Burned

by Gabrielle Gibson

  “Don’t be stupid.” Jack smirked.

  “Oh my God! You do!” Sarah clamped a hand over her mouth and laughed.

  Had a girl finally managed to get her brother interested in something besides sex?

  “Sorry to disappoint you. I don’t,” Jack insisted.

  “You’re lying. I can tell. And she’s totally crazy about you.”

  “She may have a little crush on me. But Jessie’s not my type.”

  “Oh really? Since when is drop-dead beautiful, amazing body, and sweet as sugar not any guy’s type?” Sarah asked sarcastically.

  “I’ve never had that much of a sweet tooth and Jessie’s about as sweet as they come. She’s a great girl, but seriously, I’m not into her like that.”

  He heard movement behind him and turned. Jessie stood there, her face turning pink.

  Shit.

  Jessie averted her eyes and stood there awkwardly, not sure what to say.

  “Jessie, Jack says you two are going Christmas shopping today,” Sarah said brightly, to change the subject and end the awkward moment.

  Jessie nodded. “Yeah, that’s the plan.”

  “Maybe you and I can go together one day next weekend. I haven’t even started my shopping yet. I could leave Beth with Jack and Kennedy, then you and I could have a girls’ day.”

  “Um, yeah… I’d like that. Sounds good.”

  They said goodbye to Kennedy who was perfectly happy to stay home now that she had someone to play with.

  As Jack drove his Jeep out of the driveway, he cleared his throat.

  He glanced at Jessie and said, “So what I said back there… I didn’t mean to…”

  “It’s okay, Jack.” Jessie interrupted him. “I already know that you don’t think of me that way. It’s not like it was a secret.”

  Jack didn’t answer her. He kept his focus on the road.

  “And it’s only natural that your sister would be curious about your relationship with a girl that seems to hang around a lot. A lot of people assume we’re a couple. You know that happens all the time. When we’re out to dinner with Kennedy, waitresses always think we’re a family.”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat and turned her head to look out the window. Funny how strangers made assumptions about them that so closely mirrored her secret wishes.

  “Yeah, I guess so,” Jack acknowledged. “I just didn’t mean it to sound like I don’t… I mean, fuck Jessie, you know what I meant, right?”

  He felt terrible. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel bad. If she knew how much he thought about her, fantasized about her, wanted her… well, it would just be confusing. He didn’t want to make her think there could ever be anything between them when he knew damn well he could never give her what she wanted and needed. That wouldn’t be fair.

  Jessie reached for him and pressed her hand briefly against his thigh. “Yes, Jack. I totally get it. It’s fine. Honestly, talking about it is just making it more awkward. Let’s talk about what Kennedy wants for Christmas. Also you need to get a Christmas tree.”

  Jack groaned. “Fuck. A tree? Do I really have to get one? Such a pain in the ass.”

  “Yes, Scrooge, you have to get a tree. Don’t you want Christmas to be special for Kennedy? I’m sure your sister will want one too, especially for Beth.”

  “Okay, fine,” Jack grumbled, giving in without much of a fight.

  “It won’t be so bad. It’ll be fun, actually. I’ll help you put it up. Kennedy is so excited for Christmas. You need to take her to see Santa Claus. Maybe we can do that one night this week after work.”

  Jessie reached into her purse for her lip balm and flipped the visor down to look in the mirror.

  “Santa Claus. Right,” Jack said, shaking his head. There were so many things about having a kid that he had never thought about.

  “Won’t you like to have a picture of Kennedy sitting on Santa’s lap? It’ll be so cute.”

  “Yeah, I guess. You know, I just realized that I don’t even know what she looked like when she was a baby,” Jack said, uncharacteristically sentimental. “I feel bad that I missed all that. I don’t know when she started walking or what her first word was… nothing. Jesus Christ, listen to me. I sound like a fucking pussy.”

  “No. You don’t. You sound like a good dad who loves his daughter.” Jessie smiled. “Oh my God, Jack. It appears you have a heart after all.”

  Jack rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay. That’s enough.”

