The Broken Canvas

by Tai Barnett

“Yup, you’re quite the nurturer!” Andrew replied.

  I leaned back and rested my head on to the pillow while staring at Charles

  “So how are you? Are you OK? How was your casting?” While he sat in the rocking chair looking at me breastfeeding, I could sense his concern and love for me and the children.

  “Yes, I have a couple weeks here before I leave for eight months?”

  “Wow, eight months without you. That’s awful.”

  I suddenly felt deeply saddened that Andrew would not be here for eight months. And for the next couple of weeks, he made sure to come by every night. Waiting until Charles and me were asleep before he left for his home.

  I knew Andrew was an extraordinary man and that he cared about me, but I never truly knew how he felt until the next time I saw him.

  Blind Date

  I gained a good 45 pounds while pregnant with Charles.

  14 months later and only 15 pounds lighter, one of my Hollywood producer friends decided to set me up on a blind date, which I hated by the way.

  The guy was in his late fifties, one of Atlanta’s top plastic surgeons. He was Latino, average height with strands of grey hair forming a streak at the side of his head. He had caramel skin, and perfectly aligned white teeth.

  Raul was a very good-looking, wide-eyed man that always smelled delicious and was very soft spoken. He was one of those people whose age you could not tell. They appear to be much younger than they really are. He was always alluring and tender, but something was just wrong, I had enough experience with attracting all the wrong men to know.

  After our first date, I felt comfortable enough to go out with him again. So, after a couple more nights out, the interest seemed to be deepening. Although, sometimes I just wondered if he really was into me like he claimed he was. He was always spacing out in the middle of our conversations and always checking his cell phone every ten minutes. I should have known better. A red flag should have gone up the minute he told me he had three young children with three different women. Somehow, my friend forgot to mention that part.

  After spending two grueling hours just getting me ready, Vernon, Michael and Lauren had been at my house waiting on me as usual to see what the outcome of the date night would be. This night, they put me into very sexy black pant-looking leggings. It showed every outline of my, now again, huge ass and a very low-cut leopard top accentuating my double-D twins.

  One would think that the glitz and glamour of Hollywood life would be what any mature and independent woman would absolutely enjoy and indulge in right? Well, that was entirely not who I was. All the make-overs, long beauty regimens, sizing and fitting of outfits, interviews and photo-shoots; no, that was by far the hardest part in my opinion. Everything else was what I could see myself doing over and over again, until I was a hundred.

  ***

  It was a late evening and what I like to call the ‘Three Musketeers’—Vernon, Michael, and Lauren, were hanging out in the kitchen and cooking a huge pot of Red Peas Soup.

  The kids were sleeping at my parents’. They often spent the weekend with their grandparents which gave me the pleasure of relaxing on my recent date nights.

  “They met while filming Paradise, I thought she told you that though?” said Lauren to Michael and Vernon while she was sorting through my emails around the kitchen counter.

  Lauren was the perfect personal assistant. She was always up to date with every social media happening and responses. She loved her job but hated the horrible gossip and rumors that they would sometimes publish about me.

  Michael was 9 years older than Lauren, he loved her very much but thought she needed to loosen up a bit and start having a life of her own. He spoiled her too, we all did. And we all became even closer when Conner died. Those two were so in love with each other that they even started looking like one another. But since the day he died, she was never the same. It just shoved her more into wanting to be quiet all the time. Although when she was around us, you could see how her face light up and then she started living again.

  Lauren always said that she found her soul mate in Conner, but it seemed that either God had another plan for her or she had another soul mate to find. In any case, she had no immediate plans of finding love again but sometimes, we are not the ones to decide on what the heart truly wants. The universe sometimes conspires to give the meeting of two hearts in a very precise and convenient timing.

  As a matter of fact, the three of us were inseparable, knowing every detail of each other’s life. And Vernon was no different, even though his role was defined otherwise. But they were all very overprotective of me because they knew I was relatively inexperienced with men and sometimes a little bit too impulsively kind. They were there during my brightest and darkest times, when Rose’s father was a lying cheater or when Brody was being a dick at work or even when I met Andrew.

