“You too,” he says, so I walk out the door and down the sidewalk to my car. I put my head down on the steering wheel still trying to understand what just happened.
CHAPTER 33
M y semester is over, and now I have nothing but time on my hands. I start reading Gone With The Wind. It’s about this girl who’s so beautiful. Everyone wants her, but no one can have her––not really. She’ll never let a man in. It starts when she’s just a girl and continues on this long journey through the civil war. Something tells me this book won’t have a happy ending.
I don’t want to be that girl. It’s too hard being tough all the time. I want to love and be loved. I wonder as the book unfolds why my mom bought this book for Zach.
I fly back home to Austin. I need to be with my family. Grace is due any day now, so she allows Bonnie to spend a few weeks at our house. I will take care of her. It’s exactly what I need to keep my mind off of Blake.
Dad sees me lying out by the swimming pool reading my new book. “What you reading there?” he asks as he walks up.
“Gone With the Wind.”
“Gone With the Wind…what made you pick that up?
“I don’t know,” I say. It’s really good. Have you read it?”
“Sure I’ve read it…twice. I’ve watched the move a couple times too. I’m just surprised you’re reading it.”
“Why?” I say, hoping to get some clue why my mom gave it to Zach.
“Your mom loved that movie––we both did.”
“Did she read the book?”
“I don't think so. She wasn’t much of a reader,” my dad says.
“What did she like doing?”
“Different things,” he says. “She liked painting, dancing, cooking, and taking care of the house and you kids.”
This is one of the few times he’s talked about my mom. It must be hard on him believing all this time that she was selling drugs. He deserves to know the truth, the real truth, and this is a good time to tell him what I found. “Dad…” I say and then pause.
“Yes, sweetie?”
Now I’m not sure telling him is so smart. I don’t think he’ll like all I’ve done – especially after the phone call he received. I lose all my courage and simply say, “Uhm….I love you.”
“Love you too,” he says.
He sits there for a second and asks, “That’s a pretty nice copy you bought….hardback?”
“Yeah, hardback,” I say.
He reaches out, so I hand him the book. He thumbs through all the pages, stopping from time to time to read here and there. When he gets to the inside of the back cover, he stops and gets the strangest look on his face. I’m not sure what he’s looking at, but his whole his expression changes. He reads something and begins to tear up.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
Without saying anything, he hands me back the book and walks inside the house. I open the book to the back cover and see the writing I didn’t even realize was there. It’s written in my mom’s handwriting:
My Dear Christian
Have a Merry Christmas.
I know this isn’t much but I thought you’d like it. It’s been so nice getting to know you. You have changed my life in so many ways. Now, for the first time in years, I look forward to the future.
Love,
Faith
When Grace arrives, we all go to dinner at Perry’s Steakhouse, a fancy downtown restaurant. Dad wants to celebrate the upcoming arrival of his new grandson. Everyone’s dressed up for the occasion – my dad has on a fancy suit and the girls are all wearing beautiful dresses. I drive over with Dad and Mom in his black Mercedes. It’s not new, but Dad always believes in keeping his cars for a long time. He’d always say, “A car is the worst investment in the world. It’s silly to trade one in every three years.” I sit in the back seat and notice the soft, tan interior.
We’ve eaten at this restaurant several times before – always for a special occasion. I’m sitting with Bonnie on my left and Grace on my right. Mom and Dad are sitting across from me. I’m playing with Bonnie when I glance over at Dad reading the wine menu. The waiter comes up, and Dad points to the special bottle he wants to order. It causes the arm of his suit jacket to rise up just enough that I can barely see the bright, shiny, gold watch peeking out from the tip of his blue suit jacket. For the next two hours, I look over at my dad from time to time, but I never see his watch again.
I have a terrible time trying to sleep. I can’t get that watch out of my head. I end up tossing and turning, so I read for over an hour before I finally fall asleep.
