His words crush me. I have to look away before I drown from the look of love and commitment in his eyes.
“I know. I know you won’t ever leave me.” I blink away tears as he moves his hands to wipe away the stray tears that fall from my eyes.
“Good, now let’s just drop it, okay?”
“Okay.” I have taken this conversation as far as it can go with Charlie. If I push any harder, he’ll get suspicious again and I can’t have that.
“You’re sure you’re okay?”
“I am now that I’m with you.” I push away the sadness trying to swallow me up, and focus all my energy on the fact that I’m here alone with Charlie. I need to enjoy every second I have left with him.
I sit up, adjusting my hips lower over him, feeling him react to my movement. I then lean down over him and my lips gently brush over his. What I planned to be soft and gentle quickly changes to deep and rough. His mouth readily accepts mine. My fingers dig into his shoulders as his own hands move quickly under my shirt and up my stomach, stopping as he reaches my breasts.
Back in that room I had felt hungry and thirsty. I had gone days with barely anything, but that is nothing to the starvation I feel for Charlie’s lips, for his touch, his body.
“Wait,” I gasp, pulling away from him just in time for him to pull my shirt over my head.
He stops his movement, taking in the sight of me. So far, the lights haven’t gone off and I can see the desire he has for me in his eyes, in the way he licks his lips and the feel of his length that is digging into me. His obvious excitement rises my own inside of me, but I still myself from rushing this.
“I want to take this slowly,” I say, knowing that there is a good chance I won’t be able to stop myself.
I pull his shirt up over his chest as he leans forward to help me. He lifts up his arms and I throw it over the side of the bed once it’s off. I let my eyes roam over his body, taking in every bit of it I can, trying to commit the sight to my memory. My hands move forward of their own accord and I touch his face gently. He stays still, watching me and waiting for what I want to do.
I slowly move my fingers over his face, touching his lips, feeling his smile. Then my hands move up through his hair, over his ears and down to his neck. I caress his arms, feeling the muscles twitch underneath me as I carefully touch his bruised knuckles. I move over to his chest and he holds his breath, no doubt waiting for me to tickle him. I resist doing so—even though I really want to—because this moment is important. If I tickle him, then he’ll take over and I’m not finished yet.
When I get down to where I’m sitting, I move away from him, pulling off his pants and boxer-shorts. I work my way up then; moving from his toes, up his legs and over his thighs. I take in every part of him as I let my fingers roam so I will forever remember the touch of him. As I move further up his thigh I also take in his erection. The sight of it does things to me that no other man has or will ever be able to do. Just as I place my hand over him, he quickly flips our positions and I lose my grip.
“I’m not sure how much restraint I have left in me right now, so it’s my turn.” His voice is thick and husky, and that alone gives me shivers over my body.
He does the same as what I have just done to him expect instead of using his hands, he uses his lips. The feel of him on me ignites a fire inside of me; more than once I beg him to simply take me. He ruthlessly ignores my pleas and keeps going, taking off the rest of my clothes until we are both naked.
We tease and bring each other to the breaking point several more times before we give in. He fills me and it isn’t long before we can’t contain ourselves any longer and climax. It’s the best sex I’ve ever had in my life and I am crying by the end. The lights are no longer on, having gone out a while before. I try to hide my tears from him, not wanting to spoil the moment as we fall asleep in each other’s arms, utterly exhausted, but also content. How the hell am I supposed to live without him?
I gaze at Charlie, watching him walk up familiar steps. I take a minute to place them; these are the steps that lead to Drew’s parents’ house back home in Boston. I had come here a few times with Dana. When I helped them move out, I had cursed these stairs more than once.
Charlie appears nervous, one hand tucked into his jeans while the other one moves around his hair. His face is unshaven and his hair uneven and messy. He looks similar to how he looked when we were reunited at the cabin. He stares at the front door, and I suddenly realize what I’m seeing.
Quickly he rushes up the rest of the steps and, before he can back out, he knocks loudly.