  It was almost 7 pm and Andrew decided to give me a surprise visit that same evening. Having not seen me and the children for over 14 months now, was more than he could handle.

  Michael used a metal spoon to taste the delectable pot of soup that he was preparing. Vernon looked at him and shook his head and smiled as he stacked the kitchen towels that he was folding, one over the other on top of the table beside Lauren.

  “Ohh, needs some more salt. Ohh girl, you better thank God that you have a brother like me. As you say you feel for some Red Peas Soup, I jump up and start cooking,” Michael said.

  “What else is family for? They ain’t no use if they aren’t there to feed you or comfort you in your times of need,” Vernon said.

  Michael took a pinch of salt from the glass canister and threw it into the pot. Lauren looked up at him and smiled.

  “Anyway, no, I didn’t know that’s how she and Andrew officially met. In fact, I only saw Brody Banister when he visited Tasha that one time,” Vernon said. He looked confused looking into the air trying to see if he could remember.

  “Oh yeah, I remember now, that week was hell for Tasha!” Vernon said gloomily.

  “Well, honey, let me tell you, they were so into each other. Well, at least Natasha was. Remember, y’all? How she was acting, all blushing and stupid like when she was dating Rose’s father. I mean I can tell he was into her too, but she was all up into him talking and laughing. I could tell she really liked him, maybe even loved him,” Michael said.

  “Well, personally, I really like Andrew. You can tell he’s a rare young man who comes from a loving family, and he ain’t never taken no financial advantage of Tasha. At least, that we know of,” said Vernon.

  “Yeah, you’re right and I think she really loves Andrew. Yes, Brody is an arguably more successful actor, but he is just older,” Lauren said while typing and looking straight ahead at the laptop.

  I must say that Vernon and my two cousins were both, at first, indifferent towards Andrew, not knowing his intentions but they grew to like him a lot. They were now treating him more like family, especially Lauren.

  They heard the back door closing as they saw Andrew walking in with his black knapsack on his back and looking different from the last time that they saw him.

  “Hey, Andrew, what’s up?” said Michael while stirring the pot, smiling and gawking.

  “Oh, hey guys. I am so relieved to be back, that was a long flight,” Andrew said. Looking somewhat disheveled like he just hopped on a plane without giving much thought about his appearance. Still, his good looks could not be hidden.

  “I thought you said you wouldn’t be back until a couple of days?” said Vernon.

  “We finished shooting early and I was anxious to get back to surprise Natasha and the kids,” Michael looked at Lauren and Vernon and smiled.

  “Wow, that’s mighty sweet of you, Andrew. It’s a pity you and Tasha are just friends.” Michael said. “You two would make such a cute couple,” He mumbled.

  Vernon and Lauren looked at him and sighed; Vernon was shaking his head and muttering to himself.

  Michael placed
the spoon on the counter-top and walked over to Andrew.

  “Well, anyway, Andrew…you’re looking mighty different, gained some muscles from the last time I saw you just a couple of months ago. You look very thick and muscular, and like you just popped right out of bed and went to the airport…hmm hmm,” Michael said with obvious desire and lust in his voice.

  Andrew was aware that people thought he was handsome, but he really didn’t care much about being handsome. He just liked acting, travelling and spending time with me and children.

  My cousin Michael always flirted with my boyfriends. I was still not sure if I would ever describe Brody as ever being a boyfriend either. He was more like an unexpected incredible coincidence that was work related.

  Being so used to her brother’s flirtatious ways, Lauren shook her head and giggled while continuing to sort through social media type stuff.

  “Yes, well, the role required that I gained some mass. What are you whipping up there? Smells delicious.” Andrew asked as he walked over to the pot, looked in and sniffed.

  Michael, by now, was chopping aromatics to season the pot while still looking like a dog waiting for a bone staring at Andrew.

