Before he could continue his examination, Emma broke into his inspection and opened two wide doors to another mind-blowing scene. She’d had a small Murphy bed erected there that one could lower. All the baby’s necessities were on shelves within reach. No doubt, once he grew older, it would be a great place for him to have friends stay. But for now, it was low enough so a wriggling boy wouldn’t be hurt in a fall should he get so rambunctious that he flipped over the side. It also doubled as a great place to change him.
“I’m impressed. This is fabulous. Where did you come up with the idea?” He laid Teddy in his new crib and took the light blanket she passed over to cover him.
“I own a small Real Estate Agency called Homes for the Heart. Because of my job, I get to study a lot of houses, and I’ve collected wonderful ideas that way.”
Joel saw the flame of pride that sparked when she mentioned her work and knew she loved it. He looked down at the sleeping boy on his back, with his dark curls floating around his handsome little face. Arms spread out on each side as if he wanted to embrace the world; he’d turned his head to the right, with Joel’s keys still clutched in his tiny fingers.
All the moving parts inside Joel’s chest sped up and it shook him hard. This small boy was the perfect example of what he’d missed in his empty life.
He heard Emma sigh and saw her love for Teddy blazing so bright it hurt to watch without having a reaction. His throat tightened. He knew she’d be good to his nephew, no doubt in his mind. He reached to carefully take back his possession, but the boy wouldn’t give them up easily. Struggling to work them free without disturbing the sleeper, he saw Emma’s grin and knew they were both thinking the same thing. Likely, the boy would grow up having keys of his own.
Setting up the baby monitor and taking the handheld, she led the way out of the room and went straight to the kitchen off to the right of the large main room. Slumping onto a barstool, she waved him over. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Wine? A cold drink?”
“Why don’t I put on the kettle, and you make yourself comfy? Take off those ridiculously high-heeled shoes and relax now that you’re home?”
“Would you mind? I’ll only be a few minutes, and we need to talk.” She stopped. “You’ll wait, right?”
“Of course, I’ll be here.” Why’d she need his assurance when he’d just offered to make coffee? Strange...
A short time later, after she’d called out to him more than once, slender and pretty as sin, she reappeared in what appeared to be a comfortable matching outfit with soft green pants and a zipped top to match.
She’d brushed her hair that now hung surrounding her face in a soft waterfall of different lengths that gave her a cute pixie appearance and totally brought out the green highlights in her large brown eyes.
Without the added height from her shoes, she seemed small, more helpless, more approachable… weaker.
They took their coffees to the living room area and both sat on the blue-gray sofa. “You asked me what I was doing tomorrow and then you never answered me when I asked why? Do you need me to take care of Mickie’s funeral arrangements?”
Stunned, having not given any thought to that part of the immediate future, she replied, “No, she’s already made arrangements with Father Michael at the church she attended.” She took a deep breath and plunged. “I need you to look after Teddy.”
He stiffened, couldn’t help it. It was one thing to dive in headfirst and blurt out that he wanted the boy, but physically taking care of him hadn’t really registered. “Sure. I guess. Yeah. I can do that.”
She relaxed when she noticed his obvious fluster. “Did you have any plans at all for Teddy if you would have gotten custody?”
“Seriously?”
“Ye-ah. Seriously.”
He tried to fake her out, pretend he’d had it all together, but looking into her eyes, he knew she had his number. “Not really. I think my heart was prepared, but my head was up my… ahh, in the clouds. No doubt, I’d have figured it out, gotten help, arranged a housekeeper-nanny type person to assist.”
“Good luck with that.” She told him about her recent experiences in interviewing perspective childcare workers and nannies and why she was stuck now and frantic.
“You’re saying I’m your desperation choice?”
She checked his expression and relaxed, her face lightening up in a way that made him want to carefully push her hair back over her shoulders so he could see her lovely face. Truth was, he wanted to touch her skin and see if he’d get a shock. From where he was sitting, there was an underlying sizzle, one he’d have liked to pursue.
