Burned

by Gabrielle Gibson

  She saw Zoey walking in the automatic door and went to her. Zoey threw her arms around her in a big hug before helping her with her bag and leading her out of the airport.

  Jack watched them leave as he turned his phone on. A text message from Chris popped up.

  Chris: What the fuck did you do?

  Jack texted him back.

  Jack: Yeah. I fucked up.

  Chris texted back within a few minutes.

  Chris: No shit. Drinks tomorrow night?

  Jack: Yeah.

  “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO say, Jessie,” Zoey said, sitting next to her on the couch and reaching over to pull her into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry.”

  Jessie had poured out every detail of her night with Jack while Zoey listened sympathetically. Jessie just couldn’t stop crying as she recounted each of the moments that she had thought meant so much.

  This was a mistake.

  Jack’s words kept coming back to her and every time she thought of them it felt like a knife was twisting in her heart. Such an amazing connection she had felt with him. She was sure he had felt it too. But he hadn’t. He regretted being with her. He wished they hadn’t spent the night together.

  “It’s like that night was every dream I ever had about Jack come true… everything was more perfect than I could have imagined. I was so happy. Until he said all of those things and left. And then him opening the door to his room and that girl being there with him… I just can’t… I can’t believe he would do that to me. We’ve been so close.”

  “Jessie, I know it’s hard to believe this right now, but honestly, you’re better off. He doesn’t deserve you. I’m so mad at him right now I could scream.”

  The doorbell rang. It was Savannah. She had picked up Krispy Kreme… one of Jessie’s favorites. She sat on the other side of Jessie on the couch and pulled her into her arms, hugging her close.

  “I’m sorry, honey. You’re too sweet for this fucked up world. And Jack is just a typical asshole. The only thing that surprises me about this is how long it took him to break. He’s wanted you for so long, sweetie. It was only a matter of time before he broke down and claimed you. And sometimes guys just need to conquer. They’re hunters. Once they get what they want they move on. I know it sucks.”

  “Thank you for being here,” Jessie sobbed.

  They spent the next couple of hours talking. Jessie repeated the details again for Savannah while Zoey made dinner.

  “It’s not like Jack cheated on me. We were never together. Never a real couple. It’s just that… I thought…” Jessie’s voice broke and fresh tears slid down her cheeks. “He knew I didn’t want a one-night stand. So I figured when he came to me it meant he was ready for more.”

  Savannah pulled her into her arms and hugged her close again.

  “Don’t make excuses for him, Jessie. He was so incredibly wrong for what he did. Oh, sweetie. I know this sounds so cliche, but truly it’s his loss.”

  “Do you think I…” Jessie looked down, ashamed. “Do you think maybe I… did something wrong? I mean he’s been with so many women and it’s not like I have a clue what I’m doing.”

  “No!” Savannah said firmly. “Don’t do that. This is not on you. I hate that he’s made you doubt yourself. This is about Jack not wanting a committed relationship but still wanting to fuck you anyway. He told Nick a long time ago that he wanted you. He just didn’t know how to do it without it ruining your friendship. Looks like he finally just decided to go for it. What a selfish prick.”

  Jessie nodded miserably. “Yeah. He is, isn’t he?”

  Zoey brought plates of spaghetti, salad, and pieces of garlic bread to the living room. They ate on the couch in front of the television, binge-watching old episodes of Sex and the City.

  “I’m going to be so embarrassed to see him at work this week,” Jessie said, dragging her fork through her almost untouched food.

  “Why should you be embarrassed?” Zoey asked, indignant. “He’s the one who should be embarrassed. He’s the one who acted like an asshole.”

  “But he won’t be,” Jessie answered. “I know him. And I’m embarrassed because of the things we did. I mean, he literally saw every part of me. With the lights on. He touched me everywhere… he even… put his mouth on every part of me. I mean, even the most private parts.” Jessie’s face burned, even while talking about it with her best girlfriends.

  “Jessie, honey… that’s what people do in bed. It’s not unusual,” Zoey assured her.

  “Yeah, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Savannah agreed.

