Love is a Drum Beat (Rockstars Anonymous)

by Michelle MacQueen

“Dude, that was wicked cool.”

  Jo was the only person he knew who used the word dude so liberally. He assumed she did it because the word was impersonal.

  “Alexa,” he commanded. “All lights on.”

  The smart-bulbs flickered to life, and Jo’s eyes widened. “I want a smart house.”

  One corner of his mouth curved up. “I’m going to let you get settled.” He turned on his heel and left her to get comfortable in her new surroundings.

  But what about him?

  There was no way he’d be comfortable with Jo Jackson under his roof.

  Dax released a sigh as he played a few more chords. It wasn’t working. The guitar piece he’d written for the song didn’t fit as well as he’d hoped. He knew what Marcus would say when he produced the collaboration.

  It’s fine.

  Sometimes you have to leave good alone.

  But for Dax, good wasn’t good enough.

  Yet, something was blocking the creativity he usually had in spades. This, here in the studio, was where he could have complete control. It was the only part of his life he didn’t question. Music. It was what he’d always known.

  Then, why couldn’t he fix this?

  Jo hadn’t come out of her room since arriving the day before. He’d made her some soup for dinner, but she’d barely touched it. There was an exhaustion in her, and it was like she let herself give in to it.

  His phone buzzed, and he didn’t know what was wrong with him. It was the second day in a row he brought his phone into the home studio. And the second day Noah’s name shone bright on the screen.

  With a sigh, he answered it. “Hey, man.”

  “Don’t you hey, man, me, Dax Nelson.” Okay, so Noah was in a mood. His British accent thickened whenever something was bothering him.

  “I texted you that she was okay. Didn’t you get it?”

  “Your text, yes I got it.” He paused. “Two words. You send me two words to tell me how my best friend is doing. She’s fine. What does fine even mean? And you didn’t mention the baby. And Jo wouldn’t tell me anything when I called.”

  He let Noah’s harshness slide because he was worried just as Dax had been. “Doc wants her to rest until the baby boy comes.”

  “Boy?” Noah’s voice held a hint of awe.

  Dax cursed himself. Jo probably wanted to tell Noah.

  But Noah kept going. “We’re having a boy? Stell, Melanie!” he called. “We’re having a boy!” Excited chatter came through the phone. “Can you believe it, Dax? I’m going to teach this kid everything I know, just like I’m teaching Stella.”

  “Poor kids.” He hadn’t meant to let the words slip out. Dax wasn’t a jokester or one to give his friends a hard time. He was the calm one, the steady one. In Rockstars Anonymous, he balanced out the big personalities of Drew, Noah, and Jo.

  Ben was somewhere in the middle.

  Noah laughed and didn’t stop as he tried to catch his breath. “Did Dax Nelson just insult me? This is a moment in time I will never forget, mate.”

  Dax plucked at a string of his guitar. “I’m not myself today.”

  “Need to talk about it?”

  “No.” His eyes scanned the instruments, knowing he wouldn’t find the right tune for this song at the moment. “What were you calling about?”

  “Jo. She called me this morning and told me if I got on a plane to L.A., she’d punch me.”

  Sounded like Jo. “And you’re calling me because…”

  “Because she’s now alone in her apartment after having to go to the hospital. I’ll do what she asks and come back when it’s time to meet the kid, but I need you to take care of her.”

  “Jo would say she can take care of herself.”

  Noah laughed. “She would. She definitely would. But sometimes, she’s wrong.”

  “You don’t have to worry.” Why hadn’t Jo mentioned she was staying with him? “I have her set up in a room at my house.”

  Noah was quiet for a long moment. “And she… is okay with that?”

  “So far.”

  “Hm, interesting. Keep me posted, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  “And tell her we’ve all voted and decided to name the boy Noah Junior.”

  “I will not.” Dax set his guitar aside. “When did we vote?”

  “Oh, did you miss it? I’m sorry, Melanie and I held the vote in London with Stella breaking the tie. And that little girl loves me, so… Noah it is.”