It takes a while for anyone to answer. When I see Drew open the door, I openly cry, seeing the state of him. He looks so different. He’s lost weight, his eyes are sunken in and his hair is greasy and dull. There is no trace of a smile and the sadness in his eyes is enough to feel like I’ve been stabbed in the heart.
Oh, Drew, what has happened to you? What have you done to yourself?
“Hey, you must be Charlie?” Drew mutters to him, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.
“Yeah, nice to meet you.” Charlie holds out his hand and I see a similar sadness in his eyes.
“Come on in.” As Drew shakes his hand and then steps away from the door, I quickly follow him in.
The house is a lot like I remembered it being when I was lugging boxes out of here except when I pass Drew’s room I see it appears a lot like how it looked when we first started the move. The whole room is boxed up, making me realize he’s moved back home.
“Can I get you a drink?”
“Water would be great,” Charlie says, eyeing the several empty beer bottles by the worn in chair in front of the TV. Drew has never been one to drink much, however the fact that his mom is a clean freak means they must all be from today.
He goes into the kitchen where I hear the tap running. When he returns, he hands Charlie his water while he has a fresh bottle of beer in his hands.
Charlie looks around the room, his eyes landing on a photo of Dana, Drew and me from graduation. We’re all laughing since we were just recounting how one of the boys from our class managed to fall over in front of everyone while accepting his diploma.
“So this is Dana?” he asks, taking the photo in his hands. His thumb moves over my image. I know that he barely looks away from me to see her.
“Yeah.” Drew steps over to stand by Charlie, his hands taking the photo off him as he gazes lovingly at Dana.
“She’s beautiful.”
“She was.” Drew’s voice hitches. He quickly puts the photo back, walking over to his chair and grabbing the beer he left there, taking a long gulp of it.
“Zoe talked about her a lot. She was heartbroken when we first met, completely broken.”
“I can’t believe she was kidnaped. I was…” Drew looks down at his beer. “I was angry at her for leaving me. I was furious when she didn’t show up to the funeral. I thought for sure she would come back for it. Every day she was gone I hated her more.”
Drew’s words cut me. I fall to my knees, no longer able to breathe.
“She would have come if she could. She couldn’t go back home; it would have put you all at risk.”
“I realize that now. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for her. She was like a sister to me, and I spent a year hating her when she was going through hell,” he gasps, this time not able to keep his tears in.
“She made me promise that if anything happened to her that I would check in on you. She wanted so desperately to be here for you. I know she wouldn’t blame you for the way you felt. You couldn’t have known any different.”
Drew nods his head. I just hope he’s hearing Charlie’s words. I definitely don’t blame him for hating me, if anything, I think I deserve it.
“Zoe’s mom said that you guys were close. You were taken, too?”
“I loved her. She was the only good thing that came out of me being kidnapped, and now that I’m free and she’s dead…” Charlie’s voi
ce cracks and he takes a deep breath. “It’s like I never left there. I’m still trapped somewhere. I’m not me anymore. My old life isn’t the same. Nothing feels right.”
Drew nods again, this time looking up at Charlie.
“I know, man. I don’t think that’ll ever change.”
Charlie takes a long sip of his water, sitting on the sofa opposite Drew’s chair.
“Could you tell me about her? About her and Dana?” he asks hopefully.
“Sure, I’ve got some more photos somewhere if you want to see?” Drew leans to the side, his beer forgotten as he grabs an easily accessible photo album resting on the side of his chair. It’s one of Dana’s. He moves and sits next to Charlie on the sofa, opening it up. “I nearly ripped Zoe out of them, I was so angry. I’m glad I didn’t.”
“I haven’t got any photos of her,” Charlie admits as his hand rests over my image again.
“You can have some of these. I mean, I want the ones with Dana, but I know there are some in here of just Zoe.”
“Thanks.”