  “Thanks for trying to make me feel better,” Jessie said. “I don’t know what I would do without you guys.”

  The front door opened and Chris walked in, his keys jingling as he made his way to where the girls were sprawled all over the huge sectional in his living room.

  Zoey had officially moved in with him soon after his proposal.

  He leaned down to give Zoey a quick kiss and then paused as his eyes met Jessie’s.

  She looked away, ashamed and embarrassed. Chris had known all along of her feelings for Jack, and now he knew what a little fool she had been in Las Vegas. He had been warning her away from Jack since Zoey had met him. And who could know better what Jack was like than Chris? They’d been best friends since they were five.

  Chris came and sat down next to her, pulling her into his arms for a hug.

  “I’m sorry, sweet girl. Jack’s my brother, but this was a dick move. Not going to try to defend him, though I’ve never known him to do anything this fucked up. Don’t know what he was thinking, if he was even thinking at all, but he knows you’re too good for him. And you are, you know. You deserve so much more than he could ever give you.”

  Jessie tried to hold back her tears, but they flooded her cheeks.

  “Thanks, Chris. I should have listened to you. You were right. He’s broken and he can’t be fixed.”

  JACK POURED HIMSELF ANOTHER WHISKEY as he heard the front door open.

  “Daddy?” Kennedy’s sweet little voice called.

  He sighed and sipped his drink.

  “Daddy!” Kennedy appeared in the doorway and came running across the room to launch herself into his arms.

  “Hey, kid,” Jack lifted her up and gave her a cuddle and a kiss on the forehead.

  “I missed you, Daddy,” Kennedy pouted. “Why did you stay away for so long? You missed my dance recital.”

  “I know, angel, I’m sorry. I had to work. Aunt Sarah sent me a video though. You did really good.”

  “Where’s Jessie?” Kennedy looked around. “Did she go to the store?”

  Jack shook his head. He glanced up as Sarah walked in the room.

  “No, Jessie’s not coming over tonight.”

  “Why not?” Kennedy asked.

  “I don’t know, kid. She’s busy, I guess. Time for bed. Go on upstairs and get changed. Brush your teeth. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

  “Okay, Daddy.”

  Kennedy skipped out of the room.

  “Thanks for keeping her,” Jack said, not meeting Sarah’s eyes.

  “Of course,” Sarah replied, giving him a strange look. “Is everything okay?”

  Jack shrugged and hesitated.

  “What’s going on, Jack?” she asked, setting her keys and purse down on the bar.

  “Guess I may as well tell you. You’re going to find out anyway.”

  Jack finished his drink and poured another.

  “Find out what?” Sarah asked, sitting down on a barstool.

  “Jessie and I… we…” He cleared his throat and rubbed his hand over his forehead. “We slept together. In Vegas.”

  “Really? You finally got together?” For a brief moment Sarah’s eyes lit up, but it quickly faded as she read the look on Jack’s face. “What happened?”

  He hesitated. “What do you think? I fucked the whole thing up.”

  “Oh, Jack. What did you do?”

  He gave her the shor
t version, not trying to minimize his bad behavior at all.

  “Why? Why did you do that, Jack?” Sarah asked helplessly.

  Jack shrugged. “I don’t know. I… just… I’m a fucking asshole. I should’ve left her alone and I didn’t, okay? I feel like shit about it but I can’t exactly take it back.”

  “You love her, Jack. I know you do. Why are you fighting this?”

  He shook his head. “I can’t. I’m not right for her. I’d just end up hurting her more than I already have. You know me better than anyone, Sarah. I’m like him. It’s in my DNA. Jessie’s a sweetheart and she’ll put up with my shit until I wreck her completely. She deserves better and you know it.”

  “Jack, you’re wrong. You’re not doomed to be like our father. You can change. It’s a choice.”

  Jack frowned. “No. I’m not going to put her in my line of fire again, Sarah. You didn’t see the way she looked at me. I can’t be responsible for that look on her face again. Ever. I’ve got to leave her alone.”

  Sarah watched him walk out of the room to go put Kennedy to bed.

