Cronica Acadia

by C. J. Deering

  “I say we attack her,” said Doppelganger.

  “Of course,” said Dangalf.

  “What is the best spell you can cast?” asked Doppelganger.

  “I have a pretty decent fireball.”

  “What is the casting time?”

  “About three to five seconds usually. Depends on how big it is.”

  “How long would it take the broodmother to get down here if we attacked her?”

  “That’s hard to say,” said Ashlyn. “Maybe four or five seconds.”

  “So you could hit her twice with your most powerful spell before she even reached us,” said Doppelganger. “Then I step in and finish her off.”

  “We step in to finish her off,” added Nerdraaage.

  “I can’t hit her from here. I can’t even see her!”

  “Maybe if you go to the top of this tree,” said Doppelganger looking up. “After you cast your spells, climb down the tree while we chop her up.”

  Dangalf put his face into his palms and shook his head. “It might work,” he finally replied. Ashlyn helped Dangalf to the highest branch that would support his weight. She stood next to him, holding his torch and helping him balance. “I don’t see her,” he said.

  “She’s not at the center of the web,” she answered. “You see that black spot at about one o’clock?”

  Dangalf looked about with a frown on his face. The frown turned to terror when he spotted the broodmother. “Oh, shite!” he said.

  She tilted the torch to him, and he took some flame from it. (He had not yet learned to conjure fire.) The flame grew as he cultivated it, but it did not burn him because he had learned to ward himself against fire before he learned any other spells.

  Doppelganger and Nerdraaage watched breathlessly from below as the ball of fire grew. “Oh my gods,” said Doppelganger, verbalizing the amazement of the other Keepers.

  The ball grew to about a foot in diameter, and it grew no more. “Here goes,” said Dangalf. He cast the fireball at the black spot on the web. Two seconds later it exploded on the broodmother and tore one of her legs off. She let out an animalistic scream that shook them all. None had expected a screaming spider!

  “Again!” shouted Doppelganger to the stunned Dangalf. Dangalf began casting another fireball.

  The broodmother was slowed by her missing leg but still crawled quickly toward her attacker in the tree. Doppelganger and Nerdraaage dodged the broodmother’s severed leg as it hit the ground like a tree trunk.

  Dangalf nurtured a new fireball between his hands—six inches, one foot, one and a half feet in diameter. “Look at that,” whispered Nerdraaage in awe. Dangalf cultivated the fireball even bigger. Ashlyn smiled excitedly. Doppelganger pounded excitedly on Nerdraaage’s shoulder.

  The broodmother continued her descent to where the web met the tree where Dangalf stood. His fireball had grown to two feet in diameter. “This is the biggest I’ve ever made,” said Dangalf focused on his fiery creation.

  “I love you!” said Ashlyn.

  And with those words, Dangalf turned instantly to Ashlyn, and his fireball snuffed out. “Get down!” shouted Doppelganger.

  Ashlyn pulled Dangalf toward her and tried to help him down the trunk. The broodmother leapt from the web and landed in the tree. Her long legs stabbed violently at Dangalf and Ashlyn. “Get down,” ordered Ashlyn.

  “You first,” said Dangalf.

  “I can get down easier than you! Get down before I kick you down.”

  Doppelganger and Nerdraaage could only watch. “Be ready,” said Doppelganger.

  Ashlyn dodged the broodmother’s legs. Dangalf climbed down as quickly as he could. The broodmother lashed at him with her legs. One of her serrated legs caught Dangalf’s robe. She pulled him toward her giant gnashing mandibles. Ashlyn stuck a branch between the mandibles before she could bite Dangalf. The broodmother released Dangalf, who fell down through several layers of branches before hitting the ground hard.

