by Leanne Banks
Her fingers too numb to allow her to fasten her clothes, she gave up and struggled to her feet. Heaven help her, any minute she was going to cry. “I need to leave. I really need to leave.”
Eight
Jack moved in front of her, naked, strong, his eyes full of regret. He raked his hands through his hair. “Don’t go. I was wrong.”
At a loss, Amanda searched, but couldn’t find any words.
His nostrils flared. “I learned one of your secrets tonight. You learned one of mine. Not many people know Sandra was pregnant before we married. My marriage taught me some lasting lessons. I don’t trust easily. I don’t believe in fairy tales. I don’t believe in happily-ever-after anymore. But that’s no excuse to be harsh toward you.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. Stay.”
It was almost too much for her to comprehend at the moment. Her body was still trembling from making love, and her mind was reeling with what he’d revealed about his marriage. “I—I think it would be better if I go to my room.”
He put his hands on her arms. “Amanda, this was your first time. I’ve been a bastard. Let me make it better. Stay with me.”
She swallowed over the lump in her throat and looked at his big bed. “I don’t think—”
He skimmed his hand down her bare arm and took her by the hand. “This isn’t about sex. Come here. I’ll run a bath for you.”
He led her into his plush master bath, gently urged her into a small brass chair, and turned on the jets to the deep tub. “Stay there,” he said. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
True to his word, he returned clad in a silk robe and carrying a glass of wine. He took off her clothes with the same care he would show a child.
His tenderness made something inside her ease, and she took a deep breath as she sank into the tub. The warm water soothed her body and spirit. Jack handed her the wine.
“Do you want something to eat?”
She shook her head and sipped the wine. “Another first,” she murmured. “I’ve never taken a bath in front of a man.”
He entwined his fingers through hers. “You’re a sexy, warm woman, Amanda. I have to ask. How in the world did you keep from getting sexually involved until now?”
She sighed. “You may not understand this, but the time and the person just never matched up until you. My mother was a single parent, and she depended on me when I was a teenager. I went to college for two years, but I lived at home. Then my mother died, and in order to keep the family together, I couldn’t give Social Services any reason to think I wasn’t the best choice as guardian for my brother and sisters.”
Jack cocked his head to the side thoughtfully, and Amanda felt her heart dip. A simple habit, she thought, but when he did it, she couldn’t remain unaffected.
“You’ve been in Minneapolis for a few years, now,” he ventured.
“I dated some, when I first moved here,” she said. “But every day at the office, there was you. Nobody I met could compare.” She took another sip of wine. “You ruined me.”
His lips twitched. “What about me caught your attention?”
Amanda rolled her eyes. “What didn’t? You already know you’re incredibly good-looking. I was fascinated by your confidence and energy. You were intense about everything you did, and you made things happen. I had never met someone so driven.” She paused, remembering gentler moments. “But I also saw how you helped an employee get into rehab instead of just firing him. I saw you long for your daughter,” she said, her eyes growing misty. “I didn’t stand a chance.”
He cupped her cheek with his hand. “Come back to bed with me.”
Amanda tensed. “I don’t think Lilly should find me in your bed in the morning. It might be confusing for her.”
“Then I’ll come to your room. I’ll set the alarm and leave before she wakes up. I’m not leaving you alone tonight.”
Jack led her to her bed, and Amanda fell asleep in his arms, thinking if this was reality, it was better than all her fantasies.
The following morning, Jack awakened to the sound of his alarm. Quickly turning it off, he watched Amanda sleeping. Her face held the innocence of a child’s, yet he knew from personal experience that she loved like a woman, like no other woman he’d known.
Knowing she’d given him her virginity made him feel protective of her. He would never forgive himself for how he’d treated her when he’d first discovered her inexperience. Even now, he couldn’t believe the force of his reaction to being deceived and caught again. He hated that Sandra’s deception still ate at him.
