Dead Wrong

by Kristi Belcamino

  By eight that night, I’m outside his door.

  When he opens the door without a shirt and with messy hair like he was sleeping and gives me that crooked smile, all I can think about is how I felt like he was about to kiss me last night and how Danielle’s memory stopped him.

  He’s Danielle’s boyfriend, I tell myself. You are here to find out what happened to your best friend, not mack on her boyfriend.

  He tugs on a tee shirt before pulling out a chair at his small table for me. After I sit, he straddles the other chair, running a hand through his messy hair.

  “Were you taking your pre-going out nap again?” I say, arching an eyebrow.

  “Nah. I’m laying low tonight.” He gestures to his futon mattress on the floor where a copy of Ernest Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast lies open. Next to it is a pen and notepad with writing.

  “You writing something?”

  “Screenplay about the Oogle life.”

  “What’s an Oogle?”

  “Me,” he says. “Me and my friends.”

  Before I can ask anything else, he leans over and the entire room around us disappears. His mouth on mine blots out every thought, every sense I have except touch. I forget about everything and everybody.

  I never knew kissing a boy would be so amazing. His arms wrap around me and my entire body is filled with warmness and tingling and I don’t want it to ever stop.

  But then he pulls back, tugs at a strand of my hair and looks at me softly. His eyes roam over my face until I feel my cheeks get hot. Does he like what he sees?

  “You’re beautiful.”

  “Thanks.” I squeak it out and look down blushing.

  “You know what makes you so beautiful?”

  I close my eyes. Do we really have to have this conversation? He continues without waiting for my answer.

  “You’re so unaffected.”

  Unaffected? What does that mean exactly? I mean I know what it means but why is a teenage guy using that word? I squirm. He’s not only better looking than me. He’s smarter, too.

  He lights a cigarette, inhales, and exhales and then squints his eyes at me. The mood has changed. I feel stupid.

  He bites his lip. “Sorry. That was uncalled for. Like I said last night, I’m just not ready.”

  “Don’t apologize.” My voice is soft. I remind myself why I am there. Why I wanted to meet Raven in the first place. To find out about Danielle’s death. Her body is cold in the ground and I am here warm and aware of every single bit of my body and his. Guilt floods me. I steel myself to forget about how Raven makes me feel. I have a mission. I smile at him even though my entire body is trembling.

  “Want to talk about it? I’m a good listener.”

  “I can’t.”

  That’s why you’re here, I remind myself, to get him to talk about Danielle. I take a deep breath. “Did you love her?”

  He looks down. “I’m sorry. I think I need to be alone.”

  I stand but don’t leave. “There’s something I need to tell you,” I begin and then am paralyzed by fear. He’s going to be pissed. He waits expectantly with a small smile on his face. As soon as I speak, he’ll hate me. I’ll never see that smile again.

  “Danielle used to be my best friend.” I blurt it out.

  The look on his face slays me. Pure horror.

  “Who are you?” He jumps up as he says it as if he is afraid of me.

  “I saw you with her the week before she died. Then when I saw you in Uptown I followed you to Retro Star. I didn’t know you were going to talk to me. I didn’t mean anything. I just want to find out what happened to Danielle.” I blurt it out. He’s holding the door open.

  “You need to leave.” His words are dull.

  I bite back tears. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t think Danielle drowned. I was just trying to find out what happened to her. I promise you. I should have told you right away. I’m sorry.”

  He doesn’t answer just firmly shuts the door between us. I feel the whoosh of air as it closes.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  It’s nearly dark and I’m still working in the office when Curtis comes in.

  “Your boy is here to see you.”

  “Huh?” I look up from the stack of papers I’m organizing.

  “That gutter punk. He’s waiting outside.”

  It’s been a week since I told Raven I was friends with Danielle. I spent the week working overtime and picking up extra shifts. Anything to keep my mind off Danielle and him. I want to prove she didn’t drowned, but right now, I don’t want to think about it anymore. When I got home from work this week, I buried myself in books until I fell asleep with my lights on. I’ve read five books this week.