That kind of behavior was out of bounds, and he knew it. First time since forever when he’d met a woman he’d like to have hooked up with, and he was forced to play by civilized rules.
***
Emma’s breath caught. Not being too experienced in flirtation or understanding male behavior, she felt a sudden tension and her first instinct to flee had to be tempered. She needed his help, and she couldn’t afford to be silly or standoffish just because he was a man. These weren’t normal conditions. Emma needed all the help she could get in the short term. Teddy being here scared the stuffing out of her.
She’d questioned herself a few times over the last few hours – about her ability to take on the role she’d set herself up for. Be a mother… really? Whatever gave her the idea she could be a mom just because she loved kids and craved having that title?
“Are you rethinking your request?”
“What? No. I’m a hot mess right now and my brain function is almost non-existent. I’ve been questioning my sanity in ever thinking I could handle this on my own.” Unaware of how much she’d revealed, she dropped her head in her hands, totally overwhelmed.
“Hey. Don’t worry.” The urge to take her in his arms had to be blocked. Instead, he allowed himself to caress her hair gently. “It’s okay. I’ll be here. We can do this. We’ll work together. Right now, I’m off the job except for handing in my latest work. And it’ll be a few more days before I have the story completed. It’s no problem. I can look after the boy during the day.”
“You can?” Hope lit her eyes and relief shone bright. “If I can get away tomorrow morning and settle this particular client’s offer on a house he wants, it will give me the breathing space I need to finalize the arrangements for Teddy.”
“Then it’s a deal. I can be here at eight a.m. and help get Teddy set for the day, and you can go off and make a bundle of money.”
Laughing now, she grabbed his extended hand to shake on the deal.
Big mistake…
Even dropping it quickly, the alarming tingles didn’t diminish. Nor did the memory of the sultry look she’d seen in his eyes before he’d lowered them.
Chapter Nine
Emma lay awake on the small Murphy bed in Teddy’s room and thought about everything that had happened that day. The stress from her unexpected predicament and how traumatized she’d been when faced with the responsibility she’d so blithely taken on.
She didn’t often allow herself to visit the past, but since she’d started the adoption process with Mickie, those disturbing memories had returned with a vengeance and refused to shut off.
Once, in another lifetime, she’d had a baby… a little girl. Because of Emma’s age, she’d only just turned sixteen; she’d been forced to give her up for adoption. Her parents had guided her in the final decision – more like forced her by their threats to walk away and leave her to deal with the aftermath on her own.
Maybe if they’d been willing to step in and help her with the baby’s upbringing, she would have managed. They refused. Both suffered from various health issues and their dreams of retiring to Florida as soon as she’d graduated had been all they talked about.
And so, she’d gone with her mother to a clinic in Baltimore, to an old friend of her parents who put them up until she delivered the baby. They immediately took the child from her before she could hold or cud
dle her little darling.
The emptiness in her arms reverberated in her heart all the rest of her life. Not long after she’d walked away from her baby, the yearning hope… the growing plan to someday give a poor orphan the love she’d never been allowed to give her own offspring began to fester.
Heaven knew she hadn’t wanted to give up her child. Had prayed that, Chad, the father, would return like he’d promised after she’d tracked him down and told him the news. She should have known he was unreliable, a guy out for fun with no responsibilities.
Unable to place the full blame on his shoulders, that night not wanting to appear childish, she’d allowed him to ply her with booze, and when he took her to his car, she had no idea what was about to happen until it was too late.
To this day, she regretted having been deceived by his handsome face. Wowed by the attention he’d showered her with, she’d agreed to go to the dance she’d been forbidden to attend. Instead, she’d snuck out, a behavior foreign to her. Feeling apprehensive, yet daring, she’d been reckless and stupid.
What she’d deemed to be sophistication had turned out to be a swaggering lack of character. He’d moved on, no backward looks, no forwarding address. The lowlife just left town and never looked back.
