Thaddeus Whiskers and the Dragon

by H. L. Burke

  “Perfect.” She smiled. She cast an invisibility spell over herself and crept into the cave.

  Ambrosia walked around instead of over the piles of coins, not wanting their clinking to give her away. In the middle of the cavern flared a bonfire and at its side lounged the dragon. His tail twitched from side to side. A flurry of orange, no bigger than Ambrosia’s fist, darted from behind the dragon and tackled the tail. The fuzzy creature twisted around the swishing tail, biting and batting at it. Ambrosia flinched, waiting for the furious dragon to squash the offending kitten.

  The dragon chuckled, not a mean chuckle, but rather an amused one. He whipped his tail away, sending the kitten rolling across the coins. He then poked the kitten in the belly with his tail tip. The kitten scurried away and hid behind a silver shield.

  They’re playing, Ambrosia realized. But why doesn't the dragon eat him? That's not natural.

  The dragon’s nostrils flared, and he growled. “I smell you! Whoever or whatever you are, I smell you. Leave my cavern and my treasure now.”

  Ambrosia narrowed her eyes. She disliked being ordered about, even by a dragon. She rolled the entire fibrous spell inside the snuff box into a plum sized ball and drew her hand back to toss it onto the dragon. Ambrosia could already imagine him dissolving into a dripping mass of goo and slime.

  The kitten popped its head up and hissed. Ambrosia froze. It couldn’t see her, could it? The dragon sniffed around the piles of gold, his long neck allowing him to examine every corner while remaining seated. The cat flattened itself onto its belly and crawled towards Ambrosia, wriggling its nose.

  “You smell it too, don’t you, Thaddeus?” the dragon asked. “I can’t pinpoint exactly where, but it smells like soap and rosewater. Noxious.”

  Ambrosia bristled. She quite liked the smell of rosewater. Wanting the dragon to look her in the eye as he met his doom, she allowed the invisibility to fade.

  “Dragon, your end is nigh!” she declared, her voice booming through the cave.

  The dragon’s neck whipped back like a cobra preparing to strike, and he growled.

  Confident in the evil magic at her fingertips, Ambrosia smiled.

  Before she could toss the ball, something hit her in the legs. Tiny, needle-sharp claws sank into her stockings. She shrieked and dropped the magic puff. It hit the ground and vaporized a two foot wide circle of gold. Ambrosia had to jump back to avoid the corrosive stuff eating up her shoes.

  The kitten climbed up her legs. Ambrosia could feel its claws poking her skin and shredding her stockings. Yanking up her skirts, she reached for the bothersome creature. She snatched it up. Mission accomplished!

  The dragon lunged for her, jaws open.

  Her first spell lost, she shook the Orb of Containment out of her sleeve and hurled it at the monster.

  The glass sphere hit the dragon full in the face. Rather than shatter or bounce off his scales, the orb swelled, like a bubble growing with great breaths of air. In seconds it had surrounded the dragon. The dragon thrashed within the circular cage. The transparent walls of his prison tightened, growing smaller and smaller, and he shrank with it. Soon the orb rolled upon the floor, once again the size of a cantaloupe but now with a miniature dragon running laps inside of it.

  Ambrosia cackled.

  The kitten bit her finger.

  She yelped and, without thinking, tossed it across the room.

  “Blasted kitten.” She stuck her bleeding finger in her mouth and stooped down to pick up the orb. “I suppose I should’ve brought a spare. My, though, don’t you look lovely in your pretty little bowl.” She snickered at the dragon whose tail swished in futile anger. “I think I’ll keep you like a goldfish,” Ambrosia said. She tucked the orb back into her sleeve. “Now where is that ridiculous kitten?”

  She looked under shields and helmets and inside chests and sacks.

  “Here kitty, kitty, kitty, here puss, here cat!” she called over and over again.

  No kitten appeared.

  “What idiot came up with the idea of domesticating these pointy-eared vermin?” She kicked a diamond tiara to the side and sat down among the piles of gold to sulk. “A rock would make a better pet; at least it would stay put.”

  Time ticked on. She listened for any sound that might betray the kitten’s location. Nothing.

