If You Could Only See (Buchanan Brothers Series Book 1)

by M. E. Clayton

  Very much like me and my brothers were doing now.

  The only difference was that I wasn’t an only child, as my father had been, and his father before him, and the condition placed on me to take over Buchanan Industries was also placed on each of my brothers.

  And that was perfectly okay with me.

  I had no desire to run myself into the ground trying to maintain BI’s standards and growth alone.

  I didn’t mind being in charge and I wasn’t afraid of hard work, but I refused to be so business oriented that I ended up neglecting my wife and raising our children like they were in military boot camp, later down the line.

  Besides, whatever I could bring to the table would be ten times better with my brothers beside me.

  We all had our strengths, and we all had our weakness, as evident by the constant reminders by our father.

  I had a photographic memory and could multi-task with ease. I had the ability to grab and take control of anything that was thrown at me. That’s probably why I’ve never knocked the shit out of my father. I’ve always been able to handle whatever he heaped onto my shoulders. And that included the shoulders of my brothers. Someone had to protect them from the sadistic bastard.

  The flip side to my coin was that it was hard for me to identify with emotions. I was cold and hard, and I struggled with connecting to people.

  At 21 years old, Aiden was the second oldest…or I guess, technically the middle child, since our two youngest brothers were twins. Aiden’s gift was his ability to do math in his head. He could calculate numbers, odds and situational outcomes with his robotic mind. It was really a neat thing to witness.

  The flip side to his coin was the female creation. Aiden spent his teenage years struggling between keeping focused on our father’s vision and sinking in between a female’s thighs.

  The twins were 18 and our mother should have named them Lucifer and Dante instead of Gabriel and Michael because angels they were not.

  Gabriel was the oldest by three minutes, making Michael the youngest. Gabriel’s contribution to my father’s Buchanan Industries vision was that the kid could read people. It was uncanny and kind of eerie how he could spend ten minutes in someone’s company and then tell you everything about the person’s character. He’s played a big part in keeping Aiden from any planned ‘accidents’ growing up. He can spot a conniving, gold digging whore from a mile away.

  The flip side to his coin is that his loyalty is absolute. If I asked Gabriel to go with me to murder someone, he’d go. No questions asked. He ignored reason when it came to me, Aiden, Michael, our mother and, unfortunately, our father. And our father wasn’t above manipulating that loyalty.

  Last, there was Michael. Now, you would think with him being the baby of the family, he would have been spared our father’s dictations…but he wasn’t and isn’t. I always suspected Michael got hit with my father’s demands the hardest because, after Michael, my father had no one left to beat on and bully.

  Well, except for our mother.

  Michael’s strength was his calm, cool demeanor. While I could juggle a lot of demands and expectations, Michael could remain calm even when he was in the eye of the storm. While everyone around him panicked and frantically tried to find reason, Michael could compartmentalize and find solutions to any crisis.

  The flip side to his coin was his temper. Michael’s temper rarely came out. I mean, very rarely. But when it did…Jesus, Mary and Joseph, was it a sight to behold. Michael not only lost his temper, he got violent. Scary violent.

  And he had the scars to prove it. It was the only way we could tell him apart from Gabriel.

  And it didn’t help that he could fight like a caged animal just sprung loose.

  We all could.

  Our father made sure his sons grew up with all the expectations of what a real man is supposed to be-in his eyes. So, we were all bred to all be intelligent, groomed, strong, ambitious and ferocious.

  Separately, we were hard to take on, but together…there’s been no one-so far-that’s been able to stop us whenever we’ve gone after something together.

  And now we were all together again and Blaineview has been in an uproar over it.

  Guys are trying to become our ‘bros’ and girls are tripping over themselves trying to land one of us. I get it, but I don’t.

  Hanging out with random guys has never been an issue for me. I don’t mind running with a crowd, I just wouldn’t call anyone here an actual friend.

  I’ve hung out, gone to parties and have even gone on weekend trips camping or whatever, but not one person on this campus has ever been invited to my house. It’s not a secret where I live, but it’s also not a secret that if you haven’t been personally invited to my house by, either me or Aiden…or I guess now Michael or Gabriel, too…then you better not come knocking on our door.

  Over the years, a few bold-or stupid-people have tried showing up unexpectedly, and every time, it turned out unfavorable for them.

  One girl ran away in tears and she switched schools.

  Again, I have problems connecting and sympathy was not an emotion that affected me often. And as far as when I felt the need to get my dick wet…well, that’s when I take a weekend to myself and drive the two hours to the city and hook up with someone I’ll never see again.

  And I only use the condoms I buy, and I put them on myself. I also inspect them before and afterwards.

  A little paranoia at work? Yeah, maybe…but it beats the alternative.

  And as far as I know, Aiden exercises the same methods, only he wets his drought with more than one woman on the weekends he gets away. Gabriel has a steady girlfriend...or had, I’m not sure what the deal is now that he’s at Blaineview. While Gabriel loves her, I’m not sure where she stood with long distant relationships. And I’m almost positive that Michael is a virgin.

  By choice.