I wake up late the next day and walk downstairs to an empty house. I look out the back window and see my dad outside in the very back, helping Bonnie ride her pony. She’s never allowed to ride alone even though her pony never bucks or acts up. Dad holds the rope and leads the pony around the yard.
Over to my right, I see my mom working in her garden. She has on a big hat to block the sun. She’s picking fruits and vegetables, and clearing the new weeds. It reminds me of my time back in rehab.
If I want to find answers, this may be my only chance. I hurry across the house and into their master bedroom. They have a giant walk-in closet where my mom’s clothes and shoes are on the right and my dad’s are on the left. In the middle of both clothes, there’s a row of drawers and shelves going all the way up to the ceiling. I open the first drawer and find my dad’s money clips, cufflinks, and a line of watches – each sitting side-by-side and face up. There are two Tag Heuer watches, a Raymond Weil watch, a Cartier, and two Rolex. The first Rolex is silver with a blue dial. It’s not even close to the one in the picture.
The next Rolex is gold, but not real shiny. I hold it in my hand and clearly see there’s not a diamond on it anywhere. I turn the watch over and read the inscription on the back:
“To My Husband & Soul Mate”
“I’ll Love You Forever - Faith”
I never knew my mom gave my dad a Rolex watch. I never knew anything about my real parents and their life together. Obviously, they were in love once. My Soul Mate! Love you Forever! How can two people be so in love at one time, and fall so out of love with each other that they can’t stand to be in the same home together? Why can’t they talk things out? How do things go so wrong? These are questions I’ve never even considered before now.
Maybe it was like Blake and I. Maybe someone said “I’m not happy,” and the other said, “Maybe we should break up.” Next thing you’re packing your stuff in a suitcase wondering, What the hell am I doing?
I return the watches to the top drawer just as I found them. Inside the second drawer, I find a large bank deposit bag with a zipper along the top. The front reads, “Bank of Austin” and “Law Office of Ryan Brunick.” Inside the bank bag is cash––and a lot of it. There are stacks and stacks of hundred dollar bills. Each stack is wrapped in a paper band identified as $5,000.00. There must be twenty in here. It’s more money than most people ever see in their lifetime, and it’s sitting in this drawer like it’s nothing.
There’s also a bunch of legal stuff. Most of the documents I don’t even understand. They have headings like “Deed,” “Monetary,” “Promissory,” and “Last Will and Testament.” I leave them right where I found them.
In the bottom drawer, there’s a large stack of cards and letters tied together by a blue ribbon. Most of the envelopes say, “To My Dear Husband,” “My Loving Wife,” or “To My Love.” I thumb through so many birthday cards, Christmas cards, Valentines Day cards, and Anniversary cards. Again and again my mom and dad swear their undying love to each other. Now this is love. This is the dad I know. He’s a romantic at heart. He loves everyone––and he especially loves his family.
I smile as I put everything back. I make sure no one will ever know I was here. I’m so relieved. I feel bad for snooping, but mostly I feel bad for not believing in my dad. I stand up, turn around, and hurry out of the big closet before my dad comes inside. Just as I reach for
the light switch, I look up, and a glass case on the top shelf catches my attention. I stand on my tiptoes to get a closer look.
Inside the glass, there’s a gold watch rocking back and forth in perfect rhythm. I take the case down, stop the watch from moving, and hold it in my hand. It’s the most beautiful, gold Rolex watch and it shines like it just left the jewelry store. I gently rub my thumb over the face, and stare at the four beautiful, sparkling diamonds located on the twelve…. the three….the six….and the nine.
I close my eyes and look down. How can this be? This is the watch in the photograph. It’s so shiny, and so beautiful, that it can’t be mistaken. I collapse on the floor as everything… everything… everything, runs through my mind.
I think about all the photographs of my mom each stamped on the back by that slime who threw me out of his office. I remember my conversation with Lois about the criminal charges, the watch, the book, and the Mercedes. She laid everything out, except for one missing piece. Now I’m holding that missing piece in my hand. It makes sense - for the first time in my life, it all makes sense.
