Ruined Mercy

by Brook Wilder

  “I’m not going after her,” I said, gritting my teeth together. “It’s your wife’s fault. She put her in there with me.”

  Chains burst into laughter. “Yeah, well, if you didn’t like her, I imagine you would find somewhere else to sleep. Hey, I think it’s a good thing. About time you found something else other than the club to love.”

  Love? Who was talking about love? I barely liked her. “There’s nothing there, I swear.”

  Chains clapped me on the shoulder, that damn grin of his blinding. “Yeah, okay. I believe you, but maybe you should consider it. Sabrina seems like a nice girl. Maybe she can find the softer side of Crankshaft.”

  “Fuck you,” I muttered as I climbed off my bike, shedding my leather jacket under the intense heat. Instead of my usual attire, I had decided on a t-shirt, vest, and black jeans, matching the rest of the group. I had guns hanging from the holsters under my arms, a knife strapped to my left thigh, and another hid in my boot.

  I was dressed for the kill.

  “Come on, man,” Chains chuckled. “I’m just messing with you, but seriously. Give it some thought. Every man needs a good woman.”

  Yeah, well, they were trouble, too. Adjusting my knife, I checked my ammo before striding to the back of the pack, where Ironsides was going over the plan one more time. It was simple: the team would cover Chains, Machine Gun, and myself as we made our way to the house in the center. Chains had made it quite clear last night: the accountant was to be brought back alive, and if one of us killed him, there would be consequences.

  I wanted to bring him back alive. I wanted to see Sabrina’s eyes light up when she saw her father, hopefully unharmed, and have the reunion I knew she was hoping for.

  I wanted to be the person who provided that reunion.

  “Any questions?”

  There were a chorus of ‘no’s and head shaking before Chains motioned for us to go through the trees, with most of the group flanking us.

  I cleared my throat and rolled my shoulders, part of my usual ritual before moving forward. This could be it. I could be delivering the accountant to his daughter before lunch time.

  What did that mean? Was that the end of my time with Sabrina? Sure, we would probably put them in a safehouse until the threat was neutralized, but she wouldn’t be camping out in my room any longer.

  I didn’t know how I felt about that.

  But before I could figure that out, I had to find her father.

  “You ready, man?” Chains asked in a low voice.

  I looked at him. “Yeah, let’s do this.”

  Chapter 11

  Sabrina

  I tried not to look nervous and worried.

  After getting up and dressing in yet another set of clothes laid out for me, I walked into the main room of the clubhouse and joined Rivet in making breakfast for the rest of the group that had been left behind.

  “You know,” she said as she scrambled some eggs. “You would think this would get easier over time.”

  “What’s that?”

  “This leaving,” she answered. “I used to ride out with him, but now I am stuck here, waiting and hoping he comes back alive. I hate it.”

  I could understand just a little bit after what had transpired between me and Harrison this morning. I had found it very hard to go back to sleep after he left, forcing myself to lie there until I finally drifted off, the kiss still on my mind. I didn’t know why he had kissed me, but I craved another.

  And another. I wanted so much to pull him down in that bed with me, to hold him there so he wouldn’t leave even though he was going to save my father.

  I was scared for him.

  “Whoa, are you serious?”

  I looked at Rivet. “What?”

  She pursed her lips together in a grin. “You and Crankshaft? Really?”

  “What? No,” I said quickly, pulling out another piece of bread. “There’s nothing between us.” But even as I said the words, my face burned with embarrassment. Was I that transparent?

  Rivet piled the eggs onto the platter before setting the spatula aside. “Okay, yeah, lie to someone else, alright? I’ve seen that look before. Heck, that look has been on my face before.”

  I sighed, rubbing my eyes from behind my glasses. “Really, there’s nothing between us.”

  She laughed. “Oh, there’s something between you two. Don’t be scared about it, Sabrina. I know Crankshaft can be, well, difficult at times, but he’s a good guy deep down. He’s just misunderstood.”

  “Why?” I blurted out. “Why is he like that?”

  She shrugged, reaching for a piece of toast that was already buttered. “I really don’t know his backstory. I do know that he had a crappy childhood, but that’s about it.”

  Trying to find out from Harrison was going to be like pulling teeth. I had already tried to hash out in my mind what would happen if he did bring my father home and what that meant for any future thing between us.

  It wouldn’t be happening. There was no way I could just date a biker, not because of who Harrison was, but because of my future and finishing my degree. It was the only thing I had worked toward for the last three years, the one thing I needed in my life.

