by E. L. Todd
I needed to get out of the situation before I did something stupid.
“How about a one-night with no strings attached?”
Did I hear her right? Did she just say that?
“I miss you and you miss me. Let’s just do it.”
I discreetly adjusted my jeans because my hard on was uncomfortable.
“I don’t expect anything out of you, Cayson. I know it doesn’t mean anything.”
She was making it so easy for me. She was giving me all the terms I wanted. I wanted to feel her under me, to listen to her moan while I kissed her. I wanted to have her but protect my heart at the same time. “Okay.”
If she was surprised that I agreed to it, she didn’t show it. “Let’s go.”
***
When we walked into her apartment, I felt my blood pound in my ears. I was nervous and my palms were sweating. I was desperate for her. She was the only person I could be with, and I was finally going to have her after being apart for a year. I couldn’t forgive her, but at least I could share something with her.
After she locked the door, she grabbed the straps of her dress and pulled them down.
The nighttime skyline burned through the floor-to-ceiling windows. It was dark, but bright enough to see clearly. When her chest was revealed, I stared at the shamelessly. They were even more beautiful than I remembered. They were perky and big, large enough to cover my entire hand.
She pulled it down until she stood in her thong and heels.
Oh. My. God.
I breathed hard, unable to process how sexy she was. Her waist was an hourglass figure, and her thin legs were tone and firm. She pulled her hair loose, and it trailed down her front. My throat suddenly went dry.
She stared at me then came closer to me. Her hands moved to my arms. It was the first time we touched each other since we broke up. Her hands lit me on fire. I stared down at her, memorizing every curve and valley.
She looked up at me, breathing hard. Then she leaned in.
Just before she touched her lips to mine, I felt a stabbing pain in my chest. All the agony from the past year came to me, returning with a vengeance. I remembered the way she broke the news to me, the way she didn’t look at me as she said it. I was numb everywhere, feeling my world fall apart. My life ended at that moment. I was so upset I swore I’d never have another relationship again. I never wanted to feel that kind of pain again. I still didn’t.
I stepped back. “No.” I turned around and closed my eyes. “Seducing me isn’t going to fix anything.” My words echoed in her pent house. “You can’t just erase a year of suffering by taking off you dress. You can’t assume a night of passion will bring us closer together. I told you I couldn’t do this until I was ready. I’m not and I’m not sure if I ever will be.”
She stayed behind me and didn’t touch me. “Cayson, I—”
“Every time I look at you, I just want to take you back and pick up where we left off. But then the pain of all the shit you put me through comes back to me. How could you do that to me? How could you lie to me for so long?”
She stayed quiet.
When I turned around, her dress was back on. Her eyes contained her sadness, as well as her embarrassment. “I can apologize over and over, as long as you need me to—”
“Apologies are just empty words. Your actions are far more important. You lied to my face. You lied. Do you understand that?”
Her eyes pooled with moisture. “I know…”
“No, you don’t know! You threw us away. How can I ever believe that I actually mean anything to you if you treated me like that? What did you think was going to happen? I was just going to accept it and move on? You’ve pulled a lot of shit in our relationship but this…this is just over the top.”
“Cayson, I know.”
“I don’t think you do!” I got in her face and screamed.
Tears started to fall. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back.”
“You had a fucking year to take it back!”
“I went to your apartment but—”
“You still should have told me. So what if I slept with some girl? If I did, I had every right to. And obviously, I wouldn’t have done it if I knew I had a chance with you. All of this is your fault. You broke me. I can’t even begin to explain how much pain you put me in. There aren’t enough words and definitions to fully explain it. How could you possibly live with yourself?”
She wiped her tears away and sniffed.
“Stop crying! Do you know how much I cried? Do you know I took three showers a day because it was the only place where I could release my grief in silence? And you know what the worst part is?”
She looked at the floor.
“You weren’t even going to tell me. Trinity is the one who spilled your secret. She was the one who told Slade. It wasn’t even you!” I breathed hard while the anger rocked through my. My head was pounding with a migraine. My arousal was gone and all I felt was blinding rage. “Fuck you, Skye! Fuck you.”
She sniffed again.
“I can’t deal with this right now.” I walked away from her and headed to the front door.
“Cayson, please,” she begged. “I’m sorry!”
“Sorry doesn’t fix what you did. You broke my spirit. Do you understand that? I almost lost who I was because of you. I’ve wanted you my whole life, and when I finally had you, you treated me like garbage.”
“I did it because I love you!”
“No! Don’t pull that shit!” I marched back to her and gripped her by the shoulders. “You don’t have any right to say that to me! Don’t you dare blame that on love! That was not love. And if it is, then every time you tell me you love me it’s absolutely meaningless.” I shook her hard then released her. I was so pissed off I couldn’t see straight. I wanted to strangle her and make her feel the hurt that I did.
Unable to look at her for a moment longer, I stormed out and slammed her front door. When I heard the door collide with the frame, I screamed. “AGHHHH!”