  She felt an overwhelming sadness. Sad for Jessie of course, who must be so hurt right now. But also sad for her brother, who she loved beyond reason.

  She could see him struggling with his feelings for Jessie. She knew he had never wanted to need anyone. Never wanted any woman to get too close. She had never seen him care about anyone like this. It was tearing him up. So he had wrecked it before it had a chance to even happen.

  She wasn’t surprised. Sad, yes. Jack had driven away the one woman who might have been able to break through that wall he had put up around him.

  Although she had forgiven their father for his past mistakes, she felt a surge of hot anger rise up in her chest. It was his fault Jack felt like he wasn’t capable of loving a woman like Jessie. He had set Jack on this course so many years ago with the example he had set of what is meant to be a man. Sarah feared there was no way to change it. She wanted Jack to be happy. And she had never seen him happier than when he was with Jessie.

  JACK WALKED INTO THE BAR, seeing Chris at a table in the back.

  He sat down and looked around for the waitress.

  “Need a drink.”

  Chris nodded without saying a word.

  Jack sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

  The waitress came over to their table and Jack ordered a beer.

  “What the fuck happened?” Chris asked. “I mean, I know what happened. Zoey’s already filled me in on Jessie’s version. Your version any different?”

  Jack shrugged as he glanced around the bar. “Probably not much.”

  “So you really fucked her and blew her off? Goddammit, Jack. Why? And why the fuck would you let her come to your hotel room and see you with another girl?” Chris looked surprised.

  He had been sure there must be a misunderstanding, hoping that Jack would somehow be able to explain this terrible thing he’d done. He didn’t want to believe that Jack would do something so awful, especially to Jessie.

  “Is that what she said?” Jack asked as the waitress set his beer on the table.

  Chris nodded.

  Jack sighed heavily and shook his head. “I’m sure that’s how it seemed.”

  “But that’s not how it was?” Chris asked.

  Jack sighed again. “I did blow her off… and the part about the other girl… didn’t mean for her to see that but… I was… pretty rough on her. Not proud of it.”

  Jack motioned for the waitress again and asked for a shot of tequila.

  He looked at Chris. “You?”

  Chris declined.

  “You slept with her. Why the fuck would you do that? You know how she feels about you. Such a dick move, asshole. She’s not just some random chick, Jack. I mean, it’s Jessie we’re talking about it. She’s not one of your whores. I mean, Christ, Jack, you’ve always been a dick, but you’ve never been cruel.”

  “I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t trying to… use her. I didn’t lie to her. I swear I didn’t. At the time I really thought I wanted …” He trailed off as the waitress stopped by with his shot. Jack threw it back. “But the next day, not so much. Fuck, I must have been out of my goddamn mind.”

  Chris nodded. “Temporary insanity?”

  “Yeah, you could say that. I was… out of control. And she was… different. It was… pretty intense.”

  Jack called the waitress over and ordered another shot. He was definitely trying to get hammered as quickly as possible.

  “I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking. I thought I wanted… you know… to be with her. Like you and Zoey. But I can’t do that. We both know how it would end up. Eventually I’d be fucking around. She doesn’t deserve that. I figured I could either stick around and end up wrecking her, or I could walk away. She can hate me now or hate me later, but you know as well as I do, there’s no way this ends any different.”

  Chris nodded.

  “So what now?” Chris asked.

  Jack shrugged. “I don’t know. Hopefully it blows over eventually. Have you seen her?”

  “Yeah, she’s been with Zoey since you guys got back yesterday.”

  “How was she?” Jack hoped she was less upset. Seeing her so hurt, and especially knowing that he had caused it, had shredded him.

  “Hard to say. She didn’t really say much. She’s sad, though. Been crying. I’m probably not supposed to tell you that.”

  Jack felt that weighty feeling of remorse cut through him.

  They sat quietly for a few minutes.

  “So? What was it like?” Chris finally asked. “I mean, finally hooking up with Jessie after all this time? You two have been dancing around this for almost a year now. Was it weird?”

