Catching Chance

by M. E. Parker

  Travis shrugged. “Okay, so this guy, Moose, comes to our table. He’s not only a big dumb hillbilly who’s a homophobic racist asshole, but he’s also like the worst offensive linesman in the history of football. Like I mean he couldn’t block a guy if the guy was standing still right in front of him—”

  Cam interrupted and held up his index finger. “Umm … I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name.”

  Travis’s deep laughter wafted through the air. “It’s Travis.”

  “Right. Listen, Travis, I don’t speak football. So, can you move on to the part where he fucks things up with Andy?” Cam nodded his head towards me.

  Travis hooked his thumb towards Cam, still laughing. “This guy’s cool,” he said to me. I shook my head. I should have been telling Cam what happened, but Travis turned back to Cam and kept talking. “Oh right, sorry. So, Andy shows up at the table and my best friend here, who’s obviously an idiot, basically acts like he doesn’t know Andy. Then Moose, being a dick, acts like a dick. Then, Andy gets pissed and walks out.”

  Cam looked up at me like he was about to punch me in the face and I almost wished he would. “You need to leave,” he said, clenching his jaw together.

  Travis speaks up again. “Wait man, he went after Andy to apologize. And not that I blame him, but Andy didn’t want to hear it. So, when Wyrick comes back in the bar, he punched Moose in the face and tackled him right there in the middle of End Zone. It was impressive. I mean, Moose is like three hundred pounds. Well come to think of it, maybe it wasn’t that impressive. He’s a slow motherfucker, like I think a sloth might have quicker reflexes than Daryl White.”

  Cam jerked his head up and looked at me. “Did you really punch Daryl White in the face?”

  I nodded. “I told you, I fucked up. I want to fix it, Cam. I swear,” I begged. I was losing my patience. I was determined to try to talk to Andy again.

  Cam sighed. “You know there’s only one way to fix this and you’re not ready.”

  “I am,” I said simply. I meant it. I was scared as hell, but I meant it. Cam cocked his head. “I am,” I said again, more firmly.

  He looked back and forth between Travis and me and sighed. “Okay. But if you fuck this up again, I will kick your ass. Not even your bodyguard will be able to save you … Even if he does look like a fucking Greek god.” Cam’s eyes grazed up and down Travis’s body.

  Travis laughed and leaned down towards Cam. “If he fucks this up again, I’ll help you kick his ass, myself.”

  “Stop flirting with me. I don’t date football players,” Cam quipped.

  Travis laughed even harder as I looked back and forth between them.

  “Thanks, I feel so supported right now.” I deadpanned before Travis and me followed Cam across the bar.

  I was relieved to see Andy sitting in a round booth in the corner, next to Ben and Jordy. He was concentrating on drinking his beer when Cam called out, “I come bearing gifts, boys.” Cam slid into the booth next to Jordy. “Football players.” He waved his hand. “You can thank me later. Of course, you all know Chance,” he said, wrinkling his nose.

  Andy looked up at me with wide eyes and quickly looked back down at the table. Ben and Jordy barely acknowledged me. They knew I’d fucked things up. I felt terrible as I walked towards Andy, who was sitting on the opposite side of the booth from Cameron.

  Cam patted the seat next to him. “Have a seat, hottie,” he said, ignoring me and looking up at Travis. “Travis, this is Jordy, Ben, and you already know Andy. Travis is the … umm … what do you call it? He’s the one who catches the ball when Chance throws it.” I noticed Andy glaring across the booth at Cam.

  “Wide receiver. It’s so great to meet you, I’m a big fan,” Ben said, smiling. Travis’s laughter carried across the table as he took a seat next to Cam and shook Jordy and Ben’s hands.

  I ignored Ben as he hurled one compliment after another at Travis and knelt down beside Andy. “Hey. Can we talk?” I wanted him to look at me, but he wouldn’t. “Monkey,” I said, feeling tears prickling my eyes again. “Please.”

  He finally raised his eyes to mine. They were flat and void of emotion. “What are you doing here, Chance?”

  I swallowed hard. “I need to talk to you. Can we go somewhere?”

  He shook his head. “I told you I needed time to think. You need to go. You shouldn’t be here. Someone will see you.”