As I watch them go through each photo carefully, I stare over their shoulders, taking in the images of Dana. It’s been so long since I’ve seen her anywhere other than my own memories. I cry, remembering each memory that Drew recounts for Charlie.
My heart swells with love watching them both bond over their love for us. I want nothing more than to wrap my arms around them both and comfort them. However I don’t exist here.
I feel myself pulling further away from them as I wake up, leaving them both behind.
When I awake crying, I turn my head into my pillow to drown out the noise I can’t help but make. Charlie is softly snoring next to me. I want to wake him up and thank him for keeping his promise to me. I want to thank him for checking in on Drew and beg him to make sure he doesn’t leave him in that state because it’s obvious that he’s struggling. I can’t, though. If I tell him I dreamt about that, then he’ll know that he’s leaving this place without me.
The sadness in Drew’s eyes breaks my heart, but so does the sadness in Charlie’s. I don’t allow myself to acknowledge any consequences. I just quickly get up and get changed. I run down the hallway and don’t stop until I reach Rose’s room where I charge in and rush over to the bottom bunk bed, grateful to see Rose sleeping in it. From the moonlight shining in from the window I note that she doesn’t appear to be harmed.
“Rose!” I hiss, shaking her shoulders roughly to wake her up. I don’t have a clue what time it is, but I also don’t care. Noticing her roommate hasn’t made it back from the mock mission, I speak more loudly.
“Rose!”
She grumbles, but as her eyes open and she makes contact with me, she quickly shoots up in her bed.
“What’s happening? What’s going on?” she demands, her legs swinging over to the end of her bed. She shoots to her feet, ready for anything.
“I need to talk to you,” I say, my voice shaking.
“What’s wrong?” Rose stands next to me, already picking up on how upset I am.
“I need to tell you something, but it’s really important that you listen and don’t ask me any questions or mention this to anyone.”
“What’s going on?” Rose narrows her eyes at me.
“Please, can you do that?”
“Okay, I can try.”
“No, I need you to promise me. I need to trust you, it’s important.”
“Okay, okay. I promise.”
I take several deep breaths, trying to talk myself out of doing this, but then I see Charlie’s sad eyes and I quickly blurt it out before I can stop myself.
“I had a dream of the future. Something is going to happen to us. I can’t say what, and you can’t ask me. Just know that you and Charlie are going to get out of here, and you are going to be fine.”
“What?”
“Dean is alive, and you will be reunited with him.”
Rose gasps, her hands gripping my arms suddenly. “Dean is alive?”
“Yes, he is fine. I need you to do two things for me, though.”
“What?” she asks me. I know she’s only half listening to me, she’s going into shock.
“I need you to watch out for Charlie. I know you guys don’t get along very well, but promise me you’ll look after him. Please?” I beg.
Her shock over hearing the news that Dean is alive begins to wear off and suspicion takes over instead. “What is going to happen? Why aren’t you and Will with us?”
“I can’t tell you, and you can’t ask me ever again, okay? I need you to do another thing.”
“What?” Rose asks more hesitantly now.
“Get married soon, don’t wait. I keep seeing that wedding of yours and you look so beautiful and happy. Please don’t wait to share that memory together.”
“I—I don’t know what to say.” Rose has tears in her eyes. “Are you and Will okay?”
“Rose…” I groan, thinking that maybe this wasn’t a good idea.
“Sorry.”
“Just know that I’ll be looking after Will. I need you to look after Charlie. Even if he pushes you away, even if he’s horrible to you, please make sure he’s okay.”
“I will. I promise.” Rose wipes away at her tears. “Why do I feel like you’re saying goodbye to me right now?”
“I’m not. I’m sorry I woke you up in the middle of the night. I just needed to say that to you.”
“So this isn’t goodbye?” she confirms with me.
“No, I’ll still be here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next,” I assure her, not really sure how true that is.
