Next to Never

by Penelope Douglas

  “Maddie?” I argued, seeing her open the door. “I want him—”

  “It’ll just stress me out,” she fought. “Making me come all the way back here when you need help . . .” And then she kissed the air between us. “Love you. Bye.”

  And she pulled the door closed.

  For a few minutes I stood there, trying to figure out why she thought I couldn’t take care of my son. Why she seemed in such a hurry to leave.

  It was me, no doubt. I’d cut her off for so long and put him in her care so much, she didn’t know how to let me help her with him.

  Or maybe she didn’t want to be around me any more than I wanted to be with her.

  My phone rang in my briefcase, and I opened it up to retrieve it. Hitting the green Call button, I brought it my ear.

  “Yes?”

  “This is Rhodes BMW, sir.”

  “Yes?”

  “Sir, the car you wanted delivered today was sent back.”

  Sent back? What?

  I tore the phone away from my ear and ended the call. Sent back?

  Digging under some files, I pulled my wallet out, stuck it in my breast pocket, and headed for the door.

  I’d purchased a car for Kat, not expecting anything, and I could understand her being compelled to not accept such a large gift, but hell . . . She could’ve been attacked the other night. She was nearly attacked, actually. You would think a young woman with a child to worry about would choose sense over pride and take a vehicle that would improve the chances of keeping her and her kid safe.

  It wasn’t like it was a new car, either. If she thought the gift meant I was intending to keep her as a mistress, I’d damn well put her in a brand new Bimmer, or better yet, let her pick the car and color herself.

  Climbing into my car, I shifted it into gear and sped off. The daylight spilled through the trees, and I was grateful it was finally warm. I worried about Kat. I hated where she lived, I hated the environment her son was faced with every day, and even though he was too young to notice now, he eventually would. Coming home at night, I wondered about her and him. Were they warm? Were they safe? Was he properly fed?

  I wanted her to have everything and to not worry about anything.

  Passing through the denser neighborhoods, I drove by the high school, when it occurring to me that Kat probably graduated from there only last year. We were only seven years apart in age, but worlds apart in education and experience.

  It should’ve unnerved me. But instead, it excited me. I liked how she was different from other women I’d known.

  Young, impulsive, angry . . . and completely unrefined. She felt so forbidden to me, and I wanted her.

  I also liked how she seemed to need me, just a little.

  Finally giving in and pulling in front of her house, I turned off the car, hesitating a moment. I wasn’t sure if that son of a bitch was home, but I was completely prepared to do what I had to do.

  Leaving my car, I made sure to lock it, and I walked up to her house, passing through the creaking gate of the chain-link fence and up the steps.

  “Hello?” I called, knocking on the wooden screen door.

  “Yes?” someone called out, and I spotted a shadow approaching through the screen.

  The door whined as she pushed it open, and I saw a woman, not much older than Kat, with short blond hair and a baby bottle in her hand.

  “Is Kat here?” I asked.

  Her eyes fell down my form, looking hesitant, and I immediately got the impression that people in suits in this neighborhood meant bad news.

  “I’m a friend,” I explained.

  Her eyes narrowed. “Oh, are you Mr. Slater? She babysits for you and your wife, right?”

  She babysits, too? In addition to working at the garage?

  “Sure.” I answered, not sure who this woman was and deciding to protect Kat. “That’s me.”

  This woman could be a friend of her husband’s. No use telling the truth, just in case he decided to take it out on her. Not that I’d gotten any information saying he’d been abusive with her, but I had my suspicions. He was the type.

  She jerked her head. “Yeah, she’s in the backyard. I’ll walk you.”

  She stepped out the front door, and I backed away to let her through as she jogged down the porch steps and around to the side of the house. I quickly followed, but as soon as we neared the rear of the home, I started to slow.

  Kat lay on her stomach on the grass, perched up on her elbows, as a small child with her brown hair squealed while catching water from their sprinkler in his little green cup.

  She wore a short white sundress with blue flowers and thin straps over her shoulders that carried to her back, and all I could do was gaze down her beautiful, smooth skin.

  The dress was completely plastered to her body. Oh, my God.

  The sprinkler, which I assumed to be homemade since it was just a two-liter bottle taped to a hose with water shooting out of the two dozen or so holes, was hitting her as she lay on the grass, drenching her back, arms, legs, and dress.

  I could see the olive tones of her skin through the wet material.

  “Kat?” her friend—or maybe it was her sister—called.

  Kat turned her head toward us and locked eyes with me, her smile falling.

  I cleared my throat and slid my hand into my pocket. “Did you forget?” I asked, acting casual. “You’re babysitting tonight. Remember?”

  Her eyebrows nose-dived and she started to rise. “Huh?”

  Her friend laughed and looked at me. “Yeah, I think she forgot.”

  “Do you have someone to watch your son?” I asked Kat and then looked to her friend, explaining, “Mine has a cold. We wouldn’t want Jared to get sick.”

  Kat sat up, and I dropped my eyes, taking in the way the fabric fell over her body. While the front of her dress wasn’t as drenched as the back, it was wet in certain areas and her chest dripped with water.