Chapter Fifteen
Trinity
“How’d it go last night?” I asked as soon as Skye walked through the front door of Mega Shake.
“How’d you think?” She fell into the seat across from me. Her hair was in loose bun, and her face was free of make up. Sadness pooled in her eyes.
“Did you sleep with him?” I hoped her answer was yes.
“No.”
“What…why not?” I demanded. “I dragged Slade out of there and gave you an opening. “I’m telling you, if you just seduce him and sleep with him, he’ll cave and take you back in a heartbeat. Whenever Slade is pissed off at me, I fuck him the way he likes and he literally forgets what we were fighting about.”
“First of all, you and Slade fight all the time, and it’s never about anything important. Secondly, Slade is an idiot and can’t remember anything anyway. And three, Cayson isn’t Slade.” She slouched over the table and rested her head on one hand. “Sometimes I wish he was.”
“But you look so gorgeous last night,” I snapped. “I did your hair for two hours. There was no way he could turn you down. What the hell happened?”
“I got him back to my place for a one-night stand, but after I took off my dress he flipped out. He started screaming and yelling at me.” She covered her face and sighed. “I knew it was a bad idea.”
“You were naked in front of him and he turned you down?” I asked incredulously. Slade couldn’t turn me down even if a million dollars was on the table. His biggest weakness was sex, and if he was in the middle of telling me off, all I had to do was flash him and his train of thought disappeared. “Is Cayson gay?”
“He’s just…really upset. I don’t blame him.”
I felt defeated. “I guess getting you guys back together will be harder than I thought…”
“Yeah.” Skye’s eyes looked hollow. “I understand why he’s upset, and I know why he needs to take this slow. I just need to be patient with him. T
rying to rush him was a stupid idea.”
“It wasn’t rushing him,” I argued. “It was just sex. People randomly hook up all the time.”
“Cayson isn’t people. We both know how sensitive he is. When we finally sleep together, he wants it to mean something.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m glad Slade is romantic, but not girly.”
“Cayson isn’t girly,” she argued. “He’s the greatest guy I know…and I threw him away.”
I hated seeing my best friend like this. “Skye, don’t do this. You were putting him first and being selfless. I was there. I remember how much it hurt. I know you wouldn’t have gone through with that if you had another choice.”
She started to pick at her nails, keeping her face averted. “When I think about reversing our situations, I really don’t know if I’d be able to forgive him. It’s a huge betrayal.”
“Yes, you would,” I said without hesitation. “You’re stubborn and stern, but you’d forgive Cayson in a heartbeat.”
“I don’t know…”
I took both of her hands. “Girl, you will get back together. Don’t give up, okay?”
“I’ll try…”
“Whenever you have doubts, just remember how much he loves you.”
“But he’s so—”
“His anger will pass. Let him get through it and manage it on his own. He’ll be ready eventually.”
She pulled her hands away. “It’s not like I have a choice, right?”
The door opened and Slade walked inside. “Who’s that smoking hot number?” He shielded his eyes like he was looking at a mirage.
I rolled my eyes because he said the cheesiest things. But the truth was, I loved all the lines he pulled. Slade was always honest, so I knew he meant them.
He came to me then kissed me like he needed me to function. “My lady.”
“My man.” I saw stars and I felt dizzy.
“I like that…your man.” He nuzzled my neck and kissed me gently, his warm breath falling on my skin.
When I spotted the pained look on Skye’s face, I pushed him away. “Not now.”
“Why?” He turned to Skye, and his good mood immediately evaporated. “Because of her? Who cares about her misery? It was her own doing.”
“Be nice,” I hissed.
“No.” He gave her a look of loathing. “Do you not know Cayson at all? He doesn’t want a one-night stand with you. He wants the relationship you ripped apart. Asking him for a night of meaningless sex only proves you don’t give a shit about him or how he feels.”
“Slade!” I gripped his arm. “Seriously, watch your mouth.”
“No,” he hissed. “Don’t expect me to be nice to her, not after what she did to Cayson.”
Skye was on the verge of tears.
“It was my idea,” I said. “I convinced her to do it.”
“And what were you trying to accomplish?” he asked incredulously.
“Sex brings people closer together.”
“No, it doesn’t!”
“Um, what happened with us?” I asked. “We were just fucking, and then a second later, we were in love.”
“Not a second later,” he argued. “And that’s different because we are meant for each other.”
“And Skye and Cayson are meant for each other!”
“No,” he argued. “Cayson deserves someone much better than Skye. She’s nothing but a liar and—”
I smacked him hard on the arm. “Knock it off!”
His jaw clenched while his eyes burned into mine.
“Just stay out of their relationship.”
“You’re one to talk!” he yelled.
“You’re being a dick,” I said. “If you can’t say anything nice to her, then don’t speak at all.”
“Fine,” he said. “I guess I won’t.” He stood up and left the booth.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Getting far, far away from her.” He walked out.
