The First Date: A heartwarming and laugh out loud romantic comedy book that will make you feel happy

by Zara Stoneley

  ‘Oh hell, I feel so responsible, this is partly my fault, if I hadn’t …’

  ‘Bloody hell, Rosie, it’s not your fault! You didn’t know when you arranged to meet him.’

  ‘Maybe he doesn’t actually meet anybody, maybe he just likes chatting and arranging the dates,’ I say glumly.

  Why did I ever decide online dating people I didn’t know was a good idea? Noah was right when he said it wasn’t the way to meet people. Things could have been so much worse for me, what if I’d ended up dating a married man?

  ‘That is immaterial.’ Gemma folds her arms. ‘He shouldn’t even be chatting. I mean an affair doesn’t have to be physical, does it? And what about all those poor women he’s been leading on? It’s disgusting. And to think that’s how they met! What a shit. I’m going to ring Dan now. Don’t worry.’ She pats the back of my hand. ‘Leave it to me, we’ll sort this out. Right, so,’ she rubs her hands together and looks at Noah, ‘you are coming to the barbecue, aren’t you?’

  ‘Er.’

  ‘You forgot! Bloody hell, Noah!’ She is laughing. ‘What’s he like?’

  ‘I didn’t forget!’ He shoots me a quick glance that says it all.

  ‘I bet.’ Gemma has spotted the look. ‘He always comes up with an excuse if I text him, better to just put him on the spot! You will come, won’t you, Rosie? Tomorrow? Nothing formal, just us, some beers and burgers, and I promise Gavin won’t be here!’

  ‘Well.’ I look at Noah, he shrugs. ‘Sure, I’d love to!’

  ‘Great! So,’ she frowns, ‘how did you say you two met?’

  ‘We didn’t!’ Noah says firmly, ‘and you know it!’

  ‘Oh my God, you met on Tinder as well!’ She puts her hands over her mouth, but I can see the laughter in her eyes. They’re dancing with the same kind of merriment Noah often has on his face.

  I laugh. ‘No, we didn’t! Oh my God, Noah on Tinder!’

  ‘Do you two mind discussing me in front of my face?’

  Gemma grins. ‘Not really. Though we can do it behind your back if you want?’ She waits for me to say more.

  ‘It’s complicated.’

  ‘I bet! You’ll have to tell me the whole story over a glass of wine and a burnt sausage! Oh heck, you both need to bugger off, I’m on call and that’s my pager going off. I really hope it’s something easy. I’m so knackered I’m not sure I can do any major putting back together things.’

  ‘You’ll be fine, little sis.’ Noah grins and kisses the top of her head.

  ‘Er you’re a bit sweaty smelly, what have you been doing? Where’ve you been?’ She eyes him up and down.

  ‘Climbing wall,’ I say, when he remains silent.

  ‘Haha, Noah up a climbing wall, that’s hilarious. The man who wouldn’t be seen dead in some pretend, health and safety infected … Hang on, you’re being serious? Really? Wow, you must be keen, big bro! Wow, wow, wow, I am so going to corner you, Rosie, so you can dish the dirt when he’s not listening in!’ She’s still sniggering and saying ‘climbing wall’ and ‘Tinder’ under her breath as she sees us to the door, follows us out and gets into the car. ‘Go and shower, get changed and come back tomorrow – and don’t forget to grab some beers! I’ll let you know what Dan says later. See you tomorrow, nice to meet you, Rosie!’

  I glance at Noah; he doesn’t look bothered, he doesn’t look cross. He shakes his head and winks. ‘Sisters eh?’

  Oh bugger, this is getting complicated though. Awkward. How do I tell her? Obviously, it is dead easy over a burger and sausage to say ‘your brother is giving me lessons in seduction. We met when I got stood up by your mate’s two-timing husband. Then he rescued me from a Great Dane who’d wrapped me round a tree, and that clinched it.’

  Sure, I really am going to say that. Uh oh, weirdo alert. She’ll probably think I’ve created the whole Gavin/Gabe thing and am now going to ruin her brother’s life.

  ‘We better do as instructed then and bugger off, then I better go shopping for burgers and beers or I’ll forget and never hear the last of it. Ready to go?’

  I am, so I say so. I need time to regroup. To think about Dad, Gabe and how on earth I’ve managed to get invited to Noah’s family barbecue.

