by Leanne Banks
“We’re not going to keep our relationship professional,” he muttered.
Amanda felt Jack slide his fingers between her thighs, making her wet and swollen.
“Oh, you feel so good in my hands. Were not keeping our relationship professional,” he repeated plunging his finger inside her. “I’m going to fire you,” he said with a rough chuckle.
Her head in a fog, Amanda shivered and clenched around his caressing finger. Fire you. His words penetrated and she blinked, pushing at him. “Fire me!” Her knees wobbled. When she tried to step back, she stumbled.
Jack steadied her. “It was a joke, an exaggeration.”
“You said the word fire,” she told him, and shook her head. “I can’t give up my job. My sisters depend on me. I’ve made my way in life for a long time, and when you and I are done,” she said, hating the hitch in her voice, “I’ll continue to make my way.”
“Reassign,” Jack said, his gaze serious. “Things are different between us, and we can’t go back. You can’t be my assistant anymore. And believe me, that pains me to admit it, because you’re the best damn assistant I’ve ever had. But every time you walk in my office now, I would be thinking about putting you on my desk and saying to hell with—” He stopped and cocked his head to one side, studying her. “You’re blushing. Why?”
Amanda couldn’t believe he’d just spoken her fantasy aloud. “I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.” He lifted his hands to cup her face. “Your cheeks are hot. Tell me what you’re thinking at this very moment,” he said.
She gulped. “I don’t have to tell you.”
“Tell me,” he coaxed.
She sighed. “It’s silly.”
“Tell me.”
Heavens, he was persistent. She looked away. “I used to think about your desk and wonder. . .” She couldn’t finish.
“Wonder,” he continued, his voice deepening in realization. “Wonder what it would be like for me to make love to you on that desk.”
She gave a tiny nod.
Jack groaned and pulled her back into his arms. “Oh, Amanda, stay with me tonight.”
Yes, yes, yes, her body and heart cried. She took a deep breath and swallowed.
“No.”
Seven
“No,” Amanda repeated as much for herself as him.
He went still, clearly unaccustomed to hearing the word no. “No?”
“No,” she said again.
“Why?” he asked, his tone patient.
“Because it’s too soon,” she told him.
. He pulled back and looked at her in disbelief.
“Jack, first I was invisible for over three years, then you wanted me for a few minutes. Then you wanted everything between us strictly professional. Now you want me in your bed.” She blew her long bangs out of her eyes. “You’ve given me whiplash.”
He looked at her for a long moment. “Are you saying I’m fickle?”
“If the size thirteen fits,” she said.
He shook his head and gave a rough chuckle. “You even know my shoe size. I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
She felt a stab of self-doubt. “I hope you’re not disappointed,” she said. “There’s no big mystery here. I’m just a girl from North Carolina.”
“And your shoe size is?” he asked.
“Seven and a half,” Amanda said, and wondered how he could make such a question sound sexy. “Do you realize we’ve never been out on a date?”
Their first date was supposed to be at La Maison Restaurant, which boasted avant-garde French-Mediterranean fare and jazz music. The housekeeper had to cancel at the last minute because her son was sick, so she couldn’t stay with Lilly. They went to Chuck E. Cheese instead, which boasted pizza and dancing bears.
Lilly loved it.
“This is not what I planned,” Jack said above the din of what seemed like a million screaming kids. “A Minnesota Twins game is more peaceful than this.”
“Welcome to the life of the single dad,” Amanda said with a smile. “The cuisine is definitely different.”
“More noise.”
“More purple-fruit-punch kisses,” she told him, nodding toward Lilly, who was swinging from side to side in her booster seat.
He saw the happiness on Lilly’s face and felt something inside him ease. “Good point.” He reached for Amanda’s hand. “I don’t know many women who would put up with this as a first date.”
Amanda eyed him thoughtfully. “Maybe you haven’t been moving in the right circles.”
