Burned

by Gabrielle Gibson

  He stared at her blankly for a long moment, as if he hadn’t quite heard her. Then she felt him tense and he looked away from her, letting go of her hand.

  “Don’t say that. You’re not. I can’t…”

  “Jack, I need to know how you feel about me. I need to know if there’s any chance for us to… make this work.”

  He stared at her, his expression unreadable.

  “Do you… love me?” Jessie’s blue eyes never looked more beautiful to him as they did in that moment.

  He was silent, staring at her for what seemed like an eternity. Finally he let out a hard breath and looked away from her.

  “No.”

  The word filled the whole room.

  He glanced at her and she nodded and sat up slowly. Her eyes looked shiny, but she didn’t cry.

  “Okay.” She gave up then, feeling all of her energy disappear as she slid slowly out of his bed.

  She suddenly felt deflated and exhausted. She had given everything she had to Jack… her love, her devotion, her body. Still, he didn’t want her. He didn’t want the love she had to offer him.

  He sat up and watched her slip into her dress. She turned around so he could lean over and zip her up.

  “Jessie,” he said, his heart pounding out of his chest as he struggled to do the right thing. “I care about you… more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. But I’m not in love with you. I’ve never been in love with anyone. I don’t even know what that’s supposed to feel like. I’m not like other people, Jessie. I don’t think about things that way. I’m no good for you… or any girl. You know that, probably better than anyone. You deserve better than a guy like me.”

  She nodded slightly.

  “It’s okay, Jack. I understand.”

  “Don’t go,” he said suddenly. “Stay here with me, just for tonight.”

  She shook her head. “No, I can’t, Jack.”

  “Jessie, are you alright?” He got out of bed and pulled on his jeans. “I need to know that everything is okay between us. I can’t lose you again.”

  He was suddenly terrified that having sex with Jessie again might cost him her friendship, as it had before. He didn’t think he could handle that. Even though their relationship had never totally recovered from that night in Vegas and probably never would. At least she was a part of his life again. A part of Kennedy’s life.

  She nodded and gave him the best smile she could manage, but he could see how sad she looked and it was tearing him up.

  “I’m fine, Jack. Really. Don’t worry about me. Everything is fine between us. I told you this one was on me. Nothing has changed.”

  But everything had changed and they both knew it.

  It was over. This thing between them. It was done. She was done.

  She went into his bathroom and closed the door.

  He went to the bar to get a drink. He had already done two shots of tequila when she walked into the game room, looking for her panties, which were still on the floor by the poker table.

  “I guess I’ll see you at work?” Jessie asked awkwardly, trying to slip back into normal conversation, as if they hadn’t just gone crazy on each other’s bodies.

  He nodded and followed her to the front door.

  She walked to her car without looking back at him.

  He stood on the front porch, watching her car pull out of his driveway, watching until her taillights disappeared down the road.

  There was still a part of him that wished he could keep her for himself. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to give her the kind of love a girl like her needed.

  Someone else would, though. This was the best thing for her.

  “WHAT DO YOU WANT, SCOTT?” Jessie didn’t even try to keep the irritation out of her voice.

  “Jessie, please, give me a chance to apologize for the other night.”

  Scott stood on her front porch, his hands held up in surrender.

  “I mean it, Jessie. I can’t even believe I said such horrible things to you.”

  Jessie hesitated and then held the door open so he could come inside.

  They sat down on the couch in her living room.

  “Okay, I’m listening.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jessie. There’s no excuse for the way I talked to you the other night. I was just… caught off-guard, I guess. I don’t know what I was thinking. Please, Jessie, forgive me?”

  “Why would you say those awful things, Scott? When I was just trying to be close to you?”

  Scott shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’m kind of old-fashioned, Jessie. I think the guy should take the lead. But I had no right to say those things to you. I know you’re not like that, Jessie. You’re the sweetest girl I know.”

  Jessie sighed. “Promise you’ll never say anything like that again. I won’t let you talk to me that way, Scott. I just won’t.”

  “I promise, Jessie. Never again.”

  He hugged her then, and she hugged him back, relief flooding through her. Maybe this would work out, after all.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  JESSIE ROLLED OVER ON HER side to hide the tears that were about to slide down her cheeks.

  She felt Scott’s lips press against her back. “You okay?”

  “I’m fine,” she answered.

  Scott released his hold on her and slid out of the bed, pulling on sweatpants and heading to the bathroom. He closed the door and Jessie heard the shower turn on.

  She was officially back together with Scott and she was happy. They enjoyed each other’s company, liked a lot of the same things, and their families were thrilled to see them reunited. Scott was polite and attentive. She knew where she stood with him. He had made it clear he wanted to pick up where they had left off.

  He had been on his best behavior. He had been nothing but sweet and respectful toward her.

  They had finally slept together again. Scott had never been a very sexual person, and that had not changed during their time apart.

  The times they had made love had been disappointing. Half of the time Scott had trouble maintaining his erection, and they usually ended up stopping before either of them were satisfied. Scott assured her that she was beautiful and it wasn’t her.

