Pax's Emperor

by Mara Jaye

  Add her to my protection detail?

  Pless help me, I want to say no. She’s just another being on this tiny backwards planet and doesn’t deserve the protection an Emperor’s guard offers. Yes. Our union and her closeness to Daneul make her useful in harming us.

  Understood. Have you tried flan? It’s a creamy dessert.

  Better than sopapillas?

  Eh, no. Pax talked me into trying something new. I’ll need to convince her I don’t regret this even though one bite is far more than enough.

  I laugh out loud and Daneul looks at me. “Uncle G’nar and I are communicating.” He leans against me and nestles in while G’nar sends me an image of his half-eaten dessert. I wince. Looks like something a durika coughed up. Looks like hummus.

  Don’t you dare ruin it for me.

  After a chuckle, I set notifications to urgent only, ignoring the urge to have G’nar glance up and send me an image of Pax. Instead, I watch the television while processing possible outcomes to my bonding with an Earther. I struggle for a few seconds before stopping. It’s futile. There is no reason for me to bring her to Ghar as my bondmate. Not unless I abdicate to remain here on Earth for the rest of my life. I look down Daneul. His eyes are droopy with sleep. He’s far too young to take my place. Also, my duty to my galaxy is too strong. I can’t believe I’d even imagine stepping down from my responsibilities to those who trust me, and not even for those who don’t.

  No. I need to ignore the bond no matter what the cost.

  Chapter Four

  Pax

  I ease my car to a stop outside of Eldan’s home. The morning is gorgeous but I’m so tired. If my small notebook isn’t here, I don’t know where it could be. My apartment is torn apart. I’ve searched the day care center. It’s not in my purse where it belongs. Before I go back to the Enchilada Entera to search their lost and found, I’d wanted to hit Eldan’s home since it’s on the way. G’nar isn’t answering his phone. Which is fine, but I need my notebook. It’s one of those little reporter types that would fit in a man’s buttoned up shirt pocket. My daily notes and to do lists are written down. I need it to plan the week ahead.

  The restaurant doesn’t open until eleven o’clock, so I’m sitting out here, getting up the nerve to drop in on the Lukes. I could wait until Monday, but then, no, I can’t. If ever there was a sign to give up paper in favor of my phone’s various list apps, this is it.

  The sun is already heating up my car’s interior. I could stall a little longer or just stop being a (ninny) and ask about my notepad. I grab my purse, leaving the car with it and my keys. I stop just short of double-checking the lock. Nine thirty isn’t too early for a Saturday. Not in this neighborhood. A couple of maintenance people are zipping by on those huge mowers. I can sleep through them, usually, but don’t assume everyone else does.

  I walk up to the front door, my need for my grocery list overwhelming my embarrassment. Seeing Gunner or Daneul doesn’t give me the nerves. Only the possibility of Eldan answering the door makes my hand shake while I reach for the doorbell. It’s one of those camera ones, too. I smile at it in case Daneul’s the one who answers.

  Except, he’s not. The door opens with a whoosh, confirming my worst fears. Eldan stands there and is putting on a t-shirt. The fabric covers a set of washboard abs. His arms flex as he pulls the fabric down over the workout short’s waistband. My smile feels weird as I manage to croak, “Hey.”

  “Good morning.” He’s grinning at me. I’m content to stare a while. No one becomes better looking overnight and yet? His skin seems a little darker as if he’d self-tanned since last night. His gray eyes glow and he seems glad to see me. Eldan opens the door wider, motioning me inside. “G’nar isn’t here.”

  Ah. He thinks I’m here to see his employee? “Oh, all right.” The place is bright in the morning light, clean, and I can’t help but notice Eldan smells amazing, a mix of cedar and fresh rain. He’s distracting until I remember my notebook. “That’s too bad, but he isn’t why I’m here.”

  “Daneul is with him, and they’re both gone.” He turns off the television. “G’nar wanted to take him hiking on a peak.”

  So we’re alone? I both love and hate the other two’s absence. “Sandia Peak?”

  “That’s the one. None of us have been.”

