by Lily Ryan
“OMG my father knows we’ve been having sex and he didn’t kill you?”
“No! Maybe, we didn’t get into specifics. Your father knows we have feelings for each other. Of course he didn’t quite say you hate me. In fact, he thinks you like me. A lot.”
“That’s because I do.”
I squeeze her hand. It’s a start.
*
Dinner’s going well so far. Mr. Stone didn’t bat an eyelash seeing me with his daughter. Sitting between her father and I, Samantha apologizes for her attitude and asks for his side of the story.
“Why didn’t you tell us? At least tell me?” She says after he describes the events leading up to him kissing his secretary and moving out.
“I didn’t want to damage your relationship with your mother. I still don’t. She’s been doing a good job of that herself, but I’m not about to lie for her either.”
“So you knew about the affair for months before confronting her?”
“Yes. I didn’t take what was going on in your lives into consideration at the time. I had no idea your brother was having such a hard time, or I might have waited a little longer. It’s best though, that it’s all out there.”
Sam’s eyes fill with tears. “I’m so sorry for being such a bitch. I just, when I saw you and Gina—”
“Shh,” he coos. “It was poor judgment on my part. It never should’ve happened like that. I’m sorry you got caught up in our problems.”
“I love you, Dad.” She leans over and hugs her father for a long time. With closed eyes, he holds his baby girl, looking more content than I remember seeing him in a long time.
Part of me is jealous. This heart-to-heart worked out well for them. I want to have the same happy ending. I want to end the night holding her. Touching her. Kissing her.
I know I promised myself nothing would happen, and I set an expectation with Sam, but now that I’m with her, it’s all out the window. Just like I knew it would be.
“So,” Mr. Stone says, sitting up in his chair and adjusting the dish and utensils in front of him. “I take it you two made up and are back together?”
I stop myself from blurting out “Yes!” Because no matter how much I want it, I don’t knew for sure about Sam.
The color drains from her face. “Not exactly,” she says after looking back and forth between us. “I asked Cole to come because he’s been helping me deal with everything over the last few months, and I needed an objective party.”
“Oh.”
Objective party? Could she make my involvement with her sound any colder or more business like?
“Just to clarify, sir. Does that mean you’d be okay if we were together?” I ask more for her benefit than mine. It’s a show of good faith, I’m trying to give her what she wants, better late than never, no matter tonight’s outcome.
Mr. Stone places his hand over Sam’s. “I explained to Cole, no one is ever going to be good enough for you. But I know Cole’s a good kid. He’s got a good head on his shoulders, and I know that he cares about you. More importantly, if he hurts you, I know where to find him.”
She might think he’s saying it in jest, but between Sam’s father and brother, The pair will cut my balls off if I hurt her.
A smile lights up Sam’s face. “So the age difference—”
“I’m not happy about. At all.” He shoots daggers at me. “But I’m confident Cole will treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve. So if you’re waiting on my approval.” He lets out a long, loud breath. “This is as close as you’re going to get to it. Besides, Cole’s worlds better than that Zane.” The disdain in his voice is punctuated on the last word.
“Is it him or his name that you don’t like?”
Mr. Stone shakes his head. “Who in their right mind would name their kid Zane. Such a stupid name.”
“It’s his nickname, Dad.”
“Point made, he’s too dumb to call himself anything respectable. At least I know Cole here would never look to name his son something stupid like Zane.”
“Dad, I love you so much!” Sam throws her arms around her father.
Her giddiness is contagious. It’s infected me and my mood. It feels good to see them together and know I played some part in making this happen. Regardless of what comes between us, she needed this.
“If you guys will excuse me, I need to run to the ladies room.”
My eyes follow her as she saunters through tables toward the restrooms.
“You can take your eyes off my daughter’s ass.”
Oh fuck! My throat constricts. I snap my gaze right back to Mr. Stone who’s eyes are narrowed on me. “I wasn’t, I mean I—”
“In all seriousness, Cole. It’s good to see you.”
