Catching Chance

by M. E. Parker

  “Oh, I gotta hear this,” Travis said, laughing and turning his complete attention to me.

  I tapped on my chin with my forefinger. “Let me think. Oh. There was this one time that Chance talked me into sledding down this hill behind my house. I was terrified, but he kept making these chicken noises, so I finally gave in. He was talking all big until the sled started moving. He was screaming like a little girl and saying prayers all at the same time.”

  Travis’ deep laughter bellowed through the restaurant.

  I looked over at Chance to see relief pass over his face. He blinked once. I could tell he was thanking me. “The only reason you weren’t screaming was because you were frozen in fear,” he said, laughing.

  I shrugged. “Oh yeah, well, I’m not the one who pissed my pants.”

  Travis doubled over in laughter and was slapping his knee. “Oh my god, this is priceless. The big bad Chance Wyrick.”

  “Hey, we were like eight years old. And it wasn’t a hill; it was more like a mountain. Nobody had ever attempted it before.” Chance defended himself with a red face.

  “I’m pretty sure we were like twelve or thirteen,” I teased him.

  “Oh my god, we were not. Tell him the truth.”

  Travis couldn’t stop laughing as he pushed Chance in the shoulder. He pretended to wipe tears from his eyes and looked up at me. “You and me. We definitely need to hang out more.”

  He looked over at Chance. “You coming to End Zone tonight?”

  Chance shrugged. “I guess.”

  “Good, ‘cause you need to get laid. My brother here is on a dry spell,” Travis said, as he looked over and winked my way. I tried my best to smile and nod. I hated it though. I hated all of it. “You know what his problem is? He’s too fucking picky,” he continued, looking at Chance. “I’d offer to ask Natalie to fix you up, but I guess that would be awkward.” I knew Natalie was Chance’s ex-girlfriend. I also knew that Travis had been dating her, but it didn’t make the conversation any less uncomfortable.

  Chance’s face turned red. “Yeah. It would be awkward. How many times have I told you that I don’t need you to fix me up? I told you, I’m concentrating on school this semester.”

  Travis shrugged. “That doesn’t mean you can’t get laid.” He looked at me. “Am I right?” I tried to smile and nod again, but I wasn’t sure I was managing very well. “Hey, Andy, you should come out with us tonight.” He slapped me on the shoulder with the back of his hand. “Maybe I can get Natalie to fix you up.”

  I thought about letting it go. I probably should have. I could have just laughed it off and agreed, but I’d promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t hide who I was.

  “Thanks,” I said, “but, that’s not really my thing.”

  Travis furrowed his brow. “What’s not your thing?”

  I shrugged and gave him a small smile. “Girls,” I answered. He still looked confused. So, I explained, “I’m gay.”

  A giant smile spread across his face. “My bad, dude. I didn’t know.” Without skipping a beat, he turned to Chance. “We should hook him up with Mike.”

  I looked at Chance. He looked like he wanted to throw up again. I was terrified that I had just fucked everything up. But he knew. He knew I’d never lie about myself. Never again. I would take his secret to the grave, but I wouldn’t pretend to be straight.

  He clenched his jaw and looked at Travis. “Mike who?”

  “You know Mike. The new physical therapist. He’s a cool guy.” It was funny how straight people always wanted to hook you up with the only other gay person they knew. That kind of thing drove Cameron crazy, but I didn’t care. I knew it was Travis’s way of telling me that he was fine with me being gay.

  Chance blushed. “He’s gay?”

  “Yeah. You didn’t know?”

  Chance shook his head. “That guy’s old.”

  Travis laughed. “He is not. He’s like twenty-five or twenty-six. He just graduated. Besides, from what he’s told me, Andy seems like his type. He’s a totally cool guy.” It was my turn to laugh. Maybe I was wrong. If he knew Mike well enough to know that he had a type, maybe I wasn’t the only out gay person Travis knew.

  Chance looked at me and then back at Travis. “Who the fuck are you? Cupid? Why are you trying to set everyone up?”