  That was, before Harrison. Was he even interested in a relationship? There was definite attraction between us, though I didn’t know if it was because I was just easily available or if he really liked me.

  I liked him.

  That thought stayed with me all morning until the moment when someone said they were back. I hurried out with the rest of the group, watching as the bikes came tearing down the dead-end street. My heart was in my throat as I tried to pick out Harrison amongst the group, finding it hard to spot him.

  They all looked like they had been through hell.

  “Shit,” Rivet breathed as she hurried down the steps to the bikes, throwing her arms around Ironsides the moment she got to him. I followed behind her, stopping short when I finally saw Harrison.

  He was being helped off the bike, the grimace on his face making me instantly concerned.

  “What happened?” I asked as they approached me.

  “Move,” Chains growled. “We have got to get him inside.”

  It was then I saw the ashen color of his face, the way he was leaning heavily on Chains. The front of his shirt looked wet, and as they passed, I realized it was blood.

  Oh God.

  The next few minutes was chaos. I tried to follow the duo into the clubhouse, where Widow Maker was directing traffic and sending the injured into the conference room for treatment. She took one look at me and pointed in the direction of Harrison’s room, me nodding in understanding. I hurried down the hall, finding the room overrun by club members.

  Two were trying to hold Harrison down as they cut away his shirt, revealing an angry gash across his chest.

  “Just knock him out, will you?” Chains shouted, his hands on Harrison’s shoulders. “He’s not helping himself.”

  One of the club members reared back and before I realized it, socked Harrison hard on the jaw, causing him to fall back.

  “What did you do?” I screamed, storming into the room and not caring who was in there. “Why did you do that?”

  Chains looked over at me as he straightened. “Medicine was taking too long. He was opening the wound wider. I had no choice.”

  “What happened?” I whispered, feeling nauseated.

  Chains slipped a bloody hand through his hair. “It was an ambush. We got two dead. Crankshaft took a knife to the chest and one to the leg. Doctor is on his way.”

  The room dipped slightly, and I pulled myself back together. “Is he…?” I couldn’t finish the words.

  “No, he will be alright,” Chains said, his voice soft. “But your father wasn’t there, Sabrina.”

  My eyes flew to his face, the real reason for them going out there surfacing once more. “He wasn’t?”

  Chains shook his head. “Sorry, he wasn’t. We will keep looking, though. He’s g
ot to be out there somewhere.”

  I turned back to an unconscious Harrison, my throat clogged with emotion. I would tuck the fact that my father wasn’t there into my heart for another day, but right now, all the focus needed to be on Harrison.

  ***

  Three hours later I stretched my back, wishing for a more comfortable chair. I didn’t dare move though, watching Harrison for any signs that he might be taking a turn for the worst. The doctor had come in and patched him up, giving me a dozen instructions I couldn’t remember half of now. Words like ‘infection,’ ‘fever,’ and ‘breathing issues’ had stuck with me though, and I had watched for any of those as the best as I could.

  The doctor had also given him some pain meds that had kept him out, citing a man like Harrison was probably going to keep tearing open the wound if he didn’t get some rest. There had been no consensus of who was going to watch over him, and Chains had just brought me a chair, squeezed my shoulder lightly, and told me to let him know if I needed anything.

  Harrison had been wrong. There were people who cared about him, me included.

  I reached over and picked up his hand once more, stroking the rough skin. My heart was heavy knowing they hadn’t found my father, but I was also saddened to think that two men had died trying to rescue him.

  I didn’t like this sort of loss. I didn’t understand the violence. This was Harrison’s life, yet I knew I would have nightmares for months of them bringing him into the clubhouse like that.

  How did Kristina or Rivet or the others do this on a daily basis? Now I understood why Harrison wasn’t attached to anyone. It would take a strong person to live like this.

  Drawing in a breath, I looked at Harrison’s sleeping form, not quite sure what I would say when he woke. Our kiss seemed like weeks ago now, my missing father giving me a reason to stick around.

  With him.

  What would Harrison say? If he apologized for the kiss, I would be devastated.

  I couldn’t think about that right now. The most important thing was for Harrison to get back on his feet. I needed his surly attitude, those rare smiles that had my heart racing.

  I needed my friend back.

  ***

  Two days later, I threw the washcloth at Harrison, wanting to knock his tail out again. “You are being a very difficult patient, you know that?”

  He growled, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “I’m not a fucking invalid. I can bathe myself.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Fine then, go ahead. I don’t care if you rip out your stitches or reinjure yourself or die!”

  “Sabrina.”