  Our father’s coming of age talk was him telling us he didn’t care what we did as long as there weren’t pictures, promises or unwanted pregnancies. So, when I had a real talk with my younger brothers as they matured, Michael had said I didn’t need to worry about him because he had no plans on getting involved with random girls next door.

  He said he wasn’t going to fuck anyone until he was positive she could handle his intensity and survive the experience.

  I had to admit, his statement had been a bit alarming at the time. But I get it now.

  When Michael finally decides to claim someone, it’s going to be for life, and God help any man who dares come in contact with the poor unsuspecting female.

  He’ll kill them.

  And I get it…I really do.

  I’ve spent most of my life unable to connect with other people. Except for my brothers, I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything beyond the superficial with any other human being.

  Did it hint at the makings of a sociopath? Maybe.

  But the only reason I knew I wasn’t a complete psychopath…??

  I locked eyes with her our freshman year when she looked lost and like she wanted to ask me for help. The look on my face must have discouraged her because she took one look at me and walked away.

  But I’ll never forget how looking into that girl’s hazel eyes made me feel everything.

  And I’ve hated/loved her ever since.

  Chapter 3

  Shane~

  It was the Friday before the semester officially began and I was just finishing my shift at the local bookstore/café near my apartment. It was my first job here, and this was my last day of my full-time shifts. My second job was waitressing at a restaurant in town, but that job had already returned to part time last week.

  The bookstore was surprisingly popular and busy all year long. With the internet, most people did everything online, but the library had computer stations and a lot of online support for students who lost or broke their laptops, etc.

  I had just finished ringing up the last person in the store when the bell on the door rang, alertin
g me to a new customer. I twisted backwards and glanced up at the clock and I saw that it was five minutes to closing. I turned to the door saying, “I’m so…rry…”

  My mouth dried up and lost all ability to function when I came face to face with all four Buchanan brothers.

  And, blessed be every mother, father and child, what a sight it was.

  If it wasn’t for the fact that Mason Buchanan was shooting me a look-making it clear I was nothing more than dirty underneath his shoes-I’d probably swoon at the vision before me.

  I immediately noticed that Mason was the tallest, but that was the only difference in built they had amongst them. All four men looked like sleek, muscular, well-honed machines underneath their casual jeans and t-shirts.

  Anyone looking at them could tell they were brothers. They all had a head full of ink black hair though all styled differently. They all had matching brows with the same sharp, distinct shaped eyes. The only difference was that Mason’s eyes were like molten silver and the other three had eyes like green fire.

  They each shared the same nose and strong cheekbones to accompany the perfect symmetry of everything else that made up their perfect faces. They each shared the same cut jaw line, but Mason’s was more prominent; probably because he was the oldest. The twins looked exactly all their age of 18.

  I had heard all the buzz and excitement surrounding the impending arrival of the twins and every person on campus who had ovaries was losing her mind over the thought of having all Buchanans in one place.

  Come to think of it, some people without ovaries were losing their minds, too.

  “What’s got you sorry, Pretty Girl?”

  I focused my attention on the twin who asked me that question, and let me tell you, it was hard to concentrate on anything other than the boy’s extraordinary looks. “Uh…uhm, we’re closing in five minutes,” I stuttered, wondering how my mind was even functioning. My mind always seems to shut down around Mason Buchanan and his blatant hatred for me.

  I wish I knew why he hated me, but I didn’t. The first time I had ever laid eyes on him, I was standing in front of the administration offices completely lost. I had been trying my best to get along without having to engage anyone, but I had finally realized how stupid it was to waste time trying to figure out where to report to when I could just ask someone.

  I turned around to ask whoever caught my eye, but my eyes had locked onto Mason Buchanan’s and I’ll never forget the look on his face when his eyes met mine.

  At first his silver eyes looked casual and then shocked, but then I blinked, and his face had completely transformed. It went from indifference to utter loathing.

  He looked so disgusted with me; I could actually feel his dislike for me from where I was standing.

  The revelation had cut me to the quick. I spent my life keeping to myself and the first time I attempted to put my reservations away and approach someone; he looked like he’d just as soon spit in my face as talk to me.

  I had turned around and fled.

  From that moment on, every time I ran across Mason Buchanan, he’d stare at me with that same look of loathing and disgust. He must have looked at me and been able to tell I was one of the three charity cases at Blaineview.

  Twin #2 leaned on his elbow across the counter and smirked at me. “So, does that mean you’re kicking us out?”

  Yeah, right.

  I wasn’t that big of an idiot.

  There was no way I’d kick these four out of the store, no matter how long past closing they wanted to shop here. “Uhm, no,” I whispered. “Bu…but the kitchen is closed, so you can only buy books, if…”

  Twin #1 joined Twin #2 in leaning over the counter. “You’re very pretty,” he said conversationally.

  I could feel my face blanch. I knew my looks didn’t run towards the ugly side of the spectrum, but I was far from pretty.

  There was absolutely nothing remarkable about me.