  Dax chuckled. “Good luck getting Jo to agree.”

  Noah grunted something unintelligible.

  A crash sounded somewhere in the house, and Dax jumped to his feet. “Noah, I have to go.” He hung up and stuffed his phone into his pocket. Running out into the living room, he peered across the house to where the fridge was open.

  Once he rounded the kitchen island, he caught sight of Jo sitting on the ground surrounded by broken glass and pickle juice. She gave him a sheepish look. “I can explain.”

  His brow furrowed. “First, clean up. Then, explanation.”

  “Me Tarzan, you Jane.”

  “What?” Would he ever understand this woman?

  “Oh, I thought we were talking like we’d been raised by gorillas. You know, incomplete sentences.”

  Jo was ridiculous. And he couldn’t take his eyes from the tiny shard of glass piercing her foot.

  Dax retrieved a bag and picked up each piece of glass. They’d have to vacuum the rest. Ignoring the spilled pickle juice, he reached down and lifted Jo. Even pregnant, she was easy to carry. As if on instinct, she curled into him.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her breath hot on his neck.

  “It’s okay.” His mom used to tell him he had the patience of a saint. He rarely got mad. Annoyed, yes, but he wasn’t annoyed with Jo.

  Luckily, the pickle juice didn’t get on Jo, so he lowered her onto the couch. “I’ll get the first aid kit.” He knew exactly where it was. Really, he knew where everything in his house was. Each item had its place, and Dax wasn’t used to anyone messing up his orderly world.

  His obsessive cleaning mode kicked in, and he wanted to mop the pickle juice up, but that would have to wait.

  Reaching into the back of the pantry, he found the kit and returned to Jo. Her head was tilted back against the pillows, and that stubborn gaze was hidden beneath her eyelids.

  Panic gripped him. Had she been hurt more than he thought? “Jo.” He latched onto her arm. “Jo, wake up.”

  The tension in his belly didn’t uncoil until her eyes slid open.

  “I’m so tired, Dax.”

  The way she said his name—like it was the punctuation mark at the end of a sentence—did something to him, something he wasn’t used to. He cleared his throat. “I need to take care of your foot.”

  She lifted her head to look down at the small shard of glass. “This is going to hurt, isn’t it?”

  He pursed his lips and sat on the couch, drawing her feet into his lap.

  Rifling through the first aid kit, he found a pair of tweezers, an alcohol swab, and a long bandage. He searched her foot to make sure there was only one piece of glass.

  “Just do it, Dax.”

  She needed a distraction.

  “What were you doing out of bed, anyway?” He leaned in closer and latched onto the glass with the tweezers.

  Jo winced, but he could tell she was trying to mask her pain, to be strong. “I was hungry. I’m always hungry.”

  He removed the glass and reached for the alcohol swab, tearing it open. “You could have asked for something.”

  Jo frowned. “I’m not an invalid.”

  “So…” He wasn’t sure what to say as he pressed the swab to the small cut.

  Jo bit her lip and managed not to cry out.

  “Pickles?” He arched one brow as he unrolled the bandage and started wrapping it around her foot.

  She sighed. “Well, I wouldn’t have had to resort to pickles if you had anything edible in your frid
ge. You don’t even have any ice cream! How do you get through the days when everything sucks without some cookies and cream?”

  “There’s plenty to eat in there.”

  Leaning her head back against the cushion, she grimaced. “Yes, but it all has to be prepared, cooked. I, Jo Jackson, do not cook. Knowing me, I’d burn this baby when my stomach caught on fire.”

  He suppressed a laugh. This was one of the first normal conversations they’d ever had. Sure, she’d hurt her foot, but there were no secrets, nothing to turn their moods sour. For the next two months, it was just him and Jo in this big house.

  “Want to know something?”

  He nodded.

  She dropped her voice conspiratorially. “I don’t even like pickles.”

  “Then, why is there pickle juice all over my kitchen?”

  One shoulder lifted in a shrug. “In all the movies and books about women having babies, they crave pickles.”