Amanda was nothing like her, he thought, touching her soft hair. If his heart hadn’t been hollowed out, he could have loved her. He wondered if it was wrong to take her love when he knew he would never love her back. Jack frowned. No fairy tales in his future. When it came to true love, his heart had turned to stone.
“I know this is short notice,” Jack told Amanda as she watched Lilly in the backyard, “but my mother wants to see her grandchild. She’d like us to come for dinner.”
Amanda shrugged. “It shouldn’t be a problem. Lilly took her nap today. I can get her dressed and ready to go with you in no time.”
Jack paused and dropped a kiss on her mouth. “I want you to go with us.”
Amanda’s stomach dipped. “Why?”
“Lilly would be more comfortable, and I think my parents are curious about you. They only know you as my ‘invisible’ assistant.”
Realization hit. “Kate,” Amanda said.
“Kate,” he said with a nod. “And Chloe, and me.
She felt a rush of pleasure at the notion that Jack was talking about her. “I don’t know what to say.”
“That’s easy,” he said with a thigh-melting smile. “Say yes,” he said in a voice that spelled trouble, “to everything I ask.”
“You’re spoiled,” she told him. “You’re used to me being at your beck and call all day long. You’ve grown accustomed to me saying yes.”
“That’s right. Not having you around makes me cranky.”
Amanda’s lips twitched. “Okay. Uncle. I’ll go. Did I thank you for hugging me to sleep last night?”
“No,” he said, seductively crowding her. “It could happen again.”
He was warm and wonderful against her. Amanda felt herself turn to liquid.
“When I look in your eyes, I almost think you would make love to me right here in the kitchen.”
Amanda’s breath stalled and she glanced downward. If her eyes could talk, then they were saying entirely too much. “If you want me to go to your parents I need to get Lilly and me ready.”
“I’ll let you go,” he said, “this time.”
An hour later they pulled up the brick-paved drive to Stuart and Marie Fortune’s impressive two-story stone house overlooking the lake.
“It’s beautiful,” Amanda said. “The setting is so serene.”
“It suits them both,” Jack said helping her and Lilly out of the car.
Marie, a well-groomed, gently aging and attractive woman, opened the door before they’d finished climbing the steps. “Omigoodness,” she said, clasping her hands together. “Lilly, you’ve grown a foot taller.”
Lilly held tight to Amanda’s hand. Literally feeling the child’s tension, Amanda kneeled close to her. “You haven’t seen your nana Fortune in a long time. Look at her smile. It’s just like your daddy’s, and yours, too.”
Lilly peeked up at Marie and gave a shy smile. “She’s pretty,” Lilly whispered.
Marie’s eyes filled with tears, and she reached out to gently embrace her granddaughter. “Thank you, both of you,” she said, looking at Jack and Amanda, “for bringing her to see us. Come in. Dinner’s ready.”
The house was as elegantly tasteful and warm as Marie. Amanda could see Jack’s mother’s personality in the quietly beautiful furnishings. The evidence of family was strong, with photographs displayed of Jack and his brother Garrett at various stages of development.
Altho
ugh Amanda had met Jack’s father, Stuart, at the office, the resemblance between father and son struck her anew. She noticed Stuart was particularly attentive to Marie throughout the evening. At the same time, Amanda thought he seemed somewhat distracted.
After dinner Lilly was still whispering. Jack tugged her hair and whispered something in her ear.
“Here?” Lilly asked.
Jack nodded. “Lilly’s been taking karate, and she’s going to show you a few things she’s learned.”
In her ruffled dress with the purple sash, Lilly balled her small fists and stood in fighting stance, then let out a loud “Kiyah!”
Startled, but delighted, Stuart and Marie applauded, and Amanda fell a little more in love with Jack for helping break the ice for his daughter. After a few more exhibition punches and kicks, Lilly’s whisper was gone.