Maybe not, Jack realized. Her slow drawl slid under his skin, making him wonder for the hundredth time how he could have been so blind where she was concerned. Kate’s comment echoed through his mind again. Amanda would make a great mother, a great wife....
The bears took an intermission break, and Lilly turned around. “Wanna play the favorites game, Daddy?” she asked. “’Manda told me it in the doctor’s office.”
“Okay,” he said, although he was clueless. “What’s the favorites game?”
“You name a subject, then guess each other’s favorites,” Amanda said. “Like favorite color. Lilly, you start. Think of your favorite color and let your dad guess.”
“Pink,” Jack said.
Lilly shook her head. “Purple. Now think of your favorite color, Daddy.”
Jack nodded. “Okay.”
“Red,” Lilly said.
“Blue.” Amanda’s lips twitched.
“Blue,” he confirmed, feeling a buzz when he thought about how much she knew about him. “You knew. Why am I not surprised? Okay, mystery woman, what’s your favorite color? Green,” he guessed.
Amanda shook her head.
“Rainbow!” Lilly said.
“You remembered,” Amanda said and kissed his daughter’s cheek. “That’s right. I can’t pick just one. My favorite color changes with the day.”
They continued with sports, and Jack learned that Amanda once again knew his favorite—fly-fishing. Lilly’s was karate, and he successfully guessed swimming for Amanda. The amused surprise in her eyes made him hungry to know more. Later that night, after Lilly was tucked in her bed, Jack led Amanda into the den, put on a saxophone CD and pulled her into his arms. He continued the favorites game.
“Favorite music,” he prompted.
“Depending on your mood, your favorite is a combination of the hard rock of your youth, and New Age instrumentals to dissolve your tension.”
Curious about her thoughts, he tugged at her hair. “What’s a hard rock mood?”
“Conquest,” she told him with a sensual, knowing look in her eyes. “Hard rock is when you’re out to conquer the world.”
In that case, he should have hard rock on right now, Jack thought, because he wanted to conquer Amanda. “How did you know that?”
“Years of observation,” she muttered.
“And your favorite is—” He swore under his breath. He had no idea. “Classical.”
She pulled back and wrinkled her nose. “Not really. I like Vonda Sheppard and Bonnie Raitt.”
“Okay,” he said, tucking the information in his brain.
“I like The Wallflowers and—” she shook her head “—I’m not sure I’m ready to tell you this. It’s a secret.”
He wondered how she managed to be so innocently sexy. “Then you have to tell. I should know all your “secrets.”
“You’re sure,” she said, looking at him as if she were assessing whether he could take it or not
“I’m sure.”
“Elvis.”
He laughed. “You’re kidding.”
“I’m not. I was indoctrinated at a young age. My mother loved Elvis. She even said she once kissed him after a concert. I believe her, but I’m not sure the rest of the world would. She required us to watch his movies and I remember sighing over his romantic songs.”
“Ah, a romantic,” he said, feeling a rush of cynicism, but forgiving her naiveté. She hadn’t had her heart blow
n apart like he had. A part of him hoped she never would. He lowered his lips to hers and gently took her mouth. Her soft sigh rubbed at his heart. He rested his forehead against hers. “Amanda, you worked by my side day in and day out for years. How did I miss you?”
“Do you want the truth?”
“Yes.”
“There are two theories. One is that an evil witch put a spell on you and blinded you so you couldn’t see me.”
He nodded at that notion, as fanciful as it sounded. His wife could have been the evil witch. “And the other theory?”
Her eyes darkened with doubt. “Maybe I’m better at being invisible than being visible.”
Amanda and Carol skipped their lunch date to shop. Carol’s current love interest was an artist. She wanted a campy outfit so she would fit in at his exhibit. “What do you think of this?” Carol asked, pulling from the rack a loose black dress with abstract colored swirls of pumpkin and eggplant.
“It’s distinctive,” Amanda said, hedging.
“Okay, you’ve given the polite response. What do you really think?”
Amanda winced. “It looks like Lilly got hold of some expired finger paints and painted it. Blindfolded,” she added, thinking Lilly would produce a prettier work.