  The broodmother’s mandibles crushed through the branch, and she turned on Ashlyn. Ashlyn scampered up to the top of the tree, and the broodmother leapt to the top right behind her. Just before she could impale Ashlyn with a leg, Ashlyn leapt to an adjoining tree. The brood mother leapt after her. This tree was barren, however, and there were no branches to shield Ashlyn. The broodmother pinned her against the trunk of the tree. The giant spider was too fast. As the gnashing mandibles closed in on Ashlyn, she raised her hands defensively. And she saw it. Her spider ring was glowing black. But since things can’t “glow black,” she must have been mistaken. She also thought she heard the ring begin speaking a spider language, but since she was wrong about the glowing black, she could also have been wrong about the spider language. Her friends never saw the glowing black or heard the spider language. But the broodmother did. She released Ashlyn and leapt to the next tree and scampered down it toward the others.

  Dangalf lay prone on the ground. Everything hurt, and the fall had knocked the breath from his lungs. He worried that it would be weeks before he could walk again. And then the broodmother landed on the ground before him, and he scurried behind the nearest tree like a monkey. Her legs darted around the trunk after him, tearing and stabbing him.

  Doppelganger charged the spider’s flank and removed another leg with his axe. She pivoted toward him instantly. Doppelganger took refuge behind his shield, and her legs rained down upon it. It felt as if each leg was a battering ram driven by a team of men. His axe cold not come anywhere near the spider body, and he hacked at her legs, always a split second too late. Oh Alfred, you were right! How he wished he had a good eight-foot glaive now! Or a spear even!

  The broodmother’s strength was overpowering, and Doppelganger was pushed backward quicker than he could retreat. His retreat disturbed smaller spiders that stung at his legs. Nerdraaage ran to his aid and protected Doppelganger’s flank with his torch, but the damage was done. Doppelganger’s legs became paralyzed, and he crumpled to his knees as the broodmother rained blows on his shield. His arm strength waned, and the shield battered his head and shoulder under the spider’s weight. Is this how he would die? Squashed by a bug? The humiliation was almost as painful as the pain.

  The next sound he heard was an explosion, and he collapsed to the ground under the full weight of the broodmother. He could smell burning spider, and he knew it was dead. Dangalf had gotten off another fireball, and it had been a good one.

  Nerdraaage and Ashlyn pulled Doppelganger out from under the spider. “How do you feel?” she asked.

  “Good,” he said. “Considering.” He lifted himself into a sitting position.

  The others cut free and unwrapped the dwarf. He had a thick mane of black hair and a long braided beard. “Drink,” he said faintly. Nerdraaage tipped his wine bag into the dwarf’s mouth, but the dwarf turned and let it stain his cheek. “Beer!” Nerdraaage found the dwarf’s beerskin and lifted it to his mouth. He drank for several seconds.

  When he was done, Nerdraaage smelled the liquid and took a swig himself. Dwarven beer! He had never tasted anything so good in his life. It would be hard to go back to wine.

  “I am of Clan Stonefist,” said the dwarf. “They call me Angus the Young.” The Keepers introduced themselves. Dangalf made Angus a torch, and there was an awkward moment when he handed it to him only to realize Angus had only one arm that was already holding his beerskin. So Dangalf carried two torches.

  They walked Angus to his nearby camp, where he collected his things. Then they walked back to their wagon of spider carcasses. There were still remnants of daylight away from the heaviest canopy of trees. The small spiders gave them a wide berth but did not flee. A thousand octuplets of eyes watched the Keepers who had just killed their great broodmother. “The ring you gave me saved my life,” said Ashlyn to Dangalf. She showed him, and the stone of the spider’s abdomen that had been black was now blood red.

  “One-time use only, I guess,” said Dangalf, regretting he had not bought, could not have
afforded to buy, all the wards and charms and trinkets and artifacts that the mysterious salesman offered. “I’m sure the metal must be worth something.”

  “No,” she said pulling her hand away. “I want to keep it.”

  Angus looked suspiciously on all of them as if there had been some nefarious purpose in their rescue of him. “You have not said your name, lad,” said Angus to Nerdraaage.

  “I said it. It’s Nerdraaage.”

  “That’s only half a name. What is your clan?”

  “I don’t have one.”

  “You’re not strange are you!” Angus suddenly said to Nerdraaage. Ashlyn found this to be hilarious.

  “No,” said Nerdraaage defensively. “At least I don’t think so.”