  “I don’t care,” I said, wishing he’d look at me again.

  “You shouldn’t be seen talking to me,” he said.

  I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. “Don’t say that, Andy. Just talk to me.”

  He looked up at me again. He was pissed. “You need to go.”

  I wasn’t going to leave. I wasn’t going to give up. “I’m not leaving.”

  Andy shrugged. “Fine, but I’m not talking to you.”

  “Fine,” I said, wishing he would just look at me.

  “Fine,” he replied as he turned and whispered something in Ben’s ear.

  I stood up on shaky legs and walked over to slide in the booth next to Travis. I would have rather sat next to Andy, but it was clear that wasn’t an option.

  As I sat across the table from him instead, I watched a little blonde waiter come up to Andy wearing a pair of shorts so short they may as well have been underwear. He grabbed Andy’s shoulder and said something in his ear that I couldn’t hear, and Andy laughed. Andy said something in his ear and the little fucker nodded and ran his hand through Andy’s hair before kissing him on the cheek. I wanted to kill him. Travis reached over and squeezed my wrist. It was a warning. I need to calm down.

  The waiter looked up at us. “What can I get you guys?” he yelled over the music. Travis ordered us beers and I tried to ignore the waiter and concentrate on Andy.

  As if he could sense the tension, Cam called out, “Oh my Lordy,” he said, fanning himself. “I believe I might get pregnant just by sitting next to you.”

  Travis’s deep laughter floated across the table. “I hope not. I’m not ready to be a baby daddy.”

  “Seriously, that’s a lot of testosterone and muscle you’ve got going on there,” Cam said, squeezing Travis’s bicep.

  “I like him.” Travis hooked his thumb toward Cameron still laughing.

  Cam cocked his head. “You don’t by any chance have any sort of same-sex curiosity? I mean, I’m always up for some good ole’ fashioned hetero experimentation.”

  “I’m flattered, but I think I’m strictly a vagina man.”

  “Oh Jesus, no need to throw out the ‘v’ word.” Cam made a gagging noise and turned his back towards Travis.

  “Don’t be like that Cammy,” Travis teased putting his arm around Cameron.

  Cameron playfully pushed Travis away. “Okay, the moment has passed. You can stop touching me.”

  Travis’s laughter began to carry through the entire bar. Cameron looked at Travis with a sparkle in his eye. “I think I like you. Yep. We’ll keep you. You’re unofficially one of us now.”

  “I’m honored,” Travis said with laughter in his eyes.

  Everyone at the table was laughing except Andy and me. A smile played on Andy’s lips. I knew that he’d love it that Travis and Cam were hitting it off. I loved it too. I just needed to fix things with Andy. The blonde waiter walked back to the table carrying a tray of drinks. He put a beer down in front of Travis, Andy, and me. Ben looked up at the waiter and the tray that was still full of shooters. “Who ordered shooters?”

  Andy grinned and patted the table in front of him. Ben smiled at Andy. “Well done. What kind?”

  “Lemon drops and they aren’t for you.” I watched as the waiter put down four lemon drops in front of Andy. He smiled up at the cute waiter. “Thanks, Chip.”

  The guy ruffled Andy’s hair. “No driving tonight.”

  “What did I do?” Ben complained.

  “Nothing.” Andy shrugged. “But I’m not sharing.” He glanced up and glared at me before he threw t
he first one back.

  Ben shook his head. “Andy, I’m not sure if you should—”

  Andy interrupted. “Mind your own Britisssh business, Benji,” he slurred. I realized then that Andy was drunk. I’d never seen a drunk Andy before. I think I like drunk Andy. He’s kind of cute and sassy. He must have known what I was thinking because he looked at me again and glared. This time, he narrowed his eyes a bit. I tried to wipe the smile off my face, but I don’t think I managed.

  “Alright then, minding my own business,” Ben teased.

  Meanwhile, the Cam and Travis show continued. If I didn’t know for sure that Travis was straight, I could have sworn they were flirting. At the same time, it was clear to me that Cam was furiously texting with Ben. They would occasionally argue back and forth across the table as they read each other’s texts. But I had no idea what they were arguing about. The argument mostly consisted of Cam saying things like ‘yes’ and ‘just do it’ and Ben responding, saying things like ‘not going to happen’, ‘no’, and ‘hell no’. Jordan sat quietly between them as usual, occasionally asking one of them to switch places with him so that he wouldn’t be in the middle. As usual, they ignored him.