  We travel most of the way in silence but have just turned into my road when Noah clears his throat. ‘Fancy popping home, freshening up,’ he holds a hand up as though he expects me to object, ‘though you look fine to me, and going out for a drink? I was wondering if you needed some prep before you meet climbing man? I can pick you up in an hour, if that’s enough time?’

  I think this might be a tentative olive branch after he was nasty to me at the top of the wall. ‘You mean Stuart?’

  ‘Him.’

  ‘It’s okay, I don’t—’

  ‘No, it’s fine. I want to help,’ Noah says in his firm, listen to me voice.

  ‘But I’m not going on a date.’

  ‘Oh.’

  To be honest, it was a confidence boost being chatted up and asked out, but I’ve been feeling less and less in the mood for dates lately. There doesn’t seem much point. The only reason I can really think of for doing it is to take my mind off Noah. Which is wrong in many ways. I should be dating for myself, not because of him, and it also isn’t fair on my dates, is it? I can’t even say I’m doing it for a bit of fun.

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘I thought you’d be pleased, at least you can’t accuse me of being too flirty, or tarty, or—’

  ‘I have never accused you of being tarty!’

  ‘Close!’ I say, as he drops me off outside my place.

  ‘How about I do some major grovelling, and throw in a free lesson to make up?’

  I roll my eyes. ‘They’re all free!’

  His cheeky grin is back. ‘Top tips not revealed in my normal curriculum?’

  ‘You’re incredible!’

  ‘So I’ve been told. Not usually before the advanced practicals though.’ His chuckle sets up a warm glow right at the base (and I mean base) of my stomach.

  I shake my head and try to keep a straight face, but it’s difficult. I’m buzzing – on a dangerous high, no substances involved. Who knew a normally sane person (me in case you wondered) could be this high on nothing but hormones and happiness? Not wise.

  ‘An hour is fine. I’ll see you there?’

  Chapter 20

  Okay, I must be totally bonkers. I agreed to getting showered, changed and return to ground zero in an hour after the day I’ve just had.

  Today has been a day of many ups and downs (in all senses of the words), and it’s got me in more of a turmoil than a ride at any theme park could. And I do mean any ride.

  I mean, I’ve been up a scary wall, and down several times (result!), chatted up a guy and got myself a date, practically sucked Noah’s tonsils (still making me feel hot and bothered), and been invited to his sister’s house (giving me palpitations).

  But how could I say no to a Saturday night date, even if it isn’t a proper date? At least I can gaze into a man’s eyes, let his gorgeous rumbling laugh bring out goose bumps on my arms, and remember how his firm, dry lips felt against mine.

  Has to be better than an evening in with a packet of crisps, doesn’t it? Okay, more dangerous, but hey, maybe that shows how far I’ve come. I am willing to face the fear and do it anyway.

  I’ve never forced a kiss on anybody before, not even Robbie. Maybe it has unleashed a new, more powerful side of me that has lurked deep down waiting for its moment. Maybe this is the start of the new me!

  Or maybe I just want a night out.

  ‘Busy day!’ Noah grins.

  ‘That has to be the understatement of the year!’ Oh boy, am I in trouble. Just seeing him has made my pulse rate go into overdrive and my vocal cords to switch to gushy mode.

  He’s too cute. I think kissing him has released some kind of sex hormone in me that is making me want to jump him. I’m on some kind of adrenalin rush that can only have one satisfactory conclusion. />
  ‘Drink?’

  ‘Large one.’ Maybe alcohol will calm me down, take the need to hang on his every word, hang on his arm, hang on his body, away. Or, oh my God, it might just dissolve the shred of inhibition that is remaining, and I will ignore my latest rule. The only rule that is important tonight – no making moves without an invitation.

  ‘Are you okay, you look …’

  ‘Fine, fine, I’m fine. Just a bit … tired.’ I finish lamely.

  ‘You don’t look tired.’ He gazes straight into my eyes. ‘You look incredibly sexy.’

  ‘Oh!’ I squeak. Taking the drink that he pushes my way and taking an unwise gulp. Unwise because it burns its way down my throat and makes me splutter. Unwise because I need a clear head or I will forget my new rule.

  ‘Here.’ He takes the glass from me and puts his hand between my shoulders. Oh boy is it warm. ‘Better?’

  ‘Much.’ Don’t gaze back into his eyes, don’t.

  ‘Let’s make tonight all about how it should feel.’ He puts his hand over mine.

  Help! ‘Let’s not!’

  Oh gawd, that chuckle. I have unleashed that dangerous chuckle. His eyes are alive, I can’t not look into them.

