Should Have Known Better

by A J McDine

  His gaze darted to the door. ‘Not at all. I’m swamped with work at the moment.’ He gestured to his immaculate desk. ‘You understand, I’m sure. Now if you'll excuse me…?’

  ‘Of course. So sorry.’ Kate picked up her bag and hitched it onto her shoulder. ‘I’ll see you around, then? And thanks again for what you did the other day. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t been there.’

  Chapter Forty-Six

  CHLOE

  Chloe and her grandfather sat either side of the fireplace in the front room, a jigsaw half-completed on the coffee table between them. Max lay at her grandfather’s feet, opening an eye every time his master so much as moved a muscle. It was fair to say Grandpa’s stay in hospital had shaken them all.

  Chloe picked up a piece of sky and looked sidelong at her grandfather. Colour had returned to his pallid cheeks, and he was almost looking himself again. But there was a faint tremor in his hands as he held the jigsaw pieces and he was still a little unsteady on his feet. Chloe knew she had to face the fact he was nearly ninety, and one day he would go into hospital and never come home.

  She chased the thought away. There was enough to worry about without catastrophising about the future. ‘Is that the top of the lamp-post?’ she asked, dipping her head at the piece he was holding between thumb and forefinger.

  ‘You tell me,’ he said, peering at it myopically before handing it to her. ‘Where was your mother off to this morning, all dressed up? Job interview, was it?’

  Chloe clicked the piece into place. ‘She said she was getting her hair done, but I’m not sure that’s the whole story.’

  ‘You think she’s seeing the chap from the hospital?’

  ‘Dr Martinez? I don’t think so. I reckon she’s seeing Adam.’

  ‘Adam?' Her grandfather leaned forwards in his chair, and Max lifted his head.

  ‘You remember, Grandpa. Ben’s dad. You know, the boy I met at Kingsgate Uni open day?’

  ‘Can’t say as I do.’ He leaned back again, and Max rested his head on his paws. ‘Wait a minute, the chap who was here the day I went into hospital?’

  ‘That’s the one. Mum’s got a bit of a thing for him.’ Chloe ferreted in the jigsaw box for another piece of sky. ‘He’s nice. Actually, he’s offered to do something for me that I wanted to talk to you about.’

  ‘Oh, yes?' Her grandfather raised an eyebrow. ‘When a middle-aged man wants to do something for a teenage girl, it usually spells trouble.’

  ‘Oh Grandpa, it’s nothing like that. Adam’s a perfect gentleman.’

  ‘So, what’s he offering to do for you?’

  Chloe scratched her ear with the jigsaw piece. ‘You know I need three As to get into Kingsgate?’

  ‘You’re more than capable of that, m’dear.’

  ‘But am I?’ A memory of the suffocating terror she’d felt in the exam hall on the morning of her economics mock forced its way into her head. ‘What if I have a bad day? What if I don’t get the grades?’

  Her grandfather dropped his jigsaw piece and looked at her. ‘I still don’t understand what this Adam chap has to do with your exam results.’

  ‘He’s old friends with Professor Jan Steel, the head of the law school. They were undergraduates there together. He’s offered to take me to meet her. To have a chat, you know, and to talk about the course and see if she likes me. Adam reckons she might make the offer unconditional if I impress her. I’d still work hard for my exams, but it would take some of the pressure off.’

  ‘In other words you want to use a personal connection to further your career?’

  Put like that it sounded grasping and wrong. ‘Well -’

  Her grandfather chuckled. ‘No need to look quite so hangdog. The idea that some of the biggest business deals are made on the golf course is a cliché, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. Successful businesspeople call it networking. Professor Steel isn’t going to offer you a place if she doesn’t think you’re worthy of one. It simply means she’ll see you as a person, and not yet another name on one of hundreds of admission forms. Like it or not, having contacts does matter.’

  ‘It’s not what you know, it’s who you know,’ Chloe said, looking to her grandfather for confirmation.

  ‘Quite. You’ll probably find she’s impressed you’ve gone the extra mile to connect with her. I think you should take this fellow up on his offer. As long as you’re sure he doesn’t have an ulterior motive.’