  Jessie looked out the window at the gray, cloudy sky and smiled to herself. She had just had a great idea for a Christmas present for Jack.

  Chapter Eight

  “SO HOW’S YOUR NEW JOB?” Jessie asked Sarah, as they strolled through the children’s clothing section of the department store.

  “It’s great,” Sarah replied. “The kids I’m working with are amazing. They’ve been through some seriously awful stuff, but they’re so strong. So much stronger than I’ve ever been, that’s for sure.”

  “It must be hard, though, hearing about all the terrible things that have happened to them.”

  Sarah nodded. “It is. But it’s worth it if I can help them, even a little bit, you know?”

  “I’m sure you help them a lot,” Jessie assured her.

  “Too bad I can’t seem to fix my own personal life, too,” Sarah sighed.

  “How long were you married?” Jessie was curious and Jack had provided very few details about his sister.

  “Eight years. We met in college. Randy was working on his doctorate degree while I was an undergraduate. I worked part-time in his office doing clerical work in exchange for some tuition remission.”

  “Why didn’t things work out? Or is that too personal? If it is, just tell me to mind my own business,” Jessie laughed.

  “No, it’s okay.” Sarah smiled. “Randy’s a nice guy, but he’s pretty much married to his research. Obsessed with it, really. Didn’t leave a lot of time for a wife and daughter who wanted at least a little attention now and then.”

  “So you guys split up amicably?”

  “Sort of. We had some things to work out. Financially. I had signed a prenuptial agreement. His family has a lot of money so it made sense he wanted to protect his inheritance. But when he said he didn’t want regular visitation with Beth I was caught off guard. I mean, he wasn’t the most involved father, but I assumed he would want to see her every other weekend, at least.”

  “He didn’t?” Jessie’s heart ached a little for Beth, who was such a sweet little girl. How unfair for her.

  Sarah shook her head sadly. “No. He said he was too busy with his work. He asked to see her twice a year. A week in the summer and alternating the day after Christmas through New Year’s Day one year, and the school spring break over Easter the next. That’s when I asked if he would mind if I moved up here. That way I could explain to Beth why she only sees her dad twice a year. We told her that Randy was going to be traveling a lot for work so it made sense for us to come live closer to Uncle Jack. I just couldn’t tell her that he didn’t want to see her more than that. It would hurt her so badly.”

  “And he agreed?” Jessie’s eyes filled with tears.

  “Yes. He thought it was for the best, actually. He offered me enough money to buy a house for us and a reasonable monthly child support if I would take her and go.”

  “That’s so sad. I’m so sorry, Sarah.”

  Sarah’s voice shook a little. “I wanted my daughter to have a good father. Someone she could count on and look up to. I wanted her to have a different experience than I had with my dad. But her dad is just as absent as mine was, but for different reasons.”

  “Does Jack know all this?” Jessie asked.

  Sarah nodded. “Yeah. I pretty much tell him everything.”

  “Well, Beth is lucky to have a great mom like you.”

  “Thanks, Jessie. I’m doing my best.”

  Sarah flipped through the racks of clothes and pulled something out.
>
  “That’s so cute,” Jessie said, admiring the adorable winter coat that Sarah was holding up in front of her.

  “You like it? I’m afraid Beth isn’t used to these cold winters after living in Florida her whole life,” Sarah laughed.

  “You probably aren’t used to them, either, right?”

  Sarah shook her head. “No, not at all. But at least I grew up a little further north. It can get chilly in the winter in South Carolina, especially at night. Some of my favorite memories are of all those bonfires we used to have.”

  Jessie thought she detected a wistful tone in Sarah’s voice.

  “Me and my friends did that, too.”

  Sarah smiled. “I guess it’s a thing no matter where you grow up. Jack and Chris and… his other friends would get that fire so big and roaring I was sometimes afraid it would get out of control. But they always seemed to keep it somewhere just short of wild.”

  They walked to the cash register in the big department store and waited as the cashier scanned the items Sarah had selected for her daughter and Kennedy.

  “What was Jack like when he was a teenager?” Jessie asked, trying to keep her voice light.