  I struggled to breathe, and heat pooled in my groin.

  Her friend finally sighed. “I can do it, I guess.”

  I smiled, my veins running hot with the prospect of being alone with her. “Thank you.”

  Her friend walked over and picked up Jared, whose name I’d learned from the investigator’s information, while Kat just sat there, looking a little lost.

  “I’m Deena, by the way,” her friend said as she passed by me, carrying Jared. “I take care of all the kids in the neighborhood.”

  I reached out to take the hand she offered. “Jase.”

  She nodded and walked past me, probably into the house to get Jared out of his wet clothes.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I heard Kat ask in an accusing tone.

  I turned my gaze back to her to see that she’d stood up. The dress stuck to her body, and her thighs glistened with water.

  “You refused the car,” I pointed out.

  She approached me with a challenge in her eyes, keeping her voice low. “You can’t buy me. I don’t know what you want—”

  “I want you to have reliable transportation for your safety,” I said, cutting her off. “You’re telling me you can’t use a vehicle when you have a child? What if he needed a trip to the ER?”

  “You want me to owe you,” she corrected. “You’re married, and I’m not a whore.”

  She brushed past me and ran up the steps to the house in her bare feet. It only took a moment before I spun around and charged after her.

  Swinging open the screen door, I stepped into the kitchen and caught her arm, pulling her back to me.

  “I don’t want you to owe me,” I said in a low voice, staring down at her while we stood chest to chest. “I just . . . I think about you, and I want . . .”

  She stood there, her chest rising and falling, like she was too afraid to move and to
o afraid to run.

  A girl like this was used to disappointment—used to being used—but I wasn’t going to hurt her. I wasn’t going to steal from her or hit her, and I wasn’t going to make her do things that put her in danger.

  And when I looked at her, I didn’t see just a piece of ass. I saw something to look forward to.

  I took a step, walking into her and slowly backing her into the wall. “My marriage is on paper only, and it’s over. I already know that. I don’t want to hurt her, but I’ve never thought about her the way I think about you. I see the way you look at me, kid. This is not one-sided on my part.” I called her out. “Is it?”

  She remained still, her breathing trembling like she couldn’t fight, but she was too afraid to give in, as well. She didn’t want to fight me.

  “Now we can keep this clean, if you want. I can make good on that lie and let you babysit my son,” I suggested. “Would you prefer that?”

  I kept walking her backward, invading her space.

  This was what I was good at. Threats and intimidation. I knew I shouldn’t, but I loved the way she retreated. I never felt powerful outside work, faced with my failures at home, and I was completely turned on.

  “I’d pay you well,” I told her. “And at the end of the night, when I drove you home, I’d try not to pull off the road.” I reached down and grazed the inside of her thigh, still dripping with water from the sprinkler, making her gasp. “And I’d try not to get you into the backseat of my car.” And then I leaned down, whispering against her lips. “Because I have very good control . . . until I don’t.”

  She ran into the wall and let out a whimper, and I let my eyes fall to her breasts, seeing the shape of them perfectly outlined through the wet fabric. I clenched my jaw, already feeling her in my mouth.

  I placed my finger under her chin and raised it, tipping her eyes up at me. “Is that what you want?” I asked. “To be something for me to play with?”

  Her hips grazed mine, and she bit her bottom lip, turning her head away.

  The heat of her thighs was so close and I couldn’t hold back anymore. Reaching down, I grabbed the back of her thigh in one hand and cupped her face with the other and pressed the full length of my body against hers, our lips an inch away from each other.

  “I don’t want that, Kat,” I whisper. “You know what I want? I want you to think about me. Do you think about me?” She stood frozen, her eyes squeezed shut, but her body started making little movements, grinding on mine and getting me hot.

  “Yeah,” I gloated. “You do, don’t you?”

  And I reached under her dress, grabbed hold of her soaked panties, and ripped them clean off her body, the tearing fabric like a shot of fucking heroin to my veins.

  She let out a small cry and wrapped her arms around my neck.

  “You think about wrapping these legs around me and opening that shirt for me, so I can touch you,” I recited as I lifted her up and guided her thighs around my waist. “You think about a dark room with a big bed and laying out on twenty-four-hundred-dollar sheets with nothing but me between your legs.”

  “Yes,” she breathed out.

  I inched my mouth closer to hers, layering our lips so that we were both just inhaling and exhaling, tasting each other.

  I reached down between us and slid my fingers along the smooth skin of her heat, feeling how wet she was.

  Fuck, I couldn’t wait.

  Holding her with one hand, I worked at my belt, unfastening it, and then scrambled for the button and zipper of my pants.

  “Okay, I’ve got everything!” a voice called.

  But I barely fucking cared. I took her mouth in mine, sinking my lips and tongue into her and claiming her. The taste of water hit my mouth, and a rush of warmth washed over me as I gripped her wet thigh in my hand.

  “Call when you’re done later!”

  Kat pulled away from the kiss. “Thanks, Deena!” she shouted, out of breath. “I’ll pick him up later.”