  Jack hadn’t had any trouble with his erections. She remembered how impossibly hard his cock had felt against her, jabbing into her flesh so hard it hurt. And he was so long and thick. She remembered how good it felt when he had torn into her, stretching her open and filling her up. A feeling she had never known before. Or since.

  She felt so guilty for still thinking about Jack, but she couldn’t help it. She did her best to push him from her mind, but it wasn’t easy.

  The other times they had sex, Scott had finished quickly, coming inside a condom in under three minutes. He sometimes slid his hand inside of her panties and touched her first, but it felt forced. It seemed like he didn’t really want to be touching her. It was as if he was performing a courtesy to at least try to arouse her. But his heart didn’t seem to be in it.

  She had tried suggesting new positions, hoping to spice things up, but Scott hadn’t been interested. He would just ignore her and keep pumping away on top of her, his eyes closed and completely oblivious to whether or not she was getting off.

  God, Jack had ruined her. Now that she had something to compare it to, sex with Scott was even less satisfying than it had been before.

  The sex with Scott might not be overly electric, but every other part of her relationship with him was good. They really liked each other. Scott was smart, kind, considerate and sweet. He brought flowers, took her to romantic restaurants, chatted about politics with her dad at Sunday brunch, and even came to church with her family most weeks.

  They worked. They made sense together. The sex would hopefully get better, with time.

  Scott came to bed, wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, kissing her sweetly before falling asleep.

  She lay there for a long time, unwanted memories of Jack invading her heart.

/>   A heavy feeling of guilt settled in her stomach. Scott was a great guy. He didn’t deserve to have the girl in his life dreaming of someone else.

  Jack didn’t want her, but she couldn’t help it that she still loved him. What if she never stopped loving him? Was she supposed to be alone the rest of her life?

  Moving on was the right thing to do. Eventually her heart would accept what her brain already had. She and Jack were over. Over before they had ever really began.

  Scott was here, treating her like a lost treasure that he would never let go of again.

  How could there be any doubt where she belonged?

  “SCOTT… I… DON’T KNOW WHAT to say…”

  Just a week later they were having dinner on Scott’s boat. A romantic, candle-lit dinner that Scott had put together for them.

  After an amazing meal that Scott had arranged to have delivered from one of Jessie’s favorite Annapolis restaurants, he had disappeared for a moment, leaving the spacious cabin.

  When he returned moments later, he dropped to one knee and held out a small box.

  “Jessie,” he began. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. You’re the sweetest girl I’ve ever met. I can’t think of anyone who could be more perfect for me. I want to be with you. I want to raise a family with you.”

  Jessie held her breath, her heart pounding, a nervous perspiration breaking out all over her body.

  “A year and a half ago I asked you a question. I wonder if I ask you the same question now if I might get a different answer.”

  Jessie was frozen in place, too surprised to react one way or another.

  “Jessie, will you make me the happiest man in the world and say that you’ll marry me?” Scott opened the box, revealing a beautiful ring.

  It was new, not his grandmother’s ring that he had offered her before.

  “Oh Scott, I…” Jessie stammered. “I don’t know. I want to say yes, but I’m not sure. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

  “Do you love me, Jessie?” Scott asked, his eyes still shining and hopeful.

  “Yes, Scott, I do love you. Truly, I always have. It’s just… can I think about it for a couple of days? Please don’t think I don’t love you. I think you’re wonderful. I just want to be totally sure that I’m ready, before I make that promise.”

  Scott looked disappointed, but nodded. “Sure, Jessie. If you need a couple of days, take them. What’s a couple of days when we’re talking about our whole lives, right?”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  IT WAS A PERFECT SPRING day for a wedding. Zoey had chosen the middle of May specifically hoping for weather like this.

  Jessie stood next to Jack, feeling the soft, breezy material of her pretty, violet-colored, floor length gown swirl around her body. She clasped his offered arm as they prepared to walk down the aisle together at the wedding of their best friends.

  She would have preferred to walk down the aisle with one of the other groomsmen. But she was Zoey’s maid of honor and Jack was Chris’s best man, so they had to be paired up.

  And of course, Jack looked so fucking hot in his suit. It was rare to see Jack dressed up. He was more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. In fact, she had seen him in a suit only a few other times. But man, could he rock it. Every single girl was probably panting to see him walking down the aisle right now.

  Vaguely Jessie found herself wondering who would be Jack’s hook-up for tonight. She knew from Zoey that the bachelor party he had arranged for Chris two nights ago had gotten pretty out of hand. In fact, Zoey and Chris had actually had a minor fight over it yesterday.

  Leave it to Jack to hire not one, not two, but three hot strippers to perform a live girl-on-girl sex show in the middle of his game room. Lap dances for everyone, including the groom. That’s what Zoey had been pissed about.

  Jessie tried to forget that Chris had told Zoey that Jack had taken all three of those girls into his room with him. Some hot group action in the same bed she had made love with him not long ago probably made their encounter, which was innocent by comparison, seem laughable. Boring, even.

  But this time it was her own fault. She had gone to him. He had tried to talk her out of it. But like a little fool she’d had to have him one more time.