  I can’t help but smile. Last night, I’d told Gunnar about hiking with my mom up there. It’s nice how he’s doing uncle things with Daneul. I stop staring at the blank television to glance over at Eldan. “You should go sometime. The view is beautiful up there.” He’s standing, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His biceps pop and my weak knees want me to sit down. “But anyway, that’s fine. I’ll see Daneul at least on Monday.”

  “Probably G’nar, too,” Eldan offers.

  Right. Him mentioning the other guy reminds me. I have a reason for the visit. “That’s good.” If what I need isn’t here, I still have to go to the Enchilada to search, unless I lost my notes at the movies. I’ll have to stop by the dollar store for a new one and I really don’t want to start over. I clear my throat. “This is going to sound insane in today’s time, but I’m missing a little notebook and need to find it.” Before he can ask, I add, “I know it’s silly to rely on paper when I have a perfectly good smartphone. Plus, I think I’ve tried every free time management app out there, twice. There just isn’t one that works the way I want it to.”

  His eyes narrow as he stares at me. “So physically writing information down works best for the way your mind works?”

  I haven’t seen him smile much since we met. Even with him frowning as if to understand my thought process, the guy is so damned sexy. The whole stopping by while he’s casual is messing me up, too. He looks like one of those lean bodybuilders, even having a slight sheen to his skin as if ready for a competition. I shake my head and try to refocus. “I know it’s lame. Everyone at the center teases me about my little reporter’s notepad.”

  “Reporters?” His eyes grow distant before coming back to the present. “Ah, understood. Studies show writing by hand helps retain information.”

  His slight smile encourages me as does his realizing how my scribbles help me keeps things straight in my life. I can’t help but grin at him, glad he gets it. “Yep, and crossing off items on my todo list motivates me to keep going.”

  “I completely understand. The physical act is a closure.”

  Finally, I know someone who sees the method in my madness. “Exactly. I’m glad you get it.” I look around the living area, scanning for my notebook. “Although, if you or Daneul haven’t seen it today, I don’t know where it could be. I’ve turned my home and car upside down, spent the early morning hours searching the day care.”

  He takes a step or two towards me, his face serious again. “Haven’t you slept since yesterday?”

  I don’t want to tell him I’ve been up for over twenty-four hours even if it’s true, so I try to ask, “Not really?”

  “I don’t like hearing about your exhaustion.” He pauses, thinking. “Your item isn’t in your domicile or transport, employment, or on your person. Thus, the restaurant might be where it is, or where you and G’nar when afterwards. Maybe Dan’s room when your purse dropped its contents?”

  I can’t help but laugh. “You’re one of those guys with an excellent memory, huh? Able to keep massive lists in your mind at all times?”

  He tilts his head a bit, with a smile playing around his lips. “Something similar, yes.”

  “I’m so jealous,” I can’t help but whine before confessing, “I have the worst memory in the world. That’s why the notepad is my spare brain.”

  “Then we need to find it and make you whole again.” Eldan crooks a finger at me to come closer to him. My heart starts pounding as if I’ve had twenty cups of coffee in five minutes. Before I can take a step toward him, he’s going down the hall to the bedrooms. Of course, he’d want to look where I dropped everything. I’m the only one thinking about Eldan’s bedroom
instead of why I’m really here. He pauses and nods at Daneul’s room. “Let’s look in here because I have an idea of where your pad is.”

  I try not to smile at his use of pad without the note. He probably is too much of a guy to know the double meaning of the word. “All right.” When I walk into the room, he’s on his knees, reaching under the bed.

  “Found it, I think.” He holds up my notepad before looking at the cover. “Is this yours? I don’t see your name on it.”

  “It’s mine,” I say while stepping up to him. “The end of the spiral catches on everything and I’m looking forward to getting a new one when all of the pages are used up on this one.”

  He holds out my notes to me. “You dispose of this part of your brain when it’s full? That seems counterproductive.”