  Angus relaxed and continued walking. “Aye, well you would know if you were. And I suppose I would too. Why no clan then? Orphaned were ye?”

  “We were all pretty much orphaned in this land,” said Dangalf.

  “Shame, though, when it happens to a dwarf,” said Angus. “You grow up without knowing your people or your ways.”

  “Does he think that we don’t have people and ways?” Ashlyn whispered to Dangalf.

  Angus picked silk off the trees as he walked. The others listened while he told his story to Nerdraaage. “I knew there were spiders in these woods, not so close mind ye, but it was either camp here or travel on to Hempshire and sleep with the humans,” said Angus. He turned back to Dangalf and Doppelganger quickly. “No offense intended.”

  Angus explained he camped off the road not only too deep into the woods but also after drinking too much. He did not awake until he was entombed in the spider silk. He told Nerdraaage that he would make everyone aware of his heroism in rescuing him. Then he turned to the others following, “All of you. The dwarves will know of your friendship!” This was very good news as, if he was sincere, it meant the humans and Ashlyn would not be barred from dwarven towns as Ashlyn and Nerdraaage were barred from Hempshire.

  Angus presented the collection of silk to Ashlyn and said it was enough to make her some nice clothes. “Thank you,” she said, smiling and thinking that she had misjudged the coarse dwarf.

  “Then you won’t have to go about half dressed,” he added.

  “Good haul,” said Angus when they reached the wagon. Dangalf spotted something in one of the larger carcasses. He pulled open its mandibles and tugged on some leather. He struggled a bit but finally pulled out the mystery item that unrolled into tall leather boots bound to each other by twine. They looked good despite the spider’s digestive process or maybe even better because of it.

  “You never know what these spiders might eat,” said Angus. “Always gut them before you sell them.”

  For Dangalf it was a revelation. It had always bothered him when he had killed some monster in Cronica and it dropped loot, such as clothing or a weapon, that the monster had no business carrying. The spider with the leather boots now provided a logical explanation. “Leather,” Dangalf said of the boots. “I can’t wear them.”

  “I can wear leather,” said Nerdraaage.

  “So can I,” said Ashlyn.

  Dangalf looked back and forth between his two leather-loving friends. “Oh, I wonder who he’ll pick,” said Nerdraaage.

  Doppelganger picked up the wagon and started it toward Hempshire with the others following. Ashlyn stepped lively in her new, thigh-high leather boots. “If they fit her so well,” Dangalf explained to Nerdraaage, “they would not fit you at all.” And even Nerdraaage had to admit the boots would not look as good on him.

  XXI

  Angus’s obvious preference for the Keepers was with Nerdraaage first, Doppelganger second, Dangalf third, and Ashlyn last. He spoke almost exclusively to Nerdraaage, but what he had to say was of interest to them all. He had trained in the Red School, as was tradition for his clan, up through the soldier rank. But since losing his arm in battle, he had trained in the Blue School and was now a weaponsmith. He insisted with pride that his loss of arm affected only the speed of his smithing, not the quality. He also promised them all fine weapons made by his own hand if they would visit him in Hammersmith. “We’re going there next!” said Nerdraaage.

  “Your friendship is our honor,” said Dangalf. “I know of your clan. One of the six founding clans of dwarven civilization.” And Angus was greatly impressed and pleased that a human should know something of dwarven history, especially history that reflected well on his clan, and for the remainder of the journey, it was so that Dangalf temporarily replaced Doppelganger as his second-favorite member of the Keepers.