I fill my lungs with air and breathe a little freer.
Chapter 28
Samantha
Cole picked me up from my dorm and we met my father at a local restaurant. The ride back passes quickly. Too quickly. We hold hands as he drives. I wish he’d take a few wrong turns to ensure some extra time together. Happy time where we could just sit in peace and enjoy each other’s company.
I’m terrified at how he’s going to react to what comes next.
“Are you sure we won’t be bothering Charlotte?”
“She said she was going to hang with this guy she likes. Knowing her, that means she’ll either be back very late, or she’s spending the night in his room.”
He lets go of my hand and strokes the back of my neck. His fingers slip under my hair and graze over my skin, making me shiver.
“Does she invite guys to spend the night in your room?”
I hear a hint of disapproval in his voice. He has no real right to ask, but the fact that he did makes me feel good.
“Because if she does and some jerk gets unsavory ideas about you, I’ll have to kill him.”
He cares. And I know it’s shitty of me to be happy about that, but I am. I smile as I answer.
“Take it easy tough guy. We agreed only the guys we’re serious about get to spend the night.”
Relief washes over his face. Until the phrase sinks in. “Does that mean Zane? Does he spend the night?”
My shoulders slump. This is my own fault. I created this. It’s what I wanted. Now I have to answer for it. “No. Zane never spent the night here.”
“I’m sorry. That was shitty of me, but I hate the fucker. He’s like a freaking termite in my brain gnawing away at all the good feelings from tonight.”
“Maybe I could help bring them back.” I take his hand and playfully bump into him every few steps as we walk to my room. “You seem so lost in thought. What are you thinking about?”
He shrugs. “I had a really nice time tonight.”
“The night’s not over.” I tease.
Once the door to my room closes, I grab his shirt and yank him to me with force. I press my lips against his, and let my tongue swipe across his lips. We shouldn’t take things any further. I know this. I should stop it. Instead, I work to get it started.
I unbutton his pants and reach inside. He threads his fingers through my hair as I slide his pants and boxers down his legs, to his ankles. I look up at him as I settle myself on my knees. I’m excited to put all my recent research into practice.
“Sam, you don’t have to.”
I flash him a wicked smile, looking up at him through my lashes, and licking my lips for emphasis. “I know. I want to.”
Before either of us say another word, I grip his shaft and lean forward. I open my mouth and French kiss his mushroom head, then do the same working my way up and down his length. Cole lean’s with his back against the door, sounding like he enjoys every stroke of my hand and tongue.
I switch gears and run my tongue up and down his member before taking his head in my mouth, closing my lips and sucking. Hard. His guttural moans convince me I’m doing the quality job I set out to do. It spurts me on.
Saliva drips all over him as my wet mouth slides up and d
own his dick. His grip on my hair tightens as his hips start to thrust in and out. I shouldn’t like this so much, but I do. Even though I’m on my knees, his reaction makes me feel invincible.
I’ve wanted to fuck your mouth for so long,” He says. “Doing it is so much better than imagining it.”
I cup his balls and roll them in my hand.
“In your mouth?”
I hesitate, not sure what he’s asking. I pause feeling his delicious cock throb in my mouth and understand. I nod my head.
The idea of him filling my mouth with his hot seed turns me on and inspires me to suck and lick him with increased enthusiasm. Cole holds my head still. He thrusts his cock deeper, until his cum shoots to the back of my throat. Once he stops twitching, I lick him clean, taking every drop he has to offer.
Feeling proud of my accomplishment, I stay on my knees a moment and enjoy the satisfied look on his face. Cole reaches down, takes me by the hand and pulls me to my feet. Once I’m steady, his mouth crushes against mine with fervor. Possessing me. I feel like I’ve just been branded, and I love every second of it.
He holds me tight. I miss this. Miss the way our bodies meld together. Miss the smell of him when I breathe. The adoring way his eyes meet mine after an intimate moment. Like I’m his everything. His forever.
