Born in Shame

by Nora Roberts

  room off the right where his mother still liked to sew when she came to visit.

  The kitchen was as big as a barn, and as scrupulously clean as any she'd ever seen. Still, it surprised her to see colored jars of herbs and spices ranged on the counter, and the gleam of copper-bottomed pots hanging over it.

  "Whatever you've got in the oven smells wonderful."

  "'Tis chicken, and needs some time yet. Here, try these."

  He brought a pair of Wellingtons out of an adjoining room and had Shannon frowning. "We're not going to go tromping around in..."

  "More than likely." He crouched down to slip the first boot over her shoe. "When you've got animals, you've got dung. You'll be happier in these."

  "I thought you kept the cows out in the field."

  Delighted, he grinned up at her. "You don't go milking them in the fields, darling, but in the milking parlor. That's done for the night." He led her out the back where he stepped easily into his own Wellies. "I kept you waiting as one of the cows took sick."

  "Oh, is it serious?"

  "No, I'm thinking it's not. Just needed some medicating."

  "Do you do that yourself? Don't you have a vet?"

  "Not for everyday matters."

  She looked around and found herself smiling again. Another painting, she thought. Stone buildings neatly set among paddocks. Woolly sheep crowded together near a trough. Some huge and wickedly toothed machine under a lean-to, and the bleat and squawk of animals not ready to call it a day.

  There was Con, sitting patiently beside the near paddock, thumping his tail.

  "Brie sent him, I'd wager, to see I behaved myself with you."

  "I don't know. He seems as much your dog as hers." She looked over at him as Murphy bent to greet the dog. "I'd have thought a farmer would have at least one or two hounds of his own."

  "I had one, died seven years ago this winter coming." With the ease of mutual love, Murphy stroked Con's ears. "I think of getting another from time to time, but never seem to get around to it."

  "You've got everything else. I didn't realize you raised sheep."

  "Just a few. My father, now, he was one for sheep." He straightened, then took her hand as he walked. "I'm more a dairy man myself."

  "Brianna says you prefer horses."

  "The horses are a pleasure. In another year or two they may pay their way. Today I sold a yearling, a beautiful colt. The entertainment of horse trading nearly balances out the losing of him."

  She glanced up as Murphy opened the barn door. "I didn't think farmers were supposed to get attached."

  "A horse isn't a sheep that you butcher for Sunday dinner."

  The image of that made her just queasy enough to let the subject stand. "You milk in here?"

  "Aye." He led the way through a scrubbed milk parlor with glistening stainless machines and the faint scent of cow and milk drifting through the air. "'Tisn't as romantic as doing it by hand-and I did that as a boy-but it's faster, cleaner, and more efficient."

  "Every day," Shannon murmured.

  "Twice daily."

  "It's a lot of work for one man."

  "The lad at the farm next helps with that. We have an arrangement."

  As he showed her through the parlor, the barn, outside again to the silo and the other sheds, she didn't think one boy would make much difference in the expanse of labor.

  But it was easy to forget all the sweat, the muscle that had to go into every hour of the day when he took her into the stables to show his horses.

  "Oh, they're even more beautiful close up." Too enchanted to be wary, she lifted her hand and stroked the cheek of the chestnut filly.

  "That's my Jenny. I've had her only two years, and she I'll never sell. There's a lass." It took only the sound of his voice to have the horse shifting her attention to Murphy. If Shannon had believed such things possible, she'd have sworn the filly flirted with him.

  And why not? she mused. What female would resist those wide, skilled hands, the way they stroked, caressed? Or that soft voice, murmuring foolish endearments?

  "Do you ride, Shannon?"

  "Hmm." The lump that had abruptly lodged in her

  throat caused her to swallow hard. "No, I never have. In fact, I guess this is as close as I've ever been to a horse."

  "But you're not afraid of them, so it'll be easier for you to learn if you've a mind to."

  He took her through, letting her coo her fill and pet and play with the foals newly born that spring, and watched her laugh at the frisky colt who would have nibbled on her shoulder if Murphy hadn't blocked the muzzle with his hand.

  "It would be a wonderful way to grow up," she commented as they walked back to the house. "All this room, all the animals." She laughed as she stopped at the rear door to toe off her boots. "And the work, of course. But you must have loved it, since you stayed."

  "I belong to it. Come in and sit. I've some wine you'll like."

  Companionably she washed her hands at the kitchen sink with him. "Didn't any of your family want to stay and work the farm?"

  "I'm the oldest son, and when me father died, it fell to me. My older sisters married and moved away to start families of their own." He took a bottle from the refrigerator, a corkscrew from a drawer. "Then my mother remarried, and my younger sister Kate as well. I have a younger brother, but he wanted to go to school and learn about electrical matters."

  Her eyes had widened as he poured the wine. "How many are there of you?"

  "Five. There were six, but my mother lost another son when he was still nursing. My father died when I was twelve, and she didn't marry again until I was past twenty, so there were only five."

  "Only." She chuckled, shook her head, and would have raised her glass, but he stayed her hand.

  "May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and the road downhill all the way to your door."

