Leaning against the wall, feeling like the two-hundred-pound gorilla clinging to her back took extra pleasure in choking her, Emma closed her eyes and let her shoulders slump. She needed a few minutes before returning to the hospital room. Unexpected emotions flooded, and she swallowed repeatedly, trying to dislodge the lump that warned of waterworks on their way. No matter how hard she fought, they wouldn’t be denied. A sob broke loose and then another. Sinking into the nearby seat, she loosened the bonds and let nature have its way.
Seeing Mickie so small and sickly, lying alone in her death bed had been hard to bear. And having the man across from her looking so detached hadn’t helped whatsoever. It was like she couldn’t show weakness, let her emotions flow or be herself because he was so strong, and maybe he’d find her weak link, her big squishy heart, and then use it to take advantage.
God, she had to keep it together. Show him she was nobody’s fool; he couldn’t walk all over her decisions or play her like she’d been played in the past. Biting down hard, she wiped her eyes and forced back her vulnerability. This man had to see her for the successful business owner and self-sufficient woman the rest of the world saw. Escaping to the ladies’ room, she made her repairs and headed back to be with her dying friend and her new son.
Careful not to disturb, she slid open the door and the sound of a man’s voice whispering low stopped her. Not knowing whether to continue inside, she hesitated and heard the words not meant for her ears.
“I’m so sorry, Michele. For not being here for you and Teddy. For abandoning Justin these last years to pursue my selfish dreams. I was a fool, and I’ve missed out on so many precious memories. I truly wanted to be here for you, help you raise Teddy and make up for my absence. Whether it could have happened like I envisioned, you and me rearing the boy together, probably not. But I make you this promise. I’ll always be here for Teddy. No matter what Emma Hayden decides. If I have to fight for time with him in a court of law, so be it. But I won’t let you or Justin down again.”
The words captured Emma’s interest, but it was the emotional voice that grabbed her heart and squeezed it hard. So hard, she had to return to the room down the hall and redo her earlier repairs.
When she returned, Joel was holding Teddy in his arms, cradling him carefully and whispering to keep him quiet. The child appeared absorbed. Though he must have needed a change of diaper and some supper by now, he cooed along with Joel and seemed happy.
She tiptoed over to the cot the nurses had brought in in case one or the other of them wanted a nap and dug into Mickie’s baby bag filled with necessities for Teddy, the one Alice had shoved at her before she’d entered the ambulance. Laying everything out like it showed in the book, and the way Mickie had taught her, she gestured for Joel to bring his nephew to her. She handed him a fuzzy washcloth and nodded toward the sink. “Will you rinse that for me, please?”
***
“Sure.” Joel laid Teddy on the bed where Emma had made room and did as she asked. Then he returned to watch every awkward move she made. It was clear that this wasn’t something she was proficient at. In fact, she kept dropping the cloth and without his help in keeping Teddy from either reaching up to grab for her hair or twisting off the bed, she would have had a hell of a time cleaning his bottom and getting him in dry clothes.
“You haven’t spent much time with babies, have you?”
She looked at him. He was expecting the same cold, veiled stare she’d been flashing his way since they met in the hospital room a few hours ago, but this time, she shocked him. Her shy gaze held a question, and it hovered as if she couldn’t decide whether to ask it or not.
Her words were softly spoken and kind. “It shows that much? I’ve been spending a lot of time with Mickie since she chose me to adopt Teddy, but it still doesn’t come easy. As you can see, I’m all thumbs when I have an audience. Teddy’s growing so quickly, and he has a mind of his own, especially when it comes to keeping him still when his diaper needs changing.”
Joel took a set of shiny keys from his pocket and handed them to the wigglepuss she fought to control. As soon as the baby saw the new toy, he grinned his pleasure and reached for it, becoming instantly absorbed, so much so that he lay quite happily allowing Emma to have her way with dressing him in his clean clothes.
Chuckling, Joel said, “Being that Teddy is a male, car keys are always a good form of amusement in times like this.”