  I take my notepad, flipping the pages to today’s grocery list. “Okay, it does, but I have a system.” As I slide my notes into my purse, I notice him getting to his feet, watching, waiting for me to explain. “I have a larger notebook for permanent information and use the little ones for temporary items.” Before he can give me the same grief others do about my system, I add, “I know. It seems like a lot of work but it’s not. I don’t write in a diary or journal. I just make up lists of things to remember or do. I’ve been thinking about getting a tablet when I find the perfect notetaking app, and bring my system into this century.”

  Eldan gets up to sit on Daneul’s messy bed and pats the crumbled blankets beside him. I sit as he says, “Don’t apologize. Your system makes sense. It doesn’t need to be perfect for anyone else as long as it works for you.”

  “It’s great that you think so.”

  “If you don’t mind a personal question?” he asks and I shake my head. “Why don’t you just create your own algorithm for notes, lists, and permanent information for your phone? Writing the app to your specification would be a lot easier.”

  I laugh until I see he’s series. “Because I’m stupid,” I blurt out. “I’m not a tech god at all, in case my notebook wasn’t a clear enough sign.”

  He gives me a faint smile. “I seem to have offended you. I’m sorry. Programming and reprogramming is common in what I do. I forget not everyone has the ability or inclination to do so.”

  “I’m not offended by the truth.”

  “You may be a little technologically challenged, but the aspect doesn’t make a human stupid.” Even sitting, he’s still taller than I am and looks down at me. “You can command a group of very small children. I’ve seen you hold them in thrall with your words. While I can do the same with adults, it takes a rare gift to hold the attention of children like you do.”

  “Thank you for trying to make me feel better.” I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.” Any subject is better than one making him feel bad, so I change our conversation. “Actually, I think the important thing is, why didn’t you go with Daneul and G’nar to the peak today? I don’t want to be nosy or anything, I mean, if you had plans with someone else today.” He opened his mouth to answer and I had to interrupt him. “No, you know what? You had plans I’m sure, and I’m just being nosy is all.” After standing, I take a couple of steps toward the door and add, “It’s no big deal. I’ll just go.”

  “No, no plans other than some work.” He ran a hand through his hair as he also stood. “When Dan’s here, I want to be here with him. G’nar sometimes takes him out on research trips. I use the time alone to catch up on my own to do list.”

  Considering his earlier chagrin, I have to tease him a little. “You don’t need a notepad, I’ll bet.” I nudge his arm with my shoulder.

  “No, I manage to remember what I need to.” A slight smile played around his lips.

  I sigh, so envious of his ability. “You’re a lucky man. Be glad you’re not like us ordinary mortals.”

  He laughs. “I’m mortal, but not as ordinary as I’d like to be sometimes.”

  I tease him with a top to toe examination as if sizing him up. “Yeah, that would be difficult for you, considering your looks.”

  “My looks? How do they make a difference?”

  “Oh come on.” I back up a little before leaving Daneul’s room. “You have to be kidding. All the gals at the day care, even Mrs. Moss is flirty when you come in. She’s my gran’s age.”

  “They’re all kind people and why I let Dan go there.”

  “Uh huh.” He’s followed me into the living room. I can see his reflection in the television and grin at his thoughtful expression. “They all flock around Gunner because he’s great, but you? You’re something else and everyone can see that.”

  “But you specifically, you think my appearance is attractive?”

  I snort a laugh as he comes up behind me. We’re both using the smooth television surface like a mirror to chat with each other. I shake my head at him and his question. “Sure I do.” The guy has got to be fishing for compliments. No way could he be so obtuse. “Everyone who sees you does.” He still has a bit of a skeptical expression. Maybe he was one of those ugly ducklings who never got over a troubled youth. Still, he’s gorgeous and I can’t help but roll my eyes while saying, “Fine. You’re one of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen in my life. Probably the most handsome I’ll ever see.”

  “Hmm.” He stares into my eyes while moving closer to me. His smell captivates me again. I’m not sure what fabric softener or cologne he’s using but the stuff should be monitored by the DEA for its addictive properties. Once he’s close enough to touch me, he says, “I’m glad you think I am, because you’re the most beautiful woman in the galaxy.”