  "Sliante," she said and smiled at him as she drank. "I like your farm, Murphy."

  "I'm pleased you do, Shannon." He surprised her by leaning down and pressing his lips to her brow.

  Rain began to patter softly as he straightened again and turned to open the oven door. The scents that streamed out had her mouth watering.

  "Why is it I always thought Irish cooking was an oxymoron?"

  He hefted out the roaster, set it on the stove top. "Well, it's the truth that it's more often a bit bland than not. I never noticed myself as a lad. But when Brie started experimenting, and trying out dishes on me, I began to see that my own dear mother had a certain lack in the kitchen." He glanced over his shoulder. "Which I would deny unto death if you repeated such slander."

  "She'll never hear it from me." She rose, too intrigued not to take a closer look. The chicken was golden, beaded with moisture, flecked with spices, and surrounded by a browned circle of potatoes and carrots. "Now, that's wonderful."

  "It's Brie's doing. She started me an herb garden years back, hounded me till I took the time to tend it."

  Shannon leaned back on the counter, eyeing him. "Weren't you a little miffed when Gray came along and beat your time?"

  He was well and truly baffled for a minute, then grinned as he transferred chicken from pan to platter. "She was never for me, nor I for her. We've been family too long. Tom was a father to me when mine died. And Brie and Maggie were always my sisters." He carved off a small slice at the breast. "Not that it's a brotherly feeling I have toward you, Shannon. I've waited for you long enough."

  Alarmed, she shifted, but he'd moved smoothly to box her in, back to the counter. Still, all he did was lift the bite of chicken to her lips.

  And his thumb grazed lightly, seductively, over her bottom lip when she accepted his offer. "It's good. Really." But her chest felt thick, and alarm increased when he skimmed a hand over her hair. She made her tingling spine straighten until they were eye to eye.

  "What are you doing, Murphy?"

  "Well, Shannon." He touched his lips to hers lightly, almost bree
zily. "I'm courting you."

  Chapter Ten

  Courting? Flabbergasted, Shannon gaped at him. It was ridiculous, a foolish word that had nothing to do with her, or her lifestyle.

  Yet it had certainly tripped off his Irish tongue easily. She had to make him swallow it again, and fast.

  "That's crazy. It's absurd."

  His hands were on her face again, fingertips just skimming her jawline. "Why?"

  "Well... because." In defense she moved back, gestured with her glass. "In the first place, you hardly know me."

  "But I do know you." More amused than offended at

  her reaction, he turned back to carve the chicken. "I knew you the minute I saw you."

  "Don't start that Celtic mysticism with me, Murphy." She strode back to the table, topped off her wine, and gulped it. "I'm an American, damn it. People don't go around courting people in New York."

  "That might be part of what's wrong with it." He carried the platter to the table. "Sit down, Shannon. You'll want to eat while it's hot."

  "Eat." She rolled her eyes before closing them in frustration. "Now I'm supposed to eat."

  "You came to eat, didn't you?" Taking on the duties of host, he filled the plate by her chair, then his own before lighting candles. "Aren't you hungry?"

  "Yes, I'm hungry." She plopped down in her chair. After flicking her napkin onto her lap, she picked up her knife and fork.

  For the next few minutes she did eat, while her options circled around in her head. "I'm going to try to be reasonable with you, Murphy."

  "All right." He sliced into the chicken on his plate, sampled, and was pleased he'd done a good job. "Be reasonable then."

  "Number one, you've got to understand I'm only going to be here another week, two at the most."

  "You'll stay longer." He said it placidly as he ate. "You haven't begun to resolve the problems and feelings that brought you here. You haven't once asked about Tom Concannon."

  Her eyes went cold. "You know nothing about my feelings."

  "I think I do, but we'll leave that for now since it makes you unhappy. But you'll stay, Shannon, because there are things for you to face. And to forgive. You're not a coward. There's strength in you, and heart."

  She hated that he was seeing in her things she'd refused to admit to herself. She broke open one of the biscuits he'd brought to the table, watched the heat steam out. "Whether I stay a week or a year, it doesn't apply to this."

  "It all applies to this," he said mildly. "Does the meal suit you?"

  "It's terrific."

  "Did you paint more today, after I left you?"

  "Yes, I-" She swallowed another bite, jabbed her fork at him. "You're changing the subject."

  "What subject?"

  "You know very well what subject, and we're going to clear the air here and now. I don't want to be courted- by anyone. I don't know how things are around here, but where I come from, women are independent, equal."

  "I've some thoughts on that myself." Idly he picked up his wine, considering his words as he drank. "It's true enough that in general your Irishman has a difficult time with seeing women as equals. Now, there's been some changes in the past generation, but it's a slow process." He set his wine aside and went back to his meal. "There are many I'd call mate who wouldn't agree with me in full, but it may be because I've done a lot of reading over the years and thought about what I've read. I feel a woman has rights same as a man, to what he has, what he does."

  "That's big of you," Shannon muttered.

  He only smiled. "It's a step of some proportion for someone raised as I was raised. Now in truth, I don't know just how I'd react to it if you wanted to court me."