Speaking without any forethought, she queried, “And you don’t think a female would have found a bunch of noisy keys amusing too?”
Hands up as protection, Joel jokingly took a tiny step back. “Yes, ma’am. They most certainly would have grabbed just as greedily as our boy here.”
His unplanned silliness brought a quirky smile from the woman across from him. For the first time since they met, her face suddenly came into focus. If someone would have asked him earlier to describe Miss Emma Hayden, he probably would have commented on the broom she used for transportation, and her witchy attitude.
He’d never have added that her flyaway chestnut hair framed a lovely face and the soft brown eyes that earlier drilled into his with dislike and fear were different when comprised of friendliness overriding the grief.
A noise from the bed made them both swing toward Mickie. Without any intentions of usurping Emma’s new mother role, Joel automatically picked up the baby so they could both approach where Mickie again lay at peace.
Glad that Emma didn’t seem to mind him taking over, he watched as she stiffened and reached for Mickie’s hand. Holding it between both of hers as if it were too precious to let go, they waited for the next breath. It came slowly, and then another slower yet and then there were no more.
Gently, she replaced Mickie’s hand and hers lay there empty. Instincts kicked in and he held his own hand across for Emma’s, which she quickly gripped for the comfort he’d unconsciously offered. They stood together with Mickie’s son snuggling quietly against his uncle’s shoulder, as if he sensed this moment was important. It was the first time since they arrived at the hospital that he didn’t fuss to go to his mother but seemed perfectly content to be cuddled in the big man’s arms.
The nurse who had been so kind in helping them during this time appeared in the doorway and approached the bed. Joel stepped aside so she could use her stethoscope to ensure that the patient had taken her final breath. With a solemn nod, she let them know that Mickie had joined her Justin and they were back together.
A sob broke from Emma, raw and aching. That’s when Joel stepped to her and wrapped one arm around her, while in the other, the now crying boy clung. Joel whispered the words crowding his heart, the only ones appropriate at a time like this, ones he knew his brother and the boy’s mother would approve. “It’s okay, Teddy. Mama’s at peace. There’ll be no more pain… no more fear. Shush, now. Your uncle and your new mom will take care of you. Things will be just fine, boy.”
Chapter Seven
Emma never imagined she’d fall apart when Mickie’s time came. She’d have put money on the fact that by being pre-warned her strong will power would kick in, and she’d be able to carry on. But that wasn’t the case. Without Joel there to oversee all the necessities, the paperwork for the hospital so they’d have their forwarding addresses, she had no idea what she would have done. The fact is, she was no more prepared for the emergency than anyone else overcome by such heartbreak.
If it hadn’t been that Teddy needed her now more than ever, she most likely would have gone home, crawled into her bed to grieve and let the world go to hell. Except she was a new mother. One with a six-month-old who had no idea that his world had suddenly changed. That his future would no longer be in the only home he’d ever known, nor would he be living with the only person he’d ever been with or truly recognized… his mother Mickie.
All was changed. And Emma had to ease into that new normal right now. Feeling the weight of her seemingly insurmountable problems, she gathered hers and Teddy’s belong
ings and started to head for the exit. Adrift, her mind in a huge muddle, she tried to calm the distraught baby, thinking of one thing only. Get him home where she had all the equipment she’d amassed for his needs, and then she could deal.
The fact that he was screaming his hunger for the world to hear kind of slid past her shock until Joel rushed up, reached to pat the boy and stopped her in her tracks. “Where are you going?”
“Huh?”
“I said, where are you going with Teddy? He’s hungry. He needs to eat, and he needs a bottle. We have to feed him.”
“Okay. Where? I don’t know. I’m sorry. He’s crying. I’m so sorry.”
“Emma, it’s fine. Look, we’ll go to the lunchroom here in the hospital. They’ll be able to warm his bottle. You did bring him one, yes?”