  “Chill, brother,” Travis said, laughing. “Why are you acting so weird lately?” Travis looked at me. “Am I wrong? Has he been acting weird lately?”

  I smiled at Travis. “I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure he’s always been weird.”

  Travis burst out laughing. “Dude. You have to start hanging out with us.” He stood up from his chair and slapped Chance on the shoulder. “See you at the meeting.” He turned to me. “Good to meet you, man. Come out with us tonight.”

  I smiled at Travis and nodded before he turned to saunter out of the restaurant. I looked across the table to Chance. He was rubbing his face.

  “Jesus, Chance. I’m sorry if I made that weird for you,” I said, hoping he’d forgive me.

  He looked down at his food and sighed. “You didn’t make anything weird. You were completely yourself. I was the one that was weird. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.”

  I wanted to reach out and hold his hand. I wanted to hug him and tell him everything was fine. But I couldn’t do any of that.

  “Nothing’s wrong with you. Don’t worry about it, okay. I think it was fine. He was super nice and cool. I can see why he’s such a good friend to you.” I tried to make him feel better, but I don’t think he was listening.

  We ate in silence for a few more minutes before he looked at me. “I should probably get going.” I looked at his plate. He’d barely eaten anything. I nodded. “I’ll text you later,” he said, getting up. I nodded again. He picked up his plate and walked towards the trash can. I watched him walk away. He didn’t look back at me. Not even once. I felt sick.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chance

  As I made my way to the Athletic Complex for a team meeting, I couldn’t stop thinking about leaving Andy like I had. It was unforgivable. He was going to hate me. He would probably never talk to me again.

  I felt like I was moving in slow motion as I sat down at one of the tables in the training room. I pulled out my football notebook and began to draw. Travis sat down next to me as the rest of the offensive team streamed in to take their seats.

  Travis nudged me with his elbow. “You okay, man?”

  I nodded as our offensive coordinator walked into the room. He went over some plays that he wanted us to learn for the next season and we watched some game film.

  Honestly, I didn’t hear a word he said. I checked my watch. We’d been in there for nearly an hour. When he clicked off the film and flipped on the lights, he called my name.

  “Wyrick, are you with us today?”

  I cleared my throat and managed to answer. “Yes, coach.” He stared at me for a moment. I was sure he knew I hadn’t paid a bit of attention, but he just nodded and said he’d see us in the morning for strengthening and conditioning. I grabbed my notebook and walked out without saying a word to Travis. He called my name as I walked down the hallway, but I didn’t answer. A few seconds later, I felt his hand on my shoulder.

  “Chance. Wait up.” I looked back at him. He walked beside me in silence as we left the building. I wasn’t sure what to say to him, but I wasn’t worried about Travis. I was worried about Andy.

  Travis tugged my sleeve as we approached a bench in front of the building. “Sit for a second.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t. I’ve got stuff to take care of.”

  “It can wait, dawg. Sit down.” He grabbed my arm.

  I sighed and plopped down on the bench. He looked over at me. “What the fuck? What’s wrong with you?”

  “Nothing,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Man, talk to me. Did I do something? What’s going on?”

  Great, I thought to myself, another
reason to feel guilty. I sighed again. “It’s nothing to do with you, okay? I just have a lot of shit going on. Can we just not talk about it? We’re cool, I swear.”

  Travis bent over and rested his forearms on his legs and clasped his hands together. “No problem. We don’t have to talk about it. We can just talk about something else. Just talk to me. About anything. We don’t do that anymore.”

  I felt like shit. “God, I’m sorry. Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

  He shrugged. “Hell if I know.” We sat there for a second before he said, “Andy seems like a cool guy. Why haven’t you mentioned him before?”