  Curtis is waiting for me to say something. I sigh and gather my things.

  “That dude is bad news. All of those guys are. There’s a reason they’re homeless, you know. Cause they’re fucked up. They’re into drugs and vigilante law. You’d be better off staying far away from all of them. Don’t be fooled by a pretty face, Emily.”

  I blink. I’m tired and crabby. “Are you done?” My voice is cold and Curtis tilts his head at me.

  “Whatever. It’s your life.”

  He storms out.

  I walk out the gate and see Raven standing there, leaning against a street light pole with his skateboard propped up against the low stonewall.

  “Can we talk?” He’s not smiling.

  I nod and sit on the small stonewall bordering the raised flowerbed. My stomach is doing flip-flops.

  “I thought about what you said,” he begins and then bites his inner cheek. “I don’t know why you didn’t tell me right away who you were, but I think you’re right. I don’t think Danielle drowned.”

  I let my breath out in relief.

  “Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away.” I look at my sneakers. “I didn’t know you so I didn’t want to tell you who I was until I was sure you didn’t have anything to do with her death.”

  His forehead crinkles. “What? You thought what?”

  “I said I didn’t know you yet.” The steel in my voice surprises me.

  He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Okay. Fair enough.”

  “And I wanted to tell you, but then ...”

  “Yeah. It got weird fast.”

  I nod. But I think ‘weird?’ Is that what he calls what I felt between us?

  “Let’s go grab a bite to eat,” he says, gesturing to the Dairy Queen across the street.

  He picks up his skateboard and carries it as we walk over.

  Inside, I nibble at my Dilly Bar while he inhales a Peanut Buster Parfait and tells me what he remembers about the night Danielle died.

  “We were hanging out on the beach, partying, like we do, just listening to music and drinking. Danielle was pissed at her mom for something. I think it was because her mom wasn’t letting her go on this overnight camping trip to this festival in Wisconsin. She was talking about going anyway, but I was trying to tell her it was okay if she didn’t come. I didn’t want her to get in trouble. So anyway, she was drinking a lot. She tripped and fell once and I told her to slow down but she just laughed at me and told me to fuck off, that I didn’t know anything about her life and her world.”

  I can picture Danielle doing this. I’d only seen this side of her once or twice when she was really mad at her parents. They were fighting over her. Her mother was saying it was okay for Danielle to get her belly button pierced and her dad was arguing that twelve was way too young for something like that. I tried to stick up for her dad, saying he was just being protective of her, but when I did, she turned her fury on me.

  “Mind your own business. If you want to stick up for anyone, stick up for your mom married to that asshole of a father you have.”

  I slammed out of her house, tears blinding me as I ran the two blocks home. The next day she came over and gave me an Abercrombie tee shirt I’d admired and apologized saying she couldn’t help her mea
n streak.

  “She can be vicious if she wants,” I said, and realize I referred to her in the present tense still.

  “I’d never seen her like that,” Raven said. “Later she came to me all crying and apologized. We both fell asleep on the blanket listening to music, but then when I woke up later, it was quiet and I was alone. Everyone was gone.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It was about two. It looked like the others had packed up their stuff and left, which was fine. It was cold so I don’t blame them for finding a squat for the night, but I was surprised that nobody woke me and that Danielle was gone.”

  “You don’t remember anything after you fell asleep?”

  “No, it was really weird. I’m usually a pretty light sleeper. I mean if you are riding the rails, you have to be, you have to watch out for the train guards. They’ll throw your ass in jail if they catch you onboard.” He scrunches his face. “Come to think of it. I felt sort of dopey when I woke up and it was really hard for me to stay awake. I noticed everyone was gone and instead of going to find them, I was so tired I fell back asleep.”

  I frown. “Is this what you told the police?”

  “Yeah. Why?”

  Does he realize how suspicious his story sounds?