“No. I didn’t know I’d be taking him home with me today. I didn’t bring anything. But Mickie packed his bags, and Alice said she’d brought them all with her. I know Alice shoved this one at me in the ambulance. Here.”
As if she could hand over all responsibility that now loomed above her like a cloud of doom, she not only gave him the bag, she also pushed the screamer into his arms. Uncertain of her reasons, she waited for what he would say next, waited for orders and all the while, she swiped at her dripping tears and sniffled like a child.
He stopped in front of the men’s restroom and gently encouraged Emma to take a nearby seat. “You wait here for a few minutes and I’ll give Teddy a clean diaper. We won’t be long.”
A few minutes later, he interrupted her trance. “Come on, honey. The restaurant’s upstairs. We’ll take the elevator there.” He took her arm and steered her over. “Shush, big boy. We’ll get you some food in a few minutes. That’s the lad. Shush now for Uncle Joel.”
How it all came about, she could never remember, but within a short time, Joel had organized a highchair, a bottle to be warmed, bought apple sauce for her to feed Teddy as an appetizer and some banana pudding as a follow-up for dessert. Teddy gulped everything down greedily, grasping at the spoon, her hand, her hair… anything he could reach.
While she wrangled with the little munchkin to get him fed, Joel rounded up coffee and sandwiches for them. The aroma of caffeine had never smelled or tasted better. Not a fan of egg salad sandwiches, these were a culinary delight. Which reminded her, she hadn’t eaten all day, and it was now past her normal suppertime.
Oh God! She still had to get her new son home and settled for the night, and… then she had to find a babysitter for him for the next morning. After the results of today, she understood how vital it was for her to get that money in the bank. If she could coast for a few weeks until Teddy was stable and settled into her home, it would be the best scenario of all.
Plus, having those weeks meant she’d have time to search for a new nanny. They could set up a routine where his needs took precedence. And she could carry on with her career that was essential now that she had a son to raise.
Aware that other than a few pieces of furniture and their clothes, Mickie had been living off the money in the joint bank account that Justin had set up for them. She’d pretty well run through it all, and Emma had been helping her the last few weeks.
Thank God, Justin had savings, enough to cover Mickey’s expenses once she’d given up her own bank clerk position. The local church had helped, found her Alice, who worked pro bono because of Mickie’s personal situation. Her neighbor across the hall had been kind and took care of Teddy when she was needed, and the food bank, a local day care and other facilities had stepped in to help ease her way at the end.
Suddenly, a bulb lit in her head, and she passed Teddy over to a delighted Joel and quickly pulled out her cell phone. Frantic, searching for the number of the woman across the hall where Mickie would often leave Teddy if she had an appointment with the lawyer, she held her breath. Damn, what was her name? She scanned her contacts list and suddenly the name Mrs. Hendrickson came to mind. Pushing the dial button, she kept her expectations from reaching the sky while she waited for the woman to answer.
Only no one did. She looked at the woman’s details and it said she was Mickie’s neighbor. It was the correct number. Emma tried again and still no answer.
Joel spoke, his voice interrupting her internal breakdown. “What’s wrong, Emma? I guess we’re on first name terms now, right?”
“Yes, of course. I – I’ve been trying to get hold of the woman who lived across the hall from Mickie, the one she used as her babysitter. Gosh, I’m so foggy right now. I’m sorry. I’ve tried twice, but she’s not answering.”
“And that matters, why? I was there earlier, and she had a packed suitcase by the front door. That might explain why she hasn’t picked up.”
Feeling her stomach revolt, the food she’d just wolfed down threatening to reappear, she had to take a quick gulp from the water glass in front of her. Head hanging, she saw the stains on her black slacks from the baby food that had missed its mark. Scrubbing at them, using her napkin dipped in the water, she forgot the question.
“Emma, why does it matter that you couldn’t reach Mrs. Hendrickson?”
