

  “You've never missed a home game,” he said, “your best friend is going to be there. She won't let anyone bother you.”

  That night, she sat with her best friend, as planned. Just before the game began, they were joined by Harper's step-sister, Gabriella, who had just started seeing the first baseman, Owen. Gabriella still made Everley nervous, seeing as when her mother first married Harper's father, things were rocky. She hated Harper, and because Everley was her best friend, she was hated too. It couldn't have been easy, going from being an only, spoiled child to having a sister the same age as you. The two fought like crazy for the first few years, but the summer before high school, something changed. Instead of hating each other, they started enjoying each other's company.

  Still, Gabriella could be moody, and Everley wasn't sure how to handle her. But she was friendly enough, and she hadn't made a snide remark towards Everley about anything, despite the fact that it was now the in thing to talk trash about the pregnant girl.

  “He's got a nice ass,” Gabriella stated, “don't you think?”

  “What?” Everley pulled herself from her thoughts and tried to focus on whatever Gabriella was talking about.

  “Owen,” she laughed, “he’s got a nice ass.”

  “Oh, God,” Harper rolled her eyes and giggled, “last week you were going on and on about his arms, and now it's his butt?”

  “I love baseball pants,” Gabriella mused. “Everley's the smart one, she's been dating Mister Baseball Pants since little league.”

  “I have not,” Everley blushed.

  “Beg to differ,” Harper smiled, “maybe not officially, but you two have pretty much been together since the day you met.”

  “I was five,” she reminded her friend.

  “Gabriella's right,” Harper grinned as Ryan stepped up to bat. “Bas
eball pants are nice.”

  “Better watch the company you keep.” The three girls looked over to see Miss Head Cheerleader standing with a couple girls from her clique. Of course she'd return with reinforcements.

  Gabriella didn't skip a beat, leaving her spot at Harper's side and standing between the girls and Everley. “Pregnancy isn't contagious, but I'm pretty sure whatever disease you've got is.”

  Everley was surprised to see Gabriella standing up for her, it had never happened before.

  “And what are you implying?” the girl asked.

  “Not implying anything,” Gabriella snapped back. “It's pretty common knowledge that you passed something on to the catcher.”

  “I think it was the first time Jackson ever caught something,” Harper chipped in.

  “So, if you want to pass judgment, then by all means, please do. But know that we'll be airing out all your dirty laundry if you decide to go down that road. Believe me sister, I know plenty.” Gabriella was ready to fight fire with fire, and Everley couldn't be more grateful. When the girls huffed off (likely to regroup and come up with a new plan of attack) Gabriella sat next to Everley. “Don't listen to those skanks.”

  “Thank you,” Everley smiled. Maybe she was wrong about Gabriella.

  “In Jackson's defense,” Harper was obviously feeling a little guilty about her joke, “he was drunk. I'm pretty sure he regrets hooking up with her, because he swore up and down the next day it was terrible and would never happen again.”

  “I won't tell him about your quip,” Gabriella promised. “But it was a good one.”

  The rest of the game went on without incident, and the girls all promised not to utter a word to the guys about what happened. However, Everley couldn't help but spill her guts on the ride home. Heath could always tell when something was wrong, and he was good at getting her to talk.

  “Don't say anything,” she begged. “We all promised we wouldn't say anything, because it just doesn't need to escalate.”

  “That damn bitch,” he growled, “I won't say a word, but if she tries to start shit again-”

  “No.” Everley cut him off. This was exactly what she didn't need. “It's just some dumb cheerleader trying to make herself feel better.”