  The next thing I knew, there was a cute, preppy guy with short brown hair standing at our table talking to Andy. I couldn’t understand what they were saying to each other, but I was able to gather that they were in the same Analytical Chemistry class—whatever that was. I was pretty sure cute preppy guy was talking to Andy about some test that they took. Andy had his elbow on the table and had propped his head up with his fist as he listened. He looked across the table to me several times. I was trying to decide how to interrupt them before Travis told me to chill out.

  Andy looked at me for a second and grinned and yelled up to the guy, “That shirt looks good on you, the blue matches your eyes.” Andy looked back at me with a smirk. The little shit was flirting with him on purpose to piss me off. But it wasn’t working. It made me feel good to know that he was trying to make me jealous.

  “My eyes are green,” cute, preppy guy yelled back at him over the music. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. If looks could kill, I would have died as soon as Andy glanced at me.

  “More of a bluissh green,” Andy slurred as he smiled up at the guy and batted his eyelashes. I noticed Ben take that moment to grab one of Andy’s shooters, drink it, and quickly place the empty glass down in front of Andy.

  Andy looked down. “Wait.” He looked over at Ben. “I had three. I drank one and I had three. I only have three, I mean two. Did you drink one?”

  Ben laughed. “No mate, you drank two and now you have two.” Andy looked at Ben, no doubt confused. If I didn’t know Ben, I might have thought he was just having some fun at Andy’s expense. But I knew that he was just trying to keep Andy from drinking too much. Too late, I thought. Andy looked down at the glasses in front of him and then back up at cute preppy guy.

  When I looked at the guy, he was blushing. And worse than that, he was looking at Andy the way I looked at Andy, and I hated it. He reached up and rubbed the back of his head. “Hey Andy, do you wanna dance?”

  Andy smiled at him and hiccupped. “I can’t. I gotta guard my drinks.” Normally, I would’ve felt sorry for the guy. But it was Andy, and I didn’t want him dancing with anyone. Cam and Ben were arguing again. All I wanted was to take Andy home and sober him up so that we could have a conversation. I was about to try to talk to him again, when I heard Cam say, “Just do it.” I looked at Ben and he was furiously shaking his head.

  Ben was holding his phone and Andy grabbed it. “Hey, you got money.” Ben grabbed it back from Andy while he continued to shake his head.

  “Nope,” Ben said, sliding his phone in his pocket.

  Andy narrowed his eyes at Ben. “Yes, you did. That was a Venmo notification. Why’d you get money?”

  “Andy, I have to hit the loo, would you mind?” Ben asked.

  I looked over at Cam. Something was up. I had no idea what Cam was up to with Ben. But I didn’t really care. I just wanted to fix things with Andy.

  Andy stood up to let Ben slide out of the booth and quickly sat back down. He glanced up at me and I offered him a small smile. He shook his head and looked down. He reached for one of the two shooters sitting in front of him and slammed it back. Jordan grabbed his arm. It was obvious he was trying to distract Andy from having another drink. Whatever Andy was telling Jordy must have been hilarious, because Jordan couldn’t stop laughing.

  Travis leaned over. “You should try to talk to him again.”

  I nodded in agreement, but it wasn’t that easy. I knew Andy had no interest in talking to me at that moment. “He doesn’t want to talk right now and if you haven’t noticed, he’s not completely sober.”

  He hit my shoulder with the back of his hand. “Do something bigger then. Ask him to dance.” I looked at Travis. Where the hell did that come from? Is he serious? First, I don’t dance. Ever. Second, if I dance with him, there is no doubt people in the bar would recognize me and take a picture of us before I can even have a meaningful conversation with Andy.

  Before I could tell Travis how crazy his idea was, Ben showed up and knelt on one knee in front of Andy. He glanced at me nervously from the corner of his eye.

  “Andy,” he called out. Andy was still talking to Jordy. It was clear that Andy hadn’t heard him. Jordy pointed at Ben and Andy turned around. He immediately started laughing. “What’re you doing?”