  “That’s a pretty shitty alibi. You’re lucky they ruled it accidental death or you’d be a suspect. ‘I fell asleep and when I woke in the middle of the night everyone was gone including my girlfriend and I just went back to sleep.’”

  His eyes narrow for a second and then he nods. “You’re right. When you put it that way, it sounds pretty lame.”

  “What did everyone else say?”

  “Jazz and Flip and Scrap said they all packed up and went to this squat nearby, a two-room little place. When they left, Danielle was still asleep beside me.”

  I think about this for a minute.

  “When did you see them next?”

  “The four of us met up around ten for breakfast. I sort of expected Danielle to be with them so I was surprised when she wasn’t. I called her cell but it went straight to voice mail. I figured she was still mad at me from the argument we had. It wasn’t until that night that some other oogles came over and told us about the body in the lake. I still can’t believe it was her.”

  We sit in silence for a few seconds. I think about those two gutterpunks who got on the bus that day.

  “I saw you one night. At the bus transit. You were saying goodbye to a guy and a girl. Were they there that night, too?”

  “Huh?” His face scrunches. “Oh, James and Kat. No, they weren’t at the beach that night. Why?”

  Just then my phone buzzes. It’s a text from my mom, wondering why I’m not home yet.

  “I gotta go,” I say, grabbing my bag and standing.

  “Wait,” Raven lightly grabs my wrists. “Do you really think someone ... did that to Danielle?”

  “I don’t know,” I say honestly. “I do know one thing. She was a great swimmer.”

  “If someone did that to her, we have to find them.” His eyes turn cold.

  I nod and walk away. I can see him out of the corner of my eye watching.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  The next morning I’m getting dressed from my shower when I hear my phone ping.

  It’s a text. From Raven. I feel my face grow warm as I read it, fingers shaking a little.

  Meet@Calhoun Beach@11? Bring suit Raven

  Lake Calhoun is the largest lake in Minneapolis and is connected to Lake of the Isles — where Danielle was found — through a small channel. It’s a popular lake and beach during the summer with both jogging and biking trails and boating.

  I was supposed to meet up with Curtis and his friends to shop for records at the Electric Fetus this morning. But there’s no question what I’m going to do. Besides, I’m irritated with Curtis for telling me Raven was bad news. Curtis claims to be so nonjudgmental, but is judging Raven without knowing him at all.

  Even so, thinking of Curtis, a flicker of guilt runs through me as I type.

  C U there. E.

  I glance at the clock. I better hustle. On my knees, I dig through my drawers, tossing all my swimsuits on the floor, wishing I had one like Danielle’s slinky black bikini. I dig around in my bag for the photo of us in swimsuits in front of her house, but I can’t find it. I dump my bag out and sort through everything. Shit. What if I lost it on the bus when everything from my purse fell on the ground?

  My phone pings again. It’s Curtis asking me what time I’ll be at Electric Fetus. I ignore it. I’ve got to hustle if I’m going to meet Raven on time.

  Sitting back, I eye my choices. Flowered one piece from two summers ago. No way! I throw it in the general direction of my tiny trashcan by my desk.

  Turquoise two-piece? Maybe.

  Orange and pink striped tankini with giant grandma-panty type bottoms? Gag.

  When I’m done, I’m left with two options, the turquoise two-piece and a faded gray two-piece.

  I try them both on. The faded gray one gets tossed in the trash. The butt is baggy on me. The turquoise one from last summer is a little snug. The triangle pieces of the top were much less revealing last summer. My flesh sort of squeezes out toward the middle of my chest. Cleavage. I have cleavage. For the first time ever.

  I remind myself that boobs aren’t fat. Boobs are good. Boys like boobs.

  Raven is a boy. He’ll like boobs. As soon as I think this, I feel guilty. We are getting together to find out whether Danielle was killed or not. That’s all it is. But I can’t forget the feel of his lips on mine.

  I pull on a baggy hoodie and some cut off jean shorts and squish my bare feet into my Converse. I tug my hair back into a messy ponytail even though my hand is reaching for a brush. I’ve never walked out of the house with hair like this but if I don’t catch the next bus I won’t make it to the beach by eleven.

