The Bull Rider's Fresh Start

by Heidi McCahan

  Wade had told her plenty of stories. How Landon ruined his bull riding career with his addiction to pills. He was an addict, and addicts rarely changed. Her own father’s fatal overdose had taught her that. That’s why she had to get Adeline away from Landon.

  He wasn’t single-dad material. He was wild and out of control. More like a shameless party animal who belonged with the bulls he rode.

  Red lights on the back of a giant tractor-trailer suddenly appeared in front of her, and Kelsey stomped on the brakes. See? Even thinking about Landon got her into trouble. The truck crept along the interstate, and Kelsey drew a few deep breaths to ease her frazzled nerves.

  Her phone directed her to take the next exit for Merritt’s Crossing. The truck in front of her led the way, its signal a blinking red beacon in the rain-soaked afternoon as they eased off the interstate. At the top of the ramp, the truck turned left toward a motel, fast food restaurants, a gas station and a convenience store.

  Kelsey hesitated. Maybe she should rent a motel room. Then she’d have someplace to bring Adeline once she picked her up from Landon’s house. No. Every minute her baby spent with him was one minute too many. She’d navigated sleep deprivation many times in her military career and was trained to withstand physical exhaustion. She could do this.

  Instead of following the truck, she obeyed the directions and turned right. As she left the lights from the gas station in her rearview mirror and traveled between wheat fields on a two-lane dirt road, her palms turned clammy.

  Oh, what a mess. If Landon had figured out Adeline was his, she’d have to explain why she’d never told him. And if he didn’t know, well, she was supposed to confess the truth. Right? But what if he tried to keep Adeline? Dread dived straight through her.

  She wouldn’t let that happen.

  Releasing a frustrated groan, she leaned forward, struggling to navigate the narrow road in the driving rain. If only Maggie and Wade were still alive. Then she wouldn’t be trapped in this impossible situation. Her daughter would have a safe, stable home.

  Maggie and Wade were good people. Why did this have to happen?

  She turned onto yet another narrow, unpaved road flanked by wheat and corn fields. Lightning flashed in front of her, and she rubbed at the tension knotting the muscles in her shoulders. Only a few more minutes. Then she’d be able to hold her baby girl again. Tears pricked at her eyelids. She’d been away for far too long.

  The bossy voice on her phone told her to turn right. She complied, but not before her mirror clipped the mailbox.

  Oh no. She winced and tried to assess the damage, which was next to impossible given the storm. Didn’t anyone around here believe in extra lighting to illuminate their driveways? She might’ve grown up in Oklahoma, but she and farms never did get along. Ranch life wasn’t her thing, either. That’s why she loved serving as a diver in the navy. All her needs were met, and she had the opportunity to see the world. As soon as she finished her commitment, she’d further her education and get a great job as a nurse. The kind of job that would provide the childhood for Adeline that she’d never had.

  The driveway ended in front of a two-story white farmhouse with black shutters. An adorable swing hung at the far end of the wraparound porch. Was this it? Her pulse sped as she parked and turned off the ignition. Grabbing her purse, she hopped out of the car and promptly stepped in a mud puddle.

  Great. Slinging her purse strap over her shoulder, she jogged across the yard, her flip-flops slapping against her heels. She hesitated at the bottom of the porch’s wide steps, her mouth as dry as cotton. What if this was a horrible mistake?

  Thoughts of seeing Adeline propelled her up the steps, and she knocked on the door. It swung open, revealing Landon looking more handsome than she remembered in a crisp white button-down and dark denim jeans.

  “I hope you brought more di...” Landon’s deep voice trailed off as recognition flashed in his hazel eyes. Thunder rumbled overhead. “Kelsey? What are you doing here?”

  * * *

  “I’m here for Adeline.”

  He studied her russet-brown hair piled in a messy bun and those full pink lips flattened in a thin line. Daring him to challenge her. The weight of her amber gaze leveled him. She wasn’t kidding. When he’d hoped for a rescuer, the woman he’d spent one night with eighteen months ago and never called again hadn’t been the first person he’d anticipated.