  The bonfire slowly died, leaving her in darkness. She stayed, quiet and still, hoping the kitten would assume her gone and reveal itself. Light from the rising sun crept into the cave.

  Finally she grew tired of waiting. She pulled the dragon under glass out again. “Perhaps I can find something useful to do with you. There has to be a better way to become queen!” She stomped out of the cave and leaped into her basket.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Alone Again

  When the glass orb surrounded Grandious, Thaddeus panicked. Every instinct screamed run, so run he did. He hid in the darkest corner of the cave, squeezing into a crack in the wall. Wedged so tightly he could scarcely breathe, he closed his eyes and prayed that terrible woman wouldn’t find him.

  He listened to her footsteps clinking around the cave. She called to him. His ears flattened, and he forced himself not to move. Every beat of his heart hurt, from the loss of Grandious, from his own helplessness.

  Grandious needs me, he told himself. I need to save him. He would save me. Oh, but I am so small. So very, very small.

  Finally, the cave fell silent. Thaddeus still waited. His eyes fell shut, and he slept. When he woke his stomach growled, and his muscles ached from a night spent stuck like a cork in a bottle. Wriggling out, he looked around the cave. Empty. Only cold, worthless treasure. No Grandious.

  Thaddeus crept out of the cave. The sunlight filtered through the trees, speckling the ground beneath and causing the dew to sparkle like diamonds. Perhaps if he set out looking, he could find and free Grandious.

  But I’m so small, he thought again.

  The kitten threw his head back and expelled a mournful cry.

  “So you’re alone,” a voice said.

  Thaddeus’s back arched, and his fur stood on end.

  A gray shadow slank from the trees. It stood on its hind legs a few feet from Thaddeus.

  “Go away, Snickersnout,” Thaddeus growled.

  The rat rubbed his front paws together. His eyes glinted. “My subjects whispered of a battle here last night. News travels fast on rat feet. I wanted to see for myself if the dragon was truly vanquished.”

  Thaddeus bristled. “He’s not vanquished, just captured.”

  “Captured? And who is going to rescue him? You?” Snickersnout’s sides shook with laughter. “No, captured or dead, the dragon isn’t coming back. And you, kitten? What will you do?”

  Thaddeus’s whiskers drooped. “I don’t know. I would try to rescue Grandious, as I tried to get back to my princess.”

  Snickersnout’s nose twitched. “That’s your problem. Too much trying not enough doing. How long did you try to get home? Five minutes?”

  “No,” Thaddeus snapped. Then he hesitated. He hadn’t made another attempt since that day with the bear. But there had been magic in the way and treacherous wizards. What chance did he have?

  “If you want to make a go at it, my spies say the witch who took him was from the palace. One of them heard her talking to the palace wizard in the mayor’s house. She probably took your pet dragon back to the castle.”

  Thaddeus’s heart sank. Back to the palace where he could not go. He clenched his jaw. “I’ve got to try.”

  There had to be a hole in the magic, or a way around, or over, or under. He couldn’t lose both Grandious and Clarice.

  Thaddeus said a curt good-bye to Snickersnout then bounded into the trees.

  “Do you really think you have a chance, little kitten?” Snickersnout yelled after him. “Go hide in a hole.”

  “You can have the cave,” Thaddeus shouted back. “I have a dragon to rescue.”

  A sense of home burned like a
beacon in Thaddeus’s head. It pushed him forward, keeping his path through the trees straight.

  I’m coming, Grandious. I’m coming, Clarice. I’ll find you. I swear I’ll find you.

  The ground sloped, and the trees thinned. Thaddeus’s pace quickened. He could see the crest of the hill with the blue sky above it. Beyond lay the palace and, within, perhaps both the beings he loved, his princess and his dragon. He leaped over the last few feet, over the top of the hill, only to tumble back, still on the wrong side.

  He shook himself off and flattened to the earth. Creeping forward, he tried again, but again somehow he turned around as soon as he put a paw over the invisible line set by Hermes. Furious, he scurried along the boundary, pushing through here, pouncing through there, looking for any possible way to get across. Finally he collapsed, exhausted, into the thick, cool grass. He panted.

  “Tee hee hee!”