I clutch his shirt until my knuckles turn white. Afraid of how this night will end.
“I wanted to do that before we talked. I’ve been thinking about it, and . . .” My eyes drop to the floor, my cheeks warm with color. “Honestly, there’s always porn on around here, so I’ve kind of been paying attention. And imagining doing it to you.”
“So I’m the first guy? You never tried it with Zane?”
Again Zane. My eyes water. If Cole is this upset over Zane, he’s never going to forgive what I did with Hunter. I can’t believe I fucked up the best thing in my life.
Tension surges though my body as I rip myself from his arms, knowing I may never feel the comfort of them ever again. I force myself to do it because if I don’t rip the bandage off, I might never tell him.
I plop down on my bed and sit on it sideways. I lean my back against the wall behind me and hug my knees to my chest, feeling like what I truly am, a frightened little girl.
“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”
I shake my head. “No. I deserve that. Besides, one of us had to bring it up.”
He approaches the bed. “May I?”
“Of course. I just don’t know if you’ll want to be that close to me in a minute.”
Something dark flashes in his eyes. Fan-fucking-tastic. He sits at the edge of the bed with one leg hanging off, his body facing me.
“You want to know why I panicked when you told me how you feel about me? It’s because I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you.”
“Stop.” He rubs my knee. I hate him for being so perfect. For always knowing what I need at the moment. I hate him because with each passing day my feelings for him grow stronger and I’m at a point where I can’t imagine my life without him. “I can’t promise that we will get through this, Sam. But if you keep running away, I know for a fact that we won’t.”
“That’s why it was so much easier to be angry at my father.” I look away. “I mean I know what I saw, and that was before anything happened between us. But then, when you told me it was my mother.” I can’t stop the tears from pouring out of my eyes, no matter how hard I try. “I’m so afraid of being her. Afraid that I’ll do the same thing. I mean I already have, and I’m so sorry, Cole. I don’t know how to fix any of this.” I bury my face in my hands.
“Come here,” He pulls me into his arms.
“Honestly, I don’t know why you’re even here. We weren’t together that long. Why haven’t you given up on me?”
He shrugs and says with a smirk, “I don’t know, masochistic tendencies I guess.”
“That’s not funny!” I cry harder.
“Princess, I’m joking. I’m a big boy. I understand the pitfalls of falling in love and loving someone.”
“You do?”
“Um hmm.”
“Did she hurt you?” I ask, through sniffles.
“Tore my heart in pieces.”
I cringe. He loved someone else. What he feels for me is just a shadow of what he felt for her. I know because there’s nothing like your first true love. Like the love I feel for Cole. Not puppy love, but the kind of love you’d gladly lay your life on the line for.
“Do you still talk to her?”
“From time to time.”
“Who? I don’t remember you ever being serious with anyone.”
“You, Samantha. You have me tripping over myself, and second guessing everything I know. You light up my days, and frustrate my nights. You invade every thought I have. Good and bad. Every time I’m ready to throw in the towel, I see you and I can’t let go. Instead I vow to fight harder.”
“You won’t after I what I tell you.”
He rubs the back of his neck. I wonder if he even realizes this is his tell. That he does it any time he’s stressed or uncomfortable.
“Before you say anything and I fly off the handle, I want you to know no matter what you tell me, it’s not going to change how I feel about you. No matter how I might want it to.” He mutters the last part under his breath.
“Try to understand,” I begin, “Callie’s been a bitch to me for years. Since middle school. She used sit behind me in history and tell me how the world would be a better place if I just kill myself.”
“That was Callie?” Anger in his voice bounces off the cinderblock walls of my room.
“Yes. And then everything she did with Doug. It’s even worse than I first thought. Right before I saw you with her, I found out how she manipulated Doug and Marcus to hurt me.”
“How? That doesn’t even make sense?”