“Dad,” Jack said, “let’s take a walk in the yard. I want to get your opinion on something. We’ll be back soon,” he said to Amanda and Lilly.
“Business,” Marie said with a glint of worry in her eyes, as her husband and son left the room. “Stuart has been...” Her voice trailed off and she glanced back at Amanda. “That’s fine. It means I get a few extra minutes with my granddaughter.”
Lilly stood quietly twisting her hands for a long moment. Sensing Lilly’s discomfort and Marie’s eagerness, Amanda silently mouthed the word cookie to Marie.
Recognition dawned in her eyes and she nodded. “Would you like a cookie, sweetheart?”
Lilly’s face brightened. “Yes ma‘am. ’Manda says I’m a cookie monster. ’Cept I’m not blue. I just like cookies.”
Marie led them back to the kitchen where she gave Lilly a cookie and received a hug for the small treat. Marie’s eyes were misty as she turned to Amanda. “You’ve done such a nice job with her. Jack told us how sad Lilly was when she first came to his house. I wanted to be here, but Stuart and I were out of the country. Thank you for helping my grandbaby find her sparkle again,” she said and embraced Amanda.
Amanda felt her own eyes burn with emotion. “It was easy to fall for her. I see Jack every time I look in her eyes.”
Marie gave her a searching glance. “You’ve been good for Jack, too. He was so hurt when his marriage broke up. I’ve been worried about him. Maybe with you—”
Amanda’s stomach clenched and she shook her head. “Oh there’s nothing like that. Nothing permanent between Jack and me,” she said, feeling an ache at the truth of her statement.
Marie’s brow knit in confusion. “Are you sure? The way he looks at you...” She shrugged. “Well, whatever you’ve done has worked for my son and my granddaughter, and I’ll always be grateful.”
“It’s been my pleasure,” Amanda said, suddenly realizing that giving up Lilly’s care would soon be a reality and a big part of her wasn’t looking forward to it.
Jack and his father walked in the back door, their faces slightly pensive. Jack looked at Lilly and Amanda and grinned. “Nana found out we have a cookie monster in the family.”
Lilly giggled.
“What have you two been talking about?” Marie asked, walking toward Stuart. “Did one of your stocks take a wrong turn on the market? You look gloomy.”
“I insulted Dad on his golf game,” Jack said. “We haven’t played in a while. Now he’s plotting when to pulverize me on the course.”
Marie put her arm around her husband. “You two!” she said and kissed his cheek.
Amanda saw Stuart cover her hand tightly with his. They clearly loved each other, but something didn’t feel right. She glanced at Jack and saw just a tiny bit of stiffness in the smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“We should leave,” Jack said. “Dinner was great.”
“Oh, no. So soon?” Marie said.
Amanda brushed the crumbs off of Lilly’s hands and lifted her out of the chair. “If you’d like, I can bring Lilly to visit again sometime soon.”
“I would love that. Please call me,” Marie said.
Stuart reached out to shake Amanda’s hand. “It was nice meeting you in a personal setting. Kate and Jack have had nothing but praise for you. Now, I know why.”
Amanda felt her cheeks heat from the attention. “Thank you,” she murmured, and was relieved to feel the cool air on her face when they walked outside to Jack’s car.
Within five minutes Lilly was asleep in her car seat as Jack drove home.
“Your parents are lovely,” Amanda said to Jack.
“They liked you, too. My mother may be ready to erect a statue in your honor since Lilly gave her a hug,” he said tongue in cheek.
Amanda chuckled. “It was a bit much,” she admitted. “But I was impressed. Your parents seem very devoted to each other.”
Jack’s face tightened slightly. “They appreciate what they have. They know how to protect it,” he said, and added, “now.”
Silence followed, and Amanda sensed Jack’s disquiet. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” he said. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? You seem distracted or bothered.”
He shrugged. “No more than usual.”