  “Oh, ha. Right. I don’t know,” I squeak and turn to face him. Now that we’re closer, I’m sure he can count every overly large pore on my face. “My dark circles probably have circles by now. Even worse, I’m still wearing yesterday’s clothes.” A cool breeze ruffles our eyelashes as the air conditioner kicks on. “I might be the best looking woman on the Moon, though. I hear there’s a pretty woman behind every tree up there.”

  “Which moon?” He asks before shaking his head. “No, it doesn’t matter.” He caresses my cheek. “You’re the loveliest anywhere. Almost irresistible.”

  He leans in as if to kiss me and I sway toward him. Everything about the man draws me in. I try to joke around, hoping to break up the tension. “You don’t need to resist me.”

  Eldan’s eyebrows rise before he leans closer to me. “I’m not going to kiss you, Paxton.”

  I melt when he says my name. “Why won’t you? I promise I won’t bite unless you ask me to.” I barely complete the last word when his lips connect with mine. Our kiss is more everything than I’d imagined. Warmer, softer, firmer, sexier, and my emotions are an avalanche inside me. A loose circuit is completed and I had no idea until now how much I needed him. He wraps his arms around me as if to help keep me upright and I groan when our bodies touch.

  Eldan’s hard. I shiver at the evidence he wants me. As he deepens our kiss, letting go of our liplock before capturing my lips again, I resist reaching down for his erection. Lust for him races along my nerves. I bury my fingers in the short hair at the base of his neck.

  He groans and pulls away just enough to say, “You need to go, refuse me, order me to stop this before it goes further.”

  “I do, because I don’t know when the others will return.”

  “There’s a full day, so not until this evening.”

  “Oh? We could be alone all afternoon? Why shouldn’t we have sex, again?”

  “No.” Eldan’s eyes are closed and he’s shaking his head a little. “No. We will not do this. I won’t make love to you today or ever.”

  Shit. He has issues about his wife’s death. I should have known he would. He dotes on Daneul as if he’s afraid of losing the boy, too. “You’re a very attractive man. We’ve known each other a while, and all of this is only natural.” I’m fun, and somewhat cute. If I’ve been the only one he’s kissed in a long time, no wonder he�
�s a bit of a horn dog. I put a hand on his arm. “Look, Mr. Luke, I think we need to be professional here. I’ll just go.” His eyes are still closed. “Hey? It’ll be all right. Watch, I’m leaving now and none of this ever happened.”

  I let go of him and take a few steps toward the door. “See? Leaving now. Thank you for the help in finding my notebook. I appreciate it.” I turn the doorknob, not facing him anymore. “See you at the daycare or if Gunnar and I go out—”

  “Stop.”

  Chapter Five

  Pax

  I pause. He’s right. Gunnar and I dating would be a problem. “He and I wouldn’t stop by here and even if we did, I can keep things professional between us.”

  My hand is still ready to open the door when he takes my hand and turns me around to face him. “Paxton, maybe you can, but I can’t. I couldn’t endure letting you love anyone else the way I want to love you.”

  I swallow because he’s using awfully strong words for a first kiss. “Um, we don’t know each other that well, Eldan.”

  “Well enough to be sure of what’s between us.” He takes my other hand, pulling me as he walks backward. “I need you.”

  His whole about face in attitude bothers me. Still, I let him pull me to see where we’re going. “What about earlier? When you wanted me to leave?”

  “You do need to leave but I can’t let you go.”

  He’s led me to his bedroom. So it is sexy times, huh?” He pulls off his shirt and I run my hands over his skin. He’s soft, not oily but still shiny, glowing. His pulse and warmth draw me in. I’ve never been this close to such a built man and I’m almost all in for whatever he wants. Except… “Look, we might not want to do this, since you’re going to regret this when we’re done. I know you miss your wife and are using me as a substitute.”

  Eldan slides my purse from my shoulder, setting it on an ottoman at the foot of the bed. He comes back to lead me closer to the bed. “I should be angry at your assumption about my motives.” He begins kissing from my ear, down my neck. “But I understand this is all new to you. Your culture might believe in love at first sight, but few of you trust it.”