I fill him in on the details the guys shared with Abby and me. “And then they said she’d been asking around about the guy I was seeing. That could only be you. And we didn’t tell anyone. At least I know I didn’t.”
“I didn’t either.” A guilty look settles on his face.
“Are you sure about that?” My stomach churns.
He kisses the top of my head. “Austin saw us,” he whispers. “He confronted me, and while I didn’t volunteer anything, I wasn’t going to lie about it either.”
“So he knew?”
Cole nods. “He wouldn’t tell anyone. He understood I had to be the one to tell Tyler.”
“Do you think its possible he told someone else, like maybe Zane?” I ask remembering how quick and steadfast Zane was to make sure nothing further went on between Hunter and I.
Cole’s jaw tenses along with the rest of his body, “He didn’t tell his fucking brother, or Zane would’ve known better than to go near you.”
“Sorry,” I whisper, swallowing down the lump in the back of my throat. “Minutes after hearing how she was gunning for me, I saw you and Callie kiss. Mission accomplished. She destroyed me by stealing you.”
“She didn’t.”
“It looked like she did, and just thinking that broke the fragile pieces of me that were still together. To see you with any other girl at that time would’ve broken me, but to see you with Callie, there was no coming back.”
“I still don’t understand how you could think that I’d discard you like that. I mean I spent every minute with you I could, and your brother was there.”
“Yes, but I didn’t know where exactly we stood, if we were more of friends with benefits or a real couple, and Tyler kept going on about how whipped your mystery girl had you, I didn’t know if you were trying to prove something to him. In fact, I knew his goal was to go out that night and get laid. He was pissed that you wanted to go to the movies. I thought maybe he convinced you otherwise.”
“I planned to go somewhere after the movies, like to go get coffee or something so we could talk, and I could tell him about us. But no, Sam. I wasn’t out lookin
g to hook up.”
Rehashing that night makes my stomach turn and tumble. I’m nervous and clutch my belly.
“You okay?”
I nod, afraid if I open my mouth I’m going to hurl.
“Sam, you look a little green.”
I hold my hand up, leap off my bed and out of my room. I manage to keep my food down until I get to the bathroom. I barely make it into an empty stall before every last bit of dinner forces itself violently up from my stomach out of my mouth.
When I’m empty and done dry heaving, I rinse my mouth and splash some water on my face. I find Cole waiting outside the bathroom door.
“You okay?”
I nod. “Just feeling queasy since dinner. How about you?”
He shrugs, “I’m fine. Maybe it has more to do with what we’re talking about?”
“Maybe.”
He takes my hand and leads me back to my room. Once we’re settled on my bed again, Cole strokes my back. “Is there more?”
I think he knows. Everything leading up to this suggests he does. there’s no use in lying or trying to hide it any longer. I planned to tell him. I want to tell him. I nod, and push away from him.
“All I wanted was to stop the pain. I mean for a hot minute I was your world, and you were mine, but in the flutter of fly’s wing you were gone.”
He shakes his head.
“I didn’t know that. I just wanted to stop the pain. I went with Abby to a party a few towns over. Hunter was there, Callie’s ex. He seemed like the perfect revenge.” I can’t look at Cole, at the man I love. My stomach churns as I speak and keep my eyes fixed on my wringing hands. “I got really drunk. So drunk, I didn’t care about what I was doing. I acted like the other girls there, and . . .” I close my eyes and breathe.
“Did you fuck Hunter?” Cole interrupts.
I shake my head. “No. Nothing even close to that. We just kind of kissed.”
“Kind of? What the fuck does that mean? Either you did or you didn’t.”
“I did. A lot.” I hold my breath waiting for his reaction. His face is a blank slate, and he doesn’t say anything, so I continue. “Then Zane showed up out of nowhere and—“
“Yeah, I know the rest.” He cuts me off. “You went home with Zane.” Cole’s jaw tenses. His hands are balled up into fists.