“They can’t split us up; it’s not fair,” Rose cries, her arms circling around me. Her assumption that I’ve dreamt we are being split up isn’t a leap, but realizing that our deaths are most likely going to be faked, she’ll probably think my words of looking after Will come from us being in Heaven. Knowing that breaks my already beaten heart even further. I might need a heart transplant after this.
“I know, just don’t act weird tomorrow. I don’t want Charlie suspecting anything.”
“Okay.” Rose pulls away from me. “I thought hearing the news that Dean is alive would make me the happiest person alive, instead, I feel helpless.”
“Don’t feel that. Be happy. Soon you’ll be with him. Soon you’ll be his wife!” I say excitedly, trying to feel as happy as I sound.
“I wasn’t sure I was ready for all that when he proposed, now I can’t wait for something normal. I can’t wait to be a wife, to be his wife.” Rose smiles at me. I feel a pang of jealously that Charlie and I won’t ever get to experience that.
“I’m so happy for you. We wouldn’t have made it anywhere without you, we’d still be stuck at The Windmill. You’re the strongest person I know, and so caring and loving. Don’t ever lose that.”
“Okay, now this definitely feels like a goodbye. I’m not letting you go.” She wraps her arms around me again, this time holding me tightly. I feel her body shake with her tears.
“Sorry, I’m not going anywhere… well, except back to bed. You weren’t hurt, were you?” I try to change the topic.
“Just a nasty hit to the head. Martha came back before I could even get my hands near a computer. There was a guard in there that I wasn’t expecting. I totally failed.”
“It wasn’t your fault. They were expecting us to try something. We weren’t ever likely to succeed,” I admit.
“I’ll think of something, don’t give up on me yet.” Rose winces, perhaps knowing there is no way out of this place.
“I’m sorry I woke you, I just needed to get that out.” I step back from her arms and she lets them fall to her side.
“Are you sure you can’t tell me more?”
“No, and please keep it to yourself. I’ll be forever in your debt for looking out for Charlie. Thank you.”
I give her one last quick hug and then let myself out before she can try to get more information out of me. I might have made a big mistake ta
lking to Rose just then, but I feel better knowing that she’ll stick to her promise and that maybe Charlie will be all right once we’re separated.
Chapter 18 – THE FIRE
April 6th
It’s the beginning of the day before my birthday. I haven’t mentioned it to anyone, but I know I might need to since I’m pretty sure I’m going to be a mess tomorrow. Each day this week Dana’s been on my mind, and so has my impending separation from Charlie and Rose. Rose kept her word; she hasn’t mentioned what we talked about again, but each meal she seems surprised and grateful to see me, like she’s expecting one day to wake up and I’ll be gone. Maybe that will be how it happens? Maybe I’ll be taken from my bed while Charlie sleeps clueless beside me? How will the fire figure into that? Or is the fire something different?
I know that whatever is coming for Will and me is going to happen soon. Ethan and a bunch of other guys were shuffled out of here a couple of days ago; transferred to a new facility.
To say things have been tense between Ethan and me would be an understatement. He’s still angry over our argument, and I can’t understand why he is so angry about it. I have enough on my plate without adding him to it, so we both ignored each other and then he left. I do feel a bit sad that he’s gone; that I might not ever see him again except I suppose my future dream already tells me I will see him again. It doesn’t matter. It is nothing compared to the sadness waiting for me once I lose Charlie.
Charlie doesn’t appear to suspect anything is coming for us. Every night we have continued our new ritual of taking it slow. Every moment has felt intoxicating and amazing. It’s both too much and not enough. I hate falling asleep because it feels like wasted time. I hate it when he is taken away to have his blackout training. It’s pointless now and they’re only doing it to keep up appearances.
Martha hasn’t spoken to any of us, but every time I’ve seen her she has a smug smile on her face. She knows we’re about to be split up and she knows what it’ll do to us. She is looking forward to the fallout.
The morning starts like it usually does; with Shane running us through drills. I’ve noticed my fitness has gotten a lot better than it ever was at the cabin.
Taken By Choice (Taken Trilogy Book 3) Page 22