  “Where is she?” In the doorway of his farmhouse, Kelsey pushed up on her toes and craned her neck, obviously scanning the room behind him. Creases formed in her smooth brow like a tiny number eleven, broadcasting her concern.

  He let his gaze quickly travel from her pale blue T-shirt to her dark jeans, stylishly cuffed above her ankles, and brown flip-flops. No nail polish on her tanned toes. She twined her fingers around the strap of her brown leather purse. That furrow between her brows said she wasn’t thrilled to see him. He couldn’t blame her. Yet all these months later, her stunning beauty captivated him.

  “Adeline’s asleep.” Finally. He clutched the edge of the thick old door. He owed his friend Gage a cheeseburger and a milkshake for sharing his secret sauce for getting a baby to stop crying.

  Kelsey glared at the fancy watch on her slender wrist. Evidently, this news impacted her itinerary. He rubbed his fingers along his jaw, trying to piece together exactly how she’d arrived on his doorstep. Did she think she could drop by unannounced and make ridiculous demands? The intensity in her expression hinted at something more. He owed her an explanation. An apology. At the very least some decent manners. She’d just lost two people she loved also.

  Landon stepped back and pulled the door open. “This weather is nasty. Would you like to come in for a few minutes?”

  She paused on the threshold as though this was truly a life-changing decision. Then she tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and nodded.

  He held his breath as she moved into the foyer of his grandparents’ home. A subtle fragrance drifted into the narrow space. Lavender. Must be her soap or shampoo. It rocketed him back in time to Wade and Maggie’s wedding and the night they’d spent together.

  Landon cleared his throat. “Kelsey, I—”

  “Don’t.” Her purse slid to the floor and hit the hardwood with a thunk, like an exclamation point on the end of her command.

  He closed the door and faced her.

  “I’m not here to talk about...the past.” She tipped her chin up, a muscle in her square jaw knotting as she drilled him with her coffee-colored gaze. “I’m here to collect Adeline and her things, and then I’ll be on my way.”

  Wait. What? Confusion washed through him. He linked his arms across his chest. “What do you mean, you’re here to collect Adeline?”

  “She’s coming with me.” She propped her hands on her hips. He tried not to let his eyes wander to the shapely curve of her biceps, or her smooth skin burnished to a tawny brown, hinting at the hours she spent in the sun. Pink clung to her cheekbones, and the ancient light fixture overhead highlighted the red tones in her hair.

  Her intensity unnerved him. He wouldn’t let her see him sweat, though. “Your mom mentioned you travel for work. I’m sure it’s tough keeping up with everything going on back home.” He intentionally softened his tone and infused his voice with empathy. “I’m real sorry to hear about Wade and Maggie’s accident. And no one was more surprised than me when your mom asked me to take care of Adeline. But I’m a man of my word and—”

  Sharp laughter sprung from her lips, interrupting him. “You’re a man of your word? Well, that’s an interesting turn of events, isn’t it? Seeing as how you spent the night with me then told me I was better off without you. Don’t worry. I didn’t lose any sleep waiting for your call.”

  If sparks could fly from her eyes right now, he’d be pulverized into ashes.

  “Not calling you is one of the biggest regrets of my
life. I am so sorry.”

  She stared at him. Her mouth opened then closed. Had his apology taken the fight out of her? Doubtful. But maybe his kind words had bought him thirty seconds to think. “Are you still in the navy?”

  “Yes.” She surveyed her surroundings—probably mentally forming a list of reasons why a baby couldn’t stay here.

  “And you’re a diver?” He pretended not to know the answers to these questions even though Kelsey’s mother had kept up a running commentary the whole time he’d visited. She’d explained the memorial service for Wade and Maggie was on hold until Kelsey’s leave was approved and she could come home from Hawaii.

  Kelsey nodded, her eyes still scanning the room.