  ‘Oh no,’ Chloe said, smiling. ‘He wants the best for me.’

  While her grandfather was napping after lunch, Chloe tapped out a message to Adam.

  I’ve been thinking, and I would like to take you up on your offer to meet Prof Steel if it still stands?

  A reply pinged back almost instantly.

  Of course! Only too happy to help. I’ll ring her now and see when she’s available.

  Happy with her decision to enlist Adam’s help and glad to have her grandfather’s blessing, Chloe grabbed Max’s lead and they headed out for a walk in the woods. Adam called before they’d even left the garden.

  ‘That was quick,’ Chloe said.

  ‘I’ve spoken to Jan and she’d love to meet you. Is Friday any good? She’s suggesting afternoon tea at her office at three o’clock, but it’s going to take us a couple of hours to get down there, so we’d need to leave by one at the latest.’

  Chloe pictured her timetable. She had double history on a Friday afternoon. They’d already finished the syllabus and were only going over old papers. It wouldn’t matter if she skipped a lesson.

  ‘Friday would be great,’ she said. ‘Are you sure you’re all right to drive me? I can easily take the train.’

  Adam’s voice was full of warmth. ‘Don’t be silly. You’d have to go into London and back out again. Anyway, I told Jan I’d be there, too. I’ll pick you up from school at noon, OK?’

  Picking up a scent, Max ran to the bottom of an oak tree and started barking loudly. Chloe pressed the phone closer to her ear. ‘You don’t know how much this means to me.’

  ‘The pleasure’s all mine.’

  Chloe ended the call and slipped the phone into her pocket, feeling happier than she had for a long time. Grandpa was home. Ben had finally stopped hounding her and Adam was going to help her secure a place at Kingsgate University. Picking up a stick, she threw it for Max, feeling as though things were going her way at long last.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  KATE

  Kate stared into the bottom of her coffee cup and wondered if there was something inherently wrong with her. She felt bruised, her already fragile ego in tatters. Adam had been so offhand, so brusque, that she felt discombobulated. Whatever could she have done to cause a slight of such magnitude that he had turned from attentive to indifferent without a single warning sign?

  She gazed out of the café window and thought back to the last time she’d seen him. Their second date, if you could call it that. Pie and mash at the pub. Adam had been courteous and chatty. Perhaps he was just being polite. She picked up a spoon and prodded at the coffee grinds in her cup. No, dammit. He had genuinely appeared to enjoy her company. He’d even volunteered to put in a good word for Chloe with the head of the Kingsgate law school. Why would he offer to go out of his way to help Chloe if not to score points with Kate?

  ‘Penny for them,’ said the plump woman who’d taken Kate’s order at the counter.

  Kate gave a hollow laugh. ‘I’m not sure they’re worth that.’

  ‘Oh, dear. Want to talk about it?’

  Not really, Kate had been about to say. But the woman had kind, crinkly eyes, a motherly bosom and smelt faintly of lavender. And suddenly Kate had a yearning for her own mother. A tear leaked out of her eye and dropped into her empty cup with a blatant plop that neither of them could ignore.

  ‘Sorry,’ Kate sniffed. ‘Man trouble, you know?’

  The woman smiled her understanding. ‘Mind if I join you? Looks like you could use the company,
’ she said, pulling out a chair. ‘I’m Maggie, by the way.’

  ‘Kate.’

  ‘So, Kate, you’ve been playing with your coffee for the last hour and you have a face like a wet weekend. What’s up?’

  Kate gave a rueful grin and set the spoon on the saucer. ‘The man I’ve been dating has gone all cold on me, and I’ve been trying to work out what I’ve done wrong.’

  Maggie stared at her. ‘What makes you think it’s your fault?’

  Kate rubbed her face. ‘I don’t know. I’ve been out of the dating game so long I kind of assumed it must be me.’

  Maggie shook her head. ‘Not so. And even if you had done something to upset this man of yours, why wouldn’t he tell you?’