  I had plain, wavy brown hair that stopped in the middle of my back and I rarely did anything with it besides throw it up in a bun or ponytail. My eyes were hazel, but then, so were a million other people’s eyes. My nose was average and fit my face averagely. My lips were a little thick, but I stayed away from lipstick to keep them from being noticeable. I had rosy cheeks, but that was because of my light complexion. The only thing awesome about my face was that I had perfectly arched eyebrows that didn’t need plucking, but they were kind of marred by the beauty mark that looked like a period at the end of my right eyebrow.

  And if my face was crowd-blendable, my body was no better. I was 5’2” and my body worked with my height. I had a B cup all the C and D cups that ran through the campus hallways easily overshadowed. I had a small waist, and it flared out to my hips, but my hips and ass matched my frame. And my legs were just long enough to make me 5’2”.

  I was no Vivi, with all her natural, alluring curves.

  So, Twin #1 clearly had to be drunk or high to utter that untrue statement. “I…I don’t think…I’m…”

  Yeah…super articulate, I know.

  He arched his brow and froze me with his gorgeous green gaze. “You don’t think you’re pretty?”

  I was completely befuddled. His stunning looks were rendering me stupid, and Christ, the kid had dimples. Why would God add dimples to these faces? They were lethal as it was without them. “Are you…can I…” I had to clear my throat. “Is there something I can help you find?”

  Twin #2 chuckled as Twin #1 threw his head back and said, “What do you think, Mase? Is there something she can help us with?”

  My body froze as he addressed Mason.

  There was a second of silence and my entire body shook when Mason’s voice broke the silence in the room. “There’s not a single thing she can do to help us,” he bit out, cruelly. And I cursed myself when my body reacted to his words. Or maybe I should say his voice. His words were rude, but his voice sounded like silk being draped over the dirtiest of sins.

  Suddenly, I could feel myself angering and everything in me wanted to ask him what the hell his problem was, but I wasn’t that foolish.

  There were four of them.

  And just because I’ve taken beatings from grown men before, when I was younger and in foster care, didn’t mean I wanted a repeat and I didn’t know these guys well enough to chance it.

  My bravery turned to fear when I heard the obvious signs of a door locking. My head turned towards the door and I caught Aiden Buchanan locking the store’s front door, as bold as you please.

  I silently thanked God that the blinds were still open and passing pedestrians could still see inside the store if they took the time to look. I mentally bargained with The Lord again that if he got me out of this encounter unscathed, I’d picked a religious charity to invest in, once I landed a job.

  I returned my attention to the twins and tried to sound professional, but stern. “I need to close up the store before I get in trouble. Was there something you guys wanted that you need help with?”

  Twin #2 answered, “Nope. Not a thing, Pretty Girl.” He winked at me, and I swear, my knees almost buckled. “We just stopped by to check out a thing or two.” I stood, confused beyond all reason, as I watched Aiden unlock the door and all four of them filed out of the store.

  The worse part?

  While I was happy to watch them leave, having Mason Buchanan give me one final look over his shoulder made my entire body shiver, and it wasn’t in a good way.

  After a few seconds, I snapped out of my stupor, ran to the front of the store, engaged the lock on the front door and pulled down the blinds.

  I let out a deep breath as my back hit the wall and I slid down until my ass hit the floor.

  What in the ever lovin’ fuck just happened?

  Why in the hell would any of them come in here?

  In all the three years I have worked here, I’ve never seen Mason or Aiden come in here. I mean, I suppose they could have come in here during my off shifts, but still, wha
t were the odds?

  I closed my eyes to rid myself of the image of all four Buchanans, but it wasn’t helping. It’s a wonder I hadn’t died of a heart attack having all their attentions centered on me.

  No matter what the reason.

  And Mason finally acknowledging my existence, even if it had been indirectly, was enough to give me nightmares. I mean, I knew he didn’t like me, but I never thought he’d actually be mean to my face.

  I would have to work extra hard to be invisible from now on.

  Chapter 4

  Mason~

  “Now I see what all the fuss is about,” Gabriel said, as he plopped himself down on the couch. The twins had all their shit unpacked and put away by Wednesday, so the living room was, once again, livable.

  “Yeah,” Michael agreed, as he sat down on one of the armchairs in the room. “That girl is smokin’ hot. She doesn’t need makeup with that lickable little beauty mark she has by her eye.”

  “Watch it,” I growled.

  Aiden clapped me on the back as he passed me on his way towards the kitchen. “Relax, Mase. They’re just fucking with you.”

  “Uh, actually, I’m not,” Gabriel countered. “That girl is Grade-A…Ow!”

  I slapped him upside his head as I passed the couch and followed Aiden into the kitchen. “I don’t need your commentary review on her, Gabriel. I just needed you two to know what she looks like so neither of you hits on her, making me have to kill you.” Gabriel snorted. He knew I knew they wouldn’t.

  It was about six months after I had first seen Shane that I finally accepted that I was fucked where it came to that girl. I spent most of my life not feeling much of anything for people, but every time I saw her or was near her, curiosity, concern, want, desire, possessiveness, protectiveness and lust like a motherfucker assaulted me.

  I had known she was different, but I had been hoping the feelings she invoked would go away with time. But they hadn’t. All they did was end up becoming a full blow obsession.