  She was so curious but she didn’t want to pump Sarah for information about him. That didn’t seem right. She really liked Sarah and was enjoying getting to know her better. But a few questions couldn’t hurt anything.

  Sarah smiled at the cashier and took the receipt she handed her, along with the medium sized bag.

  “Thank you so much,” she spoke sweetly, her southern accent making her even cuter than she already was.

  As they walked out of the store, Sarah answered her question.

  “Jack was… well, he was like he is now, I guess. Moody, serious, intense. But also fun and playful when he was having a good time. He honestly hasn’t changed all that much since those days. He’s always been steady, but there’s a kind of bitterness that I think comes out in that sarcastic way he has. I don’t know if he’s ever talked to you about our parents. Our dad was, well, let’s just say that he wasn’t exactly a solid role model.”

  “He’s told me a little,” Jessie admitted. “No details, really, just that your dad drank a lot and that they don’t get along real well.”

  “Ha! That’s an understatement. Jack won’t have anything to do with him at all. I can’t really blame him. Our dad did some really awful things. But he’s changed. Honestly, he has. He hasn’t had a drink in three years. I’ve tried to tell Jack but he won’t listen. He just changes the subject or walks out of the room when I try to talk to him about it.”

  Jessie’s heart felt heavy.

  “Do you think he’ll ever come around?”

  Sarah shook her head. “I doubt it. I wish he would at least give our dad a chance to make amends, but he’s so stubborn. And I get it. I really do. There’s a reason that Jack uses women like sex toys and then discards them like trash. Our father was the exact same way. Even when he was married to our mother.”

  “Oh, Sarah, that’s… well, that had to be really hard.” Jessie remembered Jack mentioning his dad bringing women home.

  “And I guess it’s the therapist in me, but I can see so clearly that Jack has this whole love-hate thing going on with women. He can’t get enough of them. That much is obvious. But at the same time, he hates them for taking our dad away from him when he was growing up. We needed him so much and instead of taking care of us, he spent all of his time getting laid and basically ignoring us. Jack hates him for that.”

  “I can understand that,” Jessie said. “I mean, it makes sense.”

  Sarah nodded. “Jack has always been drawn to that same kind of woman. The kind of women our father used to bring home. Even as he’s drawn to them, there’s a certain level of anger there. I mean, I’m sure you’ve noticed that he refers to them as whores and sluts, even as he’s taking them to his bed. I’ve seen him around women, and he’s not very nice to them. But you know, they don’t seem to care? He still manages to take them home. Kind of weird, huh?”

  Jessie nodded silently.

  Sarah noticed a pained look cross Jessie’s face and felt her stiffen.

  “I’m sorry. Is this… do you not want to talk about this?”

  “No, it’s fine. I’m actually curious to know what makes Jack tick, if you want the truth. He’s so hard to read,” Jessie replied, forcing a smile.

  “I got the feeling that maybe there was something between you and Jack. Or maybe that you wanted there to be something?” Sarah asked gently. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want. Maybe it’s too weird.”

  Jessie shrugged. “No, it’s okay. I mean, I guess if Jack was interested, I wouldn’t be totally opposed. But he’s definitely not. Interested, I mean. He’s pretty much come right out and told me that he’s not. So it doesn’t matter.”

  Sarah smiled sadly. “My brother can be difficult. He’s definitely no saint, that’s for sure. But there’s good in him, Jessie. There really is. I don’t want to make excuses for his bad behavior, but he has his reasons. We were only eight years old when our mom died, and our whole lives changed in an instant. We were just little kids and basically on our own. Jack always felt responsible for me. That’s a hell of a lot of pressure for a little boy to take on. And watching our dad bring a different woman home every night? That really messed his little head up. It messed me up, too, but in a different way.”

  Jessie nodded. The things that Sarah was telling her were helping her understand Jack in a way she hadn’t before. She felt so strongly that Sarah was right. There was good in him. She had seen glimpses of it.