  An image of Adam’s ordered, perfect desk popped into Kate’s head and it struck her that it reflected his personality to a tee. He was the personification of cool and in control. Detached and even, dare she admit it, uptight. The most animated she’d seen him was in the wine bar when he’d railed against his ex-wife, Daisy. Only then had she glimpsed a hint of passion beneath his closed-book exterior.

  Not like Noah the beach bum, who’d radiated warmth and fun and who she’d felt closer to in one night than she had in the six months she’d known Adam. Perhaps it was easier when you were nineteen.

  ‘Kate?’

  ‘You’re right. I haven’t done anything wrong. And do you know something else? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life tip-toeing around a man, worrying every day in case I say or do something he doesn’t like. It’s not worth the aggro. Thanks, Maggie. You’ve opened my eyes to what’s been staring me in the face for weeks, only I was too proud to admit it. Adam isn’t interested in me. Not really. And if that’s the case, I’m not interested in him either.’ She reached in her bag for her purse. ‘How much do I owe you?’

  Maggie’s eyes twinkled. ‘Nothing, my lovely. This one’s on the house.’

  Kate turned the radio up and sang loudly all the way home. A strange mixture of relief and freedom coursed through her veins, as intoxicating as neat gin on an empty stomach. She hadn’t realised how much headspace and energy she’d devoted to Adam over the past weeks and months. It was liberating to put it all behind her. No more checking her phone every five minutes to see if he’d deigned to contact her, no agonising over the contents of a text like a lovesick schoolgirl. She may have been in lust, but she wasn’t in love. He hadn’t broken her heart, and although her ego was a little bruised, she’d soon get over it.

  It may have taken a chance conversation with a friendly stranger, but the scales had finally fallen from her eyes. A man like Adam would never be right for her. He was too dry, too conventional. They were like chalk and cheese. Square peg, round hole. She would feel suffocated by him, and he would be driven crazy by her. If and when she ever did fall in love, she wanted someone who was passionate and fun-loving and not frightened to show their feelings. Someone like Noah.

  She pulled into their drive and parked behind her father’s old estate car. She sat for a while, her eyes closed, and her head against the headrest. She’d set too much store by her chance meeting with Adam, convincing herself that fate had brought them together for a reason. But it was just that, she saw now. A random meeting at a university open day that would never have happened if she’d had one, not two, cups of coffee. In a parallel universe, she and Chloe had never met Adam and Ben. And wouldn’t life be so much simpler?

  It didn’t matter now. It was over. They would be fine on their own, as they always had been. And she would be OK when Chloe finally went to university, too. She had her father, and Rory, and her job. It was more than enough.

  Kate took the keys out of the ignition, gathered her bag and gloves and jumped out of the car. She walked across the gravel to the front door, her eyes firmly on her future. Adam and Ben weren’t important. They never had been. And with any luck, she’d never see either of them ever again.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  CHLOE

  The gunmetal-grey Audi TT was parked, engine idling, on the yellow zigzag lines outside the school gates in the same spot Ben had parked all those weeks ago. Chloe ran over to the passenger door, threw her bag in the footwell and flopped onto the seat.

  ‘Quick, drive!’ she giggled, glancing over her shoulder, half expecting the head of the sixth form to appear waving a fist.

  ‘You did tell them where we’re going?’ Adam said, pulling away with a roar.

  ‘I was going to, but I knew they’d tell Mum, and I don’t want anyone knowing I’m meeting Professor Steel.’

  ‘Are you sure that’s wise?’

  ‘You know I don’t want anyone thinking I’ve bribed my way onto the course. You promised it was our secret,’ Chloe reminded him.

  ‘I did.’

  ‘And you’ll look after me, won’t you?’

  His mouth curved into a smile. ‘Always.’

  ‘How long will it take to get there?’

  ‘A couple of hours. We’ll pick up something to eat at a service station on the way.’

  ‘Cool. I can change in the loos.’

  ‘Change?’

  ‘I brought a dress. I didn’t think jeans would cut it.’ Chloe leaned against the headrest and yawned.

  Adam arched an eyebrow. ‘Late night?’