  I sat there quietly. Then I realized—I should have mentioned Andy. I knew Travis’s best friend from back home. His name was Scott, but everyone called him Scottie. He played lacrosse at Duke. I’d met him. He’d come to a couple of Travis’s games. I also knew that part of him hated his father for cheating on his mother more than once. I knew that his favorite aunt had an addiction to pills and that it broke his heart. I knew that he grew up in a white neighborhood and went to a white high school. I knew that, even though his father was black, and his mother was white, he never really felt like he belonged anywhere. I knew all of it, because he’d confided in me. I was his best friend. He’d told me everything. He’d trusted me and he didn’t know the real me. I’d never even given him the chance to know the real me.

  I cleared my throat and said the words. They came out easier than I thought. “I’m gay.”

  Travis leaned into me, pushing my shoulder with his. He let out a breath. “Thanks for telling me.”

  I looked up at him. “You act like you knew.”

  He grinned. “Honestly, I’m just glad you’re not pissed at me. That’s what I’ve been thinking. But I seriously had no clue until today. You looked at me like you wanted to rip my head off when I suggested fixing Andy up with Mike. Are you guys together or is this one of those unrequited love situations?”

  I laughed. “Shut the fuck up. We’re together.”

  He nodded. “That’s cool. How come you never told me?”

  I sighed again. “I don’t know man. I couldn’t even admit it to myself until last summer. Even after that, I tried to pretend it wasn’t true. Then Andy and I reconnected over Thanksgiving. I should have told you. I was just worried that things would change between us.”

  Travis shook his head. “Do you honestly think I care who you want to put your dick into? Wait, is it the other way around?” he asked as a big fat grin spread across his face.

  “Fuck you. Totally none of your business.”

  He lifted his hands in surrender. “Alright. Chill. I’m fucking with you. Seriously man, it doesn’t bother me in the least. Scottie’s gay, you know?”

  If I tried, I couldn’t have wiped the surprise off my face. “Scottie, as in your best friend from back home?”

  He laughed. “Yeah. Super weird, huh? I have two gay best friends. What are the odds?”

  “Jesus, Travis.”

  “I know, right? In my own defense, I had no clue you were gay when I met you.”

  “That makes two of us,” I joked.

  “So, what are you going to do? Are you going to come out?”

  I rubbed my hands over my face. “I don’t know, man. The team.”

  “Fuck the team,” Travis said.

  I shook my head. “My father.”

  He nodded. “I can see how that might be a problem for you.”

  “You think?” I said as a sarcastic laugh slipped from my lips.

  “Whatever you decide, I’m here, dude.” He turned around and pulled me into a tight hug and it took everything I had to keep myself from sobbing on his shoulder.

  When he finally let go, I shook my head. “I should have told you before now.”

  He elbowed me. “Yeah. You should’ve.”

  I nodded and looked down at the ground. He stood up. “I expect you to have Andy at the End Zone tonight. I deserve a real introduction.”

  Looking up at him, I smiled. “I’ll try.”

  He looked back at me as he walked away. “Do or do not. There is no try.”

  I laughed. “That’s excellent advice, Yoda.”

  As I walked towards my dorm, I felt a little lighter. I should have told Travis sooner. My life would have been so much easier for the last year if I’d had someone to talk to. I’d never imagined that it would be that easy, but I should have known. I knew Travis. He was one of the most accepting people I’d ever met. As relieved as I felt, I knew I still needed to fix things with Andy.

  The minute I reached my dorm room, I fell back on the bed and dialed his number.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Andy

  I was lying in my bed with my phone in my hand. As soon as I saw Chance’s name on the screen, I accepted his call. I wasn’t even sure if it had time to ring.

  “Hey. Are you okay?” I answered.

  “Yeah. Yeah, I am. Are you okay?” His voice sounded weird, but I couldn’t tell if it was a good weird or a bad weird.

  I cleared my throat. “Yeah.” I was about to apologize again for the way things went with Travis, but I wasn’t really sorry for telling Travis I was gay. I was sorry for something though, but I wasn’t sure what. Sorry that it was so hard for him. Sorry that he was hurting. Sorry that I may have screwed everything up. I couldn’t make myself say all those things.

  I could hear him breathing. He wasn’t saying anything. I wasn’t sure if he needed to say something to me or if he needed me to say something to him. I finally gave in.