Amanda disagreed, but said nothing. His tension was so thick she could feel it between them like a thick curtain. She wanted to reach out. She didn’t want him to feel alone, but she didn’t want to intrude, either.
For the rest of the drive home, they were silent. Amanda changed a sleepy Lilly into pajamas and tucked her into bed. After she and Jack dropped kisses on Lilly’s forehead, they walked into the hallway.
Jack seemed as if he carried a heavy weight on his broad shoulders. Amanda knew he was strong. He could handle whatever came his way. He certainly didn’t need her help. In the back of her mind, though, she heard Carol’s message. Reality is harder than fantasy.
“I think everyone counts on you to be sane and strong,” she said softly.
His guarded gaze met hers.
“I know you’re strong, but I’ve watched you and cared about you too long not to know when something is bothering you.” She lifted her hand when his jaw tightened and he opened his mouth. “You don’t have to tell me what it is. I just want you to know that if you get tired of being alone with it, I’m here for you.” Taking her courage in her hands, she stretched up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Good night.”
An hour later Jack prowled his bedroom, restless, nowhere near sleep. After his father had confessed his long-ago affair, Jack had enlisted the help of a trustworthy security consultant to learn if there was, indeed, any threat to his father. He’d received a call today that there might be some suspicious movement in his father’s company’s stock. His father, a true maverick at heart, kept a finger in the Fortune pie and sat on the board, but had spent his life building Knight Star Systems.
The company had been his third child, Jack thought, and his father’s extreme devotion to Knight Star Systems may have caused marital problems. Although his father was still a force to reckon with, the idea that someone was financially stalking him made Jack want to punch something.
He wouldn’t, though. He had learned a man had to use his best defenses in these matters. A clear head would serve him and his father best.
He was concerned for his father. He was bothered by Amanda. He eyed the clock. Midnight. Deciding to grab today’s paper from the den and read it until he fell asleep, he pulled on his robe and left his room. As he passed Amanda’s room, he noticed her light was still on. He went downstairs to get the paper, and on his way back he paused at her door.
Her light was still on, and he knew she would welcome him in her heart if not in her bed. He’d been unable to conceal his turmoil, and that bothered the hell out of him.
He tapped lightly on her door, and entered when she answered. She lay propped against pillows with a book on her lap.
It crossed his mind that she had been waiting for him. Crazy, he thought, but he couldn’t shake the feeling. She reminded him of a candle in the window. He’d never had that kind of w
oman in his life. He’d never thought he wanted that kind of woman in his life. He couldn’t, however, deny the whisper of peace that drifted through him just looking at her.
Jack frowned.
“Was there something specific you wanted or were you just planning to scowl at me?” she asked sweetly.
If he weren’t so restless, he might have been amused. “It bothers me that you can read me so well. I’m not used to having a woman care about me the way you do.”
She nodded. “Would you like me to stop?”
Nine
Amanda’s question stopped him in his tracks. Would you like me to stop? The possibility of her stopping chipped out a small empty place in his chest. It wasn’t his heart, he thought. Surely she couldn’t be affecting his heart. For a moment he wondered if it was an ulcer. Was it possible that sweet Amanda could give him an ulcer?
Her quiet confidence tugged at something deep inside him. She drew him like a candle in the window. Maybe it was time for him to go toward the light instead of away from it.
“No,” he finally said, moving toward her and lifting her hand to his lips. “I don’t want you to stop.”
She tugged him down to the bed and smiled. “Sometimes it was easier loving you in secret.”
“Maybe I need to make it more rewarding.” He checked the title of her book before he pulled it off her lap. Inside the Three-Year-Old Mind? He shook his head. “You’re such a jewel, Amanda. It’s a wonder you haven’t kicked me in the rear.”
“My ankle’s still sore,” she deadpanned. “But I’m sure it will recover.”
He grinned.
She grinned, too, then her expression turned thoughtful. “You are accustomed to beautiful women, Jack. I’m not beautiful.”