  XXII

  The ancient humans and elves were already fast friends when they came upon the mysterious dwarves. For where the humans had gone outward from their racial home, the dwarves had gone inward, underground and ultimately into the depths of their sacred mountains. One elven joke of particular resentment to the dwarves was that the elves and humans did not even know the first dwarves they met were alive until they dusted one off and he sneezed. The earliest dwarf town, then still outside the mountain, was comprised of the so-called beard clans: Blackbeard, Bluebeard, Brownbeard, Redbeard, and Yellowbeard. When a later group of dwarves appeared and sought to join the town, Bran, the legendary first king of the dwarves, consented. But they would be different from the founding five in that they could not, nor would any future clan, be able to name themselves for their beards. And since they were not of the original five, none of their clan would ever be able to be king. But as the first outsiders to join, they were likewise elevated over the latter clans because all of the royal guards would come from them. And it was thought very wise that the king should be guarded only by those who could not be king themselves. And so this sixth clan was named Stonefist, and it was agreed that they should otherwise be honored with the five royal clans because six is a better number than five. Because as the first builders of this world, the dwarves knew what a perfect number three was and had a likewise affinity for numbers evenly divisible by three. And were there not six peaks of their sacred mountain range? And didn’t these ancient dwarves also believe that the world itself set upon three pillars? Even today a dwarf will say that a foolish or false person sits upon a two-legged stool.

  Cronica Acadia

  XXIII

  Back at Hempshire the town was closed, and Dangalf cast an ice spell over the spider carcasses so as to preserve them. Angus awoke Tolliver, who forgot his anger when Angus took out his fat coin purse. (He wore it in the dwarven style on leather strap around his neck, inside his shirt, safely behind his heavy beard.)

  Angus treated the four to dinner. They ate and drank well, and then Angus introduced them to the pleasures of the pipe and Hempshire’s renowned leaf. “The best thing to ever come from human lands.” He puffed and puffed and passed.

  When Angus learned that his rescuers, save Ashlyn, were still sleeping at the stables, Angus ordered two double rooms. Nerdraaage bunked in Angus’s room, and Dangalf and Doppelganger shared the other.

  Dangalf liked not having to enter this room through the window, but he missed the late-night conversation he would normally have with Ashlyn until one of them, usually her, finally fell asleep. He instead had to settle for reciting from the Cronica Acadia to Doppelganger (who didn’t look interested but didn’t object either):

  “An estranged dwarf, or strange dwarf, is a dwarf who has been disenfranchised from his clan and by extension the entire dwarven race for acts ranging from great crimes like cowardice to multiple crimes of a lesser nature such as thievery. They are not permitted to enter any dwarven town and as such must live in border towns or the wilderness. Any dwarf unsuitable to keep the company of other dwarves is even more unsuitable companionship for humans. Some strange dwarves have even been known to ally with our enemies and as such should be killed on sight as you would kill an orc, and that killing will be considered lawful.”

  Doppelganger closed his eyes as Dangalf read. He had gotten the best sleep of his life on the floor o
f the stable, but sleeping in a bed again, even an undersized one, was a pleasant respite, especially for his spider-bitten legs. He drifted off to sleep pleasantly, to tales of a fantastic world of swords and sorcery, dungeons and dragons, demons and damsels, begettings and beheadings—all the more fantastic because it was real.

  XXIV

  Angus had the Keepers up early the next morning, and they collected their spider bounty, and Bartleby dutifully recorded their latest deed. But Angus insisted on speaking to the shire-reeve in a tone that embarrassed and worried the Keepers.

  When the shire-reeve appeared, Angus presented his own papers by way of introduction, and it showed that he had an honored reputation with the humans as well as membership in the Red and Blue Schools. He then passionately, almost belligerently, lobbied the shire-reeve to reward the Keepers for not only saving his life but also for eliminating the scourge of the broodmother. Though no such reward had been authorized, the shire-reeve on his own authority ordered that the paymaster pay to the Keepers two sovereigns each in addition to their honor and reward for disposing of so many of her despised children. And the Keepers were giddy, even Doppelganger almost, as they received eight shiny gold coins with their silver and copper reward. The gold was deposited with the bank of tank, but each kept a handsome bounty for his or her private purposes. And they weren’t done yet.

  They took the carcasses to the tanner, who paid them for the bodies, from which he harvested the venom sacks and silk glands. It was then that Nerdraaage realized that the beerskin he had bought from the tanner was formerly a venom sack.

  The tanner also slit the bellies open for them, but there was no more loot to be had. Dangalf, hearkening back to the game, thought that was an especially bad drop rate.

  Finally, with only a cartload of spider legs left, they rolled to the back door of The Silent Woman. “What are we doing here?” asked Nerdraaage.