  Thaddeus whirled around at the twittering, wheezing laugh. It sounded a bit like a bird with a bad cold. Snickersnout sat a few feet away, a big grin on his face.

  “Try going through tail first,” he suggested. “No, wait! With your eyes closed, or maybe eyes closed, tail first, whistling a merry tune. Have you tried that?”

  “How long have you been watching?” Thaddeus frowned. He washed his whiskers, hoping to maintain some dignity.

  “Long enough to know it won’t work. That’s magic. I can smell it.” Snickersnout’s nose wrinkled. “Smells like peppermint. Not bad magic, just strong, basic stuff.”

  Thaddeus drew a long breath. His sense of smell was better than most. All he could smell was grass and trees . . . and something like moldy cheese, Snickersnout most likely.

  “No use trying to sniff it out, too. It’s a rodent ability, smelling magic. Gift from a fairy queen after some business with a conch shell and a lion. Long story. I didn’t realize you were up against magic.” Snickersnout darted right through the invisible wall. He turned and looked back. “So, it only stops you? What makes you so special?”

  “The princess loves me.” Thaddeus lowered his eyes, expecting the rat to mock him. “And I love her.”

  Instead of laughing, Snickersnout nodded, his eyes grave. “Ah, love. We rats don’t get much of that. So this wall keeps you from the princess?”

  “From the princess and my dragon. Grandious is on the other side too.”

  Snickersnout skittered to Thaddeus’s side. “I might be able to help you, but I will want something in return.”

  Thaddeus’s mouth dropped open. Snickersnout wanted to help? It couldn't be a selfless desire. No, that wouldn't fit Snickersnout, but what could Snickersnout want from Thaddeus? He swallowed. “Anything,” he agreed.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Clarice Finds Out

  Clarice sat in her father’s parlor watching the hands of the clock. She was certain they had slowed down. Every time the clock ticked, the hands jerked more slowly, as if they’d never reach five o'clock and the end of tea time.

  Her father poured another cup. “So, what do you think of Lady Ambrosia?”

  Clarice took a cookie. “She’s very pretty.” It was the only nice thing she could truthfully say. Sometimes it was hard to be both truthful and kind. Honestly, she couldn’t wait for Ambrosia to leave.

  While Ambrosia might appear kind, Clarice could tell that Ambrosia didn’t like her, maybe didn’t like any children. Clarice could’ve accepted this, but Ambrosia was dishonest in her dislike, pretending to care about Clarice, seeking out her company and saying all sorts of nice things she didn’t really mean. Such behavior insulted Clarice.

  She nibbled on her cookie, but it didn’t taste as good as she’d hoped. It crumbled on her tongue and sat there. She sighed and forced herself to swallow.

  The king gazed at her. “Ah, Clarice, my dear, I miss your smile.”

  She blushed and pushed the corners of her mouth upwards, only to have them droop back down like floppy rabbit ears.

  “Isn’t there anything that I can do to make you smile?” he asked.

  “I want Thaddeus back,” she repeated for what had to be the hundredth time.

  The king’s eyebrows formed a V in the middle of his forehead, as if confused. “Thaddeus? Oh, that was that pet you had a while ago. I don’t see why you are so concerned about an animal. Hermes and I spoke on the matter and agreed what you really need is a mother figure. Wouldn’t that be much nicer than a kitten?”

  Clarice’s jaw dropped. A mother? Was that what the business with Ambrosia was about? And had it truly been Hermes’s idea? He should know better. After all, it was Hermes who had given Thaddeus to Clarice in the first place. He should know how irreplaceable the kitten was.

  Determined to go right to the source of the problem rather than argue with her father, she quietly ate her cookie.

  The servants came to clear away the tea things, and Clarice bade her father farewell. She walked calmly from the room, but as soon as she was well away from the door, burst into a run.

  The princess hurried to the winding staircase of Hermes’s tower. She had to hear from the old wizard himself why he hadn’t brought Thaddeus back and why he had put this ridiculous idea about a new mother into her father’s head. There had to be a reason.

  Keeping one hand on the railing and trying not to look down, Clarice climbed the creaky stairs. She could see light flowing through a square above her. As she came to the last several steps, she heard voices.