My hands begin to tremble, and my lips quiver. I shake my head in disbelief. My stomach cramps so bad that I almost double over in pain. I cover my face, start shaking my head in protest, and whisper, “No, no, no.” Finally, I look up and scream, “Oh my God!”
My dad hears my voice, walks in the closet, and sees me sitting on the floor. “Hope, what are you doing in here?” he asks.
When I turn around, he sees me looking down at his gold Rolex watch in my hand. “It was you,” I say with tears still running down my cheeks.
He starts forward, and asks, “What’s the matter sweetie?”
“It was you all along,” I say louder.
“Me what?” he asks.
“It was you!” I yell as my tears are replaced with rage. “You put Mom in that prison.” He walks up and puts his hands on my arms as gently as he’d hold Bonnie. The second I feel his hands on me, I break away and scream, “Don’t touch me.”
I stand to my feet, push him aside, and run out of the closet with his Rolex watch still in my hand. “Faith stop!” he yells more as a plea than a command. “Please stop.”
I can’t believe what I just heard. I turn around and shout, “I’m Hope! You killed Faith.”
“Hope….yes…., Hope,” he says walking to me. “Please stop. You’re just upset.”
“Why didn’t I see it?”
“See what?” he asks. “There’s nothing to see.”
“Everything!” I scream. “The watch, your car, the criminal charges, the stupid investigator, the photos, you going to Thailand for the trial. You were always there….always involved.”
“Involved with what?” he asks.
“With Mom!” I yell. “Her case, her trial, after the trial….everything.”
“I was trying to help your mom. I was only trying to help her.”
I put my hands over both my ears, fall to my knees, and explode. “Enough….just stop lying!”
Right then, Kate walks in from the garden. She hears my screams all the way from the other side of the house. She’s never heard any of us kids talk to our dad this way. She walks into the bedroom and sees me on my knees bawling with the Rolex watch in my hand, and Dad standing in front of me. “What’s going on?” she asks, standing in the doorway.
“It’s nothing, honey,” Dad says trying to calm everything down. “Hope and I are just talking. Please give us a few minutes alone.”
Mom starts to turn around and walk out, but I shout, “No, you need to stay! You need to hear this.”
Kate turns back around and asks, “Hear what?”
Dad walks around me and right up to Mom who’s trying to understand it all. “Please Kate, we need a moment alone,” he begs. He leads her out of the room and starts to close the door.
“He did it,” I yell as loud as possible.
“Did what?” Mom asks looking right at me, at Dad, and then back at me again. She’s still standing in the doorway so Dad continues to close the door, but Mom has heard too much to simply walk away. She holds the door open and asks, “Ryan, what is she talking about?”
“It’s nothing,” he says.
“He put my mom in that prison,” I scream even louder. “He killed my mom!”
Ryan Brunick
“Yeah, it never fails to amaze me how a single lie can undo an entire lifetime of good.”
–– Sherrilyn Kenyon
“The Lord shall judge his people. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”
–– Hebrews 10:31
– CHAPTER 34 –
T he day has finally come. Just when Ryan thought everything was taken care of, he’s standing in the middle of an inferno. This is a tangle so big it can’t be cut out.
Kate puts both her hands over her mouth and looks at Ryan in absolute shock. “God no,” she says. “Please Ryan, please tell me it’s not true.”
Never in his life has Ryan been at a loss for words. He spent the last thirty years getting everyone else out of trouble and now, when he needs it the most, he can’t think of anything to say, or do, to fix or even explain this mess. He looks at her and says, “Kate, please.”
Hope, however, still has plenty to say. She stands to her feet and cries, “All these years….all these years you led us to believe our mom left us.”
Now Hope and Kate are standing side-by-side like it’s two against one. Ryan looks at both of them and says, “She went there on her own. No one forced her to go.”