  “Do you live on base in military housing when you aren’t traveling the world on assignments?”

  She huffed out a sigh. “I live on base. Pearl Harbor, Honolulu, Hawaii. For a guy who never wanted to speak to me again, you sure have a lot of questions. What’s up with the inquisition?”

  Ouch. “I deserve that. Again, I’m sorry for the way I treated you. My decision not to call you was wrong.” He paused. Would now be a good time to mention he’d checked himself into inpatient rehab for the second time right after he’d met her? Probably not. She didn’t seem real interested in his explanations.

  “I’m just wondering how you plan to travel and keep diving with a nine-month-old baby.”

  “You’re something else, you know that?” She scoffed then blew him off with an impatient wave of her hand. “I’m not having this conversation with you. I don’t know why my mother thought this was a good idea. It’s not. It’s a horrible idea. You’re an addict and you have no business caring for a child.”

  Kelsey’s harsh words stung like a bull’s horn slamming into his ribs. Wounded, his hackles raised while his patience flagged. She turned away and strode into the living room.

  “Where is she?” Kelsey circled the sofa. “I don’t care if she’s asleep. I’ll wake her up, because she’s not spending one more minute in this house with you.”

  Landon stood at least seven inches taller than Kelsey, and he used his height to his advantage. He cut long strides of his own, eating up the distance between her and the laundry room where he’d tucked Adeline away in her car seat. Gage had told him to put her on top of the dryer, but he was terrified she’d somehow flip her car seat and fall off. Instead, he’d turned the dryer on and kept her on the floor, safely buckled in her car seat. She’d fallen asleep about thirty minutes ago. Maybe it wasn’t the dryer at all and just sheer exhaustion. Either way, he’d rather endure another broken collarbone than let anyone wake her.

  He stepped in front of Kelsey and braced for impact as he blocked her path.

  She gasped and pressed her palms against his chest. The hurt that flashed in her eyes knifed at him. Man, he didn’t like making her angry.

  He gently clasped her upper arms with both hands. The warmth of her skin made him painfully aware of how much he’d missed her.

  “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you.” He lowered his voice to almost a whisper. “Please don’t wake her up. I’m begging you. She’s cried most of the day. I couldn’t get her to settle down after church, and she’s been asleep for less than an hour. Why don’t you let her finish her nap? I’ll fix you something to eat while you wait.”

  Moisture glistened on the fringes of her dark eyelashes, and she looked away. Oh no. Please don’t cry. He couldn’t handle another person crying today. After what felt like an eternity, she extracted herself from his hold and backtracked toward the living room.

  “I don’t need any food,” she said, stopping in front of the wide front windows. “I’ll wait here until she’s awake.”

  With her back to him, she couldn’t see his face. Landon silently mouthed a prayer of thanks toward the sky. He rounded the end of his grandmother’s upholstered sofa and eased onto one of the brown-and-orange-flowered cushions.

  “I don’t want to make you angrier, but—”

  “Oh, go ahead.” Her icy tone dripped with sarcasm. “You’re on a roll.”

  He swallowed back a snide response. A little help here, Lord. Leaning forward, Landon rested his elbows on his knees and measured his words carefully. “Adeline is blessed to have someone like you looking out for her. But I have questions, because there’s a few pieces of this puzzle missing. I can’t let you take her until I get some answers.”

  Kelsey’s shoulders stiffened.

  Landon plowed on with his questions. “The last time Wade and I talked, he said they were temporarily caring for Adeline. So what about her biological parents? Your mom was really upset. All she’d tell me was that we’re waiting for Adeline’s biological mother to show up. Do you know anything about her? Should I have contacted social services?”

  She flinched as though he’d pelted her in the backside with a snowball. Then she turned slowly and faced him, her arms wrapped around her torso. The guilt flashing in her eyes was easy to recognize. He’d greeted a similar expression in the mirror every morning for months.

  “You don’t need to call anyone.” She barely choked out the words.