  “Where are you?” I asked.

  “My dorm room. You?”

  “I’m laying in bed.”

  “Oh yeah, what are you doing?” There was a lightness to his voice.

  “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

  “Try me,” he whispered.

  “I’m on a group text with Jen and Beck,” I said, knowing he’d get a kick out of it.

  He burst out laughing. “Jenny and Becky from high school?”

  “Yep.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  I put him on speaker and scrolled back through my texts. “Well, Becky is trying to decide if she wants hair extensions and is sending pictures of possible outfits for tonight. Apparently, they’re driving over to Asheville tonight to some club. Oh, and Jen keeps sending me screenshots from her Tinder feed. I’ve been giving thumbs up or down.”

  Hearing Chance’s laughter float across the phone line made me feel better. “You know you shouldn’t encourage them,” he said through his laughter.

  I shrugged. “Eh, they’re kind of fun, actually.”

  He got really quiet. I started to say something until he cleared his throat. “I came out to Travis today.”

  I immediately sat up and took him off speaker. “Are you okay?”

  He sighed. “Yeah. I’m really good, actually. He was so cool about it. I should have done it a lot sooner.”

  I nodded my head and realized I needed to say something. I swallowed. “I hope I didn’t … I mean, did you feel like you had to because of me? Did he guess?”

  I heard him let out a breath. “Isn’t this the part where you’re supposed to tell me how proud you are or tell me that I’m brave or something?”

  I sighed. “I’m sorry babe, you are brave. You always have been. And I am proud. I just don’t want you to have to rush into anything because of me.”

  “This isn’t about you, monkey, it’s about me,” he said in almost a whisper.

  I felt like an asshole. “God, I’m sorry, you’re right. I’m glad it went so well. I knew I liked him the minute I saw him.”

  “What was it, exactly, that you liked about him?”

  “Well, for starters, he’s smokin’ hot,” I teased.

  “Monkey!”

  I laughed. “I’m kidding.”

  “You are not.”

  “Okay. I’m not. But you’re the only football player I’m interested in.”


  “That’s better,” he teased. “He wants us to meet him for a beer tonight. Are you interested? If not, that’s fine. I know you’re going to Wild Orchid.”

  “No. I’d like to,” I said quickly. “If you want.”

  “We wouldn’t have to stay long. You could go out after.”

  I sighed. I couldn’t tell whether he wanted me to go or not. “Okay, pretend I’m Cam for second. I’d like to go, but I don’t have to. Do you want me to go or not?”

  He laughed. “I want you to go?”

  I sighed again. Do you? Because that sounded like a question. “Okay, when and where?”

  “End Zone. Seven.”

  I hate the End Zone. It’s filled with nothing but football players and fraternity guys.

  “Sounds great!” I said. “I’ll meet you there.”

  I ended the call and screamed as loud as I could, “Cameron!”

  Cam burst through my door about thirty seconds later, out of breath. “Andy. Are you okay?”

  I looked at him and smiled. He was wearing a red silk robe I’d never seen before. His hair was pulled up in a knot on the top of his head. “What’s with the robe?”

  He looked down. “I just threw it on. I was naked. I thought it was an emergency.”

  “It is an emergency. Why were you naked?”

  “I—”

  I interrupted him. “Don’t answer that.”

  “No, I was—”

  “Seriously, Cam. Don’t.”

  “So, what’s the emergency? You look fine.”

  “Chance came out to Travis today and now I’m supposed to go meet them for a beer.”

  He took a few steps into my room. “Wait. Who’s Travis?”

  “His best friend.” Cam had a bewildered look on his face. “Travis James?” Cam shook his head. Still nothing. “Wide Receiver for the Lions.” Seriously, still nothing? “The guy that catches the ball when Chance throws it.” For the love of Dianna Ross, he still has a confounded look on his face. “In football?” I said, through gritted teeth, feeling more frustrated by the second.

  It was as if a light bulb went off over his head. Finally, I thought.