  “So, you decided to eat something you didn’t even like?” He massaged her non-injured foot.

  “Sounded like a good idea at the time.”

  “You use that phrase a lot, I’m guessing.”

  She smiled a full, heart-stopping smile. “Maybe.”

  “Are you still hungry?”

  “Starved.”

  He studied her for a moment. There were many things he’d held back from the Rockstars Anonymous group, parts of him he didn’t let anyone see. His family—though, Jo knew his mom now. The way he lived a normal life despite the gigantic house. And the fact that he once almost quit music in favor of going to culinary school.

  “Okay, let’s get you back to bed, and I’ll bring some food in.”

  She sat up. “Takeout? Because I hate to break it to you, Daxy, but your fridge is full of green things.”

  “Those are called vegetables. Trust me, there’s plenty of food here.”

  It didn’t escape his notice that she didn’t respond to the trust me part. Instead she reached a hand out. He pulled her to her feet and wrapped an arm around her waist to take weight off the injured foot.

  He got her to her bed and helped her in. “I’ll go cook. You should have a better diet, anyway.”

  She grabbed his arm when he turned to leave. “You don’t have to do all this for me, you know.”

  “I know.” He turned away, but her voice called to him when he reached the doorway.

  “I do trust you.” Her voice was so soft he wondered if he imagined it. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.”

  He sent her a smile over his shoulder and walked out. It wasn’t until he started cleaning up the pickle juice that he realized for the first time, he forgot to be nervous.

  9

  Jo

  “Dax!” Jo called.

  He poked his head in the room. “Something wrong?”

  Her brow furrowed. This wasn’t right, it wasn’t okay. Why had she let him talk her into eating his food instead of takeout?

  “I can’t believe you did this to me.” She stared down at her plate. He’d made pasta with garlic, broccoli, and bell peppers mixed in.

  He crossed his arms. “You don’t like the food?”

  She pointed her fork at him. “Veggies are not supposed to taste good, Dax. That goes against nature. It’s an affront to God, and I will never forgive you.”

  He twisted his lips into a half smile. Something was different about Dax this evening. When he bandaged her foot, there’d been no blushing, no stuttering. It was almost like talking to a friend. Were they friends? He’d opened his house to her, so probably.

  Her words came back to her. I do trust you. She always had. Even when they didn’t like each other, she’d known he was a good guy.

  Just a bit… awkward.

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  She scowled at him. “You’re dead to me.”

  He flashed her another one of his smiles—no longer rare. Maybe she just hadn’t known him before. For all she knew, Dax could be a happy, confident, smiling man when he wasn’t at their rockstar support meetings.

  Though, she doubted it.

  “Are you finished?”

  She nodded and tried to roll from the bed to take her plate to the kitchen.

  Dax’s eyes narrowed. “Stay.”

  “I’m not a dog, Dax.”

  “No,” he said. “But you do need to be on bedrest. Give me your plate.”

  “Why, Dax Nelson, I didn’t know you had a stubborn, demanding side. I kind of like it.” She was testing his patience, she could tell. Finally, she handed him her plate, and he left.

  Her lips tipped up into a smile. He probably hated having her here. Dax was the loner of the group, the guy one would expect to spend all his free time playing video games or doing magic tricks. She snorted at that.

  Her phone buzzed, but she already knew who it was. Noah wasn’t happy with her, even though she’d told him to stay away for the good of his new family. He’d live. Maybe he’d even be grateful when all was said and done.

  Another text came in, and she sighed. But this time, it wasn’t Noah.

  Melanie: Call me asap.

  She couldn’t quell the fear those words from her former publicist brought out. Taking in a calming breath, she dialed Melanie and waited.

  Melanie answered after the second ring. “Jo… It’s going to be okay. We can fix this.”

  “Fix what, Mel? I don’t speak publicist.”

  “You haven’t seen?”

  “Seen what?” Jo shifted to get more comfortable.

  “There are pictures all over the internet of you entering the hospital in that mask you wore.”