  Ben cleared his throat. “Andy Michaelson, would you do me the honor of giving me this dance?”

  Andy laughed again. “What?” he said. I immediately looked over at Cam, who had a smug look on his face. He had clearly orchestrated this charade.

  “Dance with me, Andy,” he asked again, holding out his hand towards Andy.

  “Quit goofing around,” Andy said through his laughter.

  “Andy, please,” Ben continued. “Dance with me. You love this song.” Sia blared through the speakers.

  Andy looked over at me. I couldn’t help myself—I shook my head once. In my heart, I knew that there was nothing between Ben and Andy, but that didn’t mean I wanted to watch them dance together. Again, it was as if he could read my mind. He knew I’d hate it. He scrunched up his cute nose and looked at Ben.

  “You’re right. I do love this song, why not?” he said smiling at Ben, giving him his hand.

  I watched Ben pull him across the bar to the dance floor. I realized I’d never seen Andy dance before. But there he was, dancing, laughing, having fun with Ben. It’s my punishment, I guess. I deserve it. He deserved to have fun. Ben was giving him something I couldn’t. Ben put his hands on Andy’s waist as they moved to the music. As much as I wanted to hate Ben in that moment, I could only hate myself.

  Travis leaned over. “Are you seriously gonna let that guy dance with your man?”

  “What do you expect me to do about it? I can’t exactly go over there and punch him in the face. He’s a friend of Andy’s.”

  “He might be a friend, but he’s a cute friend, with dimples, and a British accent. I don’t know how it works with guys, but that kind of combination makes a girl take off her panties for no reason.”

  Cam leaned over. “It works the same for guys, just in case you were wondering.”

  I glared at Cam. “Thanks for your input. I think you’ve helped enough tonight.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m just sayin’.”

  “There’s no way I’d let Nat dance with that guy—when he’s all ‘would you do the honor of giving me this dance?’ Hell-to-the-no.” If I wasn’t so irritated, I might’ve laughed at Travis’s attempt at a British accent.

  “Oh my god, what do you want me to do?”

  “Don’t be an idiot. Go dance with Andy. Cut in.”

  Cam leaned over again. “I think you should take Travis’s advice.”

  “Again, I don’t need any more of your help,” I yelled at Cam.

  “I’m just saying—” Ca
m teased.

  I looked over at Jordan and he was nodding his head. I trusted Jordy more than Cam or Travis. “Really?” I asked him.

  Jordy shrugged. “Yeah. I think it would mean a lot to Andy—for him to know that you aren’t embarrassed, that you don’t care who sees you dance with him.”

  “God, I’m not embarrassed of him,” I said, feeling like shit.

  “We know that. But he doesn’t,” Travis said.

  “Jesus guys, I don’t dance. I mean, maybe if it was a slow song. But seriously, I can’t dance.”

  “Are you sure you’re even gay?” Cam asked. “Don’t worry, boo, I got you,” he said, pulling out his phone.

  Travis looked over at me and shook his head. “Dude, you’ve got to learn to dance. What the hell?”

  As soon as the song ended, the DJ’s voice rumbled through the bar. “I don’t usually slow things down this early, but, well, I’ll just be honest. I got a request along with a very generous tip on Venmo. So, this goes out to all you Friends of Dorothy out there.”

  I looked over at Cam. His smirk said it all, but he added, “You’re welcome,” anyway.

  I knew, even before the music began to play, that I was having a quintessential moment of truth. If I walked across the bar and danced with Andy, that was it, I was coming out. My heart pounded in my chest.

  Judy Garland’s voice enveloped the room as “Over the Rainbow” began to play. Ben took Andy’s hand and spun him gracefully under his arm, before placing his other hand on Andy’s lower back. I still wasn’t sure I was ready. But then, Andy moved closer and laid his head against Ben’s chest. That was the moment. That was the moment I knew. I was the one who should be dancing with Andy, not Ben. That’s all that mattered. Nothing else. I jumped up and practically ran across the bar.

  I put my hand on Ben’s shoulder. He immediately let go of Andy and jumped backward. His arms flew up over his face. “Christ. Don’t hit me. Please don’t hit me. It was Cam’s idea—”