Joel’s words broke through her fog. She checked his expression and found only a kind enquiry on his face, no condemnation, no sarcasm. Her voice broke, but she threw the napkin back on the table and took a big breath, the following words tumbling out – running together – hard to understand.
“I need a babysitter for tomorrow morning.” Recognizing that she sounded on edge, she slowed down to explain. “You probably think I’m an awful mother already, but I didn’t know Teddy would be coming home with me today. Mickie arrived at Alice’s office with all their belongings and said she’d had a setback. That she needed to go into the hospital. And that I would have to take Teddy with me then and there. Alice tried to reach me, but I was out of the office and never got the message. So, when I arrived earlier, I had no idea. All I had expected was to sign the final papers and spend time with Mickie and Teddy. She’d begged me to let him stay with her until she had to go into the hospital, and under the circumstances, I certainly wasn’t going to refuse.”
“Of course not. So, your life has been turned upside down with the recent happenings?” Joel looked sympathetic and Emma found no reason to hold back. After all, he’d been her guardian angel over the last few hours. Gentle and understanding when she’d needed him. Suddenly, she got swept away by the blueness of his soft gaze and her heart thumped out a warning. The one she never ignored. Never! To get involved with a man meant a broken heart, years of recriminations and a lifetime of tears. Her one experience had engraved that message on her spirit. She’d been down that dreadful road once in her life, and once was enough.
But she needed him. Watching him amuse Teddy now showed clearly that he had a way with babies. “Tell me about Joel Stronge. I know you’re a journalist, away from the city more than you’re here, and that Justin loved you. Other than that, I know very little.”
He kissed Teddy’s head and handed him the keys once again. Settled in his chair, his leg crossed over his other knee, a man relaxed and at peace, he smiled warily and answered. “That was in the past. I’m home for good now. In fact, earlier today I accepted a job as a night editor with the Times. I start next week.”
Pulses ramped up, excitement suddenly peaked, Emma thought about the possibilities. After all, the man was Teddy’s uncle. She knew he wanted a place in her son’s new world. How could it hurt?
“So, what are your plans for tomorrow morning?”
Chapter Eight
Later, at Emma’s apartment where he’d driven them from the hospital, Joel looked around at the spacious layout of a place most New Yorkers would give their first born for and felt overwhelming relief.
The homey furnishings and bright colors set the rooms up perfectly. It was a space where one could easily raise a child. Plenty of room, lots of windows letting in the evening light and window boxes everywhere that showed a delightful array of flowers and pl
ants behind screened panes.
She obviously had a knack to grow things, which opened a tiny crevice into her personality. He took it to mean that she loved more than herself and cared about the beauty around her. Which might also explain why she’d decided to adopt. Even though he’d wondered about a husband – he’d seen her empty finger, and she hadn’t mentioned a husband or contacted one.
“Teddy’s out cold. He’s had a big day, poor baby. Where do you want me to lay him down? Do you have a room set up for him?”
“Oh, yes. I’ve worked on making it just right for a boy.” She led him to a door off the main room. “I showed Mickie and Alice pictures and videos while I was in the process of getting it set up, and they both gave me great suggestions. Mickie helped tremendously, and when she saw the final room, she cried, saying any little boy would love to live here.”
As soon as she opened the door, he knew it to be true. She’d let the light from the big window fill the room. In the large rectangular window box in front, she’d planted all blue, yellow and purple pansies with gorgeous vines surrounding them. The protective screen would keep out any creepy-crawlies, but the incredible scents wafted throughout the room freely.
She’d painted the walls in blue and pearl-gray stripes. One side had a large white cork board where she’d displayed pictures of Mickie and Justin and a bunch of banners for wildlife environmental groups. There were stuffed teddy bears, giraffes, dogs and kittens hanging there also.
Delightfully framed in dark wood, his crib had a unique plaque with his name scrolled in gold, hanging off the end. Nearby, rested a deep blue rocking chair that invited one to curl up with the baby and wile away time.
Sweet and Sassy Baby Love Page 24