Once again, she rose quietly and tiptoed over to stare at her new son. Nestled in his crib, his blanket draped over the fuzzy brown bear beside him rather than himself, Teddy still slept.
Careful not to disturb him, she caressed his small hand and pushed his curls away from his face. He was a beautiful baby. Not that most kids weren’t beautiful. Cautioning herself not to brag, she grinned at her foolishness.
Except, there was a special radiance about this boy. As if he loved the world around him and was thrilled to be part of it. His personality shone from his happy disposition and it was something that Mickie had boasted about from the first moment they’d met.
When Emma had questioned her about why she’d chosen her as Teddy’s new mom, the girl became very serious. “I know it’s strange, but you remind me of him. Your eyes, your quirky grin when you find something funny, even your face lights up the same way his does when he’s happy. I knew the first time Alice gave me your video to watch that you’d be perfect together. And I wasn’t wrong.”
Emma felt sadness overwhelm her thinking of Mickie and how her young life got cut off so devastatingly short. She made a pledge, looking at the boy, so full of thankfulness for having him as her son, she murmured, “You’ll never be sorry that you chose me, Mickie. I swear with everything I am or have, I’ll be the best mother to Teddy that I can possibly be. He’ll always come first in my life, be more important than anything else.”
Suddenly, an image appeared in her head and refused to be stamped out. A dark-haired man with sultry eyes, large shoulders and a gentle touch.
Sudden screams punctured the night’s silence and snapped her out of her dreamlike state. She jumped. Rushing to quiet him, she picked the baby up and cuddled him in her arms. Yet he wouldn’t let up. His cries got louder. The noise deafening. He wanted his mother. She knew it, and there was nothing she could do.
Earlier, giving up her own bed to move to his room, she’d gotten everything prepared for when he awoke. His bottle was ready to be heated as well as clean sleepers, a new diaper, the wet wipes and baby powder.
Unable to believe her earlier breakdown, when Joel had stepped in, she was determined to be on top of every situation from now on, the perfect mom – organized and unflappable. She’d tried to remember every possibility.
While she changed his diaper, he screamed. Picking him up and having the diaper slide off made her wish she could join him. Instead, she got the squirmer into a clean t-shirt and gave up on the bottoms. Wrapping him in a blanket, she headed for the kitchen to warm his milk and saw that the sun had risen. Lordy, she must have been up half the night.
“Shush, sweetheart. Emma’s trying. Please, calm down.” When she tried to fill the pan with the hot water from her special tap, Teddy jerked away from her and the whole works fell into the sink. The bottle drained because she hadn’t closed the top correctly.
Now, she had to fill it again while fighting with the escalating hysteric wriggling in her arms.
“Please, Teddy. Shuu. I’m doing the best I can here. Give me a break, darling. Emma’s getting you more milk.”
While she searched the fridge for the other bottle she’d prepared earlier, she spied the jars of baby food. Yesss! That’s it. Food. I’ll feed the little monster.
Holding him while trying to do anything wasn’t working out. She just needed her hands free for a minute. She laid him on the floor at her feet, making sure the blanket was under him and reached for the jar so she could warm it in the microwave.
Big mistake.
In a flash, still yelling at the world, the boy flipped over onto his knees and was off. Crawling like a snake through the underbrush, his little naked tush wiggling away, he made it under the table legs and sat up. His wails increased. When she dropped to her knees to coax him toward her, it was as if he hid behind bars just to get away from a monster who terrified him.
Feeling like the worst failure and rotten human being, she started sniffling and her eyes flooded over. Come on Emma, it’s not about you. Help your baby.
With his temper climaxing, his tiny hands rubbed at his face and into his hair. Plump arms flailed with frustration for not having things going his way.
And the only person who could have given him what he wanted was no longer in the same world.