  “But I believe in redemption, Jessie. I know they say people don’t change, but I believe that people can become better versions of themselves. Our experiences make us who we are. And we’re constantly evolving, for better or worse. I love my brother, Jessie. He took care of me when I had no one else in the world who cared. He still takes care of me when I need him to. I haven’t given up on my brother finding happiness and peace in his life. Maybe you shouldn’t give up on him just yet, either.”

  Jessie smiled shyly and nodded. She hoped that Sarah was right.

  Chapter Nine

  JACK WAS RECONSIDERING HIS FEELINGS about the Christmas tree. Sure, it was a huge pain in the ass to set up, and he’d spent a fuckton of money on ornaments, mostly picked out by Kennedy and Beth, with some guidance from Jessie and Sarah.

  But now that it was up in the corner of the room, with the little colored lights twinkling all over it, adding to the light from the crackling fire in the fireplace, he was actually enjoying it. It made the room festive, and just seeing how much Kennedy loved that tree was enough to make it worth it for him.

  Sarah had taken Beth and Kennedy to visit a friend a few hours away. They wouldn’t be home until tomorrow.

  Jack and Jessie had spent the evening wrapping Christmas gifts for Kennedy, Beth and Sarah.

  They had been taking turns doing Fireball shots until they were both more than a little drunk. After raiding the refrigerator and having a junk food-fest, they had settled on the couch to watch a movie.

  “Damn,” Jack said, his eyes glued to the television screen. “That’s so fucking hot.” He poured another shot of Fireball and knocked it back.

  Jessie felt her cheeks burn as the girl in the movie moaned and twisted her body around, her hand rubbing between her legs. She was glad the lights were dimmed in the room so Jack couldn’t see her face turning pink. He would probably make fun of her if he saw her blushing.

  Jack glanced over at Jessie. Even in the low light he could tell she was embarrassed by the hot scene. He poured her another shot of Fireball and handed it to her. She accepted it hesitantly.

  “I shouldn’t. I’m already pretty drunk.”

  “So what? You can crash here. I’ll sleep out here and you can have my bed, like always.”

  It had become quite the habit… hanging out with Jack and Sarah and the girls all day doing family friendly
activities, having dinner together, and then hanging out after the girls went to bed. Sometimes she had a few drinks or was too tired to drive home so she crashed in Jack’s bed while he slept on the couch.

  She shrugged and drank the Fireball he had given her.

  “Is that how you do it?” Jack asked, motioning to the girl masturbating on television.

  Jessie laughed and threw a pillow at him. “Oh my God, Jack! Shut up!”

  He laughed and caught the pillow. “Seriously, Jessie, when was the last time you got laid?”

  He was pretty sure she hadn’t been laid in all the time he had known her, which was about six months now. She went on a lot of first and second dates but as far as he knew, that was it.

  Jessie looked down at her lap and spoke softly. “That’s none of your business.”

  He laughed. “So tell me anyway.”

  “Why are so interested in my sex life?” She glanced at him.

  Jack shrugged. “I don’t know. Just curious, I guess. Do you even have a sex life?”

  “I’m not talking to you about this.” Jessie pressed pause on the remote. Luckily the embarrassing masturbation scene had ended. “Hush! You’re talking and making me miss the movie!”

  “Tell me what I want to know and I’ll leave you alone.”

  Jack grabbed her ankle and pulled her toward him.

  She laughed. “Get off me!”

  He pinned her down on the couch and started to tickle her, making her squeal and giggle.

  “Stop, Jack! Please!”

  “I’ll stop if you tell me.”

  He laughed, pinning her leg down with his. She tried to fight him off but it was no use. He was way bigger and stronger.

  “Okay, okay! But then you have answer a question too,” Jessie negotiated.

  He hesitated and then nodded. “Okay, deal.”

  “It’s been a long time. I don’t remember the exact date.”

  Jack had stopped tickling her. “Has it been since before we met?”

  She nodded. “Yes, well before then. Scott and I broke up about a year ago, so it’s been at least that long.”

  Jack’s bare chest and muscular arms hovering over her were starting to make her feel light-headed. Or maybe that was the Fireball. She wasn’t sure.