  ‘I want you to let go of your inhibitions like you did at the top of that wall, like you did,’ he leans in closer, ‘when you saw Gavin.’ His finger traces a line down the back of my hand, and I tense. ‘I’m not going to mention him again. This evening is all about …’ he’s even closer. The light citrus-hint of aftershave surrounds us. ‘This evening is all about desire.’

  Oh boy I want to kiss him.

  ‘Right.’ He snaps back into his seat and jolts me back to reality. ‘Let’s get down to business, Rosie. That’s what you’re not paying me for! Extra-curricular activity.’ He winks, but this time the wink isn’t seductive, it’s mate-y.

  Noooo. How does he do that?

  My head, my body cannot cope with this. I’m back on that bloody big dipper ride again.

  ‘We are going to get you chatting people up.’

  ‘Well, I know that, but …’

  ‘Here, now, right now! Speed flirting!’

  ‘I thought you said you weren’t a pimp!’

  ‘I’m not pimping, this is just a bit of light flirting practice. I can rescue you if you need me to!’

  ‘Are you mad?’

  ‘No. Go on. Try. Go up to the bar, I’ll pick a man.’

  ‘Get lost, you are not picking a man out for me!’

  ‘You’ll be fine, I’ll watch you.’

  ‘I don’t want to be watched. You did that with Steve.’

  ‘I did not.’

  ‘Yes, you did, Mr Stalk-y man. You might have put him off dates for life! You definitely put him off dating me.’

  ‘No loss, haha.’

  ‘Don’t be mean, he was nice.’

  ‘Sure, but it doesn’t matter, this is just about technique. I can let you know how it goes!’

  ‘I think I’ll be able to tell how it goes, by whether or not they want more! And that’s spooky, chatting someone up and being assessed is too weird.’ I give him my interrogation look. ‘You’ve not got a marksheet, have you?’

  ‘Yup, approach, one-liners, body language, confidence, all of the stuff I’ve been teaching you!’

  ‘You have not!’ I am worried now, what if he has? I was all prepared in my head for a cosy non-date with him, flirting optional.

  ‘I have, it’s in my head! Think of it as facilitating.’

  ‘Think of it as stalky man! No way, no. I am not just going up to the bar and chatting some random guy up. And anyway, I did that at the gym with Steve, and I did it at the climbing wall. I—’

  ‘The right people. I don’t want anybody to take advantage, to—’

  ‘I’m not a baby, Noah! This is supposed to be about fun, about getting a date, having fun like you do.’ It’s my turn to put my hand over his. ‘Come on, how many dates have you got lined up for the next week? ’Fess up!’

  He looks down at our hands, then back at me. ‘None.’

  ‘None? Oh, come on, don’t mess, tell me!’

  ‘I’m not messing.’ He sits back, sliding his hand out from under mine. ‘I’m free all week actually, you can have as many lessons as you want!’

  ‘Wow. I’m stuck for words.’

  ‘So much me you can’t cope?’

  I want to kiss his dimples, or at least touch them. ‘I meant I’m in shock you’ve not got a date lined up!’

  ‘I wanted some time to myself. It’s exhausting being perfect and sexy all the time, you know!’

  ‘It must be,’ I say drily. ‘Actually,’ I put my head on one side and study him (ignoring the dimples), ‘I think I’m starting to understand you! You’re a bit of a control freak yourself, aren’t you?’ I hold up a hand to stop him talking. ‘Stop right there! I know you’ll say I am, and I admit it. I like control, there, I said it! But so do you. You need to stage things, control the dates, decide when you need to make a quick exit. You,’ I pause, ‘need to control me – that’s why you hated it when I took the initiative and arranged a date with Steve, then chatted Stuart up!’

  ‘Woah, woah, woah, Rosie. You’re overreacting a bit here! I just feel responsible. I started this, so I don’t want you to get hurt, not on my watch!’

  ‘Your watch?’

  ‘Okay, I don’t want it to go wrong.’ He comes back a bit closer, puts a finger under my chin and studies me. ‘There are a lot of pricks about, I don’t want one to use you just to boost his own ego.’

  ‘Is that what you do?’ I ask softly. Knowing it’s not fair to even ask.

  He shakes his head. ‘I try not to hurt anybody, Rosie. I go out with girls who know the rules, who know it’s about having fun.’

  ‘It doesn’t always work like that, Noah. I think they sometimes forget.’