  “It’s Red Peas Soup, a Jamaican favorite. Honey, you will want seconds, believe me. It will be ready in a few minutes, just needs to simmer a bit,” Michael said.

  Andrew looked at Lauren and smiled.

  “I see you’re hard at work as usual Lauren?” Andrew said.

  “Hey, Andrew, yes. It seems everyone thinks that you two are still a couple and that you and Tasha eloped in Mexico, according to some of these articles,” Lauren said smiling.

  Andrew sighed.

  “Yes, those media monsters can be such a pain in ass sometimes,” Andrew said. He rested his knapsack onto the countertop beside Michael.

  “Well, the house is so quiet. Where is everyone?” Andrew asked.

  Michael threw in the seasoning, stirred the pot and turned the stove to low heat and sat in front of Lauren and Vernon.

  “Well, the children are at their grandparents’ and Natasha went out on a date. I am surprised she hasn’t told you. You two being tighter than two peas in a pod,” said Vernon.

  “Yeah. She has been dating this very successful plastic surgeon for a couple weeks now. A very sophisticated and charming older man called Raul,” Michael said trying to incite some sincere reaction from Andrew.

  Andrew literally was turning red as he stood and folded his arms trying to contain what he was feeling.

  “No—ahm. She mentioned nothing. We hardly spoke because I was so busy. Anyway…how long has she been out by the way?” Andrew asked.

  “Well, perhaps, she will be back in another hour or so. They have been out from around four,” said Lauren looking at Andrew and trying to lighten the situation.

  “Or, maybe later—depending on how much of a good time they are having—” said Michael provokingly.

  Lauren snuffled as she looked at Michael. He knew she was telling him to shut the hell up.

  “Just saying,” Michael muttered so only Lauren could hear.

  “Ahem…ahh. I am just going go into the TV room for a bit. Kinda recover from the…jetlag,” Andrew said trying very hard to conceal his true feelings.

  Andrew swiftly and angrily headed toward the TV room. He stayed there for a while, thinking and pacing back and forth for about another 30 minutes.

  “Look at how angry you made him Michael. Dat boy is ’bout to fly off the handle!” exclaimed Vernon.

  “Well, it’s better he learns the truth from family before it just slaps him right in the face in the papers tomorrow morning right?” Michael asks.

  They heard the front door slam and someone crying. They all ran toward the living room and saw me with napkins in my hand bawling uncontrollably.

  Andrew heard from the TV room and decided to listen before showing up.

  Michael, Vernon, and Lauren ran over to me as I threw myself, keys, and my tote onto the couch, still weeping uncontrollably. They surrounded me closely while Michael brushed my hair from my oval Latino looking face. They started crying too—they always did when they saw me crying.

  Andrew made several attempts to walk in but restrained himself for wanting to know exactly what was going on

  “What happened Tasha? Tell us,” Vernon exclaimed.

  “I don’t know. Is something so wrong with me that I have no luck with men? I mean I have a good career, right? They say I am successful and not…too ugly—”

  “Honey, don’t be ridiculous, you’re gorgeous, just wonderful!” exclaimed Michael.

  “You’re just saying that. I mean look at my arms, and thighs, not to mention my ginormous ass—and my stomach. Did you see those stretch marks Lauren? They are literally plastered over my stomach since I had Rose and my legs were rubbing…rubbing? Can you even begin to imagine it?”

  The Three Musketeers were so empathetic but still were not certain what was happening.

  “It was just so ugly that Lauren and I had to get our asses and entire down their bleached, did you guys know that?” Natasha exclaimed.

  “You got your asses bleached without me? I can’t even believe—and why did you need to have your skinny little ass bleached anyhow?” said Michael looking at Lauren.

  “Michael, just shut up!” exclaimed Lauren.

  Sighing heavily, I threw my head back into the couch and placed one hand on top of my head.

  Vernon stood and folded his hands while looking down at me.

  “What the hell is going on here Tasha? Are you gonna tell us what happened or not?” Vernon exclaimed.