“You’ve been hanging around three-year-olds too long. When are you going back to work with Jack?”
Amanda’s stomach tightened. “I don’t think I am.”
Carol stuck the dress back on the rack, doing a double take. “Why not?”
“We’re involved,” she said. “Sort of.”
“Sort of,” Carol echoed.
Amanda fanned through another round of dresses to avoid Carol’s intense curiosity. “We’re involved, so he is going to reassign me when I come back to work.”
“Have you gone to bed with him?”
Amanda felt her cheeks heat Things got very warm for them outside her bedroom door every night “No, but he wants to.”
“Then why haven’t you? Isn’t he your dream man.”
“Yes, he’s my dream man.” Amanda’s stomach twisted in another knot. She didn’t feel she could be totally open about her worries to anyone, even Carol. “I’m different from the other women Jack has been involved with. I’m afraid I may disappoint him. I’m not as experienced,” she said quietly, knowing that was a gross understatement
Carol lifted an eyebrow. “Sounds like the fantasy’s different from the reality.”
“In some ways,” Amanda agreed. “I knew him as a boss. Getting to know him as a man is different. He’s still the most exciting man I’ve ever met, but...”
“I’m all for fantasy, Amanda. And fantasy’s easy. In our minds we can make a situation turn out any way we want. It takes real guts and courage to make reality work.” Carol smiled wryly. “Which is why I’m looking for a fantasy dress at the moment.”
“Guts and courage,” Amanda repeated under her breath like a mantra, as she pulled her late-model economy car into Jack’s four-car garage beside his Mercedes. The difference between her and Jack could be sharply drawn even between their cars.
“Guts and courage,” she said again, feeling a shortage of both. Despite the differences between Jack and her, Amanda had a sense of fate about him that went beyond her fantasy. Something inside her told her that he needed her. She wanted, she so wanted, to be his.
Something also told her it wasn’t going to be a smooth road to win Jack’s heart. That was why she’d done everything she could today to bolster her courage. She’d even gone to an extra karate lesson.
Walking through the garage to the kitchen, she cursed her jitters. Jack appeared in the doorway, and her heart stopped.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” he returned. His shirt was open, his hair slightly mussed by his fingers, she guessed, and his eyes held hers. “The housekeeper gave me your message. Karate?”
Amanda nodded, growing more nervous by the moment. She touched her hair. “I took a shower afterward.”
“Did Jeff teach the class?” he asked with strained casual interest.
“Yes, he teaches a lot of the beginner classes.” She paused, thinking Jack couldn’t possibly be jealous of Jeff. “I don’t want him,” she told him, meeting his gaze.
He looked at her for a long, silent moment filled with anticipation, then pulled her against him. “Who do you want, Amanda?” he asked, and kissed her.
Her head began to spin. She inhaled his masculine scent and clung to the strength of his body. She tasted passion and possessiveness in his tongue, and the combination only made her more dizzy.
He pulled back slightly and slid his fingers through her damp hair, changing the angle of her mouth against his. “Answer the question. Who do you want?”
“You,” she said breathlessly, her heart hammering in her chest. “You.”
“When?”
Sliding his knee between her trembling legs, the word was more a sensual demand than question. Fear, excitement and determination battled for control. This was meant to be. She closed her eyes.
“Now.”
The room spun as he swung her into his arms.
He carried her up the stairs to his room, letting her slowly slide down the length of his body while he took her mouth with a dark wanting. His mouth was hot on hers, his chest hard where she clung to him. She barely had time to register each new sensation. She felt his heart beating against her palm, inhaled his clean masculine scent and felt the possessiveness in his hands.
A second seemed to pass and her blouse and bra were gone. Another second, and she felt his hands on her cotton shorts.
Her stomach dipped with arousal and nervousness. She pulled her mouth away and swallowed. “I’m not like the other women you’ve known,” she said, warning him, preparing him for her lack of experience.
