For Now

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  I only call him my porch husband when we’re alone, but he calls me porch wife the next night at dinner.

  “What are you talking about?” Shannon asks. I glare at Javi.

  “Oh, it’s a long story. I was a little drunk. It doesn’t even make sense now.” I smile at him and he smiles back.

  “No, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.”

  Javi shrugs one shoulder.

  “I was drunk.”

  Over the next week, Shannon and Jett start looking for apartments. The search doesn’t go well. It’s an odd time of year to start looking, since most students won’t be moving out until after finals or during the summer.

  “Well, I swear I saw a rat at that last place, so that’s out,” Shannon says as she crosses out the apartment listings from the paper. She’s also been looking online, but those listings can be questionable.

  “Ugh, why is this so hard? We just want a one-bedroom. I mean, we’d take a loft. A freaking loft!” She throws up her hands.

  “Well, you don’t have to find anything right this minute. Maybe if you wait you’ll find something.” I’ve also been asking around to see if anyone knows of a place, but zip. There are plenty of disgusting shitholes, but that’s not what Shannon and Jett are looking for.

  I haven’t told her about the house and Javi hasn’t told Jett. I have no idea what the place even looks like. I’ve thought about asking Javi to take me there, but I still need more time. I feel kind of awful that Shannon and Jett going through all this to find a place when Javi has a place that they could live in if they wanted.

  We talk about it in bed.

  “I think you should at least tell them. Give them the option. Because they’re finding nothing right now. And… I’d like knowing they were in a place that you’re running. At least they won’t have a shitty landlord who will screw them over.”

  I’m not going to do anything about my housing situation until Shannon has a definite plan.

  “Are you sure? I was looking at rents for different places and I think I figured out a rate. The place needs a few repairs first and so forth and I need to get a renter’s agreement together and do some other paperwork, but I think this could work really well. And then I can spend my time convincing you to move into the other unit. It’s got a really great kitchen. And I may have ordered a Jacuzzi tub.” He wiggles his eyebrows and I jab him in the chest with my finger.

  “You are not going to bribe me to move in with you by getting me a tub, porch husband.” He rubs the spot I poked, as if I’d hurt him.

  “That’s not going to stop me from trying, porch wife.”

  The next day Shannon attacks me as soon as I walk through the door.

  “Did you know that Javi bought a house?” Guess he told her.

  “Yes. He told me that night you and Jett announced you were moving in. I’d blame it on the whiskey, but I don’t think that was it. I still don’t really know why he did it, but he did. So. There you have it. Kind of a perfect solution, when you think about it.”

  “And you can honestly tell me you’re okay with this?” I shrug.

  “I’m getting more okay. I wasn’t at first, that’s for sure. And I haven’t agreed to move in with him.” It seems a moot point. Kind of inevitable now.

  “Where the hell did he get the money for a house?” I hadn’t anticipated that question. I don’t know what Javi wants me to say. “I mean, I know he said he has some sort of inheritance that he’s been holding onto, but that’s just too weird.”

  I don’t want to give anything away about Javi’s past and family. It’s up to him if he wants to share that with her.

  “Has Jett told you anything about Javi’s past?”

  She shakes her head.

  “Nope. I’ve asked, but he’s a vault. Which is kind of sweet in a way. I love their relationship.” So do I. It’s my favorite bromance.

  “Oh. Well. I’ve also got it in the vault. But you might want to ask him.” I have a feeling Javi would trust Shannon with this. She’s much more trustworthy than I am.

  “Maybe I will. I’m definitely interested. But back to the house.” That damn house.

  I’m starting to resent the house now. It’s all anyone can talk about at dinner.

  “So, how big are we talking?” Shannon asks. She wants to know each and every minute detail of the place while Jett just wants to argue with Javi about how much rent to pay. And I’m sitting there and wishing I could go somewhere else.

  “Well, I think it’s definitely something to consider,” Shannon says. “Could we maybe see the place this weekend?”

  “Yeah, sure. There’s some renovations going on, but you can get the idea. You want to come?” The last part is directed at me.

  “I don’t know. Maybe.” I really don’t want to. Part of the reason is that I don’t want to get pushed into this moving-in thing and the other part is that I’m afraid I’m going to fall in love with the place. And then what? I’d have no reason not to do it.

  “I think you’d really like it,” he says. Javi has not stopped his campaign to convince me to move in so I know a lot about the house already. It’s like he knows exactly what I’d want in a house and has decided to tease me with it. He’s getting really good at it, which is driving me nuts.

  “We’ll see,” I say. I’m still on the fence.

  “Come, porch wife. I swear you won’t regret it.” Oh, I might.

  “Okay, okay,” I say. “I’ll go.”

  Javi beams at me and I know I’m probably going to regret this.

  Javi is so excited when we wake up on Saturday morning. Like, beyond excited. I’ve never seen him that excited. Not even at the prospect of sex.

  “You ready?” he asks as I put my hair up in the mirror. I’m trying to move as slow as I can. Jett and Shannon are already waiting in the living room. Jett’s started folding cranes out of notebook paper and lining them up on the coffee table.