  And then her lips were on mine again as she slipped her tongue into my mouth and bit down on my bottom lip. It was so good, an electric shock coursed down my spine.

  “Goddamn it.” I slammed one hand into the wall by her head, losing my cool.

  But I went back for more, covering her lips with mine and feeling my hands hum every single place I touched and held her.

  I didn’t know where the bedroom or living room was, and even though it would only take a moment to find out, we didn’t have that much time. I needed her.

  “What are you waiting for?” she taunted in my ear. “Or does College Boy need his twenty-four-hundred-dollar sheets to fuck me like a man?”

  I growled and spun her around, taking both of us to the ground. What a mouthy little brat.

  On my knees, I whipped off my jacket, tie, and ripped open my shirt, throwing it off to the side.

  Coming back down on her, I kissed her hard, while pulling the cold strap of her dress down and grinding between her legs.

  I dove down, cupping her breast and covering the nipple with my mouth. “Jesus, you’re perfect.”

  She moaned, squirming as I kissed and teased her, tugging at her with my teeth.

  “Condom?” I was embarrassed to have to ask, but I hadn’t needed them in a while, nor was I planning on this.

  She nodded and reached for her purse on the kitchen chair. I watched as she pulled one out and handed it to me.

  I unwrapped the condom and reached down, rolling it on. “He’s not allowed to touch you at all anymore.”

  Positioning myself at her entrance, I stared down at her and suddenly felt her tense.

  “I’m a little scared,” she said.

  I wasn’t sure what she meant, though. Clearly she’d been with at least one man before.

  But then it hit me. The whole reason she refused the car. She was worried about where this all led, and I didn’t have the answers any more than she did.

  I could only tell her what I could promise. “I’ve got you.”

  She drew in a breath and pulled me back down, eating me up and clawing at my back as I pushed myself inside her.

  “Ah,” she panted, throwing her head back.

  “Oh, God,” I groaned, sinking deeper and shuddering at the wet heat. Fuck, she was tight.

  Pulling slowly out, I thrust back in and felt everything in my body come alive. The hairs on my arms stood up, a buzz coursed under my skin, and I’d never wanted to kiss someone so hard she’d break.

  Her husband could walk in the front door, and I wouldn’t stop.

  “Jase,” she whimpered, lifting her head up and her whole body going tense. “Oh, God.”

  “You coming already?” I snatched up her lips, teasing her.

  “Yes.” She slipped her hands inside my pants, grabbing hold of my ass to pull me deeper inside of her, and then bit my jaw, whispering against my skin. “More. Harder.”

  I pushed myself up on one arm, sliding my other hand under her ass, and watched in fucking awe as her body moved underneath me and her face tensed up in pleasure as I rode her harder and harder.

  Sweat glided down my back and glistened on her top lip. I felt her body clench up around me, and then she let out a scream as she moaned and took everything I had to give.

  Her body shook and her neck arched back, opening for my mouth.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I whispered against her neck, biting it. “Even hotter when you’re getting fucked.”

  I thrust a few more times, harder and deeper, riding her like I couldn’t get enough. She spread her legs wider, and I sucked her nipple into my mouth again, groaning as my orgasm crested, and I finally spilled, sinking as deeply as I could and trying to feel every inch of her.

  Her warmth surrounded me, and I couldn’t move anymore, savoring the feel of her body under mine.

&nbs
p; “So what’s with the tattoo?”

  I pulled my head up to see her calm, amused eyes as if we hadn’t just rutted like animals on her kitchen floor.

  I glanced at my left arm, high up, just below the shoulder joint, seeing the tattoo.

  “You don’t look like the type,” she mused.

  I gave a weak laugh. “I’m not. It was a misspent weekend in Hong Kong when I was twenty-two,” I explained. “I’d just graduated from college, was headed off to law school, and my buddies and I did a lot of things we shouldn’t have.”

  I felt her shake with a laugh. “But why a circle?”

  I shrugged, not sure how to explain. It had made sense at the time.

  The tattoo was a circle designed to look like it was painted with a paintbrush. However, there was a flaw. The brushstroke stopped just before it met the beginning of the circle again.

  “It’s a perfect circle,” I told her. “The same diameter any way you measure it. Even, clean, perfect.” And then I dropped my forehead to hers, closing my eyes. “But it’s incomplete.”

  I’d loved its one flaw. I’d loved the artistry and skill that it took to tattoo this perfect circle without a stencil, and I loved how it was left open and unfinished.

  There was so much right about it, but still, it was incomplete. Still missing something.

  I pulled out of her and stood up, disposing of the condom and cleaning up. Pulling my pants up, I zipped them and fastened my belt before leaning back down to help her up.

  Taking her in my arms, I kissed her, her breast still exposed and her damp dress hanging off her body.

  “Things are going to change,” I told her. “I want you out of here and away from him.”

  ut she just fixed her dress and shook her head. “I don’t want money from you.”

  “Do you want things for Jared?”

  She darted her eyes to me, a small scowl on her face. “Stop using him against me.”

  I let out a sigh, exhausted after the sex, and took her chin, tipping it back up so that her eyes met mine.