Desperate, feeling like the worst human alive, the crappiest mother and a failure at being a woman, one who couldn’t even deal with a pintsized sad little naked-bottomed baby, she reached her arms toward the screamer and begged, “Come to Emma, Teddy. Please. That’s a good boy. Come on now.” She tried to wriggle in-between the table legs, but when she’d get too close, his cries escalated, and he flinched backwards, away from her reach.
Suddenly, the light came on and a male voice broke into the melee. “Can I help?”
Emma turned and saw an angel leaning against the counter with an amused smile on his face and a naughty gleam in his eye. “Oh my God, Joel. I’m so glad you’re here. I have no idea what to do. He’s crying.”
“I can see that.”
“He won’t stop. And he won’t come out from under the table.”
“We could always move the table.”
“I didn’t want to scare him. He’s very upset.” She had to raise her voice to be heard over Teddy’s noise.
Joel crouched down. He spoke loudly. “Teddy. Stop that caterwauling.”
The silence was deafening and oh so delightful. Joel took the table and carefully pulled it away from the wall, went behind and picked up the drenched boy and his blanket. His eyebrow lifted questioningly. “No diaper?”
Emma flinched. “It wouldn’t stay on. He wouldn’t stay still. It was a nightmare. I mean, I think he had a nightmare. One minute he was sleeping so peacefully, and the next thing I knew, he began crying uncontrollably. I didn’t know babies could do that.” She looked at the now placid, sweaty, red-faced child cuddled against Joel’s shoulder, sucking on his thumb, and her heart sunk. “He hates me. See. No way he’d let me carry him or change him.”
“When babies wake up, they expect the person they know to be there. They also expect to be in the place they recognize. He’s just letting you know that he’s not happy about the changes.
Once he spends more time with you, he’ll get used to the new order and accept you belong with him. He’s normally a happy little guy, right? It’s his nature. We’ll just give him time.”
“Time! Oh my God, what time is it?”
“Not to worry, I came earlier than you asked me to. You have plenty of time to get ready for your appointment.”
Slumping from relief, she quickly snatched the wet blanket from his hands and shoved it aside, then she managed a new bottle and got the baby food in the microwave to warm. In minutes
, she’d prepared what earlier appeared to be an insurmountable set of tasks. “I’m so glad I gave you a key for the apartment last night.”
“Me, too. It was too early to be ringing doorbells. I thought you both might still be sleeping so I just let myself in.” He watched her lower the baby food to the table, and he pulled out a chair, then motioned for her to sit.
“What?”
“Sit here so you can feed the little devil. He’s hungry. He’s been sucking on my knuckle for the last few minutes.”
Emma checked to see for herself and sure enough, the baby had Joel’s knuckle in his mouth… gumming it like she’d seen him do to his favorite teething ring. “He’s teething.”
“Yep. Our boy here is hurting; it’s probably what woke him up in such a foul mood.”
“Mickie told me about that. When the tooth is breaking through, he’s particularly ornery.”
“See. It has nothing to do with you. He’s hurting is all. Now sit here and feed your boy.”
Joel waited until she took her seat and then passed Teddy over. Timidly, she took the boy in her arms and saw the fretful look in his teary eyes. She felt Joel’s hand stroke her hair, and then he gave her a little pat. “See, he recognizes you now.”
Picking up the bottle, she fed him some before she gave him his fruit and cereal. While he ate, she soaked up the beauty of his little-boy face, his curls all over his head, and his wonderfully soft skin.
Okay, now this is what she expected. Her and her baby bonding, loving, happy. She watched his drenched eyelids flutter and then he pulled away from the bottle and flashed her an adoring smile.
That’s when her heart released the last self-protective mechanism and swooped him inside. He’d be her son forever.
Chapter Ten
Joel watched the two at the table and he saw the beauty in the moment. Emma’s smile beamed, her loving gaze at Teddy could light up the galaxy. Though he’d wanted to be there for his nephew, take the boy to live with him and adopt him, he recognized that there was a bond between these two that had formed before he’d gotten into the picture.
Sweet and Sassy Baby Love Page 25