  “I guess,” I say, smoothing the sides of my hair even though they won’t be smoothed. The plague of having curly hair.

  “Come on, it’ll be fun. Promise, porch wife.” He holds out his arms and I walk into them.

  “You’d better be right, porch husband.”

  We gather up Jett and Shannon and head out to my car, since it’s the most reliable vehicle that will fit four people in it, but Javi has to drive since I don’t know where the place is.

  We head closer to campus and then turn down a little side street I’ve never noticed before. It’s so close to school that I can see the football stadium through the trees. Javi drives down a street, flanked by very suburban and nice family houses on either side.

  I almost gasp when he pulls into the driveway of a duplex. It’s a nice tan color with white trim and is basically two cute houses connected by an entryway. There’s a front yard with a brick path leading up to each door and there’s a garage attached to either side of the house.

  “Here we are,” Javi says, driving up to one of the garages that’s part of the house on the left side.

  “This is it? Javi, this is beautiful,” Shannon says, staring openmouthed at the houses. It’s… it’s more than beautiful. It’s spectacular.

  “Come on,” Javi says, getting out and walking toward the front door. It takes me a few seconds to make my legs work to get out of the car and follow him. Jett and Shannon are behind me and they’re whispering to each other.

  “So, this is your unit and then the other unit is… unoccupied at the moment.” Everyone looks at me and I really wish I hadn’t come. This was a bad idea.

  Javi unlocks the door and we walk in. I almost gasp again.

  “Oh, wow,” Shannon says. I can’t say anything.

  Javi takes my hand.

  “So, this is the foyer, obviously, and here’s the living room and kitchen.” The first floor has an open plan, with the living room and kitchen only separated by an island and off to the side is an area that could be a formal dining room. A set of glass doors leads ou
t to a porch in the back and the yard.

  “What do you think?” Jett and Shannon have identical bug-eyed expressions on their faces. I probably look the same.

  “It’s just… wow, Javi.”

  “Seriously, man. This is something else,” Jett says. Javi squeezes my hand.

  “Why don’t you guys head upstairs and check out the bedrooms and bathrooms.” It doesn’t escape my notice that he said bedrooms, plural. Jett and Shannon head up the stairs, still talking, and I’m left downstairs with Javi.

  “What do you think?” he asks me.

  “I don’t know what to say, honestly. This is… this is too much Javi. Way too much. I didn’t think it was going to be a whole house. You said duplex and apartment and I thought… this is a house. Two houses. With garages and yards and shit. What the hell were you thinking?” I’m trying to keep my voice down, but it’s not easy.

  “But what do you think about it?” He’s completely ignored what I just said. “Put all that aside and look at the actual house. What do you think?”

  “It’s nice,” I say and let go of his hand. It’s much more than nice. I don’t even need to see the upstairs to know it’s beautiful. I always wanted to live in a house like this. A house that has an actual dining room and a fireplace and a backyard that isn’t full of trash and car parts. A house that doesn’t have a fridge full of beer and old pizza. A house that would be decorated for holidays. A house full of pictures and memories, more good than bad.

  This is what I’ve always wanted.

  The tears start again and I turn away from Javi to hide them.

  “Haze?”

  I shake my head and walk toward the kitchen. The counters are out-of-date, but I don’t care. They’re much nicer than anything I’ve ever lived with.

  “If you hate it, you can tell me. You’re not going to hurt my feelings.” I shake my head again.

  “I don’t hate it. It’s beautiful. It’s perfect. How could I not love it?” I turn back to him and he sees the tears. Immediately, he comes to me and holds me, rocking me back and forth and rubbing my back.

  “You’ve got to tell me what’s going on in your head.”

  “I know. This is just a lot for me. When I was growing up, all I wanted was a house like this. I dreamed about it. I asked Santa for a house like this every year. Even after I didn’t believe in Santa. I used to pray to Jesus during my brief foray into Christianity. I wished and hoped for it, but I never thought it would happen. Not really. And here you are, and I’m in love with you, which I also never thought would happen, and now you’re handing me a dream house and it’s just too good to be true.” There it is. This is too good to be true. My life just can’t be tied up this easily. Perfect guy, perfect house.

  “Oh, Haze. I had no idea about the house. Why didn’t you tell me?” I bury my head in his chest and close my eyes.

  “I don’t know. I didn’t want to talk about it.”

  “I understand. I think that’s why I bought this place. Because I always wanted a house too.” That’s right. I’ve been thinking totally and completely about myself and haven’t even given Javi a thought.

  “I’m so sorry. I’m being selfish and mean and I’m sorry. You’ve done this amazing thing and I’m being totally ungrateful and awful. How do you put up with me?” I really do wonder.

  “Because I love you, porch wife. It isn’t any more complicated than that. I love you and I want to be with you and have a home with you. Because when I’m with you I feel like I’m home and I want to have that all the time.” He makes everything sound so simple. I just get wrapped up in my stupid head and get all pessimistic about everything. To be fair, not a whole lot has worked out for me thus far in life, so my expectations are of failure. And then I met Shannon and then I met Javi and everything changed. Now my life seems like a dream. That sounds corny, but it’s true.