  I sat up and looked at Michael.

  “You know you were absolutely right Michael, love really does not exist! This romance thing is just ridiculous. I found out that Dr. Raul is actually seeing someone else. She walked into the house in the middle of our making out on the couch. She just soared across the room and started attacking me that I had to bolt out of his house and quickly drive away.”

  Michael jumped to his feet.

  “That bitch! I have been telling you too, Tasha. You need to start defending yourself and start showing people that you ain’t a walkover. I say we go up in there right now and start whipping that girl’s ass!” Michael said with his eyes almost bulging out of his head.

  Lauren sighed and hugged me tightly as we heard the thunder rumbling and it started bucketing down. Michael was angrily pacing back and forth. Vernon was sighing deeply and as usual mumbling to himself.

  “Honey don’t listen to him. Never mind either, ’cause hurting dem two is ’bout useful as tits on a bull!” said Vernon shaking his head from side to side while brushing my hair back.

  “Tasha, sometimes these things are for the best. He really doesn’t deserve you,” Lauren said.

  “Everyone thinks I have it all together you know. I am Natasha Bishop! But look at me behind closed doors, a wreck without a man! Now I have children for bastards and getting into catfights with girlfriends.”

  I wiped my eyes and hugged Lauren closely while Michael and Vernon looked at us with tears falling down their faces.

  Suddenly, out of nowhere and completely unexpectedly Andrew walked briskly passed Michael and grabbed one of my arms.

  I looked up thinking it was Michael pulling me to go out on his revengeful plot against Raul and his girlfriend. As I stood, I saw Andrew gasping severely with a livid appearance I had never seen before.

  I looked at him while I slightly squinted and shaking my head as the tears ran from my eyes.

  “Andrew, what are you doing here?” Lauren also stood up, strangely looking at Andrew.

  He pulled me closer towards him and looked down into my eyes.

  “Not another word, come with me,” Andrew pulled me behind him as I looked timidly at Michael and Lauren.

  Michael folded his arms with his eyes wide open while he, Vernon, and Lauren stood to the back watching in awe as Andrew led me outside the front door. They ran behind us
curious to find out why Andrew was behaving like a 50-year-old seasoned army general.

  “But Andrew, what’s going on?” I was confused and looking up at him, standing at the opened front door with the rain pouring on top of our heads. He looked at me and still said nothing with his hand gripping my wrist tightly.

  He stepped out into the driveway while still holding my hands and said only this while shouting back at Lauren, Vernon, and Michael, “Guys, she’ll be fine! Don’t worry about her!” He yelled.

  They all stood by the door looking as Andrew put me into the front seat of his pickup and speedily walked to the other side of the vehicle.

  No one had ever seen this side of Andrew, not even me. He was hard and aggressive, even more sexy, even more manly—very focused on getting his intentions accomplished, whatever they were.

  Best Friend or Complete Stranger?

  I had never seen Andrew like this before. I was worried because he was saying absolutely nothing for the ten-minute drive and he was speeding, which he never ever does.

  Everything was running through my mind—my best friend was really a psycho manic killer that was surely going to mutilate and kill me now…but why? What did I do that would make even my best friend hate me now?

  He drove the heavy wheeler into his driveway and jumped out. He was wearing a black t-shirt, black jeans and sandals. He quickly walked to my side, opened the door and held my hands once more, taking me out of the vehicle.

  “Andrew, it’s pouring. What’s going on, what’s the matter with you, why are you acting so crazy?” Still he said nothing as we walked toward his white elaborate front door.

  He threw me inside the house and slammed the door behind him.

  I started becoming panicky, slightly moving towards the door to see if I could escape this madness. Every inch of me dripping wet. Yet, still I hadn’t fallen in my black stilettoes.

  I brushed back my hair from my face and sighed while both of us stood there in the dark room with only the beams of the lamppost from outside getting in.

  “Andrew, you’re scaring me. What’s the matter?”