  She caught Scott’s eye as she walked down the aisle and he smiled proudly at her. She felt relief wash over her. Scott loved her. He would never, ever hurt her.

  She had done the right thing, accepting his proposal. They were waiting until after Chris and Zoey’s wedding to tell everyone.

  Her parents were going to be thrilled.

  JACK GLANCED AROUND, LOOKING FOR Kennedy. He was trying to keep an eye on her, but she kept taking off, running around with the other kids.

  The reception was casually elegant. The yacht was lit up with thousands of twinkling little white lights. They had sat and had a delicious dinner of crab cakes and filet mignon, overlooking the lights of Annapolis.

  He finally caught sight of his little girl. She was, as usual, clinging to Jessie, who reached down casually and lifted her into her arms, settling her on her hip as she continued her conversation with some older lady.

  He took a deep breath and headed in her direction.

  Christ Almighty, she looked beautiful. Just like a fucking goddess in that long flowy gown, a little wreath of flowers woven through her golden hair. Her sparkly blue eyes outshining every twinkling light that decorated the reception area.

  She had been standoffish this weekend. Friendly, but distant. Every time they locked eyes he could tell they were both thinking about it. No one else knew about that night. Just them.

  He’d had her again, her naked, soft, sexy body in his arms. His hands and mouth all over that blonde perfection one last time. Fuck, it had been intense.

  Since then he had been thinking about her constantly. He was practically going out of his fucking head knowing she was back together with Scott. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

  Apparently Scott had apologized for the cruel things he had said to her and she had forgiven him. Jack still wanted to knock him out when he remembered how hurt she had looked that night, the tears streaking down her pretty face.

  But if she could forgive Jack for the awful things he had done, he couldn’t come up with a good reason that Scott shouldn’t get the same consideration.

  He had thought fucking someone else in his room… three someone else’s actually… might help dull the memory of having Jessie there, but it hadn’t worked. In fact, after bringing them into his room and watching them make out with each other, he actually hadn’t ended up fucking any of them. He just hadn’t been into it, which was crazy because they were wild and hot and willing to do anything. He just wasn’t feeling it.

  He couldn’t stop thinking of Jessie… spread eagled on his bed, opened up for him, letting him do whatever he wanted to her. His face buried in that perfect ass while he tasted that sweet pussy until she came all over him. The innocent way she had sucked his dick, doing her best to please him, making him come so hard in her mouth.

  When she had whispered that she thought she was in love with him he had frozen. That was exactly why he couldn’t be with her. Those feelings for him would be her undoing.

  He would never forget the look in her eyes when she asked him if he loved her and he had told her no.

  Resigned. Tired. Done.

  She had given up on him.

  Thank Christ.

  “Hey,” he sidled up alongside of her. “She’s wrinkling your dress. Let me take her.”

  Kennedy’s head was resting on Jessie’s bare shoulder. He reached for her.

  “I think she’s getting tired,” Jessie said, kissing Kennedy’s cheek as Jack scooped her into his arms.

  “Yeah, Sarah’s going to take her and Beth home now. They’re both about done.”

  She met his eyes and then looked away quickly, her cheeks flushed.

  “You did a great job with your speech. I think Zoey was
about to have a heart attack during it, though. She was sure you were going to tell some inappropriate story about Chris.” Jessie laughed.

  He laughed with her, trying to ignore the way her blue eyes were making his heart start to race.

  “Chris told me he’d fuck me up if I did that. He always seems to be the level-headed, responsible one, but trust me, you don’t want to see Chris pissed. I wouldn’t even fuck with him like that.”

  Jessie rolled her eyes, exasperated. Would Jack ever learn to watch his language around his daughter? Oh well. It was none of her business, really.

  “Well, I guess I’m going to go mingle some more. I haven’t talked to Zoey’s grandparents yet.” Jessie patted Kennedy’s back. “Bye sweetie. I’ll see you later, okay?”

  Kennedy nodded sleepily, her head resting against Jack’s chest.

  Jessie started to turn away when Jack spoke, making her turn back around again.

  “You look good, princess.”

  “Thanks, Jack.” Jessie looked down at the floor shyly.

  “I mean it, Jessie. That dress is… well… you look… really beautiful tonight,” Jack stammered a rare compliment.

  Jessie shrugged and smiled, looking embarrassed. “Thanks.”

  Interesting how easy it was for Jack to lavish her with compliments while they were in bed, but so difficult for him any other time. All the more reason to assume that everything he said in bed was inspired by his boner, and not necessarily sincere.

  Which made sense, since otherwise all of the things he had whispered to her while they were naked in his bed might lead her to believe that he loved her after all, despite his crushing denial.

  “HOW’S IT GOING, JACK?” SCOTT sidled up beside him at the bar.

  “Pretty good. You?” Jack glanced at him and then back at the bartender, who was handing him a vodka tonic.

  “Great. Really great,” Scott replied, ordering a glass of red wine.

  Jack nodded stiffly and turned to walk away. There was something about this guy he just didn’t like.

  “Did Jessie tell you our good news?” Scott’s question made him turn back around.