  “I love you. And I love the house. And I love being with you and I want to have a home with you. I want to come home from class and find you cooking in our kitchen. I want to go to bed with you and wake up with you in our bed. Maybe we could get a cat?” I always wanted a cat. The closest I ever got was when I fed this mean-as-hell stray that lived in one of the trailer parks I grew up in.

  Javi nodded and kissed both of my cheeks.

  “Yes, we can get a cat.”

  Shannon and Jett come downstairs and proclaim their love for the place. Then Javi and I go upstairs and check everything out. There are two bedrooms and two bathrooms and an extra room that could be an office. If I could make a blueprint of my perfect house, this would be it. I don’t even need to see the other house since it’s a mirror image of this one.

  We all congregate again and I can tell Shannon is bursting.

  “We’ll do it!” She throws herself at Javi and starts to cry and Jett is hugging him and banging him on the back and my eyes are getting wet again.

  “This is just so wonderful, Javi, I can’t even begin to think about how we’re going to thank you.” He tries to wave them off.

  “Really, it’s not a big deal. I’m just glad it worked out so well. Didn’t plan it that way.” I look at Javi and he puts his arm around me.

  The four of us stand in Jett and Shannon’s new living room in silence. Like none of us can believe where we are. Then Shannon starts laughing.

  “This is insane. I keep waiting for cameras to come around the corner and tell me this is all some sort of joke, or new reality show. I know that’s not going to happen, but…” Yeah, I know.

  “We’re going to get a cat. What about you guys?” Javi says, squeezing my shoulder.

  “Wait, does that mean you’re going to be moving in too?” Shannon says, looking back and forth from me to Javi.

  I look up at him and give him a kiss.

  “Yeah. We’re moving in.” Then there’s another round of hugging and crying and jumping around. Shannon and I are responsible for most of it.

  I was so reluctant to agree to this, but now that I have… it feels so right. So right. And good. And perfect.

  “Okay, close your eyes,” Javi says as we get out of the car and he leads me up the walkway to our new house. We haven’t moved in yet, but we will as soon as some of the renovations are done.

  I close my eyes and Javi leads me through the front door. We walk a few steps and then he makes me stop.

  “Open,” he says in my ear and I open my eyes.

  The room is flooded with candlelight. There must be hundreds of candles in here. I wonder where he got them all. They cover almost every surface, including the folding table he’s set up in the dining room. We haven’t had a chance to pick out furniture yet.

  “Oh, Javi.” He kisses the side of my head and leads me to the table and pulls out a folding chair for me.

  “I know it’s not ideal, but I figured the candles would help with the atmosphere. And I did say I’d foot the bill for two dinners if I lost the bet, so.” He shrugs one shoulder and then goes to the stove and dishes something out and brings the plates over. There are plastic cups and wine and it’s not perfect, which makes it totally perfect.

  We clink our plastic cups and I pick up my plastic fork to start working on the eggplant parmesan Javi has made, but he gets up.

  “I just have one more thing to show you.” He goes upstairs and comes back down carrying something.

  He holds it out and presents it to me.

  “I didn’t want her running around with the candles everywhere.”

  Inside the pet carrier is a sweet little kitten.

  “Oh my God, Javi.”

  “You said you wanted a cat. I found her at the humane society and I couldn’t leave her there.” He opens the carrier and takes the kitten out and sets her in my lap. She’s white and black and orange, with patches all over her. Calico, I think they call it. She meows and looks up at me and I can’t even breathe.

  “See? Now how could you resist that face?” Javi leans down and strokes the top of her head and she leans into h
is hand and starts purring.

  “She’s so cute. I love her.” I mean, what’s not to love?

  “Good. We should probably put her back in the carrier until we’re done with the candles.” Javi gently places her back in the carrier and sets it on the floor. She cries and the sound almost breaks my heart. Javi and I share a look before we both start blowing out the candles.

  “Where the hell did you get all these candles, anyway?” I ask.

  “Couple of places. I also ordered some online and had them shipped overnight. It’s a good thing we have a basement or else I wouldn’t have a place to put them.” True.

  Once we get all the candles put out, I sit on the floor and open the carrier. The kitten marches out and sniffs around and then comes right for me. Javi sits down next to me and she goes to him and climbs in his lap.

  “Great. It looks like I have some competition.” Javi strokes her head and she starts purring like crazy.

  “Yeah, you might. But can you blame me?” The kitten yawns and it’s so adorable I can’t even stand it.

  “Not really. What are we going to call her?”

  Javi shifts a little and the kitten protests.

  “I don’t know. I figured we could find a name when we’d gotten to know her a little. I always think it’s weird when people name their kids before they’re born. What if the kid comes out and the name doesn’t work?”

  “True. I never really thought of myself as a Hazel, but I’ve never thought about what I’d change it to if I did. But you’re such a Javier.”

  He gives me a weird look.

  “I am?”

  I roll my eyes.

  “Yeah, you are.”

  “Okay. Sure.” He has no idea what I’m talking about, and that’s fine.

  “How about Mimi?” I suggest.

  Javi looks down at the kitten. She looks right up at him. There’s a black patch on her chin.