  Jack shook his head. “No, not at all. It was… hot as fuck.” He glanced at Chris and then looked down at the shot glass in front of him. “Insane, dude. She hardly knows what the hell she’s doing, but it was still so… well, like I said, it was intense.” Jack shook his head. “I don’t know. My head is so fucked up.”

  “Do you love her?” Chris asked.

  Jack shrugged. “How the fuck should I know? I don’t even know what that means.”

  “Well, you really made a fucking mess this time. Not sure this is just going to blow over, man. Thinking with your dick may have just fucked that friendship all to hell.”

  “You think? I was hoping maybe with some time we might be able to get past it, you know? Go back to being friends, try to forget about it. I mean, it was one night, right? Jessie and I are so close… she’s a sweetie, too. Can’t imagine her hating me forever.”

  Chris shrugged. “Dude, it’s not that simple. She doesn’t think of sex the way that you do. It meant something to her to go down that road, even if it didn’t mean anything to you.”

  “I didn’t say it didn’t mean anything to me,” Jack protested.

  “Did it?” Chris asked him, raising an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, alright? It meant a lot. Told you she’s the sweetest girl I’ve ever fucking known. Care about her… a lot. Doesn’t mean I can follow through and give her what she wants, though.”

  “Just telling you, dude, don’t be surprised if she doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore. You can’t just keep fucking with a girl and hurting her the way you’ve been doing with her. Think this time you pushed too far.”

  “Fuck. I got to figure out how to make it right.”

  “Dude, leave her alone for now. She needs time to get over this. Don’t fuck with her anymore. Seriously, back off for now.”

  Jack nodded reluctantly.

  “If it makes you feel any better, she told Zoey the sex was amazing.”

  Jack’s expression didn’t change. He already knew that. Wasn’t too hard to figure that out. It didn’t make him feel any better at all. Who cared what amazing things he had done to her body when he had left her heart in pieces?

  JACK POPPED THE TOP OFF the bottle of beer, cold from sitting in a cooler of
ice on the floor. He took a long sip before popping the top off another one. He walked back over to the couch and handed it to Nick before sitting back down.

  The guys were over. Nick, Sean, Kyle, Jens and Chris, drinking beers and watching hockey. They were getting ready to start a poker game. The Caps were winning, but their opponent was trying to rally in the final period.

  “What the fuck dude? Where’s the food?” Kyle asked, looking to the long empty table on the other side of the room, where Sarah, Jessie and Zoey usually set out food when friends came over.

  On the last poker night, the girls had made chili, tacos, jalapeno poppers and a bunch of other delicious food. Then Jessie had taken Kennedy to her place for a sleepover so they could have a guys’ night.

  “I ordered pizza and wings. Should be here soon,” Jack replied shortly.

  “Where’s Jessie?” Nick asked. “I was looking forward to some good food. She more than makes up for it in other ways, but Savannah can’t cook for shit. All she makes is that vegetarian crap.”

  Jack shrugged. “I don’t know where the fuck Jessie is,” he answered testily. “Christ! She’s not my fucking girlfriend. I don’t keep track of her.”

  “She still pissed at you? Figured you two would have made up by now. What’s it been, two weeks?” Nick asked.

  Jack looked at him sharply. “Savannah told you?”

  Nick nodded. “Yeah, dude. What the fuck? She still not talking to you?”

  “What happened?” Jens asked.

  “Oh. You guys don’t know yet? Dickhead here finally slept with Jessie,” Nick announced. “Hangs out with her for almost a whole fucking year before finally closing the deal. Then in a move so fucked up only a heartless prick like Jack could pull it off, he totally blew her off for some random piece of ass.”

  “Fuck, dude,” Jack shook his head. “Give me a fucking break. You make it sound like I purposely fucked her over. I didn’t. It was more like a series of bad decisions made in the heat of the moment.”

  Jack poured a shot and knocked it back, slamming the glass down on the bar when he was finished.

  “Don’t care. You still fucked up. You hit the jackpot with Jessie and you just threw her away. You’re a dumb motherfucker, dude. No way a girl like that will ever look your way again,” Nick said, shaking his head in disbelief.