  “So you didn’t find the kitten?” Hermes asked.

  “I found him, and he bit me.” Ambrosia’s cold voice sent a shudder through Clarice, followed by a hopeful fear. Ambrosia had found Thaddeus?

  “Well, the dragon under glass is impressive. I’ve never seen a bottled one before–skinned, stuffed and mounted, occasionally petrified, but never bottled.”

  “Be careful with it, Uncle,” Ambrosia said. “If you drop that the glass could break. We can't have him loose in the palace.”

  Clarice stuck her head through the hatch, just up to her eyes. Hermes stood angled away from her. In his hand shone a glass ball with something green twisting and squirming inside. A dragon? That couldn’t be. Maybe a lizard, but not a dragon. Ambrosia sat in a rocking chair on the other side of the workbench. Clarice could only see her high-buttoned shoes, and hopefully that meant Ambrosia couldn’t see her at all.

  Half of her wanted to pop up and demand Ambrosia tell her where she had seen Thaddeus. However, caution won out, and she kept still.

  “I fashioned a few more Orbs of Containment, in case I get another shot at the annoying fuzzball, but I’m not counting on it. I have that idiot, Alaric, watching over the cave. Last time I checked on him, he wasn’t sneezing, which means the cat has probably made a run for it.” Ambrosia’s toe kicked at a dust bunny. “When was the last time you had this room cleaned?”

  Hermes cleared his throat. “I had an enchanted broom that swept for me, but it took up with a mop and–”

  “Never mind.” Ambrosia stood, and Clarice flinched. “I’m through chasing kittens.”

  “But if you don’t bring back her kitten, the princess will not smile, and if the princess will not smile, the king will not marry you.”

  Clarice made up her mind not to smile until Ambrosia had left the palace.

  “There are easier ways to win the king’s hand. The dragon is actually a blessing. Dragon’s breath is the primary ingredient in love potions,” Ambrosia said.

  Clarice flinched. Love potion?

  Hermes stepped towards Ambrosia. “My dear, isn’t that cheating?”

  “All’s fair in love and war, Uncle.” Ambrosia laughed.

  “I’m not sure this is either.” Hermes scratched his head. “I think we should stop. I thought the king would fall in love with you at first sight, but that didn't happen, and with the princess so upset, I don't think it will. I truly think you deserve to be a queen, my dear, but maybe not of this particular kingdom.”

  “I've waited long enough!” Ambro
sia stomped closer to the hatch, and Clarice cowered out of sight. “I saw one silly girl after another capture kings. They get servants who bow to their every whim. They get respect! And why? Because they could bat their eyes more believably than me? What sort of a way is that to choose a queen? I deserve to be queen.”

  The wizard cleared his throat. “Yes, you would make a very strong and capable queen, my dear, but in this case, there is a princess, a little girl, and little girls need love. Do you think you could be a loving mother to her? You don't seem to like her.”

  “Bah! I'll buy her a doll now and then. How hard could motherhood be? Now, about that love potion?”

  “I'm not sure,” Hermes mumbled.

  I need to tell Father, Clarice decided.

  But as her foot landed on the next step of the rickety old staircase, the boards gave out a loud creak. Before she could flee, a hand shot through the hatch and grabbed her by the shoulder.

  Ambrosia hoisted her up into the tower room. She glared at Clarice.

  Clarice frowned back even though her heart raced. She crossed her arms over her chest. “You need to leave the palace. We don’t want you here anymore,” she said.

  Ambrosia raised her eyebrows. “Who is we?” she asked. “All I see is one rude little girl who likes to listen to grown-ups’ private conversations.”

  Clarice stomped her foot, not because she felt like it, but because it was the sort of thing people in books did when they needed to make a point. “You must leave. If you don’t, I’ll tell my father everything. He’ll make you leave after that.”

  Hermes came to stand at Clarice’s side and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Ambrosia, my dear, this has gone too far. All that has happened has changed you, and not for the better. It is obvious that you neither love the king nor get on well with the princess. As your uncle, I must advise you against pursuing this marriage. It will only make everyone unhappy, love potion or no love potion. I would hate to see you unhappy. The princess is right. It is time for you to go.”