  “No,” I said, turning away from him to grab my bag. “I’m done. I’m going to stay somewhere else now that you are clearly able to take care of yourself.”

  “Sabrina, come here. Dammit, why are you crying?”

  I was crying. Great, just great. I hadn’t even noticed until he pointed that out. “No reason.”

  “Come here, please.”

  I closed my eyes before turning around, finding Harrison in a reclined position. For two days I had been at his side, making sure he took his medications, and changing his dressings with the help of the doctor. I had bathed most of him, read to him, and just talked when I had run out of options. He had woken fully this morning and had been difficult since then.

  I made my way over to the bed and he patted the small place next to him, the anger dissolving from his face. “Sit.”

  I did and his hand found mine, surprising me when he wound his fingers around mine. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “For being difficult. I fucking hate being helpless.”

  “I know,” I sighed, wiping the tears from my face. “But you nearly died, Harrison.”

  “That’s being dramatic,” he said, squeezing my hand lightly. “I might have been injured but I was far away from dying.”

  I looked at him, feeling the emotion of the last two days welling up in my chest. “You don’t know how it is to be on this side of the tracks, t-to watch you not be you. It was difficult.”

  “Maybe you’re right,” he answered after a moment. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do what you did, but I do appreciate it all. I don’t have many people I can count on.”

  Acutely aware that he was holding my hand, I tried to ignore the warmth creeping into my cheeks. “You can get up this evening if you feel like it.”

  “Thank God,” he sighed, looking down at the white bandage that covered the middle of his chest. “I guess it’s another scar.”

  I knew what he was talking about. In trying to keep his fever at bay, I had run a cool cloth over his body, marveling in the nicks and scars that dotted his torso. It didn’t take away from his hotness, but it did tell a story of a rough life. “You will have to quit showing off your tattoo for a while.”

  He choked out a laugh, untwining our hands. “I never know what you are going to say.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “You look fucking exhausted. When is the last time you slept?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, suddenly feeling exhausted. “Two days ago?” I had caught winks of sleep when Chains came in and forced me to nap, though the naps had never been long.

  My nightmares had been enough to keep me going.

  “Shit,” Harrison said, his expression thunderous. “Here, lay down.”

  I hesitated. That would mean I would be lying next to him, further complicating this thing between us. Up until now it had been a touch here and there, or that kiss right before he had left to find my father.

  This was a little more.

  “Fine, don’t do it then. I’m sorry I asked.”

  Realizing he was hurt by my silence, I kicked off my shoes and slid beside him. “I was contemplating if I really had enough room or not.”

  He grunted as I carefully placed my hand at his shoulder, feeling the heat radiating off his body. I wanted him to wrap an arm around me, pull me close, but I was just happy he was awake, and I was here next to him.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t find your father.”

  Tears gathered in my eyes and I blinked them away, not wanting him to see me cry again. “It’s okay. I’m sorry you got hurt.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.”

  “I should have followed my father that night.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have. Then, well, you wouldn’t be right here, with me.”

  His voice caught on the last words and I closed my eyes, allowing my body to relax beside him. So, he did care that I was here and not just because I was taking care of him.

  He wanted me here.

  “I’m right where I want to be right now.”

  “Shit, Sabrina, don’t say shit like that.”

  “Why not? It’s the truth.”

  “Because,” he sighed, frustration evident in his voice. “I’m no good for you.”

  “I didn’t ask your opinion on the matter,” I forced out. “Do you want me to sleep or not?”

  I felt his hand in my hair, stroking it softly. “This isn’t over between us, Sabrina, not by a long shot.”

  I smiled tiredly, allowing the warmth of his body to lull me to sleep. We hadn’t found my father, I hadn’t told them about the SIM card, and this thing between me and Harrison was just now starting to take shape.

  I just didn’t know what to do about it, how to move this forward. Now that he was out of the woods regarding his injuries, I wanted more. These last two days had shown me there was more than just a physical connection between us, at least for me. He thought he was unlovable, unworthy.

  I wanted to show him he was everything and more. I wanted to show him I could maybe provide the happiness in his life he was missing.

  If he would let me.

  ***

  Somewhere outside El Paso

  Joaquin Cortez felt the buzz long before his tormentor came into the room. His body felt like it was on some sort of drug trip, the highs really high and the lows so bad he wanted
to crawl out of his own skin.

  When the lows hit, he thought about his family, his wife and his daughter who could be at the hands of this madman if he didn’t give him what he wanted. They were in as much danger as he was, and he was helpless to keep them safe.