  That’s why she’s here. The thought whipped so quickly through his mind that he almost missed it. Wade and Maggie had married eighteen months ago. Math wasn’t his gift, but adding nine plus nine wasn’t difficult. And that simple calculation added up to the truth. His heart rate accelerated, pounding against his chest.

  “Kelsey.” Her name left his mouth in a growl.

  She trapped her lower lip behind her teeth.

  “Who are Adeline’s birth parents?”

  Chapter Two

  She couldn’t lie.

  She wouldn’t lie. But the thought of telling Landon the truth terrified her. What happened when he found out Adeline was hers? And his?

  Kelsey fisted her hands at her sides to stop the trembling. “Adeline is mine.”

  The storm raging in Landon’s eyes rivaled the one blowing across the fields outside.

  “And who is her father?”

  A shiver raked her spine. “You.”

  He slowly straightened then leaned back against the sofa, every movement controlled. Intentional. She tracked the path of his fingertips as they traveled across his forehead. The weight of her confession hung heavy in the musty air. Landon kept his eyes downcast. Was he praying? Doubtful. He’d never behaved like a man who trusted in God.

  Another clap of thunder rumbled overhead. Kelsey stared at him, bracing for harsh words. Say something. Anything.

  His silence made her mind race. She’d answered his question honestly. Wasn’t she supposed to feel lighter? Relieved? Whoever said the truth set you free had never confessed to concealing a baby’s paternity.

  Landon’s gaze slid to meet hers. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  The hurt and confusion marring his handsome features sent her insides into a slow, sickening roll. She drew a deep, calming breath. He’s an addict, remember? Don’t let him manipulate you.

  He pushed to his feet and paced the room, stopping in front of the wall of trophies, ribbons and photographs documenting his epic career as a world-champion bull rider.

  “If I’d told you I was pregnant, would it have made any difference?”

  Landon whirled around and strode toward her, stopping inches away. The masculine scent of his soap or aftershave teased her senses. Red splotches dotted his neck. He rubbed his broad palm against his chest. She refused to look away. Refused to let her long-buried attraction to him undermine her intentions. Refused to think about how those strong hands once held her close. Spun her around the dance floor. Stroked her hair.

  “If I’d known, I could’ve helped. I could’ve supported you and Adeline from day one. She wouldn’t have lived with Wade and Maggie.” He didn’t raise his voice, yet the raw edge in his tone hinted at his barely controlled anger.<
br />
  “Wade and Maggie are good people.” She squeezed the words past an unexpected lump clogging her throat. “They stepped up when I needed them and took on a huge responsibility.”

  “But they aren’t her parents.”

  “That doesn’t matter,” she insisted. “Adeline was safe, and she was loved.”

  Landon glared at her, his chest rising and falling. “You shouldn’t have kept the truth from me, Kelsey. I deserved to know I had a child. Worse, you asked my best friend to lie for you. Why? Why would you do that?”

  “Because you didn’t give me the option of counting on you.” Kelsey wanted to scream. “You left me a note in our hotel room that said you were no good for me. That doesn’t sound like someone who’s ready to be a father, so don’t you dare try to make me feel guilty.”

  She’d kept the note tucked away in her wallet. It was evidence of Landon’s hasty exit from her life and the proof she needed to justify her actions.

  He pushed out a long breath. “I already told you I’m sorry I never called. I should have. But holding that against me and asking Wade and Maggie to lie about who my kid belongs to isn’t right, either.”

  His hazel eyes flashed as he pointed out her dishonesty yet again. Her chest tightened like he’d pinched off her oxygen supply. She didn’t have the emotional energy to argue with him. She’d learned a long time ago that trying to reason with an addict was pointless. And she didn’t have the luxury of time. Adeline’s future—her safety—was at stake. The navy had given her sixty days to resolve her childcare issues. While she owed Landon the truth, he wasn’t the answer to her problems.

  “You’re right. Asking my family to keep the truth a secret was wrong. I’m sorry. But to be honest, I didn’t think you’d care.”