His gaze dipped from her face to her breasts and lower. “I’m glad.” He backed up to the bed, sitting down, then boldly took her small breast in his mouth while he pushed her shorts and panties down her hips.
He slid his hand between her legs to where she was wet and wanting. “I want inside you,” he said in a guttural tone. “I want to feel you wet and tight all around me.”
Squeezing her bottom, he pressed openmouthed kisses down her abdomen and thighs. Amanda was a sea of want and nerves, more want than nerves. Jack looked up at her and fell back on the bed, his eyes laser hot with passion.
He urged her knees on the bed and pulled her up, up, up until his mouth took her intimately. Amanda gasped at how he was caressing her. Self-conscious, yet sensually curious, she closed her eyes. His tongue sent a thousand shuddering sensations through her. Amanda swallowed a moan.
Jack gently rolled her on her side and pushed down his jeans. “You’re so sweet,” he muttered. “Touch me, Amanda,” he said, guiding her hand to him.
She would do anything to answer the need in his voice. Amanda stroked him while he caressed her. Burning with an ache for him, she felt her control slip away. She felt the contrast of his soft chest hair and muscular chest against her breasts, his hard thigh sliding between hers. She couldn’t get close enough.
He grabbed a packet from his bedside table and quickly protected her. Poised over her, he pushed her thighs apart and devoured her with his gaze. “Hold on,” he said, then thrust inside her.
Amanda gasped at the invasion, the twinge of being stretched too quickly.
Jack stared at her, his gaze surprised, unsettled. “You’re not—” He broke off when she moved and groaned in pleasure. “You’re so tight, too tight. Oh, Amanda.”
Her body adjusted to his, and she tentatively wiggled. She felt hot, excited and full. Arching slightly beneath him, she licked her dry lips and watched him shudder.
“Amanda, stop.” He clasped his hands around her hips. “You’re not a virgin.”
“I’m not a virgin,” she whispered, feeling the pleasure rise inside her again. “Not anymore. I want to move,” she said, instinctively arching toward him again.
“I want you to move.”
“Not anymore.” The muscles in his arms and shoulders straining, Jack bowed his head and swore. “Okay, sweetheart,” he said and began to pump in long fluid strokes.
Amanda shivered around him. She felt the tension inside her tighten with each movement. Tighter, higher, she was reaching. She felt as if she were climbing to the top of a cliff. If she reached the top, she would fly. She knew it. She stretched, closer, then reached it.
Jack gave a wild groan, his powerful body quaking in and around her. His pleasure washed over her like the tide, and Amanda savored every sensation.
He dipped his head in the hollow of her shoulder, his breath warm on her skin. “Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin?”
Amanda was still savoring him and the rhythmic tension pulsing inside her. Her mind was a delicious haze. “I—I tried. I told you I was different from the other women you knew.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
The hint of disapproval in his voice cut through her euphoria.
He lifted his head and moved slightly away from her. In his gaze she saw distrust.
The warmth drained away from her. Confused, she could only stare at him.
“I don’t want to think that you tricked me.”
Amanda felt a chill. “Tricked you?” she echoed. “How could I—” She swallowed. “Why should I—”
“Some women would try to get pregnant, then surprise me.”
She shook her head in confusion. “Why would I do that? Why?”
“So I would be forced to marry you,” he said. “The way I was forced to marry Sandra.”
Jack rolled to the side of the bed and stared into the darkness.
Shock rolled through her. Amanda couldn’t remember feeling so empty and vulnerable. She could sense his hurt and wanted badly to reach out to him, but he seemed so far away. With trembling hands, she groped for her blouse and shorts. She was so stunned she couldn’t even cry. “I went to see a doctor today and went on the pill. He said I should use another form of contraception for a month, so I got a diaphragm.” She laughed, and the sound was incredibly sad to her own ears. “I had decided I wanted to be with you tonight. It was right to be with you. It had never really felt right before. I put the diaphragm in after karate. It took me a long time. That’s why I was late.”