  I throw a towel into my bag and race for the door.

  AT CALHOUN BEACH, I start berating myself. I race walked all the way from the bus stop and now that I’m at the beach, I only see a mom laying on a blanket with her two life-jacketed kids squealing and splashing in the roped off swim area.

  My phone keeps pinging with texts. But they are all from Curtis, asking where I am and why I’m flaking on meeting him at Electric Fetus. I ignore the texts, which are starting to annoy me. Where is Raven?

  I crane my head looking around. Then I realize. Maybe it was the other beach at Calhoun Lake. There is one across the way, over by the sailboats. I glance at my watch. 11:10. Raven is probably over there. He probably thinks I’m not coming. It will take me about ten minutes to walk over there and he’ll probably have left by then, thinking I’m a flake. He probably ...

  I feel a hand on my shoulder. Relief floods me.

  “Hey,” Raven’s smile spreads across his face. “Sorry, I’m late. I blame it on these dingbat lovebirds.” He juts his chin over his shoulder and I see Flip and Jazz straggling behind. Flip’s giving Jazz a piggyback ride and she’s whooping, holding on to him like she’s riding a bucking bronco. No sign of Scrap and his dumb dog.

  “Oh, are you late? I just got here.” I say it nonchalantly, like I wasn’t frantically hoping to see his face, acting like my very life depended on it.

  I see a flicker of something cross his face. But then it disappears. He grabs my face and kisses me for so long that I hear Flip and Jazz hooting and hollering.

  “Hey, this is a family beach, bozos!” Flip says.

  Raven pulls away and laughs, grabbing me by the hand and leading me to the beach. “Look who’s talking,” Raven says, nodding at Flip who has his hands wrapped around Jazz’s chest.

  I realize we are two couples on the beach, hanging out. Does that make this a double date? For some reason the idea makes me giddy.

  Raven kicks off his big black boots by the towels we have spread out on the beach and then does something that makes me catch my breath. He tugs off his black tee shirt and I instant
ly feel the flush rise up from my neck to my cheeks when I see his smooth, tanned, firm chest and then the slope of his hipbones leading down under his shorts ...

  He catches me staring and winks at me, which only makes my cheeks grow warmer. I bite my lip watching him. He knows exactly what I’m thinking. He grabs me and draws me in, so my body is pressed against his, my head right under his chin. His bare flesh is hard and warm. I pull back, flustered.

  “You gonna get in the water?” He eyes my hoodie meaningfully and I’m suddenly as shy as if I’ve just met him.

  “Maybe in a sec.” I flop on the towel and make a big show of untying my sneakers, even though I usually just kick them off. Flip is standing at his side with a Frisbee. He gives me a look I can’t quite read. It makes me uncomfortable, but the feeling quickly disappears when his normal grin spreads across his face.

  “Ready?” he asks Raven who nods.

  “See you on the Flip side. Get it?”

  “Hardy har har.” I can’t help but smile.

  Raven heads for the water with Flip, going outside the ropes marking the swim area and horsing around dipping under the waves and splashing one another. For a split second, I remember: Danielle drowned one lake away from here. What if they were horsing around like this and something happened, she hit her head or something. Don’t they think of her when they are playing in the lake like this?

  I think about the look I thought I saw on Flip’s face. I wonder if he and Danielle were friends and he doesn’t like Raven seeing a new girl so soon? If that’s what that look was about, it makes me like Flip even more. For some reason, I want Raven’s friends to like me. But I also wonder how he can be over Danielle so quickly. Is that normal? I know they only dated for a month or two at the most, but still. It’s not like they just broke up. She died. You’d think he’d have some feelings about that.

  Off to my other side, Jazz pulls off her shorts and tank. Underneath she has a tiny faded red bikini with white polka dots. Unselfconsciously, she plops onto her back, propped on her elbows as she squints at the water, watching the guys. Her skin is a golden bronze color.