  ‘I haven’t been sleeping very well. And I’m a bit nervous, to tell the truth. People yawn when they’re nervous, did you know that? I heard it on the radio. I can’t remember why. Something to do with your body wanting to get the oxygen in and the nerves out.’ Another gurgle of laughter. ‘Nervous people talk too much, too.’

  ‘There’s no need to be nervous. Jan’s going to love you.’

  ‘You think so?’

  ‘You’re beautiful, clever, and sparky. What’s not to love?’

  ‘Aw, shucks. Thanks, Adam. You’re pretty cool yourself.’

  He nodded and placed his left arm along the back of her seat. A protective gesture, Chloe thought. The kind of thing a father would do. She kicked off her Converse, drew her legs underneath her and watched the outskirts of the town fly past.

  What would it have been like to have grown up with the standard two parents? When she was little, she’d hardly noticed she didn’t have a dad. She hadn’t known any different. It wasn’t as if she was the odd one out, either. Plenty of her friends had dads who weren’t on the scene. But as she’d grown older, she’d become aware of an ache inside her. An emptiness. A longing. Grandpa and Rory did their best to fill the hole, but it wasn’t the same.

  She looked sidelong at Adam. His right hand rested lightly on the steering wheel as they cruised along in the fast lane. Strong jawbone, dark brown hair flecked with grey at the temples. Delicate, long-fingered hands and surprisingly narrow wrists for someone with such broad shoulders. He was still smiling to himself and Chloe was itching to ask him why. But a sudden shyness caught her tongue. Instead, she took her phone out of her bag and pretended to check for messages, though she kept her eyes on the motorway. Reading in the car made her sick, and there was no way she was going to risk puking all over the TT's beautiful leather interior.

  Traffic was light, and in no time at all, Adam was turning into the motorway services on the M25. Chloe pulled on her shoes and picked up her rucksack. Squeezed in between the textbooks were a navy print dress, a plum-coloured cardigan, a pair of opaque tights and her navy ballet pumps. Plus her hairbrush and make-up bag.

  Adam pulled up and turned off the engine. He jumped out and opened the passenger door before Chloe had a chance to tie her laces. As they ambled across the car park, he touched her arm.

  ‘I’ll grab us something to eat while you change. What d’you fancy?’

  ‘A sandwich and a Diet Coke would be great, thanks.’

  He gave a little bow. ‘Your wish is my command.’

  Chloe stared at her reflection above the sink in the disabled toilet. Mascara and a flick of eyeliner accentuated her blue eyes. Nude pink lipgloss and a touch of blus
her completed the ‘barely there’ look she was aiming for. The kind of make-up that took a good ten minutes to apply but looked as if you weren’t wearing any at all. She brushed her hair upside down, giving it a blast under the hand dryer, so it fell in shiny waves around her shoulders.

  Adam was already in the car and handed her a smoked salmon and cream cheese panini, a paper napkin and a can of Diet Coke that he’d already opened for her. He was such a gentleman.

  ‘Aren’t you having anything?’ she said.

  ‘I’m saving myself for later,’ he said with a mysterious smile.

  Chloe took a long draught of the drink and wiped her chin with the napkin. ‘Are you and Mum going out?’ She couldn’t remember her mum mentioning it, but she didn’t always listen.

  ‘I’m planning a special meal. It’s going to be a big surprise. But I know you won’t tell.’

  ‘’Course not. Anywhere I know?’

  ‘I don’t think so. It’s off the beaten track and rather unprepossessing. Some might even venture to call it austere. But I would argue it has a charm of its own.’

  ‘Sounds interesting,’ Chloe said, biting into her panini. ‘You’d better be careful. I might tag along.’

  ‘You’d be very welcome. Do you want to finish your drink before we get going? I wouldn’t want you to spill it down your lovely dress.’

  ‘Good thinking, Batman.’ Chloe took another slug of Coke, then another, and soon the can was empty.

  ‘Let me take that,’ Adam said, reaching for the can. He crushed it in his hand, wound down the window and lobbed it into a nearby bin.