Hope lunges for her father’s face and shouts, “How could you? How could you?”
Ryan grabs her arms to protect himself. He begs her to stop. She’s swinging in every direction, so he holds her from behind stopping her from flailing or even moving. “Don’t do this Hope. Please don’t do this.” She continues to thrash while Ryan does the best he can to keep her at subdued.
Hope finally tires herself out and collapses in his arms from all the struggle. When Ryan feels her relax, he releases his hold and tries to comfort her. She doesn’t seem to resist so he says, “I love you,” again and again.
As if she just regained all her strength, Hope pulls away and looks at her dad like she was just in the arms of a stranger – no a monster. “Don’t you dare say you love me,” she screams. “You killed my mother. I hate you. Do you understand? I hate you.” She walks out the door crying.
When Hope is gone, Ryan is left sitting on the edge of the bed with his head buried in his hands. Kate’s never seen Ryan like this before. Their whole marriage he’s the one who always remains so strong and so calm. Even in the worst of times, he’s always been her rock.
Kate, still standing at the doorway, walks over to Ryan who’s bent over shaking his head as if to say, “What have I done?” She sits down beside him on the bed and puts her hand on his back. She closes her eyes and prays to herself, Lord please make this some big misunderstanding. Hope must have it all wrong. The man she knows is good, and kind, and loving. He’d never do such a thing. God, please make it not be true.
After a moment she looks up and asks, “Ryan?”
He’s had ten years to prepare for this day. Somehow he hoped, even prayed, that it’d never come. Maybe some miracle would come along and make it all go away. If he just prayed more, or tithed more, or did more, God would finally forgive him and leave him in peace.
He could hope all he wanted, but he knew better. He knew God would never forgive him. Now that his life is falling apart, he has no idea what to say or do.
Kate waits for Ryan to say something that will make everything okay. Finally, looking down because she’s afraid to hear the answer, she asks, “So, is it true?”
Ryan doesn’t say a word.
“Ryan….is it true?” she asks again in the same calm voice.
Ryan looks up with the most defeated look she’s ever seen and says, “Kate, that was so long ago. Things were different then.”
Kate
stands up, takes her hand and brushes her beautiful blonde hair back out of her face, and says, “What are you talking about? You….you….you put Faith...” This is so impossible to grasp that she can’t get out the words. “You planted drugs on her?”
“It wasn’t supposed to go like this,” Ryan says. “I only wanted her to be in prison for a year or two – just long enough for me to get the kids back.”
“God no,” she says looking away. Ryan reaches for her hand, but she takes a step back. “So, you only wanted her to get a year or two….what did she get?”
Ryan just sits there without answering. He wants to walk out the door before this conversation goes any further, but Kate asks again. “Ryan, what did she get?”
Ryan knows the answer may very well be the end of their marriage. He also knows that Kate won’t let it go. Finally he says, “The judge gave her fifty years.”
“Fifty years!” Kate shouts. “Fifty years…oh my God!”
“I know,” Ryan says grabbing her hands and trying to keep her calm.
“So what happened Ryan? Why does Hope keep saying you killed her mom?”
“I didn’t mean it,” Ryan mumbles.
“What happened,” Kate repeats. She’s standing her ground and demanding answers.
Barely louder than a whisper, Ryan says, “She wasn’t in there three years. She didn't’ make it out.”
“She died Ryan? She died? Oh my God, you killed her!”
“Please Kate, please don’t say that.”
“YOU KILLED HER!” she screams.
Still sitting on the side of the bed, Ryan falls to the floor, leans forward, and wraps his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry, Kate. I wasn’t thinking straight. She drove me to the poin...to the point…baby please, you have to understand.”
“Understand what?” she asks.
The Beginning of Hope: The Highly Anticipated, Mind-Blowing Sequel to the Killing of Faith (The Killing of Faith Series Book 2) Page 19