  ‘Maybe that’s why I need a break.’

  ‘Is it?’ I peer more closely at him. Has Noah decided that first-dating his way through life isn’t so perfect after all? ‘Have you, Noah Adams, seen the error of your ways?’

  ‘The only error,’ he grins, ‘is that your glass is empty.’

  ‘My round,’ I say, standing up.

  Luckily the barman recognises me this time, and I’m not standing waving empties at him for ten minutes.

  He smiles. ‘What have you done to Noah? Not seen much of him lately; he used to be a regular feature in here, propping up the bar.’

  ‘Nothing to do with me! I think he’s been busy at work.’

  ‘And there was I wondering if he was settling down.’

  ‘Settling down?’ It comes out as a croak. I open and close my mouth. Has Noah moved on from first-dating? Is he going steady?

  ‘You guys seem the real deal.’

  ‘What? Oh, haha.’ I cackle in relief. ‘You mean us?’ I point at my chest. ‘Us? Me and … Oh God, no. No! No we’re not dating, we’re friends.’

  ‘What a jerk.’

  ‘Jerk?’

  ‘Missing out on a girl like you! If you ever, you know …’ he leans on his forearms on the bar, ‘if you’ve not got a boyfriend, or girl—’

  ‘No! No, no boyfriend, girlfriend, any friend! Sure, great, maybe!’

  ‘Here, I’ll put my number in your phone if you like, just in case you fancy …’

  I sashay my way back to the table and put the drinks down.

  ‘I did say I’d pick the guy for you to chat up!’ Noah shakes his head and raises his glass. ‘Guys like that are …’

  ‘I know, I know. It’s his job, pull a pint, pull a girl.’

  He smiles. It’s like the sun coming out. Really. When he full-on smiles he makes the world seem a better place.

  I expect him to chuckle, but he doesn’t. The smile fades and he looks slightly sad. Serious. His voice is soft, gentle. ‘You’ve got this cracked, haven’t you, Rosie? You really don’t need me anymore; you don’t have a problem chatting anybody up. And if I’m going wit
h you to the party, then there’s no urgency …’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know.’ I match his tone. ‘I haven’t got a clue how to chat up the person I really want to.’ Or whether I would, even if I knew how to. ‘Noah?’

  He nods.

  ‘Can we just forget me chatting anybody up, just have, I don’t know … just have a drink? As mates?’

  He shrugs. ‘I don’t see why not. Could be nice.’

  ‘You can tell me about your sister.’

  The smile comes back then. This time affectionate, not naughty or dazzling. ‘Our Gem, very aptly named! Not that she isn’t a pain in the arse at times, but you know, sisters.’

  I don’t. But I get it, seeing the look on his face. ‘You’re really close, aren’t you? It must be nice.’

  ‘We are, though we don’t always see that much of each other. But I know she’s there for me, and I think she feels the same. Her and Dan make a good team.’

  ‘So, it is possible.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘A happy ever after!’

  ‘Ahh, that.’ He studies his glass, then fixes his attention back on me. It should be unnerving, being inspected so closely, but it isn’t. He raises his eyebrows and gives me a twisted smile. ‘I guess it is, when all the planets align, and all that stuff. Possible, but not very good odds.’

  ‘I guess you can shift them in your favour.’

  ‘But fate has the final word. Another?’

  I nod. Watch him at the bar. Not flirting. Despite the girl who is standing next to him making a comment. It’s odd. He just smiles politely then turns away. I’ve not really watched him when we’ve been out together, but now I think about it he has never flirted with anyone else. Smiled charmingly maybe, been polite. But never messed around, even though we weren’t on dates.

  A man you can maybe trust not to cheat on you, a man who always leaves with the girl he arrives with.

  His long legs covering the ground between us easily, his gaze never shifting from me.

  ‘So, enough about the serious stuff, my lovely Rosie-Posie.’ He puts the drinks down, and this time comes to sit next to me. ‘Shall we resume the lesson of the day? We’ve done the talking to death, so let’s do this bit. Part one,’ he turns so that he’s half-facing me, ‘the smile.’ I nod, the corners of his generous mouth lift. Just enough. ‘The first touch.’ He tucks a tendril of hair behind my ear and sends a delicious shiver of anticipation down my spine. His fingers trail with the gentlest of touches over my cheek, until the tip of his ring finger rests on my lip. He studies my mouth for an age. I dampen my dry lips. ‘Is it okay, if I …?’