  Jo laughed. “Is that all? They couldn’t know it was me.”

  “Except they do.” Melanie sighed. “There are quotes from a valet driver and another picture…” She paused for a moment. “Dax isn’t going to like this.”

  “Why?”

  “It was of the two of you exiting through the parking garage. Now, the media is trying to figure out who the mysterious man with you was and if he’s the father of your baby.”

  Jo had no words. She closed her eyes, knowing as soon as Dax found out… He’d stayed out of the media on purpose, valuing his secret about all else. This wouldn’t stop. And she’d signed an NDA to keep her from revealing the truth.

  “Mel?” She didn’t wait for Melanie to respond. “You said we can fix it. How?”

  “I already have emails sent to my contacts at the bigger media platforms. We’ll schedule you for some remote interviews.”

  “You aren’t my publicist anymore, you know that, right?” Yet, it felt good to have Melanie on her side.

  “Yes, but Devlin is a giant buffoon, and if you went to him for help, he’d high five you for getting laid and tell you all of this will blow over. It won’t.”

  “Whoa, Mel. You really don’t like that guy, do you?”

  “Not after he revealed Noah’s marriage without consulting Noah. He’s young and inexperienced and will only ruin your reputation.”

  Jo looked to the ceiling, unable to believe what she was about to say. “I don’t care about my reputation, Mel. If I were a guy and got someone pregnant outside of a relationship, no one would bat an eye. This pregnancy and the alien baby I’ll eventually hold… it’s not something I’m ashamed of.” Sure, she hated that her entire body ached, that she had to stay in bed and give up her independence.

  But what she hadn’t told anyone was that she kind of liked this.

  So, why had she insisted on hiding it for so long? All her reasons unraveled as if the news getting out set her free, rid her of the fear.

  Melanie was quiet for a long moment. “You’re right. I don’t want you to be ashamed of something so life changing. What if we got Blake to pretend to be dating you?”

  “Um…” She didn’t know why she hadn’t told the rest of the group about the NDA, but maybe it was time. “I sort of can’t say he’s the father.”

  “Of course, you can.”

>   Jo sighed. “I signed an NDA.”

  Silence.

  And more silence.

  Then, a string of curses and a “sorry, Stella!”

  “I know what you’re going to say, Mel, that I shouldn’t have signed.”

  Melanie seemed to calm down. “I wasn’t cursing because of you, Jo. Blake has abandoned you when he’s responsible for this baby too.”

  “Maybe it’s a good thing.” Jo shrugged. “I… I’m used to being on my own. I hate the idea of one day telling my baby his dad never wanted him, but isn’t it better to know now?”

  “It is.” Melanie took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll have a few of my contacts send over some interview questions. So, subject change. Noah is… distraught that you told him not to come.”

  “You knew how he’d be.”

  She imagined Melanie smiling. “Oh yes. The hovering would be intense. And the saying ridiculous things.”

  “Right.”

  “You just need calm.”

  Jo nodded until she remembered Melanie couldn’t see her. “Definitely.”

  “And Dax? How are things at his place?”

  A smile tilted her lips. She hadn’t been there long, but Dax hadn’t bothered her much except to feed her. He’d been… kind. “It’s good.”

  “I’m glad. If you need any of us, you only have to call, and we’ll jump on a plane.”

  “I know.” They’d always have her back.

  “We’ll be in L.A. in a bit over a month, so perfect timing to see little baby Jo come into the world.”

  She smiled at that. Being alone right now was what she needed, but actually having the baby scared her to death, and she’d need her friends. “Sounds good.”

  “Chat soon? We need a Rockstars Anonymous meeting.”

  “Just tell me when.”

  They said their goodbyes and hung up. Melanie didn’t work for the label anymore, but Jo knew she’d help her. That was who Melanie was.

  “Don’t do it, Jo,” she whispered to herself.

  Like she ever listened.

  Moving slowly, as if her brain didn’t agree with her actions, she typed her name into Google. It took only a few seconds before articles appeared.

  Jo Jackson is pregnant!