Normally, I would chase after him but I couldn’t abandon Skye. “I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay,” she said immediately. “Really. If Slade hurt you, I’d be the first one to give him hell.”
“I’ll talk to him and make him come around.”
“Give him time. I know he and Cayson are both struggling with everything.” She looked down at her hands and wouldn’t meet my gaze.
“It’ll be alright, Skye.”
“I hope so…”
***
I called Slade later that night. He didn’t answer. I texted him instead. Don’t ignore me.
He didn’t respond.
I called him again.
He answered on the first ring. “I don’t want to talk to you right now. Leave me alone.”
“No, we’re going to talk.”
“Fuck you, Trinity.”
“Why are you so mad at me?” I asked.
“How are you not mad at Skye?” he asked incredulously.
“Look, you need to be mature about this. Being a dick to Skye isn’t helping Cayson or her. Just be an adult and stay out of their business.”
“Like you?” he said sarcastically.
“I mean it,” I hissed. “Skye already feels like shit, so stop trying to make her feel like worse.”
“You know what?” he yelled.
“What?”
“I hope they don’t get back together.”
Silence ensued. I breathed hard, the wind knocked out of me. “Take that back. Now.”
“No. Forget it.”
“Slade…”
“I don’t know why everyone likes Skye so much. If you ask me, she’s a little know-it-all who thinks she can do and say whatever the hell she wants. She’s a spoiled brat who doesn’t care about anyone but herself.”
My head wanted to explode. “She sacrificed her happiness so Cayson could go to his dream school, asshole.”
“There were so many other things she could have done,” he snapped. “She could have went through the charade but moved to California with him after it was too late for him to drop out of Stanford. Now, that would have been selfless. Giving up her father’s company so he could pursue his career would have been selfless. Lying to him and making him believe the most painful lie is not selfless. That shit is just plain selfish. If you ever pulled that shit on me, we’d be done.”
“You don’t mean that.”
He didn’t argue the point. “You can’t make me be nice to Skye. When Cayson hurts, I hurt. She betrayed me as much as she betrayed him. And then she pulled that number last night. It’s like she doesn’t know him at all. If she really wants him back, she better start showing it.”
“You acting like this isn’t helping either one of them,” I argued. “Stay out of it, Slade. You don’t need to be nice to Skye, but you don’t have to sabotage their chances of getting back together.”
“I’m not sabotaging anything. Cayson can do whatever the hell he wants. But I really think he can do better.”
“Don’t ever say that again.”
He growled into the phone. “Maybe this is a newsflash for you, but not all relationships have happily ever afters. Some people pull stupid shit and ruin it. Cayson and Skye not getting back together isn’t the end of the world.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Isn’t Cayson your friend too?” he demanded. “You’re just going to accept the way Skye treated him?”
“Of course he’s my friend,” I argued. “I’m not happy about what happened either. Initially, I told Skye not to do it, but as time wore on, I understood her decision. But the bottom is, I know Skye loves Cayson. And I know he loves her. As friends, we should get them back together, not keep them apart.”
Slade hung up.
He did not just hang up on me.
I called him back.
“What?” he snapped.
“Pull that shit again and we’re done.” I hung up on him.
He called me back. “You threaten to leave me for hang
ing up on you, and then you pull that same shit on me?”
“That’s right.” I hung up again.
He called me back. “You’re fucking annoying.”
“Then hang up. I dare you.”
I could hear him grit his teeth over the phone.
“That’s what I thought.” Then I hung up again.
***
Janice texted me and invited me over for dinner that night. Since Slade didn’t text me or mention it, I assumed he had no idea. We hadn’t spoken since our fight, and I didn’t particularly want to see him. I knew he didn’t want to see me either. But Janice was going to be my mother-in-law someday, so if she invited me to dinner, I wouldn’t say no. Besides, I liked spending time with them. Ryan and Janice were fun, and I hoped Silke would be there.
When I arrived at their door, Janice answered it. “Hey, sweetheart. Thanks for coming.”
“Thanks for inviting me.” I held out the tub of brownies I made.
“Wow, those look great. Thank you.” She placed them on the counter. “Dinner is almost ready.”
“Do you need help?”
“No, I got it.”
Slade looked over the couch then made an annoyed expression took over his face. “What’s she doing here?”
Janice gave him her noteworthy attitude. “Excuse me?”
“You should let me know when you invite company over.”
“I did,” she snapped.
“When?”
“This morning when you left for work.”
He rolled his eyes. “You know I’m not really awake until noon.”
“Not my problem.” She gave him a glare. “And I thought you would be excited to see your girlfriend. She’s lovely—unlike you.”
“Whatever,” he mumbled. He turned back and looked at the TV.
I sat on the opposite couch and didn’t look at him.
He didn’t look at me. “Why don’t you have dinner with Skye, the coolest person ever?”
“Why don’t you grow a pair and stop being a dick?”
He gave me a hateful look, clearly wanting me out of his apartment. He opened